This is the point where I get truly desperate.

...

...

...

You'll see when I tell you what the ship is.

Okay, I'm sorry I disappeared for two months. Truly.

(It's not like you guys really care anyway, XD.)

But yeah, I don't really have much of an excuse.

I don't know. I guess... I've just not really had any motivation.

(Was that grammatically correct? I don't think so. But I'm too lazy to go fix it.)

Anyway, I'll go respond to reviews.

Sophitz Shipper: That's nice. Remind me why I should care?

GIRL AUTHORity: No! You're not bothering me, I love the reviews! But thank you so much for all the compliments!

Sokeefe54335: Lol, me too!

Cary Swirls: Thank you! Ugh, muggles. *Eye roll* Hmm. "Sorry Mom, but since this independent fake-author online said that homework meant reading fanfiction, I'm off the hook!" That'd go over well, I'm sure. Lol, that's BASICALLY my life right now. Ah, the fangirl noises. My personal favorite right now is HHNNNNGGGGGHHHHHHHH! The problem with that one is... I have to write the book of shipping. But lol, thanks!

Country-Fangirl: Of course, of course. Thanks!

Enjoy!

Me: Hey guys! It's been a while!

Wylie: Ugh, you're back.

Me: Yep!

Linh: Yay! You're back!

Me: Finally, SOMEONE appreciates me!

Dex: Please. You have a whole armada of fans/reviewers. Whereas I am truly underappreciated.

Me: Um... have you not seen the Dex fangirls?

Dex: D-Dex... DEX FANGIRLS!?

Me: Yeah, they exist.

Dex: HNGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH ASDFGHJKL I HAVE FANGIRLSSSSSSSSSSSSS!

Marella: *Odd coughing noises*

Biana: Boyfriends, am I right?

Me: See, this is why you guys should just all be lesbians!

Sophie: You do realize we can't... like... choose that, right?

Me: Yeah, but I control you, so I can choose that!

Fitz: Okay, that's fair.

Keefe: *Holding notepad* So, that was fourth wall break number... 9348220389472984302788492083092449387483, or something like that.

Marella: Sounds about right.

Me: So, speaking of the LGBTQ+...

Tam: I'm curious to see where this goes.

Me: This is the terrible idea, that I in no way ship, but well...

Wylie: Should I be scared?

Fitz: Yes.

Me: Well, you know how there's an all out war about Sokeefe vs. Sophitz?

Sophie: (Visibly stressed) rEaLLy?! dIdN't KnOw ThAt! ! !

Me: What if the option was neither, but instead...

Linh: *Running through a mental list* Sotam, Wyphie, Solinh, Sophiana... what have we not done?

Me: SOKEEFITZ! A polyamorous relationship between Sophie, Keefe, and Fitz! Or, possibly, a reverse harem because apparently EVERY GUY (and some girls, probably) IN THE ENTIRE FREAKING LOST CITIES HAS A CRUSH ON HER!

Linh: Hey, since it's been a while since our Solinhiana chapter, would you mind defining polyamorous relationships for us - slash - your readers?

Me: Sure! A polyamorous relationship is when three (or more, actually, but Sokeefitz is a threesome) (Don't ask me how I'm using parenthesis in what is supposed to be an actual talking conversation) people are all in a relationship with each other. So it's not so much that Sophie is dating Keefe and separately dating Fitz, or, "cheating" on both of them, but instead Sophie is dating Fitz and Keefe, and Keefe is dating Sophie and Fitz, and Fitz is dating Sophie and Keefe. Does that make sense? Oh, and by the way, I actually did NOT use google for the definition this time! Aren't you guys so proud of me?

Dex: *Sarcastically, rolling eyes* Yes, A. Fan, we're very proud of you.

Me: REALLY!?

Dex: No.

Me: *Lengthy sigh* No on appreciates me.

Dex: I already told you, I don't want to hear it.

Me: I ALREADY TOLD YOU ABOUT THE DEX FANGIRLS!

Dex: I won't believe that until I meet them!

Me: Fine! You also have a Dex fanboy, by the way. *Snaps fingers*

Dex Fanpotato #1: OMG! It's... it's really Dex!

Dex Fanpotato #2: DEX ON THE COVER TWENTY TWENTY!

Dex Fanpotato #3: Oh my mallowmelt... the ****DIMPLES!****

Dex Fanpotato #4: DEXPHIE LIVES ONNNNNNNNNN!

Dex Fanpotato #5: Dex, can I have your autograph?

Dex Fanpotato #6: Dex, can I have a gadget that will turn fictional characters real and then into my boyfriends? The first person I'll use it on is you!

(Dex: Um...)

Dex Fanpotato #7: Dex, you are so much better than Wonderboy!

Fitz: Hey!

All Dex Fanpotatos: DEX DESERVES APPRECIATION! DEX DESERVES APPRECIATION! DEX DESERVES APPRECIATION! DEX DESERVES APPRECIATION! DEX DESERVES APPRECIATION! DEX DESERVES APPRECIATION! DEX DESERVES APPRECIATION! DEX DESERVES APPRECIATION! DEX DESERVES APPRECIATION!

Me: Do you believe me now?

Dex: *Staring at fanpotatos in wonder* Oh my mallowmelt... I'm appreciated!

Me: Yes. You are. AND WE WILL GET YOU ON THE COVERRRRRRRR! DEX ON THE COVER 2020!

Linh: Um, should we maybe return to the actual topic of Sokeefitz?

Me: Oh. Yeah. Right. That.

Tam: Isn't that, like, why you dragged us here?

Me: *Sings* Isn't this why we came? Gotta get with you! Girls like girl liiiiiike boys do, nothing new! (Anyone?)

Wylie: What the-

Sophie: Oh mallowmelt.

Biana: I'm deaf.

Dex: Is there, like, a dying whale in here?

Me: But anyway, to answer your question, Sir Salty Shadows, I mostly dragged you here 'cause it's been a while and I missed torturing you! Sokeefitz is just because I needed to write my chapter about something.

Linh: Okay. By the way, your singing isn't really as bad as they're making it seem.

Everyone else: YEAH IT IS.

Me: So, anyway, you guys understood my ***100% NOT COPIED FROM GOOGLE*** explanation?

Tam: I love how you so subtly included the "Not copied from Google" part.

Me: CAN WE JUST STAY ON TOPIC FOR MORE THAN LIKE THREE SECONDS!?

Biana: You are aware that you are the ones controlling the conversation-

Keefe: *Muttering* Number 9348220389472984302788492083092449387484...

Biana: -And you, A. Fan, cannot stay on one topic if your life depended on it.

Me: That's definitely true. Actually, you know, one time my friend was so annoyed with my inability to stay on topic that she actually did threaten to kill me. But, if you read Swan Song, you know about my Shady Black Belt Protection Squad ™. Speaking of Swan Song, there should be a new chapter coming soon! I won't spoil anything, but AHHHHHHHHHHH!

Dex: That was so obviously fake that it was painful.

Me: Okay, the point is, I switch topics like Sophie switches her feelings for boys. (Credit to thesirensong for that line! It was too genius not to use.)

Me: (Yes I am aware that I have two lines in a row) So, anyway, with Sokeefitz, Sophie doesn't (I typed dies... O.o foreshadowing?) have to switch feelings! Instead, she can embrace both of them with a lovely polyamorous Sokeefitz ship!

Fitz: Right...

Keefe: ...And I see your point...

Fitz: ...But...

Keefe and Fitz: ARE YOU TELLING ME THAT SOKEEFITZ MEANS I HAVE TO DATE *Points at other one* HIM!?

Keefe: My sworn enemy!

Fitz: My rival!

Keefe: My nemesis!

Fitz: My foe!

Keefe: My adversary!

Meanwhile, with the girls...

Sophie: Ugh, why are boys so stupidly competitive?

Biana: *Flashbacks to Diana or Bam?*

Me: *Grinning at them*

My brain: Kiss, kiss, kiss!

Sophie and Biana, simultaneously: NO.

My brain: Wait, did she just read my mind?

Sophie: Um... did you forget that I was a telepath?

Me: But aren't you not supposed to read other people's minds?

Sophie: Well, you're a human, so your thoughts just naturally invade my head.

Me: But I'm an elf!

Sophie: I hate to break it to you, but you're not.

Me: YES I AM! YES I AM! YES I AM! YES I AM!

Linh: I think now's a good time to stop.

Marella: Probably, yeah.

Me: WAIT!-

Tam: I strike him right between his ribs.

Biana: I walk towards him, but I am ushered away.

Sophie: They row him back across the Hudson.

Tam: I get a drink.

Me: Anyway, we have to do an in-depth discussion of the ship name!

Dex: *Muttering* Oh mallowmelt...

Me: Ship name! Go!

Fitz: I guess the official name is Sokeefitz?

Me: I came up with it, so... yeah! Official!

Keefe: It kind of makes sense though. Like, Sokeefe plus Fitz equals Sokeefitz!

Fitz: Right, but why should Sokeefe come first and I come after? Chronologically, Sophitz came before Sokeefe. So I think the polyamorous ship name should be Sophitzeefe. Agreed?

Sophie: No.

Fitz: Why?

Sophie: Because that sounds disgusting.

Fitz: *Pout*

Keefe: Is she wrong though?

Fitz: *Grumbles*

Keefe: If Sokeefitz really bothers you, we could do Wondersokeefe. Wonderboy plus Sophie plus Keefe.

Fitz: *Sigh* No.

Linh: What about Sokitz?

Marella: No. Sofeefe?

Dex: Maybe, but pronounced out loud it sounds just like Sopheefe, which is just Sophie and Keefe.

Tam: Ooh! I know! Fopheefe!

Me: Oh my mallowmelt, that's beautiful.

Me: Anyway, this concludes our chapter! Fun fact: According to wordcounter-dot-net, Dex's name is the most frequently used word in the chapter, at 41 mentions. This does not include the words "I" (only 42, actually) and "Me" (43) since they are so common in the English language. Dex's name makes up 8% of the chapter! And it is mentioned more than twice as many times as Fitz's. Just your Dex Appreciation Fact ™ of the day!

Okay, it's me again, out of the chapter! I hope you enjoyed- obviously it doesn't make up for the two-month hiatus, but hopefully you liked it. I'm not sure when next chapter will be coming, but definitely sooner! How about before my birthday (which is less than a month away)? And anyway, it will be a very special chapter!

Also, my school has a 2+ week break because of coronavirus, so that's great. iT's CoRoNa TiMe!

OH ALSO I TOTALLY FORGOT! HAPPY 25 FAVORITES! THANK YOU GUYS SO MUCH!

Please review!