Chapter 48: not alone

Hawks was furious. The attack wasn't meant to happen before tomorrow. Also, what kind of nomu was that? Dabi had said nothing about it being so different from the ones they encountered before. And that sneaky attack on Kumogane…

The league went behind his back. They still didn't trust him, and it backfired. He had to do better if he wanted to keep up his act as a spy. He needed to gain their trust, so things weren't going to get worse.

Tonight, he would do better. It should be easier now that Neo Kumo had been arrested and he didn't need to worry about his interns anymore.


Izuku couldn't focus. Who could blame him? Endeavour was still in the hospital, he had to stay for a few more days. Their internships ended abruptly until further notice. Todoroki-kun was… On edge. He didn't know how to describe it. The incident had taken a lot out of him. Izuku overheard how he refused his sister's request to visit their father, but by what he knew about their complicated relationship, Izuku didn't judge him.

Regarding Hikari, they were told that most of her injuries were only superficial despite what it looked like, it was most likely quirk exhaustion that got her to collapse. As soon as she had enough stamina for Recovery Girl to heal her, she would be released. Izuku sighed. He was sick of seeing his friend in a hospital bed every other week, beaten half to death. He had gotten better at not getting himself injured, and he hoped she would learn that too.

"Young Midoriya!"

Izuku snapped out of his thoughts. His sleeves, despite being rolled up, had caught fire. He yelped, extinguished the flames flickering along his forearms and slapped the smouldering fabric until the glow was out.

"Young Midoriya," All Might, visibly concerned, took a few steps towards him, "you're not focused."

Izuku flinched. "I know, I'm sorry…"

"There is nothing to be sorry about, my boy," his mentor patted him on the back, "maybe it's best if we continue another day."

"But I had it," the teen argued, "yesterday, when the fire almost hit Hikari, I took it over, I could feel how it bent to my will, and when I closed my fist it was out in an instant-"

"I understand why you're so eager, but extreme conditions can cause a quirk's power to peak momentarily. I'm not saying you won't be able to do that soon, I know you can. But forcing you to practice while your mind is obviously somewhere far away isn't going to help. I'll be around over the holidays, so we can practice whenever you want. Just maybe not today."

Izuku knew All Might was right, but it was a bitter pill to swallow. Just when he thought he landed a breakthrough, nothing came out of it. He only wanted to get a bit more control until the internship continued - at least he hoped it would - so he could practice using that quirk as well. Endeavour and his sidekicks could surely use someone who was able to extinguish their flames with ease, couldn't they?

Izuku forced his clenched fists to relax and took a few deep breaths. "Okay... The day after tomorrow maybe?"

"Sounds good," All Might took his time before looking up from his phone, which was quite unusual. "Let me know when you feel like it. I just got a message from Recovery Girl. I think we should head over to the infirmary."


The door shut. She could still hear the muffled chatter outside. Steps approached, slow, cautious, almost anxious.

"Hikari?"

She finally managed to lift her chin. Her hand hurt, she still couldn't feel her ring finger and pinkie, despite Recovery Girl telling announcing that all her injuries had been taken care of. She tried to straighten her back but couldn't wipe the blank expression off her face. She simply nodded, allowing him to take a seat on the chair across. Midoriya was wearing his sports uniform - short sleeved, despite the freezing temperatures - it looked like he came straight from his training with All Might. He didn't say anything, didn't push until she was ready.

"I… I should be happy, shouldn't I?" Hikari whispered, eyes downcast. "My brother was arrested, I'm pretty sure he's going to Tartarus. It's over. He can't hurt anyone anymore. Aizawa-sensei even said I should be cleared of the protection program in a few weeks, meaning, I'll be allowed to go outside. That's a reason to be happy, isn't it?"

But she wasn't. At first, the message didn't strike any reaction at all. Then, out of nowhere, she felt devastated. Exhausted. Tired of everything. Cold. Lost and lonely.

"After everything… He's… He's gone, mom and dad too, Neko left- Hawks was forced to cancel the internship, everyone is gone and I," Hikari hitched a breath, "I miss them so much! I feel so lost… They all left me, and I'm so scared, I don't wanna lose anyone else-"

"Hikari, please calm down!"

"Please don't leave me," she begged in tears, "I can't take it anymore, I don't want to lose you and the others, you're all I have left!"

"You won't!" Strong arms wrapped her in a bone crushing hug. "I promise, you won't lose anyone, we would never leave you!"

Hikari buried her face in his shoulder and clawed at his uniform, just to hold something in her hands, something she could touch, something real, something that wouldn't disappear…

"You're not alone, Hikari. You have 1-A, Eri-chan, Aizawa-sensei, All Might and all the other teachers, the other students, Hawks, they all care about you, they wouldn't leave you."

How could he be so sure? Nothing stayed forever. People came, people went, people died. That was the harsh truth she knew.

"But they don't have a choice," she sobbed, "someone's gonna take them from me-"

Midoriya pushed her away, but only to look her straight in the eyes.

"They're strong. And we all stick together. If someone wants to take us from you, I'd like to see them try." His expression was determined. He had so much blind faith in their friends, it was astonishing. Would she ever be able to trust in someone as much as he did?

"We promised to get stronger together," his voice grew soft as he reminded her, "didn't we? Let's just do that. Let's grow so strong that no one can ever take our friends and loved ones from us. And I promise, I will never leave you. How could I call myself your friend if I did?"

Her sobbing had ceased. Hikari's vision was still blurry, she was still shaken, but calmer than before. Midoriya meant every word he said that much she believed. His grip loosened around her upper arms loosened, and he brought up his right hand to wipe a stray tear off her cheek. It was rough but incredibly warm, the touch so gentle. Before she knew what she was doing, Hikari leaned into the touch, indulging in the warm feeling it sparked in her, warm enough to at least somewhat fill the cold emptiness filling her insides.

She half expected Midoriya to draw back, but he didn't. Not even when she brought up her own hand, traced his scars with her fingertips, and placed it atop of his. She used to hate being touched. Ever since her brother started doing those awful things to her, touch equalled pain. It wasn't until she met Neko that she remembered what it was like to live without that pain. And only after transferring to U.A., especially when she lost her voice, she realized that it didn't have to mean anything at all. Shaking hands, giving high-fives, being poked into the face or softly slapped on the back of the head, hands placed on shoulders for comfort, all gestures people just did because they were used to do so. Touches she didn't have to be afraid of.

"Are you feeling better?" Midoriya brought her back, his voice barely above a whisper.

"A bit. Thank you."

He sighed in relief. A small smile found its way on his lips. "Good, I'm glad."

Hikari let go of his hand, even though part of her vehemently wanted everything to stay the way it was. Midoriya drew back, exposing her cheek to the cold air. Hikari ignored the unpleasant sensation and shook her head.

"I'm sorry you always have to see me like this."

"Like what?" He inquired. She couldn't help but grin wobbily at his obliviousness.

"Crying? Weak? Whining about life? Suffocating in self-pity? I don't know, you choose."

"It's not a weakness," Midoriya argued, "showing emotion, I mean. Everyone needs to cry once in a while, or you'll end up like Kacchan. Bottling it all up doesn't do any good, believe me, I know that. And, you know, you've seen me cry plenty. I do it all the time. Unless," his eyes widened, "don't tell me all this time…?!"

"O-of course not!"

His shoulders relaxed. Did he really think for a moment she would ever consider him weak?

"Okay, hah, good, you had me there for a moment." He scratched the back of his neck in embarrassment. "So, uhm, anyway, are you still up for that Christmas party tonight? We could tone it down, if you want, just watch a movie or something-"

"No, we promised Eri. I may not be of much use," Hikari held up her thickly bandaged right hand, "but we can't disappoint her."

She had only seen Eri once since the internships began, but the little one seemed so excited when they invited her. Apparently, she had never celebrated Christmas before.

"Then let's head back. The others are worried sick, they only know the little info that was released in the news. Just that he got arrested after a fight with heroes, and that all of us were involved, not more. We weren't allowed to say anything."

As if waiting for a cue, the door opened. All Might and Recovery Girl entered, the later eyeing Hikari very closely. "You look a bit better. In that case, I think it's best if you go back to your classmates rather than staying here."

Hikari couldn't agree more. She had spent more time in hospital beds the past few months than most people did in their whole lives.

"That only leaves us with a problem, though. With most of the students going back to their homes during the holidays, you will be the only one staying here, which might not be very helpful in your current situation. That's why I'm prescribing you with two visits here at the infirmary per day, at least until Aizawa picks up your training. Until then, keep your quirk in check with the exercises I showed you some time ago."

Sounded like fun. Not having a choice, Hikari set out, "Fine-"

"I have a suggestion," Midoriya piped up, catching everyone's attention. The school nurse rose her brows.

"So, uhm, the apartment mom and I moved into recently is quite spacious, we even had a room to spare, where we put my old bed in and it's now a storage and guest room, so if everyone is okay with that, and," he turned to Hikari, "if you want to, I think you could stay with us? I mean, it's safe enough for me to stay there, and mom would be happy to see you, she's been asking about you ever since the incident, so…" He was again scratching the back of his neck.

Recovery Girl and All Might, the latter hadn't spoken a word since entering yet, exchanged a glance. It didn't take them long to form an opinion.

"Although the Midoriya's situation might be everything but ordinary, I believe having a loving family around may be beneficial for your mental health," the heroine concluded. All Might nodded.

"I agree. You two seem to keep each other in check rather well. So, if you wish, young Shikogane, I will ask principal Nedzu. I'm sure he would be thrilled by the idea."

They were all looking at her, expectantly. Hikari blinked, too baffled to answer. She was still confused. Hurt. It took a moment until the meaning of the offer sank in. So, she could either stay in the dorms alone, bore herself to death, sentenced to visit the infirmary twice a day, or she could go with Midoriya and meet Inko-san again, the most heartily woman she had ever met.

"I, uhm, I think I would like that."


She took a few deep breaths. Collected herself. Hikari brushed her hair behind her ears and readied herself for a fake smile. But there was no need. Multiple arms wrapped around her. "Hiiii-chaaaaan" Hagakure cried, "stop making us worry!"
"Yeah, you're like worse than Mr. break-all-my-bones over there!" Mina's horns poked her temple, but she didn't mind.
"I'm sorry," was all she managed to say. As soon as the first two let go, Ochako and Tsuyu came to collect their hugs, before Momo took her healthy hand and Kyouka began scolding her. After the girls came the boys, although most of them kept their distance. Kirishima patted her on the back, crying about how manly she was, fighting against her own brother. Kaminari joined, amicably throwing an arm around her shoulders, chiming in with Kirishima. She got some cheese stuffed in her mouth by a sparkling Aoyama, who was quickly told off by Iida. At last, when most attention had been redirected somewhere else, Todoroki walked up to her. He didn't say anything. He just, very quickly, put a hand on her shoulder, squeezed it and went off to join Midoriya. The green haired teen kept a bit of a distance, but never took his eyes off the exchanges.
"Hi-chan, kero?" Tsuyu startled her.
"Ah, sorry, yes?"
"How are you feeling? You look pale. Are you okay?"
This time, the corners of her mouth twitched the tiniest bit upwards. Tsuyu was perceptive, she would know if Hikari lied. Plus, she had promised her to not keep secrets anymore.
"No," Hikari admitted, "I'm... Not. But I will be. I just need time."
"Of course, kero. If there's anything you need, anything we can do, we're here for you. And thank you for being honest this time."
You're not alone, you have 1-A, Eri-chan, Aizawa-sensei, All Might and all the other teachers, the other students, Hawks, they all care about you, they wouldn't leave you.
Tears began to sting in her eyes again, but Hikari fought them back down. "Thank you."
"Always, we're friends!"
"Do you mind if I go upstairs for a little bit?"
"Oh, not at all! We're handling the preparations well, kero," the breaking of glass could be heard, "just go and rest until the party starts. And don't forget to collect your hat and dress before you do."
Wait, what hat and dress?


"So, uhm, that door down there is mom's bedroom, this one here," he pointed at the All Might door sign as if it wasn't already obvious, "is my room, the one in between will be yours. Oh, and the one across is the bathroom. It's ridiculously huge for two people, just like the living room."

To be honest, Izuku had no idea what he was doing. None of his friends had been here yet. He never brought any friends home, not since he and Kacchan had their fallout as children. Deciding he had been awkwardly pointing around long enough, the previously quirkless teen opened the door for his friend, revealing a room about the size of the ones they had at U.A. It was a bit stuffed with the big closet on the left side, a bookshelf on the right and his old bed underneath the window at the very back. It was clean and bright though, and they had a big enough table in the living room if they wanted to study.

Hikari bit her lower lip, clearly stifling a grin. Izuku followed her gaze to his old bed, and it took him a moment to realize what was so funny. His mom had turned the furniture around, putting the side of the bed on display he so happily decorated with dozens of bleached out All Might stickers as a kdi. Heat shot into his face.

"I can explain…!"

"I think it's cute. Look," she went inside, placed her bag on the floor and plopped down on the bed, "it even has matching All Might bedding. Pretty sure that will keep me safe at night."

Izuku wasn't sure what to read into that sentence. Flustered, he waved his hands around. Time to divert the attention.

"A-anyway, how about you, uhm, settle in, and I, uhm, I'll be in my room, take all the time you need, I think dinner will be ready soon!"

"You realize it's nothing to be ashamed of, right? I think it's awesome when people have special interests," Hikari glanced over at the shelves where more of his All Might merch stood, "even if I don't always get them, it makes them interesting. It shows that they have personality. And to be fair, if I hadn't noticed your obsession with All Might by now, we'd have to be concerned about other things."

His hands dropped to his side. He had been called a fanboy, even an otaku when they showed off their rooms after moving into the dorms. But they all just accepted it. He was truly blessed having such understanding people around him.

It only took a handful of minutes until he heard knocking. Izuku welcomed the girl in, feeling a bit bad that his room was so much bigger, even though half of it was empty. He didn't need that much space, but his mom urged him to take this one.

Hikari sat on his bed as he wordlessly instructed, her eyes scanning the room, taking in every detail. He had tried to tidy up a bit, hopefully nothing embarrassing was lying around.

"I offered Inko-san my help, but she wanted it to be a surprise," his friend informed him, eyes still circling around the room, "is something missing there?"

She pointed to a row of figurines on the top shelf. Izuku was more than happy to explain, "Sadly, yes. That's my tiny top collection. They released a special All Might line about ten years ago, but I could never get my hands on the one where he's wearing his silver age costume. Only a limited amount was produced, and I've been trying to find the missing piece for years, and I actually found one some time back, but…"

"But?"

"The guy wanted two million yen. For a plastic figurine. From a twelve-year-old."

"Oh," she frowned, "I'll let you know if I see one."

"Don't get my hopes up," Izuku joked, surprised but also enjoying the fact that she seemed genuinely interested in his stuff. Realizing he didn't have to worry about it, he patiently waited for the next question.

"Are those up there your other notebooks on heroes and quirks? I noticed the one you're using is labelled thirteen."

"They are." He fondly looked at the worn-out spines. Since the beginning, he used notebooks from the same brand, always the same size. They had changed colours and layouts a bit over the years, but the quality remained.

"You must have worked really hard. Thirteen volumes - that's insane."

"Well, it was my only pastime before I started training for U.A. I really… Heroes were all I ever had in mind. Saving people, like All Might did. There were times it only took me a bit over a month to fill a whole notebook. Now, I've been using the same one since my last year in middle school. So much happened, but I can't seem to find the time to write it all down."

"That's a shame." Hikari got up and walked over. She inspected to notebooks but made no move to touch them. Izuku joined her.

"You can take a look if you want."

"Really? I don't want to intrude, they must mean a lot to you."

"I don't mind! People ask me about them a lot, but no one actually wants to look at them."

"I'll be careful," the girl reassured before picking a random one. It happened to be one with an orange spine, labelled with volume three. Izuku didn't expect her to go back that far, but he had offered. The first thing that hit their eyes when the girl opened it was, how else could it be, an especially bad drawing of the underwater heroine Manta, who was retired by now. Izuku slapped his forehead. He still wasn't as good at drawing as one might think after all those years, but this…

"Aww."

"Please don't say that," he pleaded, flustered.

"But you tried really hard! You even drew her lashes!"

As if that made it any better. Luckily, she didn't tease him any more and went on skimming through the book.

"Hey, is that Endeavour?"

Izuku peeked from between his fingers. It indeed was, but from many years ago. Some more recent notes had been added into the free spaces, but they were all outdated already. More to himself, he noted, "I should make a new one in my current journal. He altered his costume quite a bit and has so many new moves, and now that I kinda got to know him from up close…"

Having heard every word, Hikari suggested, "You could ask Aoyama for help. Strangely enough, he is very good at drawing."

Izuku blinked. "I didn't know that."

"I stumbled upon him painting a self-portrait in the washing room once, because apparently 'the light has a supérieur qualité' there," she perfectly imitated his voice. It was a lead Izuku would follow.

There was a knock. "Izuku? Hikari-chan? Dinner is ready!"

"We'll be right there," All Might's successor called back before turning to his guest, "let's go, you definitely can't miss out mom's cooking. Especially not on a special day like today."

But Hikari lingered for a moment, her fingers tracing the spines. "I wouldn't dare. But, Midoriya-kun, you know… All that work you did here… I think you're pretty amazing."

He froze. Had he misheard? Or had it been an accident? Why would she phrase it like that? Did she even notice? Why was he panicking?

"Is something wrong?" The girl turned to him, completely oblivious. Izuku gulped. He knew he was blushing, and she obviously didn't know why. Should he ignore it? Should he-

"I-I think you're pretty amazing, too," the words came over his lips without consent. Hikari's eyes widened, he could see the gears in her head turning. A tint of red crawled up her cheeks.

"Izuku! The food is getting cold!"

He slapped his cheek and took a deep breath. "Let's go."


A/N: Heyyy *finger guns and writes fluff to cover up anxiety* how ya'll doin'? My whole country is under lockdown ahhhhh

Thanks for the follows Carson The Kid and Onetruespamacc!

And special thanks to Trent8688 for the follow, favourite and the review! I'm so glad you went on reading even though you didn't like the beginning and the tag!

In canon, they're only allowed to go back home for New Year's Eve. But this is a fanfic, so I'm gonna do what the plot demands. Also, if the last part feels off… I turned three chapters into two, so you don't have to wait too long for plot progression.