You Only Die Thrice
Ethan and Benny arrived in the basement, courtesy of the zombie-snowmobiler elevator operator.
Ethan gave a momentary thought to how weird and desperate things were, if he was riding down a elevator run by a "zombie-snowmobiler elevator operator". With Benny stuck as a zombie bellboy. And Rory reduced to be an action figure dressed in a copy of his NASA spacesuit.
Ethan was in a suit and tie and briefcase, looking well into his early-twenties due to the five o'clock shadow on his face. Although it was still the early afternoon.
Yes, things were both weird and desperate. But this should be, at long last, the time when he could fight back.
Being in the basement wasn't the greatest feeling, given the hotel shouldn't have been there. It reminded Benny of finding the lucifractor next to the old elevator in the abandoned hotel back in Whitechapel.
But this basement had been preternaturally repaired. The corridor was wide, and laid with a red carpet. Neatly lettered signs pointed left to the back way to the swimming pool, an exit, and the movie theatre. A neatly lettered sign pointed right and advised no admittance, employees only.
"That's the way to the boiler room and laundries, sir" said Benny helpfully.
"We didn't come here to do the laundry" joked Ethan.
"That's funny, sir" said Benny.
The two of them (the three, if you counted Astronaut Rory stashed in the briefcase) walked down the hall, passed several doors and made a left following the sign pointing to the movie theatre. Along this hall were movie posters, as in a modern theatre. Movies like Around the World in Eighty Days were popular that year. So were a few Three Stooges shorts advertized.
Ethan looked towards Forbidden Planet poster, nostalgically remembering watching the movie with Sarah just last summer. The poster itself was a lie, showing a menacing robot carrying a beautiful girl. The robot was a helpful servant of the girl and her father, and not the least bit malicious.
Through the double doors at the end, led to a concession area where a grim teen zombie in a uniform like Benny's stood on guard near the popcorn.
His skin was scalded red in several places.
"Don't let his appearance fool you. He was a good duuuuuude, but he died a hundred years ago in a railroad accident" Benny told Ethan casually. "Soul's long moved on. But I don't know why Mr. Black didn't dig up a girl for the job though."
"Dig up is the right word for it" said Ethan dryly. "Your great-grandfather was a rail conductor, wasn't he?"
Benny nodded.
"No, but Pete here was a fireman. He was the guy shovelling the coal into the engine."
Ethan went to the double doors on the other end of the theatre, and put his ear against it. He heard the movie playing, and, to his surprise, Forbidden Planet was playing. It didn't make sense that Jesse would choose the movie to show Sarah.
"This is the big scene of the movie. Dr. Morbius is sacrificing himself to save his daughter and Commander Adams from the creature of his Id created by the Krell's giant machine" Ethan said quietly, though deep done he wanted to rush in and watch it on the big screen. "Do you think we can go in and confront him?"
"I wouldn't try it, sir" said Benny. "The doors are soundproof . . . to us non were-wolves. But the light from the concession room will shine right in."
"Can you turn off the lights?" Ethan asked the zombie.
The zombie nodded but did nothing else.
"You need to ask him if he will" said Benny deadpan, before adding, "It's easier for you to do it."
"Will you turn off the light!" said Ethan impatiently.
The zombie nodded. But first he pushed a large box of caramel-coated popcorn and root beer into Benny's hands.
"Our caramel corn is made with fresh maple sugar and corn syrup" said the zombie in a rusty monotone.
"Thanks, Pete" said Benny matter-of-factly, clapping his shoulder. "I don't know what else they can do to you, or if you'd even know, but you'd better go."
The zombie nodded, and walked silently away.
"Why don't you have to call him sir?" asked Ethan.
"He's a fellow bellboy" Benny replied.
"Why do you need another bellboy?" Ethan asked incredulously. "There's only two guests in the whole hotel . . . and you can't really call them guests."
"Five, Sir, including you, Sarah and Erica" Benny corrected. "Besides, do you honestly a luxurious resort hotel like the Leeblain would have only one bellboy?"
Ethan looked at Benny incredulously.
Benny struggled with himself a second.
"It hurts me more to be forced to talk like this than for you to listen to me talk like this" Benny admitted. "Sir."
"It's okay . . . Jack" said Ethan, with emphasis.
It seemed as if by calling Benny "Jack" it helped his mental torture the partly-broken spell was putting him through.
Because of their curses, the two boys could see perfectly in the dark. So they made for the door. But before they could enter, a old dial telephone attached to the wall rang.
Ethan growled in surprise. But Benny left the door, and walked straight for the phone.
"Benny!" Ethan exclaimed.
"Jack, sir" Benny corrected. "J-A-C-K, Jack."
"Jack!" said Ethan.
"Movie theatre" said Benny answering the phone. "Jack Weir, Bellboy, speaking."
"Oh, you're back there, aren't you" laughed Stephanie scornfully. "Jack-boy. I knew Jessie wouldn't let you off so easy. Steam-scalded apprentice firemen don't make good stooges. Well, now listen to this geek. I'm telling you, make like you friend Ethan and fetch Jesse over here. I need his advice in preparing the ceremony for tonight, when I sacrifice Erica to the Master. He doesn't see the point in moving up the ceremony, but I won't wait! Tell him that if he helps me with the pentagram today, I might decide to let him leave with Sarah a week early. If he doesn't, I'll send Jesse back to the Master. I know why he's been making his own zombies and tell him it's not going to work."
"Ask her what's not going to work" Ethan told Benny, carefully whispering instead of growling. Ethan had heard every word and his eyes were blazing yellow.
"I don't know, ma'am, what you're talking about?" said Benny obediently.
"Zombies are such idiots" said Stephanie. "Jesse wants control wherever he is. He's not going to take over my hotel, and he'll serve me. And Jesse knows he can steal Rory Ransom Keener's life, but he can't get himself turned into a vampire again to prolong his miserable life. He can't make himself a vampire by putting a curse on someone else's life and soul. No matter how creative that two-time loser tries to get. Remind him he's died twice already. Better yet, just send him to me and I'll give him a piece of mind."
"A piece of your mind, ma'am? Do you have any to spare, ma'am?" asked Benny in an extremely polite voice.
"Tell him" said Stephanie angrily.
She hung up.
"I thought you couldn't insult guests?" Ethan asked curiously.
"She left an opening you could fly the death star through" Benny pointed out. "And I was polite about it. So . . . Asking that question, sir, made up for a lot."
"Jesse would have been suspicious" said Ethan musingly. "Stephanie . . . probably not so much."
"There's a reason why Jesse was your nemesis, sir" said Benny. "And not Hottie Ho-tep, no matter what you might have thought of him."
But what it did mean that Rory would have to wait until Jesse went to Stephanie and returned. They couldn't risk alerting Stephanie and facing the two villains at the same time. It also meant Ethan had to wait a half-minute for his glow-in-the-dark yellow eyes to return to their normal deep brown.
Benny, still carrying the popcorn and root beer, walked down the central aisle.
Forbidden Planet was just ending. Commander Adams, played by Leslie Neilson, had taken Altaira (Ann Blyth), Dr. Morbius' daughter away in his Earthbound flying saucer. He had also taken the robot along for good measure. The lot of them, with the surviving crew of the spaceship, watched the planet blow up.
"About a million years from now the human race would have crawled up to where the Krell stood in their great moment of triumph and tragedy" intoned Leslie Neilson. "And your fathers' name will shine again like a beacon in galaxy. It's true It will remind us that we are, after all, not God..."
"What do you think you're doing here, geek!" interrupted Jesse, who was furious at seeing Benny and even angrier with the movie's final piece of dialogue.
Jesse was no more angry than Ethan (and Benny himself on Ethan's behalf), to see that Jesse had managed to get his arm around Sarah.
Ethan had to cover his mouth to suffocate the angry growl he knew he couldn't stop. Embarrassingly enough, he chewed on the theatre seat he was hiding behind. It was either that, or let Jesse know he was there and human again.
"I thought I'd take you some refreshments, sir" said Benny to Jesse in a voice so polite and docile it was painful for any pal of Benny's to hear. "I also come bearing a message from Stephanie."
"She needs help with the sacrifice, doesn't she?" asked Jesse insolently, as the brief end-credits of the movie played over its weird-electronic theme music.
"Yes" said Benny. Benny gave Jesse the message, which Jesse listened to in amusement.
"Works for me, bellboy" Jesse said casually, but then looked at Benny and Sarah with an ugly leer. "But before I go, what do you think if I told you I managed to bag that werewolf I was hunting. Seven feet and vicious. I gave it slugs with both barrels. A shotgun is the only way to hunt werewolf."
Ethan chewed furiously on the seat.
"Good job, sir" said Benny hollowly.
Jesse looked at Benny . . . it was unnatural in an obedient zombie bellboy.
"Good riddance" said Sarah in what Ethan could tell was an unnaturally subdued voice. "I hate werewolves. But . . . wasn't it once human."
"Not a human you'd like" bragged Jesse. "Don't worry about it. Just try to remember when we first watched this movie together last summer?"
"I . . . don't know" said Sarah honestly. "It was only today you helped me get my memory back. I knew I was going to meet you here at the hotel, but the blow I had in the train accident gave me amnesia. All I can remember is watching the movie with a black-haired boy. Sci-fi isn't really my thing, but it was watching the movie with you made all the difference."
Benny couldn't find his voice to say what he thought. The bellboy spell worked against it. But he shook his head warningly in Ethan's generally direction.
It drove Ethan crazy! Jesse was pretending to be Ethan so he could put his moves on Sarah! Stealing Ethan's time with Sarah, his words, the time the two spent together . . . working on Sarah's half-stolen memory.
A two-hundred and fifty year old guy, who had willingly (and with the full knowledge of what it meant) given his life to be a bloodsucker. Here Jesse was, stealing Rory's recovered life force and stealing Ethan's place, reducing Benny to acting like a polite, boot-licking automaton. Exactly, like the polite robot on Forbidden Planet!
Then again, Sarah most of all! And Ethan could guess what Jesse's endgame with Sarah would be.
If steam could come from Ethan's ears it would. Ethan held the chair he was hiding behind (and chewing) in an iron grip. It was all he could do to stop from tearing apart (or trying to tear apart) Jesse. Ethan was vaguely aware that from behind his hand, the yellow glowing in his eyes was as strong as the Challenger's headlights.
But if he tried, Ethan realized he wouldn't even leave the room as a human being. Ethan also belatedly realized that tearing apart Jesse wasn't part of his plan, or even in his
"Everything will come back" said Jesse soothingly. "If not here, when we go back to Whitechapel. But how about a kiss for now."
He leant in, and so did Sarah.
"Something doesn't seem right" she said.
"It's just your memory" said Jesse. "How about . . . ."
He was interrupted by the next film. Very loudly, the strains of Three Blind Mice played on the loudspeakers. Moe, Larry and Shemp, starring in Rumpus in the Harem, stopped all romance.
"You actually think The Three Stooges are romantic?" asked Sarah accusatorial.
"It's the newest one" said Benny.
"It's just the idiots working here" said Jesse, irritably. "I'll deal with the projectionist when I get back. Until later!"
"Bye, Jesse" said Sarah, pronouncing the name "Jess".
Jesse jauntily left the theatre, none too soon to Ethan's thinking.
Ethan spat out the cotton padding in his mouth, and rushed to Sarah and Benny.
"Do you remember me, Sarah!" he asked impulsively.
Sarah looked at him.
"Maybe" she answered, non-committal.
"Can you believe what he's done to Sarah now!" spat Ethan.
"Can you believe what they've done to me, sir . . . Jack the Bellboy" said Benny.
"You look familiar" said Sarah. "But what's with your eyes."
The yellow faded instantly from Ethan's eyes.
"I remember your eyes" said Sarah. "Deep Brown. But once in a while they glowed. Not yellow, but bright white."
"OW!" interrupted Shemp, as Moe poked him in the eyes with his fingers.
"And I have black hair" said Ethan, pulling it to point it out. "I'm the black-haired boy you watched Forbidden Planet with. Not because you're normally a sci-fi fan, but because we . . . liked to do awesome stuff together."
Ethan ended a sad note.
"I don't know" Sarah answered. "I'm sure the guy I dated didn't have five o'clock shadow."
"Well" tried Ethan.
It came to Ethan's mind an old saying. The best defence was a good offence.
He impulsively kissed Sarah.
"You kiss better than Jesse" said Sarah, after a moment.
"I do? But do you remember?" asked Ethan with anticipation.
"No" said Sarah bluntly.
Sarah looked at the Three Stooges, who for reasons she couldn't follow, had arrived at a Middle Eastern Palace dressed as three Santa Clauses. Sarah decided she wasn't interested and stood up.
"This isn't a fairy tale, sir and madam" said Benny. "Caramel popcorn sir? Root beer, ma'am?"
"Can you put that stuff down?" said Ethan impatiently, taking the popcorn and root beer out of Benny's outstretched hands. He was going to put it down, but as Sarah as stood up, he spilled the root beer and popcorn all over her.
"YOU GEEK!" said Sarah furiously.
"I-I" stuttered Ethan.
"Ethan!" said Sarah, and her tone changed from anger to amusement. "It makes . . . perfect sense!"
She laughed, hugged him. Then laughed some more. Ethan joined in, but Benny was forced to freeze in another salute.
"I spend all my time with you and the other stooges" Sarah observed. "How did you get back?"
Some fifteen minutes later, The Three Stooges had been replaced by the beginning of Around The World in Eighty Days. That began with the long-dead newsman Edward R. Murrow discussing the movie and introducing an old silent short based on Verne's The Earth to the Moon.
Sarah was to all appearances sitting by herself when Jesse returned. She had wiped off the sticky caramel corn and root beer.
"I was hoping you would return to me" Sarah said sweetly. "I can tell this will be a much more romantic movie."
"Maybe a bit lame for us" said Jesse, "but romantic. You know, I'd really like you to watch a vampire picture with me. But a long movie like this, it gives us some time to get close."
Jesse put an arm around Sarah. Sarah took his arm and flung Jesse down into the aisle, and put her foot atop his chest, pinning him down so he could hardly breathe.
To Jesse's surprise, Benny and Ethan appeared.
"Canis . . . ." started Jesse.
Ethan dropped to his knees, and stuffed a wad of paper napkins over Jesse's mouth.
"Not this time" said Sarah warningly. "Ethan stays human."
Jesse looked, with dreadful apprehension, as Sarah held the Astronaut Rory action figure and made to unfasten its arm.
"If you want to fight Stephanie, you'd want me instead of him" Jesse struggled to say, as Ethan released the napkins just long enough to let him speak.
"It's not your life to live, Jesse" said Sarah in a serious tone. "It's Rory's. Even if you weren't what you are, it's still his life we're giving it back to him."
"You've died twice already, sir" said Benny calmly. "At the Westdale Theatre, and at the Vampire Headquarters on Lucifractor night. Now comes the third time."
When Astronaut Rory's arm was taken off, and placed on a theatre seat . . . nothing happened. Benny and Sarah weren't seers, and Ethan's gift was blocked by the powerful curse placed upon him.
But, a few seconds later Jesse dissolved into a dull black smoke and disappeared entirely. Ethan, Benny nor Sarah knew it, but it was his blackened soul.
Had Ethan been looking at the time, he could have seen it before - it leached up from the ground when Ethan made the fateful decision to dig up the cubile animus as a means to de-possess Sarah.
"Whoa, this is dumb!" said Rory. He removed his astronaut helmet and looked at the screen. "There's no people on the moon! And they don't pop when you poke them with an umbrella! Who made this?"
Edward R. Murrow was narrating the wacky old sci-fi visit to the moon, from a silent film made in 1902.
"Dude" said Ethan, " High five."
Rory gave Ethan and Sarah high fives. Benny received his handshakes.
Then, as Rory took off his astronaut outfit (his lumberjack outfit was still underneath), he was brought up to date.
"Do you remember anything?" asked Sarah.
"No" said Rory. "Except . . . no, but it was like I was asleep. That rocket blasting off is cool, but the guy's boring!"
Ethan wasn't much interested in Edward R. Murrow either. Ethan was even uninterested in the multi-stage nineteen-fifties' rocket blasting off into orbit. He walked down to the bottom of the theatre just before the screen.
"No!" he heard Jesse's voice, far away and getting fainter. "No!"
All at once it was cut off. And Ethan was sure that at that moment he smelt the stench of rotten eggs.
Author's Note
The name of this chapter is a pun on the title of the James Bond film You Only Live Twice.
