Disclaimer: The regular disclaimer still stays in place, I owe nothing but the AU and OC. The rest belongs to JKR.(pl)


Chapter 20

She felt like she was drifting through the mist of time. A steady rhythm humming below her. Warmth and peace radiating from below into her tired bones. Ron. A moment he was holding her hand, then they were running together across the ocean shore of the Shell Cottage. Ron, giving her a bunch of wildflowers. And the next one was Ron, sneaking into her bed at the Burrows. He loved her through his sloppy kisses, holding her face in his sweaty palms. But all she could think of was his shining honeydew eyes. His eyes would say it out loud. He was truly deeply in love with this bookworm. And he would love her…She had brought her hands up to hold his head to reciprocate his ardor kisses. But then, his face had started melting. Like ice, like a figurine burning from inside… His eyes had grown wild in terror, his mouth had grown wide and deafening her senses, his scream of agony had echoed through her body…and slowly he had started vanishing in thin air, like smoke losing its identity.

"Ron…no…. Ron…don't leave me…don't please come back…" She had cried out to the dissipating figure of her lover.

The very next moment, she had felt herself half tangled over a sleeping Severus Snape. Her husband. No, this is a bad dream, a joke of the universe. She had all but pushed herself away from the prone man. Disgusted and ashamed of herself. How could she forget, how could she allow herself to give away what she had been saving for Ron?

Clapping her hand over her mouth, she had tried hard to keep her screams bottled up. Managing to untangle the twisted sheets away from her body, she had hastily grabbed at her tunic, still lying at the foot of the bed, and had dashed into the adjoining bathroom. Closing the door shut, she had rested her forehead on the cold wood. Her head was reeling, her breath labored. Her senses had been tossed into a hurricane. Staggering into the shower, she had realized the first time. The showerhead, registered movement, and water, lukewarm would pour in a steady drizzle, at the presence of a human occupant.

She wanted that water to grow hot, melt her sweaty skin, burn it actually. There were many creatures that could shred their skin. If she could somehow do that…? Her skin, its ghosting hair, its mosaic patterns, its softness, its brushes, its smell and everything that she secretly thought would excite Ron- she would gift him all that. But instead, she had given those little beautiful everyday things to a dour man. Her husband, who until last year was her teacher. A person she actually never loved.

But then, all these that transpired some time ago? Those wisps of emotions, his insecurities, his baffling discoveries of how he could make her respond to his touch, to his lips, to his hovering breath, to his thrust, to his vibrating rhythm, to his call, to his whispers of love and adoration. SO many times, was she close to peppering him with kisses, just like he had showered nipping bites, leaving his signature on her blushing skin. There were times when she thought he was riding into the heart of a raging battle, and then he was simply, staying afloat on the surface of a quiet lonely pond in the heart of a dark forest.

Hermione was an avid reader but never had she come across a character who could draw enigma with poignant words. This man, on the other side of that closed bathroom door, had drawn motifs, and patterns of love and affection on her. Like a painter's brush strokes busy adding color to those fluffy clouds witnessing the setting of the Sun over the distant Horizon. Through varied pressure of his fingers, he had told her again and again, she was meant to be alive. She was powerful beyond her imagination. And that he would love her, cherish her, hold her, battle her fears and hide her tears from the brutal world.

Sev…NOT She belongs to RON BILIUS WEASLEY! She had started scratching her skin raw. There were glaring red nail marks on her arms, legs, and slowing they had started extending to other parts of her body. She had to remove these sullied layers of skins, get rid of it, it had become toxic. She dared not to close her eyes, the sprays of her troubled them, but she preferred to punish them. They were supposed to look for Ron and not decide to fall…!

"NO!" the single word rolled about the small confined space, vibrating rejection echoing over the walls, piercing through millions of droplets of water, mingling with the wasted stream and found its way down the cornered drain. Why was she so confused? How she could stop thinking about Ron, had she not promised herself, that Ron would be the one to reside in her heart. Had she not taken inspiration from the man she had just slept with.

The man? YES! That MAN! He had loved Lily Potter, and now he had made love to her. How on earth had he managed to? But then…Running her frustrated hands through her heavily wet chestnut hair, she had tugged at them, gulping another scream. And his actions were genuine. He had kept his mind open to her. She had seen, his thoughts getting reflected in her head. His uncertainties, his torn emotions at being not good enough for companionship. And he had also doubted himself if he would ever be a father caring and loving unlike his own? Father! Like she was truly going to be pregnant, as if she would assist in the growth of a child, like, it was actually happening? Was she insane, when had she gone so beguiling?

She had slapped at the jade black walls. Angry slaps that strung her palms. She was Ron's. If she was to lose it, her well-kept virginity, it was Ron's to have. Ron Ron Ron…. she couldn't allow herself to be someone else's this was a crime. And she was going to punish herself, yes, she will have to join Ron. Dripping wet, she had jumped out of the shower and had grabbed the tunic. She had held on to the washbasin, and her eyes had caught those visible love bites. Marking her his. Why did he need to be so passionate about everything? As if she was a musical instrument and he had transformed himself into a maestro. His fingers had strum at her strings, blown out her shyness, paced her heartbeat to dance at the beat of erotic music. And he was uncertain? No, No, what magic is this, that is drawing her to him. She was Ron's. This is a crime; she had bellowed angrily and had flung the bathroom door open.

The sudden bung had made him jump off the bed. Still, in utter shock and disbelief, she had looked back at him, her arms stretched out beside her petite body, holding onto the door frame for support. But her stupor had lasted for a second or two. Screaming her lungs out, a resounding "NO!" she had turned. Her wet hair had turned into several knives slicing through the warm bedroom air.

Throwing the adjacent bedroom door open, she had broken into a desperate run. Unmindful of where she is heading to, she had kept chanting "Ron, Ron, Ron" her sobbing voice was ringing loud in the empty castle. In no time, she was climbing stairs. Up and up. She had kept going. Open sky. At last. her legs had started throbbing in pain. But it will soon be over, she will be with Ron, all she needs to do is just take that leap of faith. For love, For Ron. She had continued to trudge on towards this edge of the flat platform of the Astronomy Tower.

She had nearly taken the final leap…when two hands had shot out and had grabbed her waist and had hurled her backward. They had fallen like a heap of flesh and bones. She had been shrieking like a banshee, kicking and scratching those bony arms pinning her down to life, when flying off to death was so euphoric.