February 9-10, 2011

~*~ Jesus ~*~

Jesus watches the outdoor cookout with a mixed level of contentment. It's nice, to see the Hilltop folks congregating and enjoying themselves. The day's taken a turn toward winter cold, compared to the last few warmer days, but it didn't derail the plans for the cookout. The Georgians really should have gotten back on the road today, but instead, Honey and Elias woke him early to go hunting with them, with Logan staying behind with Christopher. Danny trailed along, but it was fairly clear that the young Marine was along more for muscle and lookout for the two hunters. It turned out to be a good thing, because they bagged two deer and a half dozen rabbits.

Fresh meat and no worries about food for the rest of the winter has Hilltop in the mood to celebrate.

The immigrants from Alexandria are intermingling. They surprised him a little, with a half dozen people showing up. The first two to show up at the Georgian vehicles were a woman and the orphaned teenager she was fostering. Aaron and Eric, helping them ready to leave, looked sad and surprised both. Apparently, even holding a more exalted position didn't make folks want to stay in Alexandria, since Olivia was their quartermaster. Then again, that might make her better aware that things in their area weren't run as smoothly as claimed. With a child under her responsibility, it moved her to take a better option when she saw it.

He thought Honey would quite literally melt with relief when Mrs. Anderson and her sons showed up, with the slightly unexpected addition of the psychiatrist. With a trio fleeing an abusive home, he's glad she came along, even if he suspects Denise is less comfortable with people as a whole than he is.

The only real disappointment is that Aaron and Eric stayed behind. The two men are important to Alexandria's continued well-being, but Jesus is sensitive enough to undercurrents among people to know that the gay couple isn't truly accepted among the Alexandrians. While he and Ezekiel eventually both decided not to reveal their community locations to the leadership of Alexandria, he did tell the men in private where Hilltop was. He wants them to have options - or a refuge - if needed. It's not that Hilltop's any more open-minded, since he's seen some of the looks that Tim and Christopher get, but at least Hilltop's more stable.

Honey's circulating among the people with an ease he envies. He remembers Andrea's comment at the Kingdom about how Honey could have been a politician if the world hadn't ended and smiles. He can picture it clearly, her running for office in ten years or so, if they still had them. Instead, he thinks she'll probably take over one of her parents' places in running Homestead one day, if she doesn't get a wild hair to found her own community before then.

"You're looking awfully solemn for a party," Christopher says, taking a seat on an overturned bucket next to him and passing him a bottle of soda. It won't be long before there's no more of the sugary treats, he thinks.

"Just realizing it's going to be far more quiet around here after tomorrow," he admits at last.

"You know the invitation's open for you to go with us."

"I know. But I'm needed here." He doesn't think he'd fit in well at Homestead, in some ways, because he's picked up enough of their system to know that someone wandering on their own like he does would probably give Honey's mother a stroke. They don't necessarily need someone like him there, and Hilltop does.

"You gonna hold to your promise to visit?"

Something in the nurse's tone makes him turn to look at Christopher. "Of course. It's not the impossible journey I thought it might be before."

"Good. I wasn't looking forward to having to come track you down if you broke her heart by breaking that promise."

"Christopher, we aren't a couple. You realize that?" His own people making that assumption is one thing. But he was pretty certain Honey's knew better, although thinking on it, only Elias and Abraham were present for the conversation he had with Honey about his sexuality.

The other man does nod. "I was fairly certain you weren't sleeping with her since you two never ask anyone else to watch Logan. Besides, I've known her since she was six years old. I usually know the subtle differences in how she treats a man she's sleeping with." He tips his bottle toward where Honey's leaning against Tim and talking to some of their shooting students. "It's how I knew when she stopped sleeping with Tim."

That startles him and he does try to analyze the body language between the indicated pair. It's just friendly, no more or less than he's seen her with anyone else. "You were both sleeping with him?"

That gets him a shrug. "It overlapped for a week or two. I've never directly asked when they stopped, but it was before he and I realized we wanted something more than casual around the new year. I'm just waiting on her to catch up to the fact she's serious about her awkward little engineer she left back home."

"If you think she's in love with him, why caution me about breaking her heart?"

Christopher gives him a sad smile. "You can love someone without being in love with them, my friend, and I assure you, Hannah Dixon's claimed you as one of hers. Her family doesn't turn loose easily once they love you." His smile brightens. "Dated her sister for three years, and I think I've spent more holidays with Honey's family than her own sister in the last ten years."

That startles Jesus a little. The obvious affection between the two men makes it easy to assume they've been a couple a long time. "You're bisexual, like Tim?"

"No." The other man laughs. "I was a fifteen-year-old queer kid in rural Georgia in the late nineties. My best friend was a biracial girl in an area almost exclusively white. People assumed we were dating, so we just went along with it. By the time she left for the Marines and I left for college, I was family and they dragged my brother in too. My mother does her best to ignore any partner I have, but Honey's father? He invites them to dinner and gives them a shovel talk on my behalf, although my last boyfriend before the outbreak said Honey was more terrifying with hers."

"It must make for a unique place to live, with her family mostly in charge." The long association with her family explains why Christopher speaks Chamorro fluently, without any of the hesitation Danny has.

"Perhaps. More importantly, it's safe for people like me, and not the bullshit acceptance Alexandria has for Aaron and Eric because they're useful."

"You sound like Honey in trying to convince me to leave."

"As much as I wish you would come with us, I understand your reasoning the same way I understand Aaron and Eric's. Hopefully one day both communities will be at a point where your assistance is no longer needed, or they'll realize like we do that life's too fucking short for caring about who is in whose bedroom."

"Some would argue that procreation's a pretty big issue now." Jesus can almost see ideas about babies floating around his community now, with word via Harlan that another community is having a baby boom. Knowing there's adequate food and decent allies out there? He suspects Hilltop will have its own baby boom before long.

"Procreation doesn't require a lifelong monogamous commitment between the biological parents. Straight couples have been proving that for centuries, and I've certainly known enough lesbian couples who've worked around that issue." Christopher shrugs. "Besides, if the male versus female population of Virginia keeps on the pattern I've been seeing, men are the surplus here."

Jesus knows Hilltop certainly leans that way, with very few actual single women. Most of the women here made it to Hilltop with at least a husband, several with children also. It's the benefit of the community being established early on by the government. Those who've been found later, those families usually aren't intact anymore.

"I won't forget to visit," he adds finally, remembering what started the discussion. "And we have the radios."

The happy murmur of conversations over good food is interrupted... by Andrea's resounding slap.

"Damn. Wonder who won the bet?" Jesus mutters.

The blonde certainly got some swing into the blow, because you can see the imprint of her hand along Gregory's cheek. But instead of taking the upscaled rejection and saving face by walking off, the man just has to push his luck.

"It's the end of the world, you snotty bitch. You holding out for a doctor or a lawyer still? Guess I can see the value of a doctor, but why not a leader instead of that boy?"

Andrea just laughs, but the sound is mocking. "I was a lawyer before, you idiot. Why the hell would I want a man to define my level of success? And if I did wake up tomorrow with a sudden need to pair off, it certainly wouldn't be with a spineless asshole who requires payment to do the right thing. Leader? I've met children with better leadership abilities than you."

"Is that why you answer to a child instead of leading yourself?"

"I answer to a young woman because I acknowledge that she's got more experience outside the protection of walls than I do."

Jesus glances to Honey, to see her reaction, and she hasn't moved from her spot leaned against Tim. She's watching intently, but obviously none of the Georgians see Gregory as a potential threat for Andrea. He debates intervening, but he's tired of arguing with or for the man. Let him rescue his own ass this time.

"She's surviving because she has men to protect her."

"Let's just ask your own people what they think." She points to one of the men that Honey's led on a supply run. "You feel like you were protecting your run leader at that Costco the other day?"

The man shakes his head. "Was her that saved Roger when he didn't check that bathroom clearly enough."

That confirmed, Andrea grandstands to the crowd. "This is who you let lead your community, Hilltop? A chauvinistic pig whose only qualification seems to be that no one else wants to do the paperwork? Even more importantly, a man who doesn't understand the concept of being told no by a woman?"

Grumbles move through the crowd, and Jesus watches carefully to see who isn't objecting. Andrea has a point. As funny as the ongoing issue with Gregory's fascination with Andrea can be, what's to stop him from exerting more pressure on a woman less willing to speak up for herself? The idea makes him feel sick to his stomach. They'll have to keep a close eye out. No one will condemn him on a maybe.

"Are you suggesting a coup?" Gregory asks, aghast.

She turns back to Gregory with a glare. "A community is only as good as its leadership, and these people deserve a better chance than a man like you can give them. You aren't royalty, asshole, and even kings fall if they fail to lead."

"You think you can lead better than I can?"

"I wouldn't even try to be the sole leader of a community this large. There's a reason our home is led by a council and not a single person. We have continuity and more than one set of knowledge put into the significant decisions. No one person is stuck with all the work either."

"It could work here too," comes a remark from someone too far away for Jesus to make out in the limited lighting. Male. Maybe Earl, the blacksmith.

It gains momentum, and Jesus can see the moment that Gregory folds and elects to hold on to any section of power he can - even if shared. "And who you do think should help me lead?"

The people aren't ready for a full-blown overthrow of leadership, he suspects, because someone asks, "Who should be on a council with Gregory?"

Andrea's expression makes him think she may have blown up loudly on purpose. She looks triumphant, and he believes her lawyer background right now. He bets she looked similar in a courtroom, before.

The residents of Hilltop descend into conversation all around. It seems Hilltop is gaining a council.

~*~ AF ~*~

Abraham sits watch in the bus, watching as Hilltop beds down for the night. The community already made changes even before Andrea spawned a successful coup of the leadership structure. He could probably sleep, let his people sleep too, but it's too ingrained now to keep a watch. Only reason they didn't at the Kingdom is that it's the only place they've seen in Virginia that seems to take security half as serious as Homestead.

He's ready to be on the road home, though. Part of him thinks he might be more useful here, in a place about to have serious changes and growing pains, but that means letting go of stability he's managed and he's not ready for that yet. It'll be interesting to return in six months to see how far they've come.

He flicks the ash of his cigar out the cracked bus window and watches Andrea meander back to the camper from wherever she spent the last few hours. He hopes she's being cautious, because this ain't Homestead and all their blood tests that make the lax attitudes about who beds who possible.

He's surprised at himself for feeling no urge to accept the invitation he got tonight or the one back at the Kingdom. He knows the other two single men haven't spent all their nights alone any more than Andrea has. But the urge just isn't there for him. He suspects Hershel would tell him it's a sign he's healing a little and doesn't need vices to the extreme to cope.

He hopes it's the truth.

~*~ Jesus ~*~

Jesus leaves the bathroom and pads into his bedroom. Logan's curled up asleep already, but Honey's still awake, propped on a pillow and scribbling away in a notebook with a box of Logan's colored pencils beside her.

Knowing he could probably sing show tunes and not wake Logan when he feels safe, he asks, "Did Andrea plan that tonight?" It's the first chance he's had to ask after the abrupt change for Hilltop's leadership. Nothing he said got him out of his seat on the council. He's only grateful that apparently his primary job is still to be out and beyond the walls.

He's more surprised by the fact that two of the five people now joining Gregory are newcomers. The former Alexandrian quartermaster and the man whose journey to Georgia is the entire reason Honey's people are here are also on the council. The other two who managed the impromptu election are Harlan and Bertie the school teacher.

"Yeah."

He's not surprised she admits it. "Why? Why now?"

"Because we're going to be far away, and we like your people. We don't want you to be at risk."

It's an admission it wasn't solely Andrea's idea, at least. He shouldn't be surprised. "I didn't want to be a leader."

She puts the notebook aside and gives him a wistful smile. "I know. My sister keeps trying to get out of her council seat too. Sometimes, though, you need people in power who don't want to be there. You're the balance to Gregory."

He lets himself be tugged to the bed, lying so that his head's in her lap and he can watch Logan sleep across her. "I won't even be able to complain to you when he does something stupid." He misses her companionship already and she's not even gone, and he doesn't even want to think about missing Logan. Christopher was right in his implication that she's his family now.

There are fingers in his hair now, carding through the length slowly and methodically. "We'll talk, when we can. You'll visit us, and we'll come back to visit you since Noah's family is staying but they still want him to finish an apprenticeship at Homestead."

He wonders if that'll last as her life grows more complicated. She has someone back home. Eventually, in the way of things, she'll probably end up married. He supposes he could see life here as temporary.

"Eugene suggested we look into establishing a railroad for future traveling. He thinks it would be safer in the long run because we can repair tracks easier than roadways."

"I have this mental image of you going down the tracks on a handcart."

She giggles, one hand leaving his hair to trail along his upper spine and back. She likes to touch and he's soaked up the attention like a sponge. "Well, at least it wouldn't require fuel, but I suspect it might take a while to get here."

"We'll have to figure out what makes trading trips worthwhile."

"Think Earl would be willing to take on apprentices? Blacksmithing is something we don't have exact training on."

"That explains your fascination with his forge. But yes, he probably would be willing. Surprised someone wanted to learn, but willing."

"Good. We've got to keep skills passed on. Not everything can be learned from books."

They both fall quiet and he enjoys the attention, almost falling asleep in her lap before he remembers the notebook. It's not her usual daily notebook that fits in a cargo pocket or the one that she used for notes from Ezekiel's books. He realizes he's seen her with it several times the last few days.

"What were you working on so intently while I was in the shower?"

She reaches over him for the notebook and hands it to him. He raises to one elbow to page through it and smiles. It's a primer of sorts for her native language, the one her team uses on the radio for added security.

"It's not a real substitute for one of the textbooks back home if you wanted to be fluent, but it's enough to use as a code language when needed. Ezekiel probably still has a working copier in that old school."

He's not entirely sure he wants to share it as a direct copy. She's accompanied most pages with a quirky illustration or two. Anytime the illustration requires a person, the little stick figures are obviously him, complete with a blue cap, long hair, and squiggles for a beard.

"Thank you," he says at last, tracing one of the little figures with his finger.

"Jesus?"

He looks up to see her expression is solemn. "If I leave Oso with you, will you take him with you when you journey?"

"I'm not sure it's safe for him. I'm on foot as much as I drive."

"It'd be safer for you most of the time if he's with you." She cups his face with one hand. "I don't like the idea of you being out there completely alone, or even here, alone."

"It's a state I was used to before the world ended."

"Well, that doesn't make me feel better about it. Will you keep Oso, even if he stays here while you travel? I'm sure Michael or Olivia will look after him when you're on the road."

He's fairly sure Michael Fisher will do anything short of murder for the sister of one of the doctors who saved his life. He thinks about the huge dog, who asleep in the living room while Augustus is with some of the others. Oso is highly intelligent and he's fond of the spotted critter. He can't argue that he wouldn't mind the companionship.

"I suppose he's a better roommate than some I've had before."

It's enough of an answer to make her smile. She takes the notebook and puts it back on the nightstand before wriggling down into the bed properly.

He doesn't mind being guided into being her pillow for the night. The problem is going to be learning to sleep without the sounds of others around him.

~*~ AF ~*~

Abraham normally doesn't get bossy with his team, but today he didn't take no for an answer when he assigned Honey and her boy to ride along with him. Last thing either of them need is an audience when the reality of the separation from their third amigo sets in, and while last night's events did lower the number of people headed to Georgia by ten with some of Shirewilt's remaining citizens electing to stay behind with the Fisher family, it's still a good number of people he doesn't know. They've got that poor woman and her sons and the psychiatrist along, too.

They don't even clear the city limits south of Culpepper before the boy's cried himself to sleep. It takes Honey longer to give in, and it's quiet when she does. The silent tears bother him more than if she sobbed, so he reaches out to squeeze her shoulder.

She glances at him, and the tears make her look younger than she is. Despite her looking nothing like his Becca, it doesn't seem to matter much in his need to fix something unfixable.

"You know, we could turn around. I'm pretty sure that between me and Tim and Danny, we can take the man down. Lotsa duct tape and we can be halfway home before we let him loose. Get him down there to your mama's clutches and he'll be mothered into staying."

Carol would, too. Jesus has just enough hint of lost boy to him that the Dixon matriarch would latch on to the young man and adopt him as one of her own.

She giggles and takes a deep breath, reaching up to squeeze his hand on her shoulder. "Thanks, Abe. But they keep telling me I can't kidnap people for their own good, so I think Mama might frown on us bringing him home that way."

He gives her shoulder a pat and drops his hand back to the steering wheel. "We can say it's the boy's idea. He's too cute for her to stay mad at."

She smiles at that and wipes at her face, drying the tears so she looks more like the young woman he swore on his own life to Carol he'd protect and less like a girl his Becca's age.

He hopes getting her home to her family and Eugene will cure most of her heartache. The little boy, well, he's sure that being swarmed into Clan Dixon will soothe his hurts as well.

They've been gone a month now and he's hoping to make the trip home in three or four days. Hopefully his friend Eugene will appreciate getting his girlfriend back for Valentine's Day.

~*~ Jesus ~*~

Starting out his first day as a member of the Hilltop council by going on a run probably isn't the best example to set, but they knew what they were getting when they selected him. He tried to stick around and involve himself, but after agreeing he would teach a self-defense class, he realizes there's not really anything he has to be here for. Harlan's used to being the voice of reason when he's outside the walls and is more than capable of helping Hilltop adjust.

It only took one trip to the trailer to feel how empty it is with them gone for him to feel the itch to move under his skin. There's too much there that reminds him who isn't. Hugging them goodbye this morning was nearly physically painful. Even life going from group home to foster home and back didn't prepare him for the ache in his chest.

The best and worst part is the carefully drawn loose sheet he finds in the notebook wrapped around a Polaroid of her and Logan with him, taken at the Kingdom. Most of the little primer are useful words, with little of the cultural meaning, but this one page and its photo are obviously meant just for him.

Agofli'e, inked on the bottom of the Polaroid in permanent marker. Her expressive cursive on the explanatory page goes on to explain that the base word means literally "to see", but it's meant to express platonic affection or love. Gofli'e, to really see someone, a word now adapted to express platonic love. Agofli'e, to indicate it's mutual.

Coming from the first person in a long time that's really seen him, with that look of understanding she sometimes got that made him forget her chronological age entirely, the words suits.

He wonders if Honey would be amused that he didn't make it past ten a.m. before he's clearing the gates with Oso at his side. The dog looks as down as he feels.

"You miss them, too, don't you, buddy?"

Talking to the dog means he expects his ears scratched, so Jesus obliges. "Let's go find something useful, boy."

The Polaroid rides in a pocket safe above his heart. He grew up alone and adrift, something that colored his adult life and made him unable to feel settled or secure. But now, no matter where he goes, there are two people in this world who are especially his.

Agofli'e, indeed.