I Have a Thing for Grandiosity

Peri was resting her head in Sarevok's lap. Her glossy veil of hair was spread like a silken garment on the ground.

- "You are so weary, sister. The weight of the prophecy is heavy on your heart. To think how I resented you that you stumbled upon it blindly, and I worked so hard to gain it, and failed."

- "How do you feel about it now, Sarevok? With your new outlook, would you still want to be the one around whom it is centered? Would you still want to be the one deciding what to do about the power?"

Sarevok thought about it for a while, trying to search his soul and be as honest as possible.

- "I... I have a thing for grandiosity. I must always live on a great scale, for a purpose. But if you have taught me anything, it is that the power like this can swallow a person and make him a mere vessel of hostile powers. So much suffering... so many wrongdoings I caused. Now, perhaps there are people who could handle that and use that power for something worthwhile. Perhaps Keldorn could... or Imoen."

- "They wouldn't want to," Peri remarked.

- "Exactly. And... I truly doubt anyone could, in the end, use the power of Murder for any good purposes. No matter how good intentions, this very evil is borne in our bones, Peri... you know it. I wasn't even four years old when I dreamed of murdering. It felt so good, it frightened me but it also gave me the succor I lacked in that temple of those priestesses."

- "I know," Peri said, shivering. "I got so much love from Gorion, and yet... the dreams. They promised so much, they pulled me. Now, a knife is a tool. It is just steel, not good or evil of itself. It can be used for murdering, or for healing in the hands of a skilled healer. But the power of Bhaal is not like that. It is dark and destructive by nature, and I have no faith in anyone being able to control it the way he can choose what to use a knife for."

Sarevok was nodding, deep in thought.

- "I... haven't told you something. I dreamed of Gorion. He warned me that you might be tempted by the power, that I should help you, watch your step. But as we talk it doesn't seem to be that way. I wonder... was it but my own imagination... my arrogance thinking that he would actually trust his murderer and want his help?"

- "He always worried a lot, Sarevok. As for trusting you and wanting your help... he is not one who would say that he has forgiven if he really didn't. He is a man with such profound compassion in his heart. And now he knows what you went through, and that he was forced to leave you to die. I understand very well that he forgave you. Sarevok... you cling on to your guilt."

- "That I do. But Peri, I want to. My new life you, and Imoen, granted to me doesn't have a meaning unless I strive for making up for all the horrible things I did in my previous one. I care little about how I am perceived. But I will do the reverse of what I have done. I can never put the people in general above the ones who truly mean the world to me, but once my obligations to you, Imoen and... Tamoko..."

His voice trailed away, a single tear rolling on his cheek.

- "That was it, wasn't it. You had started to change, slowly... but when I pointed out that you had ruined your own life and spit on Tamoko's love... that was what made you truly think and change your course?" Peri asked, stroking Sarevok's arm.

Sarevok nodded.

- "She talked about it to me so many times. She really tried. And I always got so mad... I wanted to hurt, to punish her, and I slept with Cythandria," he sobbed.

- "If it is any consolation, Bhaal was fueling your anger," Peri said.

- "It isn't, Peri. I should have understood... listened..."

- "This is no use, dear brother. You love her still, don't you?"

Sarevok sighed, and nodded miserably.

- "I always will. I would give much to get what she so tried to offer me. That she would be my wife, that we would grow old together. Her brother, even, is dead because of me."

- "You can't know that. We only assume that he came to seek Tamoko."

- "I know," Sarevok said stubbornly. "I feel it in my bones."

- "What do you think happened to Winski?" Sarevok asked. "If only I could ask for his forgiveness... he always cared for me, prevented Reiltar from breaking my spirit when I was still a child. He is not a bad person, but his pain and fear made him so. My mother loved him so..."

- "I don't know what happened to him, Sarevok, " Peri answered. "Perhaps we will know one day... our life is interesting that way nowadays. Death is merely an inconvenience."

- "I would fear meeting him... I couldn't bear it if he hated me and did not want to forgive me."

- "You still have things to learn about forgiveness," Peri said quietly, gently stroking her brother's arm.