It was their birthday. Their first birthday together- they had met after their sixteenth and Percy had been missing for their seventeenth. Louisa blamed him either way, claimed he owed her a lifetime of birthday presents.
"What about me?" He asked. "You should give me presents too."
"Nah."
"Why not?"
"Younger siblings don't give presents."
"Tyson gives me presents."
"Then go ask Tyson."
"I think I will."
"Oh, shush!" Sally butted in. She had been so excited and rather emotional about today. She had made them breakfast- all blue- and had held onto them for what felt like an eternity. "My babies, my babies." She sniffed. Percy didn't mind, returning the embrace. Louisa, being a foot shorter than him, did mind, as she was being strangled.
"Mam." She wheezed, tapping Sally's arm. "Dyin'."
"Sssh, no you're not." Sally shook her head. Percy snickered, which dealt him an elbow to the ribs. "Behave." Sally chided. She held them at arm's length, the waterworks threatening to restart. "Right." She said. "Go away."
"Rude."
"She's throwing us a surprise party and needs us out of the way." Percy translated. Sally scoffed.
"Nonsense!" She denied theatrically. "Too many demigods! You two can eat through a house alone, can you imagine how much food I'd need?"
"Mom's more of a problem than demigods." Louisa pointed out. Sally said nothing on the matter, but her face spoke for her.
Percy gripped his sister's shoulders, turning her around.
"We'll be back for dinner." He said, kissing his mother's cheek.
"Be good." Sally warned. Louisa narrowed her eyes.
"Why ya only lookin' at me?"
"I wasn't."
"Liar."
"Percy-"
"I'll keep an eye on her."
"Thank you."
"I'm right here."
"And now we're leaving!" Percy laughed. "Bye Mom!" He grinned, steering Louisa out.
They had a few hours to kill. Percy suggested a number of ideas- cinema, bowling, shopping, lunch- the usual stuff.
Louisa came up with something… more her speed.
And that is how Percy found himself at the bottom of the ocean, investigated by the lifeforms that dwelt there, both monstrous and not, besides a lunatic with no moral decency. He even told her that.
"You have no moral decency."
"So? This is so much fun!"
"What if you get caught?"
"Bitch please. This is my turf."
"There's no talking you out of this, is there?"
"Nope!"
"I wanted to go bowling." He grumbled. She shushed him. It was pitch black down here, but they could see via currents. Percy could only think to describe it as echolocation with the water itself. With it, they could see Louisa's up and coming prank target- a US Military submarine.
She assured him she had done this many times and it never got old. He was not assured in any way shape or form and decided to hang back. He could see why the trick appealed to her and on one level, it amused him. On the other level, he was big brother and had to keep her out of trouble. He said as much to her, to which she only laughed.
"Bro, bro. There ain't no keepin' me out of trouble. People have tried 'n' failed thousands of times."
"Not even Reyna?" He jibed, smirking. Louisa pretended not to hear him, watching the submarine close in. Once it was in within twenty feet of them, she grinned maniacally and launched herself over the rock they had used as cover. Percy watched for a minute, exasperating. Louisa flitted about the submarine, using the water to her advantage and speeding around it. She knocked on windows, stomped her feet on the hatch, pressed her face to the glass and called them all dicks. "Lou!" Percy hissed. "They're the military!"
"It's just another branch of the government bein' assholes. These people shouldn't have ta fight for some rich mothershitter."
"That's still not a word."
"Yes it is. Trademark Lou." She nodded seriously, lounging on top of the craft. She drummed her fists on the metal, humming to herself. Percy sighed, swimming over with the intention to stop her.
Instead, he locked eyes with a face in the window. He swore. Louisa cackled delightedly, rolling over and hanging upside down to blow a raspberry at the man inside. She could see him scream and fall away in terror, saw his shadow scrambling away. Percy swam up, grabbing her ankle and pulling her back out of sight.
"You're a menace to society."
"Thank you."
"How long have you been doing this?"
"Since I found out I could come down here. Ain't it great?"
"No, no it is not."
"Aww, don't get ya panties in a bunch, bro. This is hilarious. They go back with ghost stories, I love it. If I die, I'm comin' back as a poltergeist."
"If you die?"
"Did I stutter?"
"Oh my gods." Percy put his head in his hands. "I always wanted a little sister, but you are too much." She snorted, using his shoulder as leverage to hop over him and land on the hatch. "Don't you dare open it."
"I ain't gonna kill 'em. The government does that well enough on its own."
"Lou…"
"Bro, if you ever sign up ta the military, ya'll gonna have ta fight me."
"Being a demigod is exhausting enough, thank you." He frowned. "Do you really hate the military?"
"I hate the government." She shrugged. "One day, I'll get ta the White House 'n' kick some ass."
"Why haven't you already?"
"Been busy kickin' ass elsewhere."
"Or haunting submarines."
"Yeah, that too." She grinned, stomping her feet on the hatch again. She swung her hands down, the currents swirled and butted the front of the machine. The nose dipped down. Throwing her hands up, she tipped the nose up. At Percy's glower, she rolled her eyes and resumed making faces in the windows, racing around the sub and picking portholes at random.
The submarine's turbine whirred. Percy reached down and grabbed her by the arm. He shoved down with his hand and the water whisked them upwards. The submarine continued on its way, speeding somewhat.
"Why?"
"Why what?"
"Why are you like this?"
"Be more specific."
"I literally can't."
"Ya love me." She smiled sweetly. Percy hummed dubiously, keeping her tucked under his arm. She poked his cheek, snickering. "Ya wouldn't be so pouty if ya'd joined in. My favourite ones are the drones they send down. That gets people up top. Also, I may or may not have accidentally started a forbidden romance between a squid 'n' a drone."
"Do I want to know?" Percy sighed. She scoffed with disbelief.
"Obviously. Ugh, who wouldn't? Piper thought it was great."
"You can't use Piper as an example."
"Why not?"
"Because you confuse her."
"Piper loves me."
"You think very highly of yourself."
"I have every right ta think highly of myself. I'm awesome."
"You haunt submarines."
"C'mon, bro. There's gotta be some perks ta this Big Three shit. Hauntin' subs is one of 'em."
"I don't think 'menace' is a strong enough word for you."
"Aww, thanks! Go left."
"Why?"
"There's a mermaid over there that owes me."
"Owes you what? No, nope, I don't want to know. We are going bowling."
"Ugh, you're so borin'."
"Mom told me to keep you out of trouble."
"Alright, fine. But if I kill someone with a bowlin' ball, it's on you, bro."
