Two sides of a coin
A quarter of an hour later Remus was still dragging Tonks through the undergrowth. Although it had been long since they left the glow of the campfire behind, he didn't think of slowing down his pace.
Phillinew and Mona followed them. He kept stressing that this was the wrong way, she remained silent.
At some point Remus stopped breathing heavily and let go of Tonks. She just rubbed her wrist and gave him a reproachful look, which he didn't seem to notice. Absent, he stared up into the cloudy sky and obviously tried hard to calm down.
When Phillinew raised his voice again to show them the right way, Remus immediately snapped at him: "Couldn't you have told us that he was coming today?
Phillinew didn't seem too impressed. He just raised his shoulders indifferently, as if none of this was his concern. "Well, I would have if I'd known. Last time, I swear to you, there were only wizards. Who'd expect to see such werewolf nobility at the second meeting? You got lucky, Mona!"
As she lowered her head and nodded uncertainly, Remus' face turned red with rage. "Werewolf nobility!" He spat the word in disgust. "It wouldn't have taken much and this 'nobility' would've eaten Tonks for breakfast. Anyone who cooperates with such creatures must be insane!"
"Tonks?" Mona asked softly. With a mixture of suspicion and surprise she looked at Remus and then turned to Tonks. "Isn't your name Doreen?"
Tonks nodded violently. "Yes, of course it is. Tonks is just his nickname for me, isn't it?" She gave Remus a threatening look.
He should get a hold of himself already. This was the second time he had gotten them into trouble that night. He completely overreacted and so he didn't think through what he was saying.
"And besides, I'd like to see Greyback trying to make me let myself being eaten without resistance! I could have dealt with that," she added resolutely, but not without giving Phillinew a very grateful look. "But since you helped us, I was fortunate enough not to have to take such drastic measures." In the dark she stepped on Remus' foot, who then muttered a quiet thank you as well.
Phillinew waved him off. "Not for that. Tell me how you liked the ideas, except for this little incident." He seemed quite eager to hear their opinions.
Remus took a deep breath to calm himself down. He gave Tonks a questioning look, obviously indecisive as to whether or not they should continue to feign interest in the Death Eaters' endavours. Tonks just turned her head away. Remus did what he wanted after all, why start a fight?
"We... were impressed," he finally said very vaguely. "But I think To- I mean, Doreen didn't like it too much, did you?"
Phillinew nodded understandingly. "Yes, I can imagine that speech didn't sound very pleasant for witches. But I assure you, Greyback is one of the radicals. The way he would like it all to be, it will never come. Last time there was another guy there who told us the Dark Lord was above all interested in improving the relationship between wizards and werewolves. Neither species is to be superior or inferior to the other. With the exception of half-bloods and mudbloods, of course," he added as a matter of course.
Tonks flinched when she heard how carelessly he brought the insult across his lips. Mona seemed not surprised but displeased with his words.
Remus just stared at him in disgust before he finally lost his temper. He grabbed Phillinew by the collar and shook him violently while screaming in his face: "Stop it, that makes me sick! How can you support such a thing? How can anyone support such ideas? Wake up and-"
"REMUS! Stop it!" With all her might, Tonks pulled her friend away from Phillinew, who gasped for breath with a mixture of anger and surprise on his face and reached for his magic wand. Tonks immediately disarmed him without thinking. She now turned her wand against Phillinew and Mona, who was hiding anxiously behind his back.
"We don't want trouble," she said as calmly as possible.
Phillinew pulled his jacket up with painstakingly controlled tension. "It looks like it," he whispered menacingly. "Who are you really, 'Doreen'? Friends of our cause, supporters of the Dark Lord? You don't think I'll take that off your hands any longer, do you?"
Tonks took a few steps back and dragged Remus with her, while she panicked and thought about what she could do to save the situation. She bent over to pick up Phillinew's wand without letting him out of her sight and held it out to its owner conciliatorily. "This is nonsense. We didn't lie to you. I'm sorry, Phil. Remus overreacted..."
Phillinew just grabbed his wand without a word. His grim look was no good. But before anything worse could happen, Mona, of all people, intervened. She whispered something to Phillinew that neither Tonks nor Remus could understand. Her words didn't seem to soothe Phillinew, but he still let his magic wand sink. "Get the hell out of here," he thrust out between his teeth. "And never come to any of our meetings again. It's bad enough when the wizards keep stabbing us in the back, but from one of us," he threw a disgusted look at Remus, "I wouldn't have expected that.
Tonks exhaled in relief. Without waiting for Remus to throw another tantrum, she took him by the hand and disapparated.
She had no particular goal in mind as she pulled Remus into the black vortex where space and time were meaningless.
A deep desire for security had determined her thinking, so she was not surprised when they landed in her little room in the Ddraig Goch. Remus bumped his head on the sloped ceiling as soon as he straightened up.
Served him right! Tonks was so terribly angry with him. When he reached for her, she pushed him away. "What the hell's gotten into you? You've ruined everything. Everything. We can basically pack our bags. Our work here is done. How are these people supposed to join Dumbledore when his ambassadors threaten them like that?" She started pacing up and down in a rant while Remus, who had sunk to the bed, watched her. "I should have done the job better myself. At least then I wouldn't have had to fear a certain gentleman betraying me with his temperament. What was I thinking? That was absolutely stupid of me! We can't be partners if you don't care about our arrangements and constantly lose your temper!"
Remus shook his head and buried his face in his hands. "I know, I know. And I'm terribly sorry. I just... I don't know what I was trying to achieve. Maybe some kind of insight..."
Without reacting to his words, Tonks kept on talking: "How can I trust you if you lose your head in stressful situations? I can't rely on you like this. If you're too proud or too idealistic to keep up you cover, you could have said so before we left."
Now Remus stood up, his face again showing anger and bitterness. "I couldn't take it anymore! What's the point of just watching them, whom does it serve? We have to give these people a chance to overthink their actions!"
"People like Greyback? They don't deserve a chance. You heard Phillinew and the others, they're all completely lost to You-know-who. No wonder when they are isolated from the rest of the magical community so early on. That Mona-girl was no older than twenty years!"
Remus' eyes flashed dangerously. "No one chooses this fate!"
"I'm not saying that! But nowadays, when there are ways to protect yourself and others from the disease, I don't understand how anyone can be so irresponsible. Mona's life is over! In this pack she has no chance to change her mind!"
"That's not true, you can still change. The transformation doesn't stop your intellectual development!"
"That's not what I meant...," Tonks murmured.
"Yes, that's exactly what you mean! But under the right influences, anyone can change."
"You can't know that!" Tonks hurled it at him. She understood Remus' will to believe in the good in people. But to place high hopes in the re-education of a horde of socially isolated werewolves was utopian.
Remus paused for a moment before slowly saying, "Yes I can. I'm the best example of that... I was bitten at seven." He stood up, a strange bitter smile on his lips. "It's funny... A boy, a werewolf, feared even by his parents, at a time when the wolfbane did not exist yet, develops, grows, makes friends and joins the Order of the Phoenix despite everything. Do you know who made this possible for him, who never lost hope, who believed in him even though no one else did?"
Tonks looked down. The answer was obvious. "Dumbledore." She felt terrible. She had believed Mona was young for a werewolf, not knowing that Remus had met this fate as a child. "So, what do you suggest? What should we do now?", she asked after a break.
Remus looked at her. The depressed expression disappeared from his face and Tonks felt warmth rising within her when she saw his shining eyes. "Really? You still want to work with me?"
Reluctantly, Tonks shrugged. "What choice do I have? Everybody makes mistakes, I guess, and apparently you have your reasons for doing whatever it is you do."
Remus stepped closer to her. Intently he began explaining his plans: "We need to run a contrast program. Nothing big... just to show the pack that there's an alternative to Voldemort, that there's more. To do this, we would have to develop and improve our relationships with individual werewolves."
"But we must also remember why Mad-Eye sent me here," Tonks added.
Remus frowned anxiously. "You're right, I'd forgotten about that. To realize our plans, we almost need an additional member of the order. Perhaps I'll contact Mad-Eye and ask him for support."
Tonks didn't like the idea of asking for help much, but she agreed with him. Now that they had settled their argument for the time being, Tonks felt how tired she was. She had had a strenuous week, her limbs were heavy as lead, and her thoughts were gradually going in circles. "Listen, can we think about this tomorrow? I am so ...", Tonks had to yawn, which impressively underlined her point.
Remus, who had been standing at the window in absentia, looked at her. It seemed to take him a few seconds to process what Tonks had said, and another moment before he realized that her going to bed demanded his absence. "I'm sorry, you must be very tired. Good night, I'll... see you tomorrow." He left the room taking long steps and carefully closing the door behind him.
"See you tomorrow," Tonks muttered after he had already disappeared. She curled up on her blanket and fell asleep immediately.
