Dream Clean
Sum: Anti-Cosmo wishes away his dreams.
Anti-Cosmo came home late into the night, floating low, and slouching to be even lower. Another day came and went where he wasn't anywhere close to being the next ruler of Anti-Fairy World. If anything, he was farther than before.
"Horrible," Anti-Cosmo mumbled. "How are you supposed to rule a whole world if you can't even get one measly anti-wand? You won't. You're delusional. You've been chasing an empty dream for your whole life." The grip on his wand became firmer, but also shakier. "Why don't you just give up. Know your place. You're not supposed to be anything." He shook the thoughts out of his head. "You should stop talking to yourself like a crazy person and go to sleep. You're just tired." He really was tired. He'd spend the days he had off school pulling all-nighters for his plan, which ended up failing. "If you go to bed, tomorrow everything will be fine again. Anti-Wanda will be back from vacation and we could play together." He floated into bed, not even bothering to change clothes or put his wand away. He cuddled with the rattle as he fell asleep.
Anti-Cosmo woke up to see Anti-Schnozmo standing over him. "Oh dear brother, I have such delightful news." Anti-Cosmo groaned. "Unless it's 'I took over Anti-Fairy World', I don't want to hear it," he said. "You took over Anti-Fairy World!" Anti-Schnozmo exclaimed. Anti-Cosmo shot out of bed. "What? That's a lie, right? But you didn't say it backward… How? When? Why?" "You're right my dear brother, it's not a lie, for I am a pathetic wuss that is physically unable of lying. So the truth is that Anti-Binky is old, ugly, horrible at his job, ruining the economy, and much more. Because of this, he just up and died, leaving the slot open for a new leader. A democracy was immediately made and voted you into the throne because you're so smart, intelligent, clever, quick-witted, perceptive, and, not to mention, a complete genius. You're great! You'll fix the economy, and rebuild our military! Soon enough, the whole universe will be in your grasp!" Overwhelming joy came over Anti-Cosmo. He poofed all the way to Anti-Binky's old castle, since his magic was useful now. Everybody greeted him as 'your majesty.' It was everything he ever hoped it would be. Anti-Wanda was even there. "You did it!" she cheered. "The once dreadful dictatorship is no more! My overprotective sibling finally realized how superior you are and allows me full time to play with you. The school system also got a much-needed fix, and we are both no longer enrolled, for we graduated." "Wow," Anti-Cosmo said, completely in awe. "We graduated already?" "Indeed," Anti-Wanda continued. "We are both old now. Look, we procreated." Anti-Wanda pulled a cube-shaped anti-baby from behind her back. He had purple eyes and a single hair in the vague shape of an f. He waved. "Hello," he said in a deep British accent, "I'm an image that you pulled from deep in your subconscious. You're sleeping, by the way." Anti-Cosmo scoffed and waved a dismissive hand at his apparent son. "That's crazy." "Oh really?" the anti-baby said. "Then how is it possible that you're going to wake up in three… two… one…"
Anti-Cosmo opened his eyes, not to see his new castle and throne, but to see his room. That overwhelming joy soon got completely replaced with overwhelming dread at the realization that it was all fake, then overwhelming anger.
"I hate sleep," he seethed. "I hate dreams. I hate how they give you hope just to rip it away mercilessly. I hate how it's a stupid waste of time too. Approximately one-third of my infinite is wasted on such a futile and superfluous act! That's an infinite amount of hours down the drain." Anti-Cosmo poofed into Anti-Schnozmo's room. He grabbed his brother and shook him awake. "And it's all his fault!" the anti-child hissed.
Anti-Schnozmo started at Anti-Cosmo in utter confusion, fear, annoyance, and some other emotions too. Mostly, though, he was tired. "Not to sound mean or anything, but I liked you better when you were sleeping. I liked it better when I was sleeping too. We should go back to that."
"No, we will not go back to that! Never again! We're going to the sandman and we're stopping this miserable excuse of a waste of time!"
Anti-Schnozmo blinked, processing what his furious brother just said. "S-stop sleep? Us? We? Me?! No, we can't. The sandman lives on Earth. Last time I checked, neither of us could get all the way down to Earth."
"Then you should check more often, you nincompoop! The anti-rainbow bridge became up and running for public use seven days ago. We're the public, and we're going to Earth."
"Why me too?" he whined. "I like sleep."
"And I hate you, so I don't care about your sleep opinions. Plus, good magic would be quite useful on the huge planet. Also, I might fall asleep without someone to talk to, and that's the opposite of what I want, so chop chop."
Anti-Schnozmo rolled his eyes, but he couldn't say no even if he wanted to. He did want to. His wand appeared in his hand and they both poofed away into the night. Unknown to both of them, as they started floating over the planet, somewhere on the earth a machine just pinged...
~~~~~~000~~~~~~~
Anti-Cosmo slammed his hands on the desk. "You." his voices still oozed with a venomous hatred. He had nearly a whole day of wandering the Earth before he got there, making him more tired and bitter than ever.
The man behind the desk looked at him. He was the first person on Earth that could actually see the anti-fairies. This man wore pajamas, slippers, and a crown; his eyes and what was left of his curly hair were purple. "Sorry kid, I smashed that mirror eight years ago. You're a little too late."
"We're not here for bad luck, Sandman. We're here to not need sleep." Anti-Cosmo said. "Only you can do sleep wishes, so I wish Anti-Fairies don't need sleep. And no genie-like playing on my words. I don't want this to backfire because of," he used air quotes, "how 'important' sleep is."
The man, the Sandman, raised an eyebrow at Anti-Cosmo, obviously not taking him seriously. That made the Anti-Fairy even madder. "Can you believe this guy? Coming all the way down here just to get rejected? That's dedication," he said, looking at Anti-Schnozmo.
Anti-Schnozmo obviously didn't want to be there. His eyes were barely opened and had dark circles beneath them. "Rejected," he whined. "Anti-Cosmo, why'd you have to drag me into this?"
"No, I can't be rejected! Why?"
"If anti-fairies don't need sleep, fairies don't. Half of my power just down the drain, and for what? A green-eyed anti-fairy? I'd rather not."
"Then just take the need to sleep away from me only. I don't care about others."
The Sandman shook his head. "Your name's Anti-Cosmo, right?" Anti-Cosmo angrily nodded. "Opposite of the fairy baby that was so dangerous he blew up half of the world?" Anti-Cosmo scowled harder at the mention of his opposite. "I'll take that as a yes." The Sandman continued. "I can only make anti-fairies unable to sleep by making their fairy first. I'd rather not have Jorgen on my back about this, so your opposite, and you, have to sleep."
Anti-Cosmo continued to glare, with a face that, to the sandman, as honestly more cute than threatening. Anti-Schnozmo continued to look like he regretted all of his life choices. "Tell ya what, you two are cute kids. Why'd you do this? Nightmares?"
"My life is a nightmare," Anti-Cosmo grumbled.
His brother nodded sluggishly. "Same here…" he mumbled.
"Alright, how about this:" the Sandman suggested, "I can make you unable to dream. That shouldn't make Cosmo too much more dangerous. It might even do the opposite. Just remember, you'd lose nightmares, but you'd lose the good dreams too. You in?"
"Yes!" Anti-Cosmo immediately said. "The 'good' dreams are worse."
The Sandman's gaze shifted to the anti-teen. "And you?"
Even with only two brain cells awake, Anti-Schnozmo knew this was a bad idea. The Sandman wasn't really a bad guy, just bad with magic. Spending all of your time around humans and not granting wishes all too often can do that. That's how he got a reputation in the worlds for being kind of genie-like with his wishes. 'How could not dreaming even make Cosmo less dangerous?' Anti-Schnozmo thought. 'There's a catch.' He didn't care. The catch would affect Anti-Cosmo's life, not his. The worst thing that could happen is his brother regrets it, reverses it, doesn't learn his lesson, and complains to Anti-Schnozmo for hours. The anti-teen would probably think that it'd be 'another day that ends in Y' if that phrase existed. "No. Just him," Anti-Schnozmo said.
"Alright. I'll even poof you two home while I'm at it! How does that sound?" He waved his hourglass wand. Since he technically was powered by fairy magic, when Anti-Cosmo and Anti-Schnozmo appeared back in Anti-Fairy world, they were coughing. They were nowhere near their house, but it was a start. Anti-Schnozmo poofed both of them back to their house and promptly went to sleep without noticing, or caring that his brother looked a little different.
To his surprise, Anti-Schnozmo woke up on his own. It's almost always either his wand waking him up on school days, or his brother begging for something magical. He thought for sure that Anti-Cosmo would come poofing in and demanding a trip to Anti-Wanda's house now that her family was back, but nothing. The anti-teen poofed through the wall to see Anti-Cosmo was awake already, but he was just sitting on the floor.
Anti-Schnozmo noticed that he looked different. All of his colors, especially his eyes, looked kind of desaturated. Grayer. He definitely looked more like an anti-fairy than a pixie, but he was much closer to the later than he should have been. "Whatcha doing there?" Anti-Schnozmo asked.
"Sitting."
"You don't want to go to Anti-Wanda's?"
He shrugged. "What's the point?"
"Surely you at least want to be poofed to the Big Anti-Wand then."
Anti-Cosmo shrugged again. "What's the point?"
"To get more Anti-Magic so you can take over Anti-Fairy World."
"Not interested," Anti-Cosmo said.
Anti-Schnozmo knew it was wrong, but he couldn't help the smile forming on his face. Anti-Cosmo had always been such a troublesome child, especially ever since their mother started to stay home less because of work. Getting rid of his dreams must have gotten rid of his ambitions too. Those same ambitions that made his life so hard. No more fearing that Anti-Binky would do something to his family because of Anti-Cosmo's idiot dreams, no more fearing Anti-Blonda's rage about a bad role model either. He wouldn't be woken up in the middle of the night and forced into an adventure either. Anti-Cosmo may have lost his dreams, but Anti-Schnozmo practically had a dream come true. Granted, a dream he hadn't put much thought into, but a dream nonetheless.
"Good," Anti-Schnozmo mumbled, "Let's keep it that way."
"Okay. I won't try to, but I won't try not to either."
"Okay, cool," he said. "You know, it's for the best. You would have never conquered Anti-Fairy World." Anti-Cosmo didn't react to that statement at all. Usually, he would get furious. He decided to push it even farther to search for a reaction."You're too incompetent to take over Anti-Binky." Still no reaction. Anti-Schnozmo nodded in satisfaction. "If you listened to me from the beginning, we could have gotten to this point with a lot less pain."
"...Okay…"
'Perfect,' Anti-Blonda thought. Usually, Anti-Cosmo would have poofed to her home by now, but he, and his bad influence, was nowhere to be seen. For multiple days actually. It wasn't until a couple of days after school started up again that everything seemed less 'perfect'.
After being poofed home, Anti-Blonda noticed how her sister wasn't smiling like usual. She was looking at the ground instead, head low. "Are you okay? You're not sick, are you?" She put her hand to her sister's forehead. It felt fine.
"Yeah. I'm okay," Anti-Wanda mumbled, clearly not sounding happy. "It's just Anti-Cosmo, I guess."
That name made Anti-Blonda jump to the biggest conclusions. "That jerk! Did he say something mean? Go and insult him back! Call him the idiot with weird eyes and teeth! Make him cry."
Anti-Wanda was completely confused. "What? He's not a jerk, he's just… I don't know… not Anti-Cosmoish. I liked Anti-Cosmoish Anti-Cosmo."
"What do you mean?" Anti-Blonda goes out of her way to not talk to Anti-Cosmo, so she was surprisingly more lost as her clueless sister.
"We always had fun together, playing games, and he taught me such cool stuff. Today, and the day before today, he didn't want to do any of that. He didn't want to do anything." Anti-Wanda visibly looked sadder as she continued. "I-I don't want him to not play with me. I miss it. He was so much fun. Do you think that he doesn't like m-me anymore? D-did I do something wrong?"
"No, it's him. He's just weird, and a bad influence anyway. Maybe this is for the best. You can make new, less troublesome friends that'll be better than Anti-Cosmo ever was."
"But I liked Anti-Cosmo. And it took a really long time to find him. I don't want to spend that really long time again."
Anti-Blonda floated in thought for a second. "How about this, I'll try to knock some sense into your friend, as long as you promise to at least try and make other friends. Deal?"
"Okay," Anti-Wanda said smiling. She lifted up her wand. "We can both go now!"
Anti-Blonda pushed it down and laughed awkwardly. "Let's wait until mom or dad come home." Eventually, another Anti-Fairywinkle came home from work, so Anti-Blonda poofed over to the Anti-Cosma house like she said she would. She'd been there a couple of times, not nearly as much as Anti-Cosmo or his brother had been to her house, but she still knew the layout.
By the time she got there, Anti-Cosmo was just sitting on the floor of his room, doing absolutely nothing. He didn't acknowledge Anti-Blonda's poof at all. "What do you think you're doing?" she asked.
"Sitting."
"I meant to Anti-Wanda." As Anti-Blonda stared at the anti-child, she couldn't help but notice how off he looked. "Why have you been acting weird with her? Is it me? I hope you know that you complain a lot, so that would make you a hypocrite." Her comment only got a blank stare in return. "No sarcastic quip?"
"No," Anti-Cosmo said, "there would be no point."
"Did you get bitten by a radioactive pixie or something?" Anti-Blonda asked rhetorically. It dawned on her that, with Anti-Cosmo, that was a very real possibility. He's done worse. It would explain the dull appearance and attitude too. The fear of a rabid-like, radioactive pixie roaming around the worlds terrified her. Luckily, Anti-Cosmo said an emotionless no. It wasn't too convincing though. "So what happened then?"
"There's no point in telling you."
She sighed. Somehow, despite basically being a shell of himself, Anti-Cosmo still managed to get on her nerves. It's commendable really. Anti-Blonda poofed across the wall and immediately grabbed Anti-Schnozmo's wand before he could poof away. He panicked without his wand. "Why are you here? Is it about the test answers I gave you? I know four Cs in a row is fishy but I promise that it's right. Mrs. Ashcraft just likes Cs."
"No you dummy, I retook that test yesterday and chickened out of cheating anyway. I'm here for your idiot brother."
"Why? You hate him."
"I know. Anti-Wanda is somehow attached to him, so why's he like this? Should I buy anti-pixie-magic boards for my house?"
Anti-Schnozmo blinked in confusion. "N… no? We went to the sandman and he made a stupid wish with Harvey." He said stupid loud enough that Anti-Cosmo could probably hear it through the walls. Over the past few days, he's been saying things that would get emotion, mostly anger, out of his brother to check if he was still dreamless or not. He was.
The other anti-teen groaned. "But he's all the way on Earth. We'll have to combine magic to get down there. Did the anti-bridge get finished yet?" Something clicked as she thought about what Anti-Schnozmo told her. "Wait, we? You were there? You're his brother! Why didn't you stop if you knew it was stupid?"
He tried to grab his wand, but Anti-Blonda pushed his hand back down. She wasn't leaving without answers. It was alarming to the easily alarmed Anti-Schnozmo. "I-I was tired."
"Come on, like that's an excuse. We're teens; we're always tired. And what about after that? He hasn't been to my house in days. Very un-Anti-Cosmo-like. That's plenty of time for a nap."
"I thought you of all people would have liked it. He's not a bad role model anymore. He's not a bad brother. He's not bad."
"But he's not good either," Anti-Blonda argued. She couldn't believe who she was defending. "He's basically nothing right now! That's gotta be worse. Do you honestly like that personality-less husk more than your own sibling?" Anti-Schnozmo didn't answer, he looked to the ground instead. His expression answered Anti-Blonda's question for him. "Oh come on, he's not that bad, and this is coming from me! Sure he's a jerk, and he doesn't think about consequences, but he's like two. You're ninety! And, I can't stress this enough, you're his brother!"
"And?"
Anti-Blonda knew that the Anti-Cosma family was weird, but this would have to be the biggest change from what she was used to. Her highest priority had always been her family, but to Anti-Schnozmo it seemed like blood doesn't matter. Anti-Cosmo appeared to be just another kid that manipulates him, but with the added bonus of living with him. But that couldn't be true, Anti-Blonda has seen them get along together better than they get along with others. He probably just needed a reminder of what Anti-Cosmo was really like to care again.
"I'll be back," Anti-Blonda said. "And I'll be the sibling that you should be."
"Okay. May I have my wand back?"
"No."
Anti-Schnozmo nodded. "Okay…"
Anti-Blonda poofed to the next door with both wands, then grabbed Anti-Cosmo. The bland anti-child didn't resist in the slightest as he got poofed away. Together they poofed to the anti-rainbow bridge and slid down. Once on earth, Anti-Blonda looked to Anti-Cosmo. "So, where's Harvey?"
Anti-Cosmo shrugged. "I don't know."
"Where did you meet him last time?"
He pointed in a general direction.
She signed. "Do you have anything better than that?"
The younger anti-fairy shrugged. "What's the point?"
"I should have expected this…" she mumbled. Grabbing Anti-Cosmo's hand, she started floating in the direction he pointed in.
"Does it really work? Can you really get 'genetic material' of a negmagwaji from that note?"
A crazy smile spread on the man's face. "Coming…coming..." he laughed. "Anti-crazy is what they'll call me."
The girl looked over his shoulder and smiled too. "We're getting close, aren't we?"
Despite the vague directions, Anti-Blonda somehow found the sandman again, dragging Anti-Cosmo the whole time. It actually took a lot shorter time than she thought it would, which still wasn't a short amount of time, but it was a start. He ended up being at the edge of a pretty sudden forest. He was standing instead of floating, probably because a human village was so close by.
Anti-Blonda's sigh of relief for finally finding what she was looking for quickly became an immobilizing fear. The curses of having an extroverted opposite is that even the smallest of audiences give stage fright. For Anti-Blonda, either adults, fairies, or strangers kindled fear, and the whole time she was searching, she failed to consider that the sandman was all three. The anti-teen looked at Anti-Cosmo and nudged him toward Harvey in hopes he'd get the hint. If he did get the hint, his emotionless face didn't show it and he made no attempt to do it.
"Hey, you're back," Sandman said. "That was fast. Who's your new friend?"
Anti-Cosmo stared back blankly instead of responding. Anti-Blonda didn't respond either, she was completely frozen in fear. It didn't help that she saw two shadowy figures in the thick forest behind the fairy. The figures were coming closer.
The sandman didn't notice what was going on behind him. He was looking directly at Anti-Blonda now. "Do you want your dreams magiced gone too, or the opposite?"
Both of the anti-fairies still stared in silence, even as a butterfly net swished out of a bush onto the sandman. A peal of manic laughter was heard. "A fairy!" One of the shadowy figures said. The second stepped into the light revealing to Anti-Blonda that it was the human that made it into their school. Tannis Turner. She had a strange device in her hands that looked to have some paper in it.
"The creatures you were talking to, where are they?" Tannis questioned.
The sandman waved his hand dismissively. "There seems to be a misunderstanding. I wasn't talking to anything, I was practicing a sales pitch. Did you know that I have the most comfortable water-filled goatskins around? And only for the low low cost-"
"I don't want your cursed objects, sleep fairy. I want the invisible ones." Tannis said. "And don't even try to poof away," she looked in the general direction of the anti-fairies, "We have some things that can find any sort of magic."
Anti-Blonda floated utterly terrified. 'No no no no no, this isn't good,' she thought, 'this isn't good at all. Just stay still, stay quiet, and they'll never find you. They can't see you.' she looked at Anti-Cosmo, who still held the same emotionless, blank stare. 'I guess this is why Anti-Schnozmo gave up. This little freak of nature makes bad luck follow him, and somehow makes that a bad thing. And of all people, Anti-Wanda gravitated toward him…'
The second man came out of the shadows, but he was wearing a cloak that made it so there was practically no difference in his looks. He was still completely unidentifiable, unless you read (or listened to) a lot of books on crazy people. The butterfly flipped around in his hands, so now the trapped fairy was transportable. "Leave them. Those negmagwajis are invisible… all we need is the fairy. All the proof, all the poof. I'll finally prove that the earth is flat. Those philosophers don't know anything."
"But the negmagwajis are evil!" Tannis complained, but it was no use. The man started walking away, so she reluctantly followed, not wanting to get left behind.
The two were long gone, long long gone, by the time Anti-Blonda mustered up enough courage to move again. "Oh god, oh no, we got him captured. I know that girl, she was probably looking for me. Or you. This can't be good. We have to save him."
"What's the point?"
'He's not wrong,' thought Anti-Blonda. 'We'll just get captured. Anti-Wanda can suck it up and get new friends.' Unfortunately for her, another thing her opposite cursed her with was a decent amount of selflessness that went against her better judgment. "The point is we need to find where those humans took him. The girl has this castle, but I don't think she goes back there. If we knew who the man was then maybe…"
"Ludwig Gage?"
That's when it dawned on Anti-Blonda that Anti-Cosmo is obsessed with books and has multiple on magic truthers. Author fairies tend to be pretty big stalkers, so there's a great chance that Anti-Cosmo knows exactly where the crazy man lives, and therefore knows where the sandman went. "Yes, exactly. Do you know where he lives?"
Anti-Cosmo nodded.
"Could you tell me?"
"Why?"
"Do you want to know why?" Anti-Blonda was tired of him always asking what the point of it was. Her annoyance shone through her rashly toned voice. "It's because all of this is actually your fault. Because you act so stupid and impulsive and selfish. You don't listen. But do you know what else? The reason you'll do this is because you need to be an impulsive, selfish idiot again, and this is the only way to do so."
"Still, what's the point?"
"The point is, no matter how horrible you are, Anti-Wanda still likes you, and that's because you're always stubbornly determined about everything, and, I'm not going to lie, that's pretty admirable."
Anti-Cosmo blinked at that statement. His eyes seemed slightly greener, but Anti-Blonda dismissed that as her own eyes playing tricks on her. She continued as Anti-Cosmo just stared. "I mean, you've probably read more books than anybody at our school, and you can't even read. Your dedication is honestly amazing." His eyes regained some saturation again. "And to get that dedication again we need the sandman, so where would we find him?"
To Anti-Blonda's surprise, Anti-Cosmo actually said an address instead of questioning it again. She lifted her wand, then poofed them a fair distance away from the address, to avoid possible magic detectors. It wasn't hard to fly to the house Anti-Cosmo mentioned. It also wasn't as hard to drag Anti-Cosmo behind her as it was before.
They both quietly made it into the house with a still-open door and Anti-Blonda looked around. She soon found a secret entrance to an underground room wasn't so secret, so she floated down. Below were many inventions, all labeled with overly long, vague names, but they all had one thing in common: they were made to help capture/ torture a magical creature. The thought of a person inventing things specifically to do something like that to her classmates made Anti-Blonda feel sick. She knew the basics about magic truthers, and how they constantly do unspeakable things to those who get captured. There was nothing that anybody could do about it, since unauthorized human interaction was against da rules. How Anti-Cosmo willingly listens to acts like those multiple times was just another drop in the bucket of how weird he is.
The anti-fairies heard Tannis' voice, and floated toward it. "Tell me about the anti-fairies," she demanded.
"Sorry, I can't do that. But you know, cold season gets some of my best sales, so if you could just release me-"
"No!" Tannis yelled. "Tell me how to get anti-fairies! How do I torture them! Get revenge for them ruining my life over and over again!"
Anti-Blonda looked around and Gage was nowhere to be seen. She wasn't sure if that was a good thing or not. What she knew definitely was a bad thing was that the cage the sandman was trapped in was iron. She dragged Anti-Cosmo back out of the house so she couldn't possibly be heard. "I need you to make a plan. And really think this plan though, okay?"
"Why?"
"Sometimes you accidentally make good plans because, even if you act like an idiot, you are smart." That last comment made his eyes notably brighter.
Anti-Cosmo smiled. "Really?"
'So it wasn't my imagination,' Anti-Blonda thought. 'I must be reverting him back to normal, but compliments? You need a big ego to have dreams? I guess it would be closer to a person giving support to somebody else's dreams.'
"Do you want to know something else? I'm sure that in the next couple of years-because you're so ambitious, determined, and clever-you'll rule over Anti-Fairy World as the best ruler we ever had." Anti-Blonda was happy that her opposite wasn't Schnozmo, because that statement would have been said backward. She had little confidence that Anti-Cosmo would conquer the whole world any time soon, or at all really. Despite all of this, it worked wonders.
"Well, of course I will. I'm better than Anti-Binky in every way shape and form."
"Then you should be able to free the sandman without a hitch right?"
"No doubt. Because I'm so great. Tell me how great I am again."
Anti-Blonda put on a fake smile. 'I forgot how much I hated him.' "Yeah. Your great alright. You'd probably beat Jorgen in a boxing match or something because your one muscle is more muscly than his many muscly muscles, that one muscle being the brain."
Even if that sentence didn't make much sense, Anti-Cosmo enjoyed it quite a lot. "Indeed. So, how will my big brain get us out of this predicament? Glad you asked! I'll simply do the same thing I did last time. Iron plus anti-fairy equals fire, and iron melts at the low low point of 1,538 degrees. As for what to do with the human, I'll do what my dear anti-dad did to Anti-Schnozmo last year."
"And what would that be?"
Anti-Cosmo started flying back toward the house. "Awe, you don't know? Don't worry, you'll catch on."
"Wait, do you remember everything from your pixie-state? Like those torture devices if things go wrong?"
Anti-Cosmo nodded, his smile growing, but it looked off. "Mmhmm. I was conscious the whole time and actually did pay attention. I saw first hand how happy my brother was that I lost my personality. I'm not bitter at all about that, no sir-ey. I don't know about you, but I'm ready to go burn my hands and not dwell on the fact that my life is horrible. Can you call me great again?"
"Yep… You're great…" Anti-Blonda's feelings toward the youngest ever anti-fairy always fluctuate between thoroughly hating him and feeling quite sorry for him. Even for anti-fairy standards, he has it pretty rough. Did she honestly think Anti-Cosmo's great? Well, at the very least he could be a lot worse.
They flew back into the basement to see Tannis still desperately trying to get the sandman to talk about anti-fairies. Anti-Cosmo raised his rattle, which Anti-Bonda shook her head too. She mimicked sirens with her hands. He smiled evilly. "Hey you ugly human, guess what I am!" Anti-Cosmo yelled in a perfect Anti-Blonda impression. He poofed up as much flower as he could and dumped it over Anti-Blonda. "I'm a negmagwaji!"
"That voice! You were the one that was with that horrible Anti-Fairy!"
Anti-Blonda, not willing to stick around and find out what Tannis's opinions on her were, shot her wand right up, but didn't poof away just yet. Anti-Cosmo floated over to the cage and grabbed two bars as hard as he could. Even with his built-up immunity, it still made him wince. It didn't make it easier when he started rubbing his hands up and down to make the fire grow faster.
"No, stop that!" Tannis yelled, not guessing that there were two. She grabbed a random device and threw it at Anti-Wanda's hand, knocking the wand out of it. She lifted up Anti-Schnozmo's wand and poofed away with that.
The fire Anti-Cosmo was making kept exponentially growing in both heat and size, especially as it spread to all of the mostly wooden mechanisms. Tannis started grabbing all of the important things that she could. "Those anti-fairies really are hellspawns!"
The two iron bars Anti-Cosmo was rubbing finally melted enough for the sleep fairy to escape.
"You okay kid?" the sandman asked as he flew out.
Anti-Cosmo looked very clearly in pain, but smiled fakely and nodded anyway. "Yep. Never better. I love my life."
Not caring about the fire, the sandman flew over and grabbed his wand from its faraway shelf. Anti-Cosmo also grabbed Anti-Blonda's wand, but rather than using his hands, he decided his teeth would work better. Afterward, they both flew out of the burning building.
"Well, that was really something," the sandman said. "So, I never did catch why you came back. For dreams again would be my bet."
"Yeah, I guess. Anti-Wanda would appreciate it," Anti-Cosmo said through a closed mouth.
With one swish of the wand, Anti-Cosmo was back to normal. The sandman looked at Anti-Cosmo's teeth, or lack thereof, that was holding the wand as he coughed from the magic. The sandman thought for a second, then handed Anti-Cosmo a bag he pulled out of thin air. "What's this?"
"I told ya, you're a cute kid. This is for your troubles. Don't open it til' you get home though."
Anti-Cosmo grabbed the bag with the back of his hands and immediately opened it. A cloud of dust exploded out of it, putting Anti-Cosmo to sleep.
The sandman rolled his eyes. "Kids. They're really something else."
Anti-Blonda poofed beside Anti-Cosmo, now flour-free, to complain, but stopped when she saw the sandman. "M-m-Mr. Sandman, sir, I-I'm so sorry."
He shrugged. "Don't sweat it. Trust me, I work in retail, I've been through worse."
"O-okay…" She looked at Anti-Cosmo, who was sucking on her wand kind of like a pacifier. She noticed his corrected pallet. "I-is he-"
"Yeah. Dreams are all back in there. Want me to poof you two home again?"
"N-no thank you." Anti-Blonda poofed them both to the anti-bridge She let out a sigh of relief to finally be done with this whole fiasco. Well, almost done. At least Anti-Cosmo was floating in his sleep, so he was easy to drag back up the bridge. By the time Anti-Blonda poofed into Anti-Schnozmo's room, making him scream, the day was mostly over.
"Did you learn our lesson on how to be a better older brother while we were gone?" She asked.
"Um... sey?" he lied.
Anti-Blonda didn't care as much at this point, so she handed over the sleeping anti-child. "That's your wand now. And trust me, you won't get that back until he wakes up. Also, I'm pretty sure he's really mad at you."
"Really? Why? I didn't do anything."
Anti-Blonda shook her head. 'He's more like his brother than he thinks.' Without saying anything else, she poofed away, leaving Anti-Schnozmo alone with his brother.
Anti-Cosmo woke up feeling more rested than he ever felt in his life. His hands were completely healed too, even though iron burns, especially ones as bad as he had, took a couple of days to fully heal. The wand was still in his mouth too. He tried to pull it out, but it was stuck on something. He lifted his rattle, poofed to the bathroom, and spat out the wand in surprise at what he saw. He smiled at himself, showing off his new, full set of teeth. Something caught his attention.
"Wait, where'd my fangs go?" He asked himself. His teeth were completely flat. He started rubbing his teeth where the fangs used to be. After a second, he felt something sharper than the others, and it ended up that his fangs were back. "What?" he questioned.
After some experiments, Anti-Cosmo came to the conclusion that his teeth could magically change shape if he wanted them too, probably because they were made from sucking on a magic wand. It was only basic shapeshifting though with tree forms: all flat, all sharp, and mostly flat with two sharp fangs where his old teeth used to be. He left it in the last form, his favorite, and was about to go tell his brother, but stopped. "Why should I tell him? He wouldn't care." He started floating toward the house's door. "I'll show them to Anti-Wanda. She'll care. And Anti-Blonda too, I guess."
AN: Ooo, wow, Anti-Cosmo has teeth now. He's practically an adult. By the way, This is my great explanation as to why three out of the seven episodes that Anti-Cosmo is in have differently styled teeth than usual. Strange, how that's basically the only part of his design that changed and changed a lot. Ah well. Leave your thoughts on this chapter through a review. Til next time~
