Hey troopers, another chapter! Enjoy! ;)

Chapter 60: Deciding to end it all

Sasha

The tunnel goes underground to the point where my ears pop before it goes up. There's an underground lake and a hole in the 'ceiling'. Sunlight pours in onto the water, reflecting figures on the stone walls. There's a small island only eight feet wide in the middle. Levy floats above it, faced towards the sunlight, her head and arms hanging down, her eyes closed.

On a stone at the edge of the water sits Lucy, her knees pulled up to her chin. I expected Rinsley and Beth to be here as well, but they're not around.

When she hears our footsteps nearing, Lucy turns around to look. 'Why are you here? Did something happen?'

'Gajeel sent us back,' Rose says, not hiding her despise for the plan at all, 'we're here to help protect the vessel.'

Lucy lifts an eyebrow. 'Her name's Levy.'

Rose looks at the floating girl. 'Right. Sorry.'

Lucy stands up, pets the dirt off her pants and sighs. 'Me too. I'm just tired.'

'Take a rest, then,' I say, 'we'll keep watch. Caroline can contact you if anything happens.' My best friend avoids my eyes, but nods.

'Thanks,' says Lucy, but she doesn't leave just yet. She looks at us for a minute. 'And I want to apologize. I've been a little grumpy, lately, with everything going on. I'm just worried for my friend, and I can't imagine what this is like for you guys, after what you've lost.' She's not much older than us, but she sounds much wiser. I've only seen her a bunch of times and heard stuff about the Grand Magic Games, but I've never actually spoken to her. She seems nice.

Despite her exhaustion, she smiles and lifts a thumbs up. 'We'll fix it.'

Then she leaves. Our group, consisting of Martin, Rose, Tilly, Caroline and her boyfriend, whom I haven't spoken to yet, scatters around the underground lake. Everyone's just kind of bummed out.

I sit down where Lucy sat earlier. My mind wanders immediately back to the moment I slapped Samdy in the face. I didn't mean to. Or maybe I did, because he reminded me of what he used to be like.

Perhaps I want him to be someone else.

It's just such a shame, because I felt we were getting somewhere. We teamed up inside the Curse, explored the Town together. Since we were wearing weird, traditional nineteenth/twentieth century clothing we acted more formal than we were.

Samdy held out his arm and I hooked mine into it. 'M'lady.'

'No,' I said, already laughing, 'we're not doing that.'

'Miss Grimm, then.'

'No!'

A few heads of the townsfolk turned and they wished us a good day. Samdy gave them a kind nod and touched the cap of his top hat.

'You are enjoying this way too much,' I said. He shrugged.

'It's just some weird roleplaying. I dig it.' He looked at me. 'I missed you.'

I nodded to another couple passing my. I already started thinking in couples. Not good. 'Can't say I don't feel the same.'

'Which means...you did missed me too?'

We walked into a small alley where laundry hang between the houses. Children were running after one another, laughing.

'Maybe a little.' I was very aware of how close I was to him, with our arms hooked into each other and all, and the small alleyway forced us nearer. I felt like I was walking into a trap.

But this was all a dream. This Samdy was also the childish, boiled up, spat out boy that just wouldn't listen to whatever I said. Always thinking he was right, doing his own thing, risking his life. And others.

At the end of the alleyway, Samdy stopped, which forced me to stop as well. He unhooked his arm but instead took my hands in his. He looked at them, they were gloved. 'Look. I'm sorry, for everything.'

I looked at his hands. 'Could you be more specific?'

'I'm sorry for how I acted.'

'Are you, now?'

'Yes. And for all the times I didn't tell you what was going on. I just...I don't know.'

'We all have secrets, Sam, but this was different. You didn't talk to me. At all.'

'I know. I'm working on it.'

I looked at him. His hair got longer, the bags under his eyes darker. He seemed worse than when I last saw him. 'Is this your way of asking if I want to try again?'

He looked up, his eyes barely peeking out underneath his hat. 'Something like that.'

If he leaned in for a kiss, I wouldn't know what I would've done. Maybe pulled away. But he didn't do it, and I was glad. He might've actually learned, might've dropped the manipulative acts.

But that's just one thing of many.

'I just need some time,' I said. He pulled his eyes down, but nodded.

'I understand.'

There were footsteps. A round man in a black suit and tie emerged. 'Excuse me, young ones. I do hope sincerely I am not interrupting the tender moment between husband and wife, but if I could only pass by-'

After he said 'husband and wife', Samdy and I let go of each other's hands and took a step away from each other. But neither of us spoke against it.

'Good day!' the man said, and we waited till he was out the other side of the alleyway before we spoke.

'You should keep your own name, though,' Samdy said.

'What?'

'Sasha Janz just doesn't sound right.'

I poked him in his ribs. 'Shut up.'

We spent some more time wandering around town and I could swear by the time we headed back into the forest I was in love again. But all that was thrown out the window the second he threw another tantrum, in front of the whole class. He hurt Caroline, whom he knows is my best friend. I can't let that slide.

'Hey,' says a voice, and I'm back in the cave. Levy is still floating above the water. There's the sound of dripping somewhere, and soft conversations echoing between the walls. Caroline sits next to me, a frown between her eyebrows. 'Are you OK?'

We haven't really talked since we've seen each other again after so many years. Sometimes she feels like a complete stranger to me. And that weird husband of hers.

But I still can't lie to her. 'Nope.'

She pulls me into a hug and I let her. 'It's OK. I'm over it already. I actually think he's right.'

I rest my chin on her shoulder and it takes me a few seconds to realize what she's saying. 'We're talking about Samdy, right?'

She sighs and her warm breath tickles over my shirt. 'Unfortunately, yes.'

We let go of one another and I look her in the eyes. 'He doesn't know what he's saying. He only thinks about himself. He's-'

My voice gets louder and I stop myself when a few heads turn. Caroline takes my hand. 'Let's go somewhere else.'

We go back into the tunnel, till we see the daylight emerging at the other side. We don't step out, but sit down just before the entrance, still hidden in the shadows. I sit down against one wall, Caroline opposite of me. 'Mark wants to postpone the wedding.'

'What?' I say, more as an initial reaction then of sympathy. 'Why?'

Caroline looks at the engagement ring around her finger and moves it around. 'It's not that he doesn't love me. He does, and I love him. But he thinks my mind is too fuzzy right now.'

I'm not sure what to say. Mark seems like a straight-forward guy, and if Caroline wants to marry him, that's her decision, but I am allowed to think it's a stupid idea.

Caroline hides her face in her hands. 'This is so dumb. And we have a kid together.'

Eighteen years old and a child, barely an adult herself. It's ridiculous.

'I don't know what to do,' says Caroline, her voice muffled by her palms. She's almost asking me what she should do, but I have no idea.

I lean forward and lay a hand on one of her knees, just so she knows I'm there. 'You wanna know what I think?'

She's almost sobbing. 'Should I?'

'I think you do. Honestly: you coming here just shows you're not completely over Ibisan. And that's not strange. Not at all. What happened to him is just to bizarre for anyone to handle. You might've rushed yourself into some other relationship, but that's not all bad, is it? You love this Marco-'

'Mark. His name is Mark.'

'Oh. But Marco sounds so much better, though. Mark is kind of...bleh.'

Caroline laughs a little, but still hides her face. 'Perhaps a little.'

'But what I wanted to say, is that it's not a bad thing to, just, not get married when you're eighteen. This isn't the Dark Ages. Besides, your child has bound you to your Mark for the rest of your life.'

Caroline's breathing calms down, from sobbing to a normal pace. 'You could almost say he marked me.' She looks between her fingers. 'Get it?'

'Not hard to miss.' We laugh a little. 'And if he's being difficult, just tell him it's my fault you guys are here. I wrote you a letter.'

Caroline dries her hands on her sleeves. 'Yes. Thanks for that, by the way.' She takes a deep breath. Her makeup is all over the place. 'How do I look?'

'Honestly?'

'Maybe not.'

'Just fine, then.'

'You witch.'

Kai

I hate the grass. I hate the flowers. I hate the trees. I hate the blue sky and the sun. I hate the streaming river and the shimmering stones at the banks. I hate the happy people in the town. I hate their 'good mornings' and their carefree smiles. I hate the way they dress. I hate the houses they live in, the colour of the stones and the bright painted windows.

It all started with the first step into this dream reality. Immediately I knew I hated every single atom of it. It faded a little after Jake arrived, but the thought of having to spend another lifetime inside one of these realities makes me sick. I'd rather go back to living imprisoned in my own body, the slave of a demon.

(Although, that might be a bit much.)

What I really want is to be free. To live. Explore. I haven't seen the real world in four years. I haven't felt the sun on my skin, the breeze in my hair, or something stupid like that.

And poor Jake. I know he tries. But I just can't take this anymore.

I've been running forever now, it seems, but I don't feel tired at all. I'm here in spirit, after all. I've gone up a hill. When I turn around I can see the village, the forest surrounding it and even further the mountains at the edge of the Curse. Knowing none of it is real makes the things missing even more apparent, like wind or the singing of birds. The entire dream reality is surrounded by a chain of mountains with snowy peaks, which disappear into the clouds. I imagine at the other side there only is blank space, an empty sheet of paper.

I've walked for a long time, but I'm not even close to the start of the mountains. Perhaps it's impossible to get closer, another rule of this reality.

I sit down on top of the hill. I feel a little guilty for my dramatic exit just now. Jacob is doing everything he can. The way I spoke to him, I sounded more like a child not getting their candy than….well, whatever I am now.

If this Curse gets broken, I'll be gone. That's what's important now. Jake has to find out a way to keep me, Lily and Layton from disappearing when it happens. And that's what weird about it.

Lily and Layton are dead. I'm not. (Am I?)

Jake's voice sounds between the trees. There rustling here and there and I spot him, a tiny man, almost a Lego figure. He puts both hands around his mouth and shouts my name. Then he kicks a fallen tree trunk. He looks old.

Perhaps it might be better if I'm dead.

'Shut up,' I say, but there isn't any other voice in my head. It's just me. Not a demon. That is my thought.

Maybe it's better to be dead.

Jake is pushing himself to the edge, sacrificing himself in order to help me and he's getting nothing in return. Whatever is going on between us (if there even is a 'between us'), it's keeping him from living his own life. It's draining him. He looks almost older than Gajeel, who is only a few years our senior.

It's ridiculous.

As if he senses where I'm sitting, he locks eyes with me. Still a small Lego man. It's a weird sensation, like finding a bird's nest high up in a tree.

Jake looks relieved. He walks in a normal pace, nearing the hill. I wait.

Despite this being a dream reality, Jake seems exhausted when he reaches the top. He leans on his knees and breathes heavily. He sits down. He's wearing his own cloaks again, not the clothing the townspeople prefer. He pulls the hood of it over his head.

'Hey,' he says. 'You come here often?'

'Not by choice.'

He snorts. 'Same. Let's get out of here.'

I can't see his face but I still stare. 'What?'

'Go away. I can open a portal. That's what you want, right?'

My first response would be yes, but something's off. 'What are you on about?'

'This isn't working for you, right? I can get you out of here, figure out another solution. Trust me, I can open a portal and-'

'No. It's OK.'

He sighs. 'It's not. Don't compromise yourself for me.'

I can't help but laugh, it's not even funny. 'Look who's talking. You're the one killing yourself. And you're making me watch.'

Jake lifts a hand. The veins seem to almost pop out of his skin. 'This? It's fixable.'

'Yeah, if you just stop.'

Now he turns around. And he is angry. 'Are you kidding me? After we've gotten this far?'

'Far?' I gesture to the dreamlike view of the valley. 'You call this far? The only progress you've made is the sacrifice of your body. Really, I am so thankful for what you've done for me over the past few years, but at some point it's enough.'

He seems to get older the longer he stares at me. He's hurt. 'Don't talk to me like we're strangers.'

I feel like touching him, maybe taking his hand, but I don't. 'I'm not. I'm saying this because I care about you. It's time to stop. You've given yourself this mission to save me, but at some point you have to admit it's not working.' I'm getting emotional. 'I'm asking you to give up.'

To pull the plug. To decide it's ending.

Jake's lower lip quivers. There's a soft gurgle coming from his throat, as if I'm choking him. I might as well have slapped him in the face. He looks terrified.

Then he shakes his head. 'You don't mean that.'

'I do. I want you to give up.'

He shakes his head even faster. 'No.'

I look up to the filthy blue sky, the perfect blue sky with perfect clouds and a perfect sun, but it doesn't keep my eyes from overflowing. 'Please.'

Greg

'Did he buy it?'

'He didn't even see it.'

'How could he miss that?'

'He's a kid, he's, like, two inches tall.'

'He's actually a grown man.'

'Wow, I almost forgot about that.'

'I know, right? He's a grown man inside of a small boy.'

'Please don't say it like that.'

'Like what? Oh, wait, I hear it.'

'Yeah. Gross.'

Ary clears her throat, so loud that if there were any birds they would be fleeing right now. Floyd and I immediately shut our mouths, but the kid, Doki, is so excited about his 'magic' that he apparently didn't hear us.

'As I was saying before,' says Ary, loud enough so we can hear her, 'you point at the object, think about what you want it to do, then say what you want it to do. Don't whisper, otherwise it won't work.'

Doki nods and stares at a tree branch as if he wants his eyes to cut right through it. He has his hands made in fists and bites his teeth down hard.

I guess we can appreciate the effort. We try timing the lifting of objects with the second he says it, but we are either too soon or too late. Sometimes he doesn't speak loud enough, sometimes he turns his head to get a confirming nod from Ary that he did good. He needs to believe in himself first before he can believe in magic, which is just so tiring. So it's not going great so far.

Doki lifts his arm, and we have to guess what he's pointing at exactly, before we throw out a net. 'Up!'

The invisible net wraps itself around the wood, but we realise too late we can't actually lift the thing. We can only move it right and left. Ary sees it too and I can tell she's trying her hardest not to look at us.

So again, nothing happens. Doki lets his arms hang. 'Darn. I really thought I got it this time.'

Ary kneels down so their faces are at the same height. 'But you are doing very good so far. Let's make it a little easier-'

'Again?' says Doki, and he crosses his arms. 'If I'm doing so good, why haven't I done it then? Why do we have to make it even more easy? I'm not a baby, I can do stuff.'

Ary is slightly losing her patience, I can tell. 'You are definitely not a baby, you are a mage in training. Magic is a very personal thing, it has to adjust to every person individually. My magic is not your magic. We are just finding out what works for you. Do you understand?'

It sounds almost logical. I'm pretty sure it doesn't work that way at all.

'Sounds like she's recommending him a therapist,' says Floyd, which almost makes me laugh out loud and blow our cover. Ary clearly heard it and clears her throat once again. We freeze.

'I think I get it,' says Doki. His chin leans on his chest and he looks bummed out. Ary softly pets his head.

'Do not doubt yourself. You get it. Come on, say it with me.'

The boy groans. 'Alright. I get it.'

'You get what?'

'I get magic.'

'You what?'

'I get magic!'

Ary stands up and raises her voice a little. 'You get what?'

Doki lifts his head to the sky and shouts 'I get magic!'

'Alright!' says Ary, and I've never seen her so excited. It's almost genuine. 'Now, move that rock to the right!'

'Shit,' I say, 'did you see what rock she meant?'

'Yikes, no,' says Floyd, 'let's just wait what the kid does.'

There are multiple rocks on the so-called training ground. Doki starts running between them, his arms spread as if he's about to fly away. And Ary's not stopping him.

Then he halts, right in front of the biggest rock.

'Oh boy,' I mumble, and Floyd and I start making a new net. Doki stares the rock down is if it's his worst enemy. He lifts both his hands to the sky, as if he wants lightning to strike him right there and then. 'Move. To. The. Riiiiiiight!'

We throw the net and almost catch the boy himself in it. With all the power we have we lean back, trying to move the damn rock. Ary and Doki wait, tensed. My arms are burning and I clench my jaws so hard I'm afraid I'll break a tooth.

Then the boy jumps. 'Did you see that?!'

As soon as we hear it, Floyd and I fall down. Through the bushes I can tell by Ary's face she didn't see a damn thing, but she nods. 'Very good. Very good process indeed.'

Floyd bumps his elbow in my side. 'Wasn't the Curse supposed to break right about now?'

'Let's do it again!' Doki shouts, and he runs around the rocks some more.

'Well,' says Ary, 'let's wait a little. Let the...magic muscles rest for a while.'

Thank god.

'Dude,' whispers Floyd, 'that should be my stripper name. Magic Muscles.'

'Wow, you're right.'

'Really? Do you actually think I could be a stripper?'

'No, about the Curse. Why isn't it breaking now?'

There's some movement in the bushes. We sit up. Ary appears. 'Doki is getting some water. I think we have to continue.'

Floyd groans. 'Really? Maybe it takes a while to break.'

Ary shakes her head. 'No, it must be something else. Perhaps Gajeel was wrong.'