A/N: This chapter gets angsty...we have a return none of you asked for but hopefully you will love to hate to hate to love.
A couple of weeks after our baby shower, I decided to sneak out of work to grab coffee for Alex and me by our favorite café near Artemis that we liked and had recently become trendy. We were still going into the City to the clinic one day a week, just to keep our sanity. Alex rarely let me out of her sight, to the point I had to beg to do a coffee run for us.
"Hey Harley," I hollered as I entered the nearly empty shop if I had looked at anyone other than the café's young queer owner I might have seen someone I used to know walk across the street but as always, I only noticed my friend who looked me up and down until I told her, "Go ahead, you can say it, I'm a house."
"How big are they now," she asked in a supportive, warm tone as she looked down at my bump, not that you could miss it if you tried.
"Big enough," I answered as I rolled my eyes and gritted my teeth.
"I can't imagine having two kids period, let alone at once. You're getting close to the end though, right? I'm surprised they aren't here yet," she replied, I could tell she was trying to be supportive but she was a queer woman who didn't live in the world of queer mothers so she didn't know how wrong what she had just said was. Or at least that's what I reminded myself as I stood there starting to feel my anger bubbling up, or was it a foot and a bit of indigestion?
"Now that I want them to come already they are reminding me of all the times when they were tiny beans that I said I wanted to make it to thirty-seven weeks and I'm almost to thirty-six with no imminent signs of active labor. Can't say I'm surprised, this little girl was so unable to contain herself upon arrival in my womb that she split in two. I'm considering asking to be induced cause I'm tired of all the appointments and so uncomfortable, especially since baby A is so low. I never knew your cervix could hurt. Her head is right there, even Alex said so. She doesn't know how she hasn't managed to start active labor. I'm worried something is wrong or shell never choose to come vaginally. If baby B were the one against my cervix I'd have babies. But the thought of having a home birth at the beach house like I wanted before I found out there were two is still tempting," I declared as I opened myself up to her, hoping she would know I understood and appreciated her attempt at support.
"It is just one extreme or the other with you, isn't it? Either you want the most medicalized birth possible or the least one."
"Yeah. I'm just frustrated and every time I think I've accepted that this pregnancy isn't going the way I wanted it to from the start I realize I haven't and at this point won't. At least I have Alex, even if sometimes her pride at me having twin girls makes me want to kill her. I knew she always wanted a daughter, so I knew how she would be just sometimes I'm not sure which is better now that I've experienced a partner who behaved horribly to me having their baby and another who worships the ground I walk on and can't keep her hands off my belly. She doesn't think the solution to me complaining about how much pain I'm in is sticking her dick in me until I forget how swollen and sore I am like my ex did. By then I knew he wouldn't listen to me saying stop and I worried he might harm me or the baby so I just prayed for it to be over. My comfort never mattered when I was pregnant. He took it as an invitation to fuck me without a condom at his whim. I had something of his inside me so I belonged to him."
"Is she doing that," asked as if she didn't know how Alex doted on me in public. But it wasn't the first time someone questioned the public persona with me and the reputation of the woman I loved.
"She would if I asked her to and only if I ask, which I haven't in two, maybe three months and I kinda miss it. At first, I was worried about trying to carry these girls as long as possible and now I'm so huge I don't even know how it would work. And we haven't been alone since our babymoon nearly ten weeks ago," I explained.
"That was never stopped you two before," she said with a wink as she started preparing two cappuccinos with vanilla.
"Yeah, I know. I think we've fucked in your bathroom more than once."
"I've seen you two do more than that on your lunch dates and don't tell me you guys haven't. You two can't look at each other without eye-fucking," she said with a tinge of reverence.
"I think we're just so nervous about our kids, especially our girls. We want them all to be okay."
"So you forget to make sure you two are? It really is true that doctors make the worst patients. Here are your cappuccinos now go make sure your wife packs her dick in her suitcase. So, I'm guessing maternity leave starts Friday?"
"Yup. I get to have the annoying combo of wife and personal obstetrician following me around like she knows more about my uterus cause she put her baby in it. I love her but if these babies don't kill me first I might just kill her."
"Now, don't go and do that. I'd miss you both too much and orange isn't your color."
"Oh but ghostly pallor is so hers."
"I didn't say it!"
"I know you didn't, I did so you wouldn't have to."
"Love ya, bitch."
"Now is that any way to speak to your favorite customer?"
"I'll call the manager if you want to log a complaint but I sign her paychecks do it won't go very far. Come by when those babies get here."
"If they ever decide to come. They're pretty cozy in there and the doctor is always telling me how surprisingly great their placenta is. It feels like I'll be pregnant forever."
"That's nice, Piper, but I'm trying to run a food establishment and a customer talking about her placenta is not the way to sell pastries," she admonished me in her best manager voice.
"But I thought you didn't like being trendy," I fired back with playful sarcasm.
"You know if that cappuccino goes flat again your wife is gonna come in here spitting fire at everybody but the real culprit, cause her sweet Pipes is all beauty and innocence. And as flighty as a feather."
"And my wife likes that about me."
"She's the only one. Now, go."
I stepped outside and was instantly face to face with my ex-best friend for the first time in nearly a year and a half.
"Piper?"
"Polly," I replied curtly, neither of us moving in for a hug like we would have if things had ended differently between us. We didn't greet each other like we were ever even friends, let alone spent five years living together.
She eyed my tight dress that was straining to hold in my overly swollen breasts and belly, "Looks like you got over the whole Alex thing and pretty quickly I might add. I see a ring on your finger, I think NASA could see the ring on your finger. What did you do fuck one of those Wall Street financial types you claimed to loathe at the gym, get yourself knocked up and decide to marry him to stay in Carol's good graces?"
"Lovely story but why does me being pregnant mean I'm not with Alex?"
"Well, because last I checked, as good as her cock may be at pleasing women for whatever reason, it can't get them pregnant. And that's probably a good thing. The last thing the world needs is one little Alex Vause running around, let alone the army she would leave in the bellies of at least a dozen slutty bitches. Cause you'd have to be pretty desperate and self-hating to want that swamp thing Sasquatch to put a baby in you. A plastic cock is never the same. I mean I like my vibrator as much as the next woman but it's a stand-in when I can't get the real thing."
"But her eggs plus a little sperm sure can."
"I wasn't aware that diseased cunt still made eggs. And why would you want them if it did? They've probably got herpes all over them."
"Why is there this rumor that Alex has herpes?"
"Cause enough of her ex-lovers have it."
"Yes, her slutty exes who I guarantee have another common lover that isn't her," I replied as I stomped my foot as best I could and attempted to pivot my hip.
"Sure, Pipes. Keep telling yourself that. I don't have a problem with you dating a girl, just with dating a walking disease," she asserted.
"She's had things and I know what they are and it doesn't bother me," I told her in a cool, confident tone that was all Alex but somehow coming out of me.
"And I'm sure she told you every single one before you rubbed your pussies together or whatever you do in bed with women and hopefully never tried to do while we were sleeping in the same bed."
"For someone who just claimed to have no problem with my desire for other women you sure seem to have some issues."
"It's weird! You knew you liked girls from the time you were like twelve and you never told me before you helped me change and saw my breasts and we snuggled under the same blanket."
"I loved you like a sister and your tits aren't that good looking. I loved you so much but I can have different types of love for different women. Don't you have straight male friends?"
"Well, yeah but it's not the same. I wouldn't let them see me nearly naked or share an intimate moment with them."
"I can share intimacy with women in both sexual and nonsexual forms. Now that I have Alex and I'm growing our daughters I finally see just how much of a gift that is to be able to share every possible relationship between females," I answered as I subconsciously rubbed my belly and didn't notice until I heard Polly smugly ask, "So that's a little she-devil in there then? Is that thing in your belly even human? Like how pregnant are you? A year? I thought demonic mutant DNA made pregnancies shorter? How many little demons are in there? Or do you even know?"
"Two girls who look just like their beautiful mother."
"I don't know, I'd be asking for a second opinion if I were you cause I've seen women pregnant with twins and you are bigger than any of them. Are you sure there isn't another baby in there?"
"Uhm, yeah. We've had enough ultrasounds and we only put in one embryo, so I wouldn't be this pregnant or at least not walking around if I were carrying identical triplets. They are just off the growth charts for singletons, let alone twins. I'm ready for them to come already. I'm tired of being poked and prodded like a pregnant sow. I want to get back to feeling like this pregnancy is magical so I can enjoy the last few weeks of carrying these girls."
"The way you said that makes me think you plan on doing this again."
"Well, we have sixteen more embryos and evidently I'm good at getting pregnant, the doctors told me I had a perfect uterus, just Larry is bad at his part. Those swimmers are as worthless and lazy as he is."
"I'm still shocked he got you pregnant at all. And you know it wasn't his fault. Women were not meant to be athletes. And you were totally an anorexic alcoholic, cause of course you always have to do Carol one better. You took her alcoholism and raised it with anorexia. I was so certain the DNA test would come back and he wouldn't be the dad. I still say that kid looks and acts nothing like him. I still don't think it's his and neither does Pete. Larry even told Pete once he didn't think it was his, from the first time he saw him. He didn't look like him and Larry said he never felt the pull he thought he would when he had a son. But his parents convinced him if it was his that he had rights and should fight for them before you could take him forever."
"Well, he's gone now and that boy is a mini-Alex in personality and interests. He loves science and books like her and he's so smart. And Alex loves him so much."
"Yeah, I heard Larry went underground for a while. Guess he went on an enlightenment adventure and tried to sell the story, Pete heard about it. He can't get over you leaving him for a woman."
"I didn't leave him for her. I left him because I wanted the best for myself. I wanted more than he could ever give me and I knew I deserved it and so did my son. And there were people in between. I didn't owe either of you my truth a second before I was ready to tell it, no matter how much either of you thinks that I did. I told you both when I was ready. It's not about either of you. I wish I had come out sooner. I wish I'd been couragous enough to tell you when we were in our dorm room our first semester at Smith sharing our secrets over a bottle of tequila we stole from a liquor store but I didn't. I wish I had come out sooner so maybe I would have had more time with Alex, so I might have met her sooner. But of course, I could have met her the second I knew I liked girls and that still wouldn't have been soon enough."
"Or legal."
"Or that. You know I wish things had gone differently. And you could have seen Alex for the woman she is, not the things people say about her."
"Are any of the rumors true?"
"A few of them."
"The one about her being a former whore?"
"You mean sex worker?"
"I'll never call them that. It's not a career."
"Would it really matter? I know the truth and it's not my story to tell. Just know some people do choose that life and they do so for a variety of reasons. Be thankful you've never been in a situation where you felt that your body was all you had to get your basic needs met so you could survive and maybe achieve your dreams without going into debt."
"Whatever she did, it looks like she's doing good for herself. I still don't know how she can afford that ring on a doctor's salary."
"Her hobbies are investing in biotech, pharmaceuticals and real estate in New England college and beach towns. And we're branching out to Florida with her investment firm, opening an office in Jacksonville next year. Medicine is pocket change compared to the money she gets from her investments. And she's a preeminent scholar in her field so she makes a killing on consulting, honorariums and writing. Plus, she just got tenure and a job as director of LGBT medicine for NYU-Langone Medical School and they're looking at expanding her position to oversee the entire NYU hospital/clinic system, possibly even across all five boroughs."
"So none of it came from playing cards? Or drugs?"
"Cards, yes. Drugs, depends. Illegal drugs, no. Legal ones, in a way that exists in a very fuzzy area."
"That doesn't bother you?"
"It paid for a mansion in Great Neck with cash and bought me a Mercedes and a Range Rover, so, no."
"I don't even know who you are anymore. You aren't the same sweet little wide-eyed Connecticut girl I met over a decade ago at Smith. I don't like what that woman has done to you. She's got you living this edgy, high flying lifestyle and she's done everything to make you dependent on her. What happens when you've served your purpose? You know a woman like that is incapable of real love. People serve a purpose to her and once they've served their purpose she thinks nothing of throwing them away like yesterday's paper."
"Well, guess it's a good thing my purpose is to pleasure her and remind her that she is a woman with the same needs as any other."
"And she's not planning on putting eggs in you until she runs out? Who's the daddy or donor, whatever you dykes call the father of your children that negates the existence of the man who created your child's existence. But I guess you're good at that. You already did it once when you were straight. It wasn't enough to take that kid from Larry, you had to take him from his paternal grandparents who loved him too? Make it so he could never have any contact with his paternal side? Just because Alex is fine with not knowing her father or his family doesn't mean Geo will be the same way."
"We want a big family. I don't love being pregnant all the time but I love seeing my babies' faces and feeling them kick and move inside me. I'd do it a dozen times just to feel that moment of bliss, especially now that I have someone I want to share those moments with, someone who makes me feel loved and beautiful when I don't and besides the world could use a few more red-headed, green-eyed babies to up the average. And Geo can choose to contact Larry or his family whenever he wants, they just can't contact him, us or anyone connected to us at any point, even after Geo turns eighteen."
"So why a redhead? I would have thought you would have gone for a donor who resembled you."
"Cause the embryos are older than our son."
"What? I don't get it."
"She froze her eggs in her mid-thirties and because she planned on raising her baby by herself she chose a donor that was basically her type physically but had the inner traits she secretly desired and then I came along and one night after a fight she told me about them, nobody knew at that point. Not even Nicky or mom. Her ex didn't know. It wasn't even in her medical records and she paid cash for everything under a fake name. She didn't want anyone to know and she still doesn't really. Only the people we're closest to even know our children's genetic background and how they came to be is really nobody's business. We don't broadcast it but if somebody asks a direct question we'll give them a direct answer."
"Oh yeah there's nothing to be suspicious about with her. That's so weird. Do your parents know these aren't their granddaughters?"
"They are their grandchildren. They've come to see that love not biology makes a family from watching Alex with Geo and seeing how my face lights up when I talk about carrying Alex's babies or give them an update. They are hands-off about the pregnancy part but that's their way. They've never once said these kids weren't part of the family and Celeste one hundred percent considers these kids Chapmans and since she's in charge of the family and its money, her say is the only one that matters. Now, I really have to get back to my wife before she gets worried. I hope someday you can learn to be less narrow-minded and fake. I really do hate people like you who think they're so progressive but really are no different from our parents' generation. You never really do anything daring. You're always chasing the next fad and judging the neighbors like our parents did except from Brooklyn, which people like you have turned into another Manhattan suburb. I'm fighting for something and fighting against something. Yeah, I'm still a suburban doctor's wife but I've found a way to do it without sacrificing a part of myself. I'm a proud bisexual athlete, a mother and married to the love of my life. And she loves me like I never thought anybody ever would and never tries to clip my wings or put me into a box. Even better, through her, I've found a group of people who love me and Geo the same way she does. I have a good life and someday you are going to see that your choice to let your small-mindedness and need to fit into some ideal get in the way of being a part of the amazing life I've built over the past nearly two years that doesn't include you is the worst choice you ever made. But I won't be here to forgive you. I hope someday you can see past the surface level of someone who doesn't share your childhood and familial background. That you can love someone for their heart. But I don't think you ever will. And it no longer hurts," I said as I turned and walked away before she could respond, hoping that I could walk the two blocks to Artemis before the dam broke and she could figure out I was bluffing about the last part. I meant every word before it but that last sentence was the WASP who was taught not to cry in front of anyone. To bury it alone after the kids were in bed with a hidden bottle above the fridge. Besides, I didn't want to give her the satisfaction of Polly seeing me fall apart. All I could think as I walked as fast as I could with forty extra pounds on my thin frame was I have to get to Alex.
I got in and banged in the door code as fast as possible as I sucked in as much air as my lungs would allow me to and blinked back the tears that were threatening to explode from my eyes.
"Hey, College, what's wrong," Nicky declared from her spot at the front desk.
"What? Why? Where?"
"Nice to see you too. Good to know I'm still second best to both of you. Heaven forbid that changed. Keely stepped out for lunch and I was supposed to have a client but I think at this point she's a no-show again. And it looks like somebody needs my services more. C'mon, I'll bill the wife later."
"Where is Alex?"
"You're starting to sound like a broken record, other Vause. I'm offering to help you but you don't care."
"I just really need my wife right now."
"Well, she's on a conference call but I'll page her and in the meantime, we can step into my office and discuss why you are trembling in the lobby looking like your legs are about to give out from underneath you. C'mon, you know I love you. Besides, if you are this messed up it'll probably be better for all three of us if I can help soften the blow with the wife, cause you know how she is."
"Yeah."
"C'mon I'll help you upstairs. I'm amazed you're still waddling around with all that baby shit in your belly."
"Me too," I answered as I took Nicky's arm and let her guide me into her office and help me onto my side on the couch.
"You want some water," she asked as she grabbed two cans of lemon Pellegrino from her mini-fridge behind her desk.
"Yeah, but do you have regular water? These girls have not been fans of Mommy having carbonation lately."
"Yeah cause there's not enough room for the two of them plus gas in your abdominal cavity."
"Quit it, Nicky! I'm really not in the mood for your teasing right now. I thought you wanted to listen."
"Yeah, I do. Sorry, I just don't get why a queer woman would want to be pregnant. I always thought one of the pluses of fucking chicks was that it is the one guaranteed way to have all the sex you want, whenever you want without becoming a mother."
"Evidently I did it wrong, cause my girlfriend got me pregnant quicker than my boyfriend did and if I didn't have a kid already I would have let her get me pregnant way sooner."
"Tell me something we don't all know."
"Well, not everybody knows that part, just you."
"I feel so special. So what happened? Did some lost asshole forget that the Village is still the gayborhood even after all these years of the straights tryna push the queers out with their preschools and boutiques?"
"I ran into Polly."
"Oh, shit. That is nuclear. Now I apologize for my teasing."
"Wow, you, apologize?"
"Yeah, you're the lucky fucker who gets to hear Vause whisper sweet nothings into your ear and hear Nichols say I'm sorry. Enjoy your life in the quite literal lap of luxury. So just how much of a bitch was she on a scale of one to cunt?"
"What's beyond cunt?"
"Oh, wow. I don't even know but if anybody could manage to be that big of a cuntface bitch it would be her. Fuckin' shit, sometimes I want to go down to Brighton Beach and use what little Russian I know to take care of that little bitch once and for all. I didn't think anyone in existence could be worse than Silvia. She was just angry and not completely unjustifiably so. But she also acted like she was the only one who knew what it felt like to fall deeply in love with Alex Vause, see how wonderful she is and not have those feelings returned to the same level. Hello, I exist too and Vause actually did say she loved me but she wasn't satisfied by me. We're both tops, that would never work. And she was too chicken shit to say I want kids and respect that you don't and never will, whether biologically or not. I don't get it but I would have helped her shoot herself up with hormones and held her hand through the tests and retrieval. Held her through the failed cycles. And I wasn't ready for the level of seriousness she wanted and I'm still not. I'm not sure I ever will be. But don't tell Lorna that, she has a freaking Bora Bora wedding vision board and I want to want to be on it."
"Geez, and they say I'm the self-obsessed one."
"Yeah comes with the territory, Jewish money and Protestant money is still the same horrid shade of green. Now what did the bitch say."
"Where to start? You wanna hear what she said about Alex, me, our daughters or our son?"
"Begin at the beginning. What rumors bled out of the Park Slope dyke community into Breederville this time?"
"Nothing new. The same old tired one about her having herpes."
"Ha, that dead horse? She had shingles in med school and it's reoccurred a couple of times since. It's not the same herpes. Ridiculous cunts. I mean there's plenty of worthy rumors one could start about Vause but that isn't one."
"Yeah like she's all soft and melty center? And she can build a damn good Hot Wheel track and explain the physics behind it so good it makes our son forget about the cars he wanted to play with. They'll spend hours just building tracks that never see a car. Alex has already pulled out a bunch of experiments from her physics courses cause he has a natural aptitude for it."
"Those would be preferable but you know she'd never let anybody know just how soft and fragile she is. That couldn't have been it cause we've laughed together over that rumor since if anyone was gonna get herpes from Vause it would be us, cause nobody including Silvia has slept with her more times than we have and been allowed to do the things we have."
"Yeah, don't remind me."
"I could say the same thing about your swollen belly courtesy of Vause, reminding me what fucking her has the power to do."
"Well, this didn't come from just taking her cock on the right night. Although she did fuck be like she knew she was about to put a baby in me."
"Yeah but she still stuck something in your vagina that I don't want her sticking in mine but she could have. I can imagine her being all, 'hey, girl let me put my baby in you' as she's pounding your pussy and telling you how good you're making her dick feel, working you to the point of no return, until it's too good to ever let her pull out of your fertile cunt until she's filled you up with everything she has."
"Are you saying if she hadn't met me and you found out about the embryos you would have?"
"Between us, as long as she promised to take the little bastard off my hands the moment it was cut out and it never sees my tits, yeah cause that's what a real best friend and sister does."
"I know Polly would never have had a baby for me if I had been in Alex's position. Hell, Polly would never have had a baby for herself if she didn't have this never-ending need to compete with me and do whatever I did."
"Except bringing home chicks."
"Oh, she brought plenty of girls home just not for the same reason. She never did figure out why I only ever had one girl at a time over and when I did we spent most of our time in my room. She even once said she didn't understand why I only ever had girls spend the night in my room or that she would never let a sober girl sleep in her bed."
"Yeah, I'm still not buying the whole bisexual thing."
"I have crushes on both, even if I'm more attracted to feminine energy."
"Okay, you lez. So what else did Polly say about our favorite subject?"
"She said she heard Alex was a whore because I guess it's gotten around that she did sex work."
"Pardon me, I have to go order a prison hit. Cause somebody broke our deal and knows the consequences," Nicky said in a tone I wasn't sure if it was sarcastic or a real threat. "She better hope her ass never gets out of prison, she's safer in than out where we can get to her," Nicky added.
"Yeah, cause you could take a life?"
"And you could?"
"For Alex or you and if it were one of the cuntiest of the cunts I could and I would. The world would be a better place if those two pieces of primordial ooze weren't in it. But Alex and Red need me around, of course, they say it's to help run their respective businesses but we both know that's bullshit. Those are two stoic, powerful women who aren't used to having anybody else meet their needs. They've had to fight and build everything they have with hard work and persistence. Nobody helped them, they've had a series of lucky breaks, but they've helped plenty of scared young women have better lives. So we have the herpes and whore rumors taken care of, what else did she have to say? What could have hurt you so much cause so far everything she's said is shit we've laughed about when nobody is around."
"Well, she assumed that I dumped Alex and proceeded to fuck a rich dude who got me pregnant at the first available opportunity so I decided to marry him. She knows I'd never marry someone just cause they got me pregnant, she was there more than once when Larry tried to get me to marry him. So I told her I was having Alex's twin daughters and that really set her off."
"Yeah, it seems every time I go to the bars lately I hear some chick talking about how another one of Vause's paramours has gotten herself knocked up and how she needs to stop fucking fresh meat. I think if they knew the truth it would really make things boil over."
"Oh, but it would make for such a fun New York Pride."
"And Vause would hate it."
"But we'd love it."
"You are one twisted little creature but you tickle me and you make Vause more palatable so I love ya. Continue. Vause should be down soon."
"She couldn't believe that Alex could afford to buy the ring on my finger and she said that Alex's money must come from cards and illicit drugs. She loves to play poker and as long as she knows when to fold and she's still an attentive partner I don't care. She's smart with her money, she knows how to spin straw into gold. She said she didn't even know who I was anymore and that I wasn't the same person. Because I don't really care how the bills get paid as long as they get paid and I don't think my kids need a father in their lives. And she had the nerve to blame it on Alex and claim I stole Geo away from his father and paternal grandparents."
"The ones who abused you and him? People like the three of them don't deserve people as wonderful and sweet as you and my little nephew. I know some things about Larry's parents that I don't even think either of you do. You forget me and him come from the same pond, as much as I shudder at the thought, I just tell myself he comes from the swampier end. My dad knows Larry's and had some things to say. I didn't tell him why I asked if he knew of the Bloom family. And it wasn't good. They think they're well-liked but everybody talks about how worthless their son is. At least people have forgotten my junkie past or when I was the kept girl of a rich older woman who had sex with half of Manhattan then came home to her little plaything now that I got my life together and I'm that woman's sister and best friend instead of her toy. Nobody likes the Blooms and they really don't like their only child."
"Why are you and Alex still friends? Why did you two survive so much shit and my closest friendship, the sisterhood I found couldn't survive an open secret coming to light when I was ready? She's seriously mad that I didn't tell her the first semester of college when we got drunk and shared our deepest secrets, or she did anyway. I didn't tell her but I didn't really think I had to when some tall hot older girl was wearing nothing but my t-shirt lying in my bed earlier that morning," I asked as I changed the subject from Larry back to a subject I actually was curious about.
"You know that wasn't the truth. You told her but back then you didn't know the words in your head for the things you felt in your heart."
"I had the words just I was no better at saying them then Alex was at asking me out on a date when she knew she was falling for me."
"You both have your hang-ups and your traumas. But it looks like you've both gotten over them judging from the belly full of baby you've got under your dress that I've seen you wear every day for the last nine days."
"You try finding clothes that fit when you're measuring at 41 weeks pregnant."
"That's a problem that shall remain uniquely yours," she told me as she smoothed her hands through my hair and kissed my forehead.
"Well, well. Still tryna steal my girls, Nicks," Alex exclaimed as she leaned against the door frame.
"Hey, Vause. How long have you been there, " Nicky gulped.
"Long enough. So why are you playing with my wife's hair and kissing her?"
"Cause she's my sister and I was trying to comfort her until you got here. Believe me, I want no part in this," she circled my bump with her belly, and I chuckled as I recalled her secret confession she made moments earlier, "I'll play auntie but the second they need a diaper change I'm handing them off to the closest person around who participated in making them. Believe me, she came in here still asking for you even after I told her I was free but you weren't. That girl only has eyes for you. Now focus, Boss. Your heavily pregnant wife is a soggy mess and needs her wife."
I watched Alex grab a box of Kleenexes as she crossed the room to the sofa where I was lying on Nicky's lap with tears staining my cheeks before kneeling on the floor in front of me and looking into my eyes as I completely burst open the second the pads of her fingers touched my skin.
"Your…your coffee got cold an...an...and is pro-lly flat now."
"You think I care? Babe, I love my coffee but I love you more. What's wrong?"
"Polly, " I barely squeaked out.
"I thought she was ancient history, " Alex stated as she rubbed my arm and I collapsed deeper into her embrace.
"She is. But she saw me at the coffee shop. She thought I went back to men cause I'm obviously very pregnant and when she found out I was still with you she got vicious and said some awful things. She called you a disease and basically said I was carrying the spawn of Satan. And that I hurt Larry cause I stole Geo from his family and just because you don't see the need for a connection with your paternal side doesn't mean he won't. And she said I was a totally different person because I like having nice things and a woman who adores and cherishes me. It hurts so much. Have I changed? Money and status didn't use to matter but now that I have it, I like my life and I'd do anything to keep it. She thinks it should bother me that you're all into sex both personally and professionally or that you like to play cards. That I shouldn't want to be with someone who is so in command of her sexuality and free with it or who has made a fortune through some morally grey dealings. And I still think she's got some sort of jealousy or anger or resentment because I didn't tell her about my sexuality ten years before I did. She thinks I lied to her for ten years and also that I'm still lying about this person I now being the truest version of Piper. Like, make up your mind cause I can't be lying both times. And I never said I didn't like girls. I just didn't think I owed her anything when I was trying to enjoy what I was certain would be the only chance in my life to have anything resembling intimacy with another woman. And I knew or thought I did, that I'd always have Polly and for a while I tried to be like normal girls and convince myself that was enough and then I'd see a pretty girl and my adolescent hormones would take over and I'd find myself wanting to feel her body close to mine and I was reminded that I could never be that girl I wanted to be. I don't know how to get her to understand that pain. That fight. To really imagine what truly going against the grain of the world we were raised to inherit. I figured I'd just be one of those secretly bisexual women who found joy from her kids and husband who didn't even know his wife checked out girls more than she did guys and didn't care that he didn't want sex very often."
"I still don't understand why straight people think we owe them anything. Like she should have been first to find out. Yeah, cause she woulda been so cool with it, " Alex said sarcastically as she held me tight and my hand grasped her shirt with all its strength.
"You chose the person you felt safest with telling first, " Nicky added.
"Yeah, I guess," I teased as Alex smiled while giving me the glare she saved only for me, the one that said, 'Piper, you're adorable but cut it out, now,' before kissing me until I gave into her attempts to make it steamy.
"Well, that's my cue. You got this messy little soggy ball of cuteness?"
"Yeah. I got her, Nicks. Thanks for making me aware I had one to deal with and for helping."
"Just do me a favor, Vause, and don't fuck your wife on my couch."
"I haven't even fucked my wife on any of my couches in months, so I think yours is safe."
"Yeah we need to change that," I said weakly as Nicky rolled her eyes, sighed loudly and closed the door, "Come up here." Alex teasingly started to sit at my feet as she had done for weeks, daring me to be more explicit about where I wanted her. "Not there."
"What you suddenly stop enjoying getting your feet rubbed," she teased as she slipped off my heels, "I mean c'mon you're lucky to be married to someone who knows all the places to touch and not to and when you're nervous knows how to use a heart monitor, feel for positioning of multiples or check your cervix."
"Oh, I do love it. It's just not where I want you."
"Oh, and where would that be, sweetheart?"
"I want my head between your legs preferably without your black slacks and that red thong I saw you put on this morning but you think I didn't. I know you've been wearing thongs every day lately but you don't think I know. As if we don't get dressed and undressed together."
"Oh, I knew you knew, I was just waiting for you to do something about it because I'm not going to stoop to the level of what you think you have to accept in life, I always told you I would never force you to do anything and I know what you went through and how that scarred you."
"Before I ran into Polly I was talking to Harley about how much I missed your cock."
"So you can tell every other woman around us but me how you're really feeling, is that any way to start a marriage?"
"Harley is our friend and you know it's still hard for me to talk about that."
"But you can do it in public, just not our bedroom where such topics are completely appropriate."
"What can I say we can both be a pussy sometimes when it comes to big things. I spent so long with the doctors telling me I couldn't and you not saying anything to the contrary and now that we can, well I don't even want to see myself naked and I can't imagine you would be able to get it up with this oversized belly in the way."
"Oh, I totally can."
"But we promised Nicky."
"Yes. C'mon if any two chicks could figure it out would be us. Unless...it's not what you want," she teased with a look that burned through me worse than any heartburn her daughters had caused me over the past eight and a half months.
"Is that really how you wanna waste your last moments of peace before we become mothers of three?"
"You have a better idea?"
"As long as at some point I get to ride your cock and maybe fuck your tits, not really."
"God I'd let you do that right now," Alex teased as she unbuttoned her collared white shirt and revealed her breasts spilling out of her red and black lace bra like they did when they were aroused.
"But-"
"Wouldn't be the first time and besides I can just buy her another couch and it's not like we're gonna get cum on her couch so she'll never know."
"I'm a mess and I know you're only offering me your tits to distract me and make me feel better."
"No, I'm doing it because I want to. I could always get mad at you for not following a simple command and delivering my coffee and punish you by plunging your head into my tits, force you to titty-fuck me as punishment if that's what it takes. Since you seem to be focusing on all the wrong things."
"It's so hard," I hesistantly reached out my fingertips to push her wisps of hair that were spilling out of her messy bun behind her shoulders.
"Try for me," she responded as she ran her fingers along the black and red lace, making it impossible to focus on anything else. With a little help and asking few times "are you sure I'm not crushing the shit out of your legs," I climbed onto her lap and pulled her shirt off, followed closely by her bra before my tongue danced along her neck, shoulders and down her chest until I arrived at her breasts and my fingers found enough space between us to unbutton her pants without having to look and rubbed her clit while her moans filled the room despite her best efforts to hold them back.
"And I'm the noisy one," I teased when I finally let go of her marzipan nipples and kissed that spot where her cleavage started that I loved so much and had only ever known my mouth as she sighed.
"I think you need some more pointers on that."
"Why Alex Vause, are you saying you want to fuck my preggo tits that are slowly starting to make milk for our children?"
"Hell yes. And you are the kinky little thing that wants it as much as I do."
"You are such a nasty woman."
"And yet you're still here."
"Yeah, 'cause there's nowhere else I wanna go right now," I teased as I pulled my tits out of my wrap dress with it's plunging neckline as Alex's eyes became as big as saucers, which incidentally was also the size of my darkened nipples, "You think you know more about pleasuring tits than I do then welcome to the landmines that are my overly sensitive, swollen tits. Have fun, don't cause me pain and don't you dare make these babies have their birthday before mine it'll be the last time I let you play with my tits."
"Don't worry, I'm a professional. I know everything there is to know about women and their bodies."
"Then prove it."
"Are you challenging me, are you…challenging…me?"
"Usually that is why one says 'then prove it.'"
"You know how I am with challenges."
"I have no clue. Remind me what happens when a horny, hormonal Piper challenges your dominance."
"That's a lot of talk for a woman in your current condition," she teased as she pushed up my skirt, "No panties?"
"Yeah and if I told you why you wouldn't want to fuck me anymore, maybe ever."
"I know why and look at my finger," she teased as she swiped between my legs and leaned in to kiss me with both passion and reassurance as her lips and fingers moved lower in tandem and she wrapped her other arm around my back to steady me as she made love to me and I left a stain on her slacks but she just laughed and said, "oh, well. It was totally worth it. Let's go home. "
"You really wanna do that? But work."
"I don't have patients or students and any work I do have I can do from anywhere. I'm supposed to have been on full maternity leave for a week already anyway. Let's go home and cuddle. Naked."
"I will never say no to that proposal. C'mon preggo, I guess I'll help you up since I got you into this state and all."
"Now, you're just trying to get to me but I know you're fooling around, so it won't work," I responded as I watched her spray air freshener before we slowly walked down the stairs and to our black Range Rover. I knew that I was sadder for Polly than I was for me because she would never see the two women who took me in and gave me so much love until I couldn't help but love every bit of myself, even if I was imperfect. No matter what they loved me unconditionally.
