Chapter 69: Subway
What is Jake trying to get out of this time?
Time always passes and so it does for Jake and his best friend Nick. The fox had finally gotten over his fear of the house and the four paintings of the raccoon's family members have been banished from the Billiard's Room to Jake's office where they now stare down at the raccoon as he works.
Both Nick and Judy have moved in next door to the fox's mother in one of the recently renovated apartments in downtown Happy Town, not too far from Jake's house. This was more convenient for Judy since her last promotion to the Fifth Precinct, but for Nick it was a long way for the fox to travel back downtown where the detective in training was still working. Once again he found himself aboard the crowded subway, this time Jake had joined him and this was something the raccoon had recently started doing for some reason.
"I swear that those eyes in my uncle's painting are staring at me when I'm in my office," Jake muttered to the fox as they were both jostled aside as a sow tried to squeeze past a large rhino. The raccoon frowned when he realized he was face to hind tail of the large gray construction worker's rear.
"At least that painting isn't where I can see it or it can see me!" Nick replied as he sipped his cup of coffee. "It still gives me the creeps."
"Why do you insist on buying Snarlbuck's coffee? There is a perfectly good state of the art coffee maker at my place."
"I just prefer the taste," Nick replied with a shrug. "Nothing against your fancy coffee machine, but I think their coffee is better."
"I can't tell the difference, but you can waste your money if you want to."
"You're a raccoon, I could give you watered down mud in a cup and you'd not know the difference."
"Hey, I've got really good taste buds!"
"Jake, you think the coffee at the Main Street Café is good!" Nick scoffed. "Anyone will tell you that it's the worse coffee in this whole city. I would not be surprised if they actually pride themselves on that too?"
"Well, I'd don't think it's that bad and neither did my pops. I remember when I was little watching his face as he relished his Saturday morning cup while he gossiped with his pals. Back then, I think he knew everyone in the joint. We ate there almost every weekend, Old Cookie used to make a smiley face with sliced bananas on the top of my pancakes."
The subway train slowed down at the next station and more animals shoved their way into the already crowded car. "OW!" Nick yipped as he clutched his tail into his arms. "Watch the tail buddy!"
"Look fox…" the rough-looking warthog who had stepped on his tail began to oink in anger until he saw the police badge attached to the belt of the fox in the blue business suit. He then blanched slightly and frowned as he silently looked away. Almost in a panic, he slowly began trying to push his way away from the fox.
"So tell me why we are crammed in here like sardines again?" Jake muttered to his friend. "We could have taken a cab."
"Talk about wasting money!" Nick chided him. "Besides, this is faster than sitting in traffic. By the way, when did you start commuting to your office every morning?"
"I have some work to do."
"Jake, we both know that Jimmy Ratzoli runs your company's daily business. So why don't you tell me the truth?"
"Toilet training!" the raccoon grumbled out.
"Wait, what?"
"Yes, you've heard me correctly! The boys are learning to use the potty."
"That is the real reason why you've been leaving your home at the crack of dawn? Coon, you need to parent up and not leave Marie to have to teach them that."
"They do go with her down the street to the Coyote Cultural Center every day," Jake objected. "Besides, it's only Nicky who needs training."
"You already taught Freddie?"
"No, he learned from his little friend Chery how to use the potty. I just can't get him to understand that as a male, he can stand up to pee since she can't." Jake noticed that the fox was only partially paying attention to what he was saying. "Is there something wrong?" he asked.
"I thought that warthog over there seemed familiar, so I looked him up on my phone and he has a warrant out for his arrest," Nick answered as he began to weave his way towards the larger animal. The fox pulled out his phone again and messaged dispatch for backup. Just then the train came to stop at the next station and the door opened. Frantically, the warthog shoved his way out of the subway car and began to run down the platform towards the stairs which led outside.
"POLICE!" Nick called out as he drew his tranquilizer gun from his shoulder holster and bolted after the criminal. Jake didn't even hesitate as he followed.
The warthog found his pathway blocked by a large elephant who was slowly stomping up the stairs in front of him. With a snarl, he tried to push the large female pachyderm aside.
"Put your paws on your head and lay down on the ground!" Nick ordered, but the warthog reached down and scooped up a small teen squirrel who was trying to scurry out of the way.
"He has a hostage!" Jake warned. But instead of holding onto the small squirrel, the criminal threw her bodily at the fox and Nick had to drop his weapon so he could catch the frightened teen. Even as he did so, Jake leaped past him and bound upon the larger boar's back. The raccoon had fought warthogs before when he was in jail and with an audible sounding whack, the raccoon drove his right elbow deeply into the bigger and stronger animal's neck causing the criminal to squeal out in pain as he staggered. Before he could strike again, Jake looked up to see that the large elephant now loomed over both of them and he lunged away just as her purse swung down and caught the warthog on his chin. The blow sent the boar stumbling down the stairs, only to sprawl muzzle first upon the subway's white tiled floor where he laid in a daze.
Jake ran down the stairs and jumped upon the criminal's back, pulling his hoofs behind his back. "Cuffs!" the raccoon yelled. Nick set the scared young squirrel down and snatched up his gun even as he reached for his pawcuffs and tossed them to Jake.
There was a clicking sound as the raccoon slapped them over the warthog's wrists.
"If I tell him his rights, would that count?" Jake joked. "I know them by heart since they were read to me enough in the past."
"No, but you can always try to be a cop if you want too!" Jake snickered as he holstered his gun. "But I doubt you could pass the physical and you've met Major Friedkin at the Police Academy. She would chew your scrawny tail up and spit it out."
"If you could do it, I can do it!" the raccoon boasted. "I would try except for the fact that I doubt the city could afford me, not with that measly salary they pay you!"
