I woke up to my phone ringing. It was June 8th and Alex hadn't said a word about my birthday. I was pissed as I woke up to no sign that Alex had been anywhere nearby in hours. I know we had fallen asleep cuddling but where was she now? Where was our son? The house was quiet and there was no coffee or note on my bedstand table. I know things had been stressful lately and I was looking about as attractive as a hippo in a tutu but that still didn't explain why she had been spending so much time on the phone when she wasn't on the computer these days. I was a month from having my wife's babies and she didn't love me anymore. Where did that leave me? Our son? I was abruptly rocketed out of my irrationality by the ringing turning into the ding of a text message.

Nicky: Get your preggo ass up, I'm leaving Queens and coming to pick you up

Piper: Where's Alex?

Nicky: Good to know I'm loved. I know but I also like the present location of my ovaries…useless as they are…I've been instructed to take you to breakfast and not let you come home until 11:45…that's all I can tell ya, sry

Piper: I hate mine right now

Nicky: OV, wouldn't it be your uterus that you want to be freed of…didn't think your ovaries had anything to do with it unless Vause's cock really is that good

Piper: Wish it were

Nicky: Glad it's not

Piper: And that's why I'm her wife¬ u

Nicky: That and you're a kinky little shit who only looks sweet and innocent…now get your ass ready and stop being Piper

Piper: How can I stop being myself

Nicky: How does Boss put up with you?

Piper: See your earlier text concerning me being a freak in the sheets and the perfect doctor's wife everywhere else

Nicky just messaged a rolled eyes emoji and the texts quieted down so I decided to see how quickly I could shower and attempt to get into clothes that weren't completely uncomfortable and didn't show more of my belly then they covered. I tried to wear shorts and a tank top but failed and rolled my eyes as I once again grabbed the wrap dress that I didn't really like wearing but it fit better than the oversized men's shirts and sometimes panties but always cotton boxers when Geo was running around. I was just finishing getting ready when the doorbell rang.

"Hey, asshole. Boss said I would have to help you into your glass slippers so what are you wearing for shoes these days OV?"

"Usually slippers but since I have to be presentable, flip flops."

"Fuck it, Piper. You wanna wear slippers you wear slippers. You're carrying my little nieces and making Vause into a kinder, gentler creature, wear what you want. I'll still go out in public with you. Just not that BBQ sauce stained t-shirt you've taken to wearing. Did you have to come into the room during our videoconference call?"

"It was just you and I needed some sugar."

"I don't know about your queendom, but in mine, we keep the sugar in the pantry, not the office."

"I didn't want that kind."

"Boss is a lot of things, sugar ain't one."

"My Alex is all syrupy sweetness."

"Yeah, that's why more than once I've walked into Vause's office at work only to be greeted by her cum face and no Piper to be seen."

"I miss being able to do that. I miss how she tastes."

"I'll give you that. Me too and that woman is a never-ending fountain who won't admit how much she likes to get her pussy licked. But don't tell Lorna. She doesn't get it like we do."

"C'mon, Nicky, that's why you don't date straight girls willing to make an exception."

"Okay, come along now, ya big lesbo. You marry the queen and all of a sudden you're an expert on lesbianism. We're on a schedule."

"I'm not a lesbian! I'm not!"

"Round and round we go where we stop everybody knows it's when Piper sees Alex and Stretch breathes in the vicinity."

"You know she hates that and by extension I hate it."

"Lezzie Sasquatch?"

"That's worse and you know it. If you wouldn't say it in front of her don't say it in front of her wife!"

"Boss really has you under her spell, doesn't she?"

"Yup. I mean you know how she is."

"I do. I loved her first but gave you to her cause I knew you were everything she's ever wanted. Now let's go."

We went to a local café where we spent nearly an hour talking and laughing about every subject but Alex before she told me the other thing she had been ordered to do, buy me a new party dress and it was pretty clear once we got into the store that Alex had given her very specific instructions.

She insisted on a teal dress with pink flowers and hints of mustard yellow and a surprisingly comfortable pair of gold sandals, just like the saleslady had told me they would be. I found a couple of other tops I liked and some lightweight grey lounge pants for after I had the twins then we paid and after Nicky made a quick call, presumably asking Alex if it was okay that she brought me home judging by how many times she said "Okay, Vause," and "I got her here, no she's not pissed at you. Well anymore. I soothed it over," followed by, "Yeah I know you do, I'll have your girl home soon, Boss." She ended the call and then motioned to me, "Well, c'mon I promised Boss to get you home and only you can get away with not doing as you're told. The rest of us peasants have to kneel before the queen, including me."

"You're just jealous."

"Yeah seeing you waddling around is making me real fuckin' jealous of your life. You want all this, I know right now you'd give it to the lowest bidder but this is everything you said you wanted when you sat in my office that day. Love and stability for you and your son. To live your life in the open and be truthful, find someone who loves that person and in some surreal alternative universe that person ended up being Alex. I still can't believe it but you both deserve every bit of this," she pressed her hands into my bump, she was one of the three people allowed to do that but never did. She usually made a face like a kid who had just been tricked into eating "green popcorn" or told those trees with her dinosaur chicken nuggets were broccoli but at that moment she was every bit the sister I never knew I wanted.

Moments later I walked into the house but Alex was still nowhere to be found, however, it looked like she had invited people over. Were we having a party? That was the last thing I wanted. I felt fat and exhausted. I didn't want anyone to see me like this. Why hadn't she told me? Dumbass, it's June 8th and she yet again used Nicky to run interference. The new dress, the party is for you. She didn't forget, she just wanted you to think she did.

"Earth to Piper. I'm starting to think Nicky was wrong and you are mad at me," a husky, concerned voice teased as I finally felt hands touching my arm. I looked up and saw Alex in the most beautiful skin-tight teal silk dress complete with a plunging neckline complete with strappy gold wedges.

"Wow. I wasn't until I saw you in that dress when I'm already sexually frustrated," I responded as I ran my hand down her middle and she smiled then her lip began to tremble, "You aren't making this any better."

"What? I'm not doing anything," Alex teased as she twisted a ringlet of my hair in her fingers.

"You're doing your lip thing," I told her as I felt the burning run from her fingertips on my hair, along my spine, and to my center.

"I do not do a lip thing, you do a lip thing," Alex asserted.

"What are you girls arguing about while I'm out here taking care of your guests? Hi, baby. Does she know about project Bohemian Rhapsody," Diane asked Alex as she walked into the entryway with a bottle of white wine. Now both Vause women were making my mouth water, thanks universe.

"I was getting there, mother!"

"Don't give me that! And it looks like you were arguing about silliness, like always."

"Would one of you two like to explain to me what's going on here, other than tag-teaming to taunt me with the things I crave the most right now," I asked as I experienced every emotion between rage and unexplainable sadness. I quickly felt Alex pull me close and her fingers in my hair. "I…I…you…you…gun. Ruin. Dress."

"Lucky for me, Piper tears are so in season this year. As a matter of fact, they're the newest timeless look," Alex whispered in my ear as she kissed my earlobe sweetly.

"According to whom?"

"Would you believe Vogue," Alex bellowed against my ear and I could feel her belly rumbling and now so too could our daughters who perked up to their mother's presence against them.

"I'd believe some five-letter word starting with V, declared that fashion trend but I don't think it was Vogue."

"There's my girl. I love when you're feisty," Alex teased before biting my earlobe and nearly making me orgasm as I tried to channel every lingering bit of anger so I wouldn't fuck her against doctor's orders in front of Diane.

"Too much, baby. Too much," I responded as I slapped her ass.

"Okay my precious children, your precious children do not need to hear that. I doubt you want to do anything to risk sharing your birthday, Piper," Diane exclaimed as she noticed how intensely passionate things were rapidly becoming between us, "Keep it G-rated kids."

"But we're a queer couple, nothing we do is G-rated. Our very existence doing normal shit is automatically PG-13."

"Okay, G-rated in an alternate universe where people aren't so wrapped up in trying to figure out what two girls do in the bedroom, why must I have nothing but children who are too smart for their own damn good?"

"Just lucky, I guess," she told her mom before spinning me in her arms and kissing the back of my neck, "Let's get you changed and get some makeup on that already perfect face of yours."

"For what?"

"Your surprise baby shower/birthday party. But, shhh. You aren't supposed to know until you get outside. The baby shower was Jess' idea."

"Yeah, she was over having dinner one night and we were talking about how much I loved becoming an instant grandmother to a toddler and now being involved with your pregnancy, Piper, but that I felt I missed out on giving my daughter the baby shower I always dreamed about. My friends didn't have much but they made sure I had a baby shower with a supermarket cake, store brand soda and presents when I was pregnant with Alex and still on the fence about whether I could raise her. They knew that and they knew I so badly wanted to be able to provide for her enough to keep her and give her a reasonably okay life. So when they told me I had a daughter I resolved that one day I would give that love back and it's kinda amazing to see the chosen family my daughter has created surrounding her and encouraging her not to listen to the people who say she shouldn't be a mother or that she's less of one for any reason. It was Alex's idea to host it at the house, so Piper would be comfortable and no matter what the show would go on. The birthday party is all Alex and I want no part in whatever debauchery you two will still manage, even in your present state."

"It's that kind of party, babe," I asked Alex as my eyes widened with excitement.

"Figured it would be a good time to christen the pool and maybe I've heard you talk about how much you loved your adolescent lesbian pool parties when you were a closeted little baby queer and figured it was time you have one as an out and proud queer woman."

"That would be sweet, that is, if I believed it."

"It's the truth."

"So you have no desire to see a bunch of hot chicks in bikinis when the woman in your bed is neither looking very sexy nor is she able to fulfill your needs."

"Seeing a hot chick in a bikini has something to do with it but it's just you," she told me sweetly as she kissed my nose, "Let's get you ready before my mother in law comes and finds us. She's already been full of opinions about all this."

"Carol's here?"

"Yeah. She thinks it's a celebration of promiscuity. She thinks this party is disrespectful to our son. And she thinks that I'm the one throwing it, I wasn't going to. Not because I didn't want to but because that disrespects us as equal mothers."

"What did you do?"

"Reminded her that you may always be her daughter but now you're having mine and I'm the one making sure her daughter and grandson are fed, clothed and have a roof over their heads. You're a married woman, she's in my house, I make the rules. You're no longer her responsibility, you're mine. And I reminded her that I'm the one convincing you and Geo to go to Carol and Bill's house when neither of you want to and keep the peace, that it would be so easy to just stop defending her and just not go. She got all pissy after that but she doesn't have your natural-born ability to be unaffected by the Vause female gaze so that didn't last long."

"You are amazing," I responded in a breathy tone as I melted into her body.

"I can't wait to show you the cake. It's coconut with raspberry filling and everything's edible. I know what you think about inedible stuff on baked goods. Even the flowers are edible," Alex bragged as she gave me a quick lower back massage.

"There's flowers," I asked in a cheery tone.

"Of course there are. You know how I feel about you and flowers. I didn't use to get the whole compare my lover to a rose bullshit, then I met you and that was the only thing that could evoke the beauty, magic, and joy you bring into my monochrome world. Are you ready to see what we put together for you? Greet your guests?"

"They aren't going to play any stupid games, are they? I hated the baby shower Polly threw me for that," I explained as if I thought I actually had to.

"No safety pins and as a psychiatrist and women's health practitioner, I am extremely opposed to the measure the belly game. Although Nicky wanted the chocolate bar one, sorry. There's a celebrity twins game where you have to decide if a celebrity is a twin or has a set, baby picture identification game where we put all the pictures into the same filter so it wouldn't be too obvious and a few word games. Everybody's started a guessing game for the babies' stats. Names, birth dates, weights, that sort of stuff."

"Anybody get anything close?"

"Nope. They at least know we aren't the sort of couple that chooses Emma and Olivia or that kind of shit for our twins," Alex replied as she led me outside where everything was decorated in robin's egg blue, rose gold and shades of yellow and gold with old looking light wood and palm tree leaves along with tropical flowers and coconuts. She even had tiki torches and multicolored crepe paper flowers hanging on the trellis above the patio. Above the cake table was a brown banner that said "Welcome Vause Twins" in pink and gold with white hearts. There was a table with lemonade and nonalcoholic sangria in two large standing glass pitchers with macrons in every color of the rainbow along with rose gold and teal frosted cupcakes all with little pearls on top.

"Baby, I can't believe you did all this."

"It wasn't my idea."

"Yeah, all these things are so perfect because you didn't tell them everything I like."

"Just enjoy your party, babe," Alex told me as Diane came up to us with white sashes that said moms of twins in gold lettering with intertwined pink hearts.

"Do we have to wear these," I asked as Alex parroted my question.

"Be thankful they aren't worse. And yes. Do you like it, Piper?"

"I love it."

"I'm glad. Now you two sit, behave like the expectant moms you are and let me do the rest. Games start in an hour."

We spent the next hour sipping on nonalcoholic sangria while our friends came around and told us how happy they were for us and how amazing we would be. It was nice to be waited on and just be able to spend time relaxing with Alex while our worlds converged for the first time.

Even my mother behaved herself, although I caught her scowling a few times and complaining to my father about how there were too many lesbians and asking if I had straight friends. I wanted to ask if she had any gay ones but I knew it wouldn't have been beneficial so I focused on enjoying my day and the who could buy or make the cutest onesie contest, the winner was one that said "she blinded me with science," a nod to our love of music, Halloween and the debt we owed to modern reproductive medicine. We got more cute little pink outfits and hairbows than our girls would ever wear. Diane started telling embarrassing stories about Alex's babyhood and my mother even joined in towards the end. We laughed as everybody struggled through the games. Alex spent most of the party with her hand in my lap and kissing my cheek as she beamed. I had never felt happier or more loved than I did that day. As the party wore down, I knew I could make it through the next month.

After dinner, Diane took Geo back to her vacation rental but as she left with Geo in his dinosaur backpack in her arms Cal stopped her and asked to come and of course, Diane agreed but not before declaring, "How'd I end up with boys? I have no clue what to do with them."

"I wonder the same thing, mom. Piper didn't initially tell me her kid was a boy, it was a while before she did and I yelled some things then composed myself. Now, Momma loves her boy," she cooed as she placed her hand on our son's head, "You gonna be a good boy for Nana?"

"I wanna go poo' patty!"

"It's a grownup party, bud. Tomorrow maybe we can drive to Brooklyn and go to the boardwalk with Nana and Cal. You could go play in the ocean, which is way better than the pool. And you get to have a slumber party like a big boy," Alex asserted as she tried to negotiate with a toddler who got a few too many of my genes.

"Can I go to a real seepoder this summer," he asked her as he kicked against Diane's side.

"We'll see," she kissed him and then shot her mom a commanding glare that needed no words because it screamed 'take care of my little boy' before she grabbed a beer and rejoined our party. Nicky and Jess were checking the snack table while everybody else was splashing in the water and throwing beach balls around. I eventually jumped in when I could no longer take the sight of Alex wet in a skimpy black bikini that left nothing to the imagination and tongue fucking a beer bottle. It was just like the parties of my youth except everybody was already paired off and trying to hook up with their respective life partners.

"Hey, beautiful. Finally decide the water was fine?"

"Something like that," I teased as I kissed her and actually enjoyed the taste of stale beer on her lips.

"Is this about me or the alcohol?"

"Both, baby. I'm looking at two things I want nothing more than to drink."

"But you know you wouldn't. I mean unless you want to give your friends a master class on lesbian sex."

"Not such a bad idea but I know how much your masterclasses and keynotes cost and I don't think I can afford you."

"Oh, you can't. Interest fees are a bitch. You are in debt to me in perpetuity. Get comfy, babe."

"Funny, Smooshy. You having fun?"

"A bunch of toned queer women in bikinis, it's my wet dream coming true. And even better I get to hold my wife and see her with her sexy bump on full display."

"Is it really sexy?"

"Yeah, it is."

"If it wasn't from your babies would it still be?"

"With that face, definitely. I woulda been looking for the lucky bastard."

"You wouldn't have to look too far, you're literally the lucky bastard, Vause," I teased as Nicky walked by and chuckled.

"Are you calling me a bastard? Are you seriously calling me a bastard," Alex asked playfully as she swatted at my arm.

"Well, you are. I thought you'd have more problems with me calling you lucky than the indisputable fact in that phrase. You have a birth certificate with only a mother's name on it."

"What am I going to do with you?"

I placed her hand on my swollen belly, "I think you've done enough."

Alex just shook her head and kissed me as we watched our friends playing a pickup game of beach ball water polo while Alex whispered, "Your friends," Even though Nicky was out there making some good plays too. At midnight, Alex surprised me with a birthday cake and sparklers before the last guests left around 1:30 am and we stayed up the rest of the night watching movies in nothing but black tank tops in our bed until we fell asleep in each other's arms.