I was floating somewhere between awake and asleep. A soft, white light enveloped me, surrounding me with warmth before it was suddenly taken from me.

So many sensations washed over me as I came to. The scratchiness of the grass beneath my cheek, the stickiness of dried tears on my face, a pain throbbing in my abdomen, the warm roughness of Chief's tongue as he licked my cheek.

"Elizabeth." Jack's voice sounded from somewhere in the distance. "Oh, please, no." His footsteps were quick and growing louder; he was running toward me.

I felt his hand on my cheek. My limbs felt heavy, like I was tied to a weight pulling me to the ground. I groaned as I tried to move.

"Elizabeth. Wake up. Please." He started murmuring a prayer under his breath.

It felt like hours passed before I could open my eyes. I blinked slowly, allowing my eyes to adjust. It was difficult to see him in the dim light of the moon, but his face was close to mine, his breath fanning across my face.

"Oh, thank God!" He brushed the hair back from my forehead, placing a soft kiss there. "Are you hurt?"

"I don't." My voice was rough. I cleared my throat before continuing, "I don't think so."

"What happened?"

I touched my hand to my head, trying to remember what happened. "I don't know. I was just walking…it went dark. I don't know," I repeated. I was so confused; my thoughts were muddled together. I had no idea how long I had been out.

He did a cursory check of my limbs, presumably to check for any injuries I might be unaware of. Once satisfied that nothing was broken, he slipped one arm behind my back and hooked the other under my knees, lifting me from the ground.

I gasped at the sudden action. "What are you doing?"

"I'm going to help you onto Sergeant, and then we're going to see if Carson is still at the infirmary."

At the mention of Carson, I suddenly remembered the events of the day. I shook my head. "No, Jack. Just take me home." I shifted in his arms until he put my feet on the ground.

He still kept his arm around me, supporting some of my weight. "Elizabeth, you say you're not hurt, but you're bleeding, and you're so cold." He brushed the back of his fingers across my cheek. "You need to see a doctor."

"I'm not hurt. I'm fine. Just take me home, Jack."

"You fainted, Elizabeth. Obviously something is going on, so I'm not just going to take you home."

"Well, if you won't take me home, I'll just walk back myself." I brushed myself off and started back toward home, trying to ignore the pain in my abdomen and the blood dripping down my legs.

"Elizabeth." He walked quickly to catch up to me, leading Sergeant behind him. "Hey." He touched my arm. "Can we talk about why you're being so stubborn about this?"

"I know what's going on, Jack. I'm fine. I saw Carson earlier. I just don't want to talk about it, especially not with anyone in town. I don't need everybody talking about me."

"You have me worried, Elizabeth." He softened his voice. "Please. Tell me what's going on."

"Not right now." I sighed. "Can we ride back, please? I'm tired."

He relented, but insisted on helping me into the saddle. We both sat stiffly, his arms barely brushing against mine as he reached around me to hold the reins. I knew he was upset with me.

Once home, I went straight upstairs to the washroom to get cleaned up.

I filled the tub almost to the top and sank down into the hot water, trying to get the feeling of the horrible evening off of me.

I glanced over at the pile of clothes lying in the middle of the floor, staring at the blood staining the garments. My eyes filled with tears as I thought about the reason why the blood was there, and I sank deeper into the tub.

"Hey." Jack knocked softly before opening the door. "I know you don't want to talk right now, but I'm making some tea and I warmed some muffins."

I met his eyes and burst into tears, my emotions finally spilling out.

"Hey, hey." He knelt beside the tub, pulling me to his chest and stroking my hair. "Shh." He helped me out of the water and wrapped me in a towel, holding me tightly until no more tears would fall.

He dried my cheeks and kissed me softly.

"Let's get you dressed, and then we can get you something to eat."

I nodded and let him lead me from the room.

A few minutes later, he was sitting across from me at the table, his fingers wrapped around a steaming cup of tea. I knew he was itching to know what was going on, but he wasn't going to press me on it.

I picked at the muffin in front of me and took a deep breath. "I lost our baby, Jack."

"What?"

"I lost our baby," I repeated. "We were going to have another baby. Not anymore."

"We were…another baby…" His eyes filled with tears as my words sank in. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I don't know. I was probably going to tell you eventually."

"You should've told me, Elizabeth." He stood up, rubbing the back of his neck. When he met my eyes, I saw nothing but hurt there. "I should've known."

"There was no reason to tell you until I was sure, and I wasn't sure until it was gone. You want another baby so badly, Jack. I couldn't get your hopes up for nothing."

"I just found you unconscious in a puddle of blood, Elizabeth! I thought you were dying! I should've known! I could've helped you!"

"You couldn't have stopped this from happening, Jack."

"No, but I could've been there for you! I could've sat with you while it happened! It was my baby, too. You had no right to keep that from me." His voice had grown cold.

"Jack…" The tears rolled down my cheeks, unrelenting once again.

"I can't talk to you right now." He moved toward the front door, pulling on his jacket. "The girls are with Abigail. I'm going to get them."

I watched the door for a while after it closed behind him, trying to figure out how everything had gone so wrong.

Eventually, I moved up to the bedroom, curling up on top of the quilt.

I had no idea how I still had tears left, but they kept coming. I held my stomach and cried. I cried for me, and for Jack, and for the baby we would never know.

...

It took longer than I expected for Jack to return home. I heard his footsteps on the stairs, but he walked right passed our room. His voice was muffled as he spoke quietly to the girls.

A few minutes later, he finally entered our room.

"Jane's asleep in her room." He lowered Ellie into my arms. "I'll see you in the morning."

"Jack, please."

"I love you, Elizabeth, but I need space right now." He walked out of the room, and I heard a door close down the hall.

I stared at my open door for a while, until Ellie tugged on my nightgown, reminding me that she hadn't nursed in a while.

"Oh, Ellie." I touched her soft little cheek. "I really messed up today."

The day had been long for her, too, and it didn't take but a few minutes before she fell asleep. I put her in the cradle and returned to my bed.

The house was so quiet, the bed so cold.

I always hated sleeping without Jack, but it was worse knowing he was just down the hall.

He was right to be upset. I knew I should've told him about the baby the moment he walked through the door that evening. I knew I shouldn't have left the house when all he wanted was for me to talk to him.

I just wished he was beside me.

After tossing and turning for hours, I finally dragged myself out of the bed and found myself walking down the hall to the guest room. Jack didn't budge when I opened the door. He was lying in the center of the bed, his back to the door.

Wordlessly, I slipped under the covers beside him, sliding my arms around him.

"I should've told you. I'm sorry, Jack."

Part of me expected him to ignore my words and shift away from me, but instead, he rolled over to face me. "I'm sorry, too." He kissed my forehead. "Just sleep now. We'll talk in the morning."

"I love you."

He sighed deeply, his eyes closing. "I love you, too."

...

It was still dark when Jack and I woke the next morning.

"How are you feeling?" He pushed the hair out of my face.

"I'm okay." I propped the pillow up behind me and moved to sit up. "Can we talk now before the girls wake up? I hate when we're upset with each other."

"I hate that, too." He kissed my forehead. "I think it's safe to say we both reacted poorly yesterday."

I nodded in agreement. "I owe you an explanation." I inhaled deeply. "About a week ago, I started suspecting that maybe we had another baby on the way. I was late, and I started feeling more tired than normal, but I wasn't completely positive, so that's why I didn't mention anything to you. And then yesterday, I woke up feeling off, and I started having some pains. I stopped by the infirmary after school, and Carson told me I was losing the baby. I didn't know how to tell you, because I was having trouble processing it all myself. How could I lose a baby I wasn't even sure existed?"

"And I didn't make it any better by walking out when you told me."

"I understand why you did, though. I hurt you."

"You should've told me when you started suspecting there was another baby, and you should've told me what Carson said."

"I know."

"You have no idea how terrified I was when I found you last night. I saw you lying on the ground, so still and covered in blood. I thought I was going to lose you."

"I'm so sorry, Jack. If I could take back everything from yesterday, I would."

"Hey." He cradled my face in his hands. "We both made mistakes yesterday. We can't change what we did. All we can do is promise that we'll try to handle things differently in the future."

"I really don't deserve you, Jack Thornton." I leaned in to kiss him. "Are we okay?"

"Yes. We're okay." He kissed me again. "I love you, Elizabeth."

"I love you, too." I relaxed against his chest, and he wrapped his arms around me.

"Elizabeth? Can you promise me something?"

"Anything."

"Next time you start suspecting we have a baby on the way, don't wait to tell me."

"Okay. I promise."

"Thank you." He tightened his arms around me. "Hey, it's still dark out. We can probably get a little more sleep before the girls are up."

"Let's go back to our room first. Our bed is more comfortable."

...

Jack stayed home with me for the entire day, insisting that I stay in bed and rest. I couldn't bring myself to argue with him; I was exhausted and still feeling some pain, so I welcomed his help with the girls.

He had Carson come by in the afternoon to make sure that I was physically fine after my whole ordeal. After checking me over, Carson cleared me to go back to work on Monday, but he also insisted that I stay in bed and relax for the remainder of the weekend.

We kept the girls close to us all day. There was hardly a moment that they weren't both being held. We didn't speak again about the baby we lost, but I knew that was in the forefront of both of our minds.

Instead of dwelling on my sadness, I tried to keep focused on my blessings. I had Jack with me, a wonderful man and husband and father. We had two beautiful little girls whom we adored. We lived in a community filled with the most caring people I had ever known.

"You look deep in thought. Are you okay?" Jack touched my cheek.

"I'm fine." I sighed contentedly. "I was just thinking that, even with the bad things that have happened, I have a wonderful life. I love you."

He smiled. "I love you, too."