February 4, 2011

~*~ EP ~*~

Eugene's a little surprised when Jazz settles across from him at lunch. Normally, Honey's brother joins him for breakfast, but lunch is pretty much reserved for his young girlfriend. He's got his head ducked down and he's eating mechanically as if reminding himself not to waste food.

Even Eugene can figure out something's wrong. "You okay, Jazz?"

The teenager sighs and lays his fork down carefully. His gaze goes toward the table the teenagers usually co-opt and Eugene largely avoids now that he doesn't have to monitor teenage hijinks due to work. But Eugene spent enough years on cafeteria duty to recognize the problem right away.

Sophia's gleaming blonde braids stand out because she's bookended by two boys. Eugene recognizes Miguel, because the teen's got a passing interest in science and came to a couple of labs Carol talked Eugene into hosting while they wait on the pancreas needed to start the insulin experiments. He thinks the other boy is from that last group brought in, from Ellijay.

There's no mistaking the flirting going on, or that it isn't being rebuffed.

He looks back to Jazz, who sighs and fiddles with his fork. "You were a teacher before. Don't kids usually get upset when they see their girlfriend flirting?"

Eugene's had to break up actual fist fights due to exactly that, one of his absolutely hated teacherly duties. "That is the typical reaction in my experience, particularly from the male of the species when other males admire the lady he likes too closely."

"Would you feel that way if my sister was flirting like that?"

The pieces slide together now. Jazz is seeking his advice, not so much as an experienced observer of teenage drama and angst, but for their shared differences from the rest of the world.

He answers honestly. "I would be extremely jealous indeed, although Hannah and I do not yet have any exclusive agreement that would entitle me to say anything about it."

Jazz studies the scene at the other table. He doesn't look back at Eugene as he asks, "And if all I feel is happy that she's happy?"

"Then I would either determine you are unusually enlightened as a male of the species, or that your entanglement with the young lady is more friendship than romance."

He expects the second suggestion to upset the teenager, but when Jazz looks back at him, he only looks thoughtful. "Might explain the kissing thing."

That's enough to get Eugene to set his own fork aside. "Kissing thing?" He wonders if he should be considering fetching one of the teen's relatives.

"She wants to kiss on the lips, because that's what the other couples do." A movement of his hand indicates another teenage couple more interested in tasting each other than their lunch.

"And your preference?"

"I kiss her cheek, mostly." Jazz sighs. "Kind of the same way I do my mother or sisters."

Eugene asks the question that normally might run the risk of offending the hell out of another male, but he suspects won't merit the same reaction from a Dixon. "Jazz? Are you certain you are attracted to girls? As opposed to having an attraction to your own gender instead?"

Jazz doesn't answer right away, gaze sliding among the teenagers in sight and Eugene thinks he's mulling it over. "Maybe both," he answers at last.

"Then perhaps you mistook a friendly affection for young Sophia as something more? It is my understanding that sometimes an initial attraction fades without building to anything more."

"That's what the book Cricket gave me says."

It doesn't surprise him that the boy's sister gave him a relationship book, nor that Jazz turned to a book for advice before a person.

Jazz returns to eating, so Eugene does too. They pass their meal in companionable silence until their plates are cleared and Jazz speaks again.

"You're off-duty tonight, right?"

Eugene nods. It's one of the two nights a week that off-duty run teams cover watch shifts.

"Could I come over? Everyone is going to be all involved if I'm at home."

He supposes with such a large family, made even larger by the Greenes and Patricia sharing the main house, privacy is at a premium. "You are certainly welcome."

He thinks he'll actually enjoy having company that isn't hanging about to make sure he's not isolating himself.

Jazz smiles gratefully and gathers his dishes. "I'm going to go find Jenny to see if she'll cover my supper shift tonight if I cover her laundry shift on Sunday."

Eugene nods and the boy heads off, leaving Eugene to gather his own things to take to the dishwasher station. He hesitates a moment before deciding at least some warning to those who care about Jazz is in order and goes to find Cricket.

~*~ Jesus ~*~

Jesus reaches out and snags Honey, dragging her close as silently as possible. Logan's already tucked against his side. He points out the lone man approaching the strip center they were raiding in the small town on their way back from setting up the radio system for the Bay community. Abraham is the one who called the halt, partly because of the tobacco store, Jesus suspects. No one minds, because the other shops are useful for Hilltop too.

Their visitor isn't hiding, and the throat radio report from Tim on watch is to let him approach as he appears unarmed. He's savvy enough to know he's being watched, because as soon as he's in range to speak without shouting, he does so.

"My name is Aaron. I'm from a community nearby and I keep seeing your group in the area with different people."

Jesus glances to Honey. A well-hidden community, with all the rural and urban real estate Virginia has, isn't unusual. He can see her thinking it over as Abraham steps into view. He's never figured out the way they shift who will approach a new group.

His introduction was Honey, but he knows now it's because Abraham slipped off like Tim to lie in wait in the woods. With Hilltop, they paired off, but at the Kingdom, Honey stepped forward. This last meeting, on Solomons Island, Abraham led. For all he knows, they're just taking turns.

"Any particular reason you approached us now?"

The curly-haired man smiles hesitantly. "A few days ago, you cleared a medical center near my home we haven't been able to. But you went west with that group, and I've seen you with a different group that went south. So, I'm guessing you help people."

"We do, if they're deserving."

"I need help obtaining medicines for my community. What would we have to offer in trade?"

Jesus remembers the medical center, up near Woodbridge. It wouldn't be hard to be hidden in the area around the suburban city. But the man's singing the right tune to appeal to the Georgians.

"You got a place in mind for us to raid, or is the choice up to us?"

The man shrugs. "I know of at least two untouched locations, but I'm not particular if you have a different target in mind."

Abraham's seen or heard whatever he needs, because he thrusts a big hand out. "Sergeant Abraham Ford."

"Aaron." He shakes Abraham's hand and glances back over his shoulder. "Is it okay of my partner approaches? It's just the two of us out scouting today."

Abraham consents and Jesus turns to Honey. "We're not making it back to Hilltop tonight, are we?" he asks, amused. Since the snow cleared and the radio was set up, they spent another day at the Kingdom before returning to Hilltop for two days. In the end, the entire group originally meant to stay at Hilltop opted for Ezekiel's domain instead, so they escorted the group north along with half the RVs. Unlike Gregory, Ezekiel didn't seem concerned about additional supplies, but they spent another day helping on a raid to that medical center Aaron's mentioning.

With most of their reluctant charges now settled, Honey suggested they venture out to the third community to set up communications at least. With boats and access to the Bay and Atlantic beyond it, the community on Solomons Island is better off in many areas than the Virginia communities, isolated the way they are just over the Maryland border. They don't have many farmland options though, so Hilltop's brought produce in exchange for seafood.

Honey grins. "Well, you are in charge of finding allies and trading partners, right?"

He can't complain. A third friendly local community would be a real boon for Hilltop, especially if they're willing to adapt like the others.

~*~ LG ~*~

Lori's probably the closest to alone she's been since the baby was born, with just Jazz in the house. Daryl's out on his first run, since Shane and Scout's teams are both off-duty today. Carol's redone the run schedule so that there's never a day where all her co-parents are off property at the same time. She knows emergencies or unexpected runs will happen, but the extra care is wonderful.

But Daryl's team isn't back just yet and the regular council meeting is always Friday before supper. Scout considered skipping the meeting, but Jazz arrived with a box of groceries for the cabin. The teenager offered shyly to stay, so it's just him and Lori at the moment. Carl's not back from his building crew duty for the day, and the two little girls are up at Jacqui's playing with Anaya's friends from Terminus.

The lack of people around means that Lori can actually observe Jazz with the baby without any distractions after she leaves Judith in her small bassinet to go to the bathroom. While most of Judith's time is spent skin-to-skin, they've been testing out her temperature regulation here and there with short periods bundled in the bassinet.

Jazz is attentive, leaning in and talking to the baby. It sounds like he's telling her a fairy tale, and the inflections in how he speaks remind her so much of Daryl she just pauses at the end of the hall to listen and watch.

Judith fusses at last, at the end of her tolerance for being away from warm skin and a heartbeat under her ear. Jazz looks initially panicked, but carefully reaches in. The baby looks so tiny in contrast, but quiets a little when she's brought up to have her cheek against his throat.

She realizes then that she's never seen Jazz actually hold any of the babies. He's sat next to people and played with Christian and Matthew, but unlike Carl, who is as bad as the girls on wanting a close cuddle if allowed, Jazz just plays with hands or feet. She might attribute it to his tactile issues, except he allows the elementary aged children to use him as a human-shaped jungle gym.

So, instead of going to fetch the baby, she watches a few more minutes.

He's inexperienced in handling a baby for sure, but careful. When the limited contact doesn't truly soothe Judith, he lays her back in the bassinet for a moment and sheds his henley and undershirt in one movement. The way he hunches in his shoulders worries Lori a little.

"Okay, Judy baby, okay," he croons softly, unzipping the little sleep sack Judith's wearing. Once he gets her settled against his chest, he tugs one of the myriads of fleece blankets over most of his own torso as well as the baby's. "That's better, right?"

Judith, soothed by his heartbeat, just yawns and he kisses her forehead hesitantly. He hums like Daryl's prone to, further soothing the baby that all's right in her world.

Lori steps into view, not liking how Jazz shifts his one bare shoulder more out of view. She's never thought of the teenager having any body image issues, not like Carl, who refused to swim shirtless in the big pond during the warmer weather. Then again, now that she thinks about it, Jazz didn't swim at all.

She fumbled and drops the butter knife where she's finishing off the supper Jazz brought, cursing softly as she retrieves it and rinses it off. She wracks her brain and realizes she's never seen her nephew shirtless or even in shorts, no matter how hot it was.

She lays the knife down and goes to the couch. "Lean forward a bit and I'll drop a blanket around your shoulders," she offers. He does as bid, letting her drape one if the thinner blankets around him and tuck the edges down under the blanket he already has.

"Thank you," he says softly. "I know it's just you and the baby, but I don't like being looked at."

She thinks of his uniforms and practice outfits for sports and feels a little sad for him. "Maybe you can bring a button up here for spending time with the baby." While she thinks he might manage to wear one of Merle's flannel shirts or Shane's, if he didn't try to fasten it, the boy's shoulders are already significantly broader than Daryl's slimmer form.

"I'll remember." He's quiet for a moment. "My hand covers her whole back. I'm afraid I'll squish her."

Lori smiles reassuringly. "Out of everyone here, I think you're least likely to do that, Jazz. And she's about the same size as your lambs when they're born, isn't she?"

"Yeah, but they don't need me to handle them much unless they're sick."

Considering she's seen the teenager do CPR on a newborn lamb, she really isn't worried about the care he'll have for Judith. "Just think of this as her being needy like the sick lambs."

"At least it's soft if she kicks me." He gives her a pale imitation of his usual smile. "You really love her a lot."

"More than anyone else except Carl and Abby." She loves her nephew, but Jazz isn't hers the way her own children are.

"You're a good mom, like Carol."

Lori can't remember the last time she's heard Jazz refer to Carol by her given name. "Carol loves you the same way that I love Judith and Abby and Carl."

"It's the same? With Carl and Abby and the baby?"

Oh. Merle's two youngest children adapted to Carol's mothering so nicely it's easy to forget Jazz spent fifteen years without a mother.

She sits down next to him, taking time with her answer, because she suspects anything said too quickly will be suspect.

"Used to, I would hear women I knew talk about children of choice or bonus children and thought they were being too cute about it. I didn't understand what it would be like, to gain a child without a pregnancy and years of raising them."

"And now?"

"All those feelings that come when a baby does? There was a day just like that with Abby. It wasn't even anything specific like they show in movies. We were just brushing her hair one morning and I just knew she wasn't just Daryl's daughter anymore. Felt it right here," she taps her chest, "the same way I did when they first handed me Carl or Judith."

"People usually love babies, even when they aren't theirs. That's what I always thought about Abby and Uncle Daryl."

"Do you think your father loves Sophia or Jamie any differently than he does the rest of you?" As much as Glenn's a Dixon by adoption by the girls and Carol, Lori suspects Merle's still sorting his relationship there.

Jazz shakes his head.

"Carol would want to be your mother even if she never had a relationship with your father at all." Even in Lori's own angry, resentful stage, she could see that Carol was drawn to the two youngest, motherless Dixons. She knows Carol adores the older of Merle's brood too, but none of them need a mother the way Jazz and Honey do.

"Sophia hopes she'll have a baby like Judith." Jazz's fingers are above the blanket now, smoothing Judith's soft, wavy hair.

"And what do you want?"

"I don't mind either way, but Mama probably will be happier with a baby. She wouldn't leave a baby on a doorstep."

Lori refrains from a pained noise by some level of control she didn't realize she has. She's never asked the details of Jazz's birth after the divorce and just assumed the baby was turned over to the Dixons at the hospital or something. She thinks she might need to get those details, because there's an undertone in his voice she doesn't like.

She reaches out and puts her hand gently over Jazz's atop Judith's head. "None of us would."

He gives her a genuine smile this time.

~*~ Jesus ~*~

Arriving at a new location is always a little nerve wracking for Jesus. At least he's reasonably assured of welcome here, with the Alexandrians leading the way. What they're bringing isn't a big haul by his current standards, since Abraham wasn't willing to clear locations he didn't vet himself on a newcomer's word. So, they doubled back a town and cleared out a small strip center that hosted a pharmacy, a small doctor's office, and a dental office. He's not sure why no one's hit the location, since the dollar store across the street was decimated, but with the pharmacy half-hidden in the curve of the building, maybe it just wasn't noticed.

They still managed foodstuffs by raiding the barely-touched restaurants and the back room at the grocery market. In the end, it allowed them to fill one of the big U-Haul trucks before it got late enough for Aaron and Eric to be concerned about making it home by dark.

Aaron forewarned them that weaponry isn't allowed inside Alexandria, so they stopped just out of range and packed away rifles into the bus. Jesus didn't miss that Honey's thigh holster only disappeared in lieu of the belly band she had the first day they met. He's fairly sure most of the others have similarly hidden small weaponry.

Aaron's discussion at the gate ends and he waves at them to follow him as he walks through the gates and Eric drives their little car off. Jesus pulls the U-Haul to a stop where Aaron directs him to. The three Georgia vehicles are parked a little differently, and he can hear Aaron directing his people that only the U-Haul is supplies as he opens the door.

He slides to the ground and helps Logan follow, while Honey rounds the truck to meet him at the other side. She's assessing the little community analytically, her builder's eye obvious now that Jesus knows her background. Between her and Abraham, they'll probably have a dozen improvements planned in their heads. Hilltop's already making those changes. Gregory is inept in a lot of things, but security improvements are an area he doesn't hesitate on.

"Come meet Deanna," Aaron calls out.

They follow him through town easy enough, arriving at the porch of a house that probably ran in the price range a man like him would never afford. Word's gone ahead, because an officious looking woman is stepping outside to meet them.

It seems this is going to be a Honey-led introduction, because she steps forward as Aaron realizes he doesn't know everyone. She meets the woman's formality with a sweetness that almost rings false.

"We normally do individual interviews for those looking to settle here," Deanna begins. She's obviously puzzles over the youngster taking charge, but willing to acknowledge her, unlike Gregory.

"Oh, no, ma'am, we aren't looking to settle. Aaron just asked for a bit of assistance to take on some larger locations. We have a home to get back on the road for." The emphasis on her accent is a strong reminder that Honey's not from the area. "We're happy to help a few days, maybe have a place to sleep that isn't the caravan, but we're wanting to be back home before the end of the month."

"We still should have little chats."

And that's when Honey's expression changes from sweet and accommodating to a hint of the steel he knows she has. "My people aren't to be separated."

Abraham takes a step closer at the change in tone. He's not in full military gear, but it's hard to miss his background in how he moves and Jesus can tell that Deanna notices it. She's too much of a politician not to recognize it, and Jesus thinks some of the bodyguard mythos Honey spun for her people with the Wolves just leapt into the woman's mind.

Aaron moves to smooth the issue over. "Deanna, I'm sure if they're just here to help out a few days, we can skip the formal interviews. They can stay with Eric and me."

The deciding factor ends up being three of her people approaching with boxes from the pharmacy. "Deanna, we've got months of meds here," one calls out.

"With help, we can get into the bigger locations and have even more," Aaron explains.

The former politician finally nods, going forward to look in one of the boxes. "I recognize the antibiotics. Take these to Pete." The three men hurry off. "You can really do this again?"

Honey nods. "And show your people how."

Deanna sighs, but nods. "I'll leave you to Aaron's care then."

Aaron is quiet for part of the walk to his home. "Deanna means well, but she's firmly of the idea we're the community everyone would want to be a part of. And the interviews are harmless, usually how she assigns jobs."

Honey glances back toward where the woman can still be seen on her porch. "My mother conducts newcomer interviews back home. She's never separated people to do it. It's not how people feel safe among strangers."

"Your mother is the leader at your home?" Aaron's been given even less information about Georgia than Jesus had by this point in meeting them.

"We have a six-person council. Maybe back to seven now, since Patricia had her baby."

Aaron stumbles a little. "You have babies there?" Jesus remembers the feeling of astonishment.

"Two newborns, two due in March, another due in August, and another in September. Plus, my nephew who is a year old."

"Probably a half dozen more on the way by the time we get back," Abraham adds.

"I hope you have medical staff," Aaron manages.

Honey nods. "A fair few, and more training."

"That's good luck. We have two doctors here, but one's a psychiatrist and the other, well, no one would want to train with him."

Jesus still hasn't indicated his community is a separate one and doesn't intend to until he knows these people better. The odds they could even find Honey's home are probably astronomical, but Hilltop's not as far away.

"We started out with a veterinarian and a med school student." Honey grins, the expression disarming as always. "He's still the head of our medical staff."

"Thank God for that," Christopher mutters. "Not sure I would admit to being a nurse if Edwards was in charge."

"He does seem to have all the friendly parts of his personality removed," Honey remarks.

"Sounds like our doctor here." Aaron looks thoughtful.

"And the psychiatrist? They get the same training, more or less."

"She has even less of a bedside manner. Not as abrupt, but not very social."

"Seems a really weird occupation for an introvert, but maybe life was different before for her."

They reach a house similar to Deanna's and Eric is waiting on the porch. Jesus estimates this place is about half the size of Hilltop, making it the smallest community so far. Even the Bay one is running close to Hilltop's population of a hundred with rescues along shorelines as they fish and raid for supplies.

"Welcome to our home," Eric says. He glances at Aaron hesitantly, but the other man steps close to kiss him in greeting.

He hears Honey say something softly that sounds like, "oh, how sweet."

Eric's hesitation slides away when he gets a better look at their guests, because Christopher's arm around Tim's waist can't be mistaken for anything simply friendly. Eric grins and opens the door, welcoming them into his home.

~*~ CP ~*~

"Mama?"

Carol turns from putting away laundry to see Sophia lingering in the doorway. "Do you need something, sweetheart?"

Her daughter sighs and slides her arms around Carol's waist. "Just a hug."

"Alright." Carol holds her tightly, rubbing her back and realizing she can't really refer to her as a little girl much anymore. Her last growth spurt brought her to Carol's height and just the clothing changes she's needed mark the milestone that her body shape finally left the realm of childhood for teenage girl. "Something we need to talk about?"

"Jazz and I broke up."

She doesn't sound very upset, not like the high emotions Merle reported back when the two first became a couple. She wonders how Jazz is doing, although it might explain the work shift he switched out with Jenny today. "How do you feel about that?"

Sophia sighs a little. "Okay. He explained he thinks maybe I just liked him because we met right after we left Ed."

"And what do you think?" At least the answer gives her some insight that maybe Jazz isn't terribly upset.

"That maybe he's right. He was the first boy who ever told me I was pretty."

Carol can understand that being a lure. She thinks her first middle school romance went along the same lines and lasted half as long as Sophia's.

"You are pretty." She brushes at the stray hair escaping Sophia's braids.

"I know that now." Her daughter smiles. "And Jazz may be the prettiest boy I'll ever meet, but he's not the only boy."

Carol stiffens a little. She can definitely see Jazz stepping aside if he thought Sophia's interest lay elsewhere. "Is there another boy you like?"

"No, Mama, I wouldn't do that to Jazz. He's my friend too."

She smiles at her daughter's offended tone. "You two are being very mature about this."

"It's not like he likes someone else better or that I do. We just don't like each other enough." That part sounds almost like she's repeating something, maybe something Jazz said.

"How about we tuck in with a movie? Even if it's a nice break up, a mom and daughter get to lounge around with a movie at times like this."

"Alright. Can I pick it out?" She agrees and trots off to the living room, passing Merle in the hallway.

"What's the excitement about?"

"Jazz and Sophia broke up."

Merle looks back down the hall. "She doesn't seem upset."

"She seems very matter-of-fact about it. Do you know where Jazz is?"

"Caught me after supper to say he was gonna do a Star Trek marathon down at Eugene's."

"He wasn't at supper."

"He ate down at Lori's. Shane mentioned in passing after the meeting that he was helping her with the baby."

"I guess we shouldn't make a big deal out of it if they aren't."

Merle nods in agreement as Sophia comes back with a movie held up in triumph. "Are you going to watch with us, Daddy?"

He glances at the title and laughs. "You sure you don't want just a girls' night of it?"

"Nah. Besides, you can get some tips for Valentine's Day for Mama."

He just laughs and lets himself be led to the alcove. It seems a little lopsided not to check on Jazz, but she reminds herself that her son sought her out when he was upset last time. He isn't looking for parental comfort this time, and meddling might cause upset where none exists.

~*~ LG ~*~

"Daryl?"

He turns his attention from the nursing baby to her, his smile carefree, and Lori hates bringing up a rough subject.

"Was Jazz really left on the doorstep?"

His entire expression changes, caught somewhere between sad and angry, but he nods. "Heard a knock on the door and by the time I got there, car was driving off and he was sitting on the mat in one of those carrier carseats. Had a big bag of supplies and a packet of paperwork."

"Oh my God. How in the hell do you do that?"

"That's what I asked too. Was when Merle was away." Lori's familiar by now with how Daryl refers to Merle's nine months served. "Glynnis was looking after us, since I wasn't old enough to do it legally. She had to make all sorts of arrangements to get the paperwork notarized and signed with him being where he was. Luckily, child services didn't get interested."

He trails his fingers down Judith's delicate little spine. "He was three days old and didn't even have a name, so I named him. Was nearly six months before Merle was home."

She runs her free hand through Daryl's hair, soothing him. In a way, the story's almost worse than she expected. She can't imagine dealing with that at fifteen. But if Merle was away the first six months of Jazz's life, she wonders if that's why the boy often reminds her far more of Daryl than his father.

"Where did you hear it?"

"From Jazz."

Daryl raises up, looking horrified. "He's not supposed to know."

"Somehow he does. He's been worrying about whether or not Carol can love him the way she loves Sophia, when his birth mother didn't."

"You set him straight? He's always known Abby isn't mine by blood. You'd think he would know from that, that Carol can love him that fierce."

"I think he doesn't see it the same, because he's older. So, I told him how one day, just out of the blue, I felt the same about Abby that I did when Carl was born and Judith. And I reminded him of his dad and Jamie and Sophia."

He smiles now, moving in to kiss her without jostling the baby. "You're really good at being an aunt."

She smiles back. "He's the only one who really seems to need one." The older of Merle's kids treat her as a sister-in-law, and Sophia's diverse interests keep her out of Lori's daily range mostly. Once she showed an interest in Jazz's life, the boy's made a point to spend time around her, even trading a cleaning shift for a laundry one permanently. He's actually the first Dixon other than Abby to refer to her as family.

""Bryce's wife was the closest he had to an aunt in his day-to-day life, before. He took it damned hard when she died." Daryl takes Judith to burp her.

Lori remembers Jazz's tighter than normal hug and heartfelt 'love you so much' better today than she did the day Judith was born. She doesn't think being the teenager's favorite aunt will ever be anything other than a sweet gift.