73. My family (Part 1)

My gaze fell on the sickly smiling Umbridge when we entered her classroom. I forced my features to a cold expression although I felt more than uneasy under her bulging eyes. My attention was suddenly drawn elsewhere when Hermione sat done at the table next to Draco and Blaise. My heart jumped in my chest and I quickly took the seat that was closer to my brother. A small smile was tugging at my lips. Before I could stop myself my eyes were flickering to the left. Neither paid me any attention but I could not have cared less. Knowing that they had agreed to meet was filling me with endless joy.

"Why, Ms. Jackson. I believe I told you to sit in the front row last week, didn't I?"

The happiness in my heart evaporated in thin air and I stared at our teacher. Heads turned in my direction and I felt my brother's eyes burning in the side of my head.

"I am certain you did not," I replied. Umbridge cleared her throat and smiled sweetly.

"Pity. But then I'm informing you now. You will sit in the front row for the rest of this year."

A cold shiver was running down my spine. The nagging feeling of dread filled my body as my mind was working rapidly. "And why if I may ask?"

"As I told you already. I am keeping a close eye on you."

I scoffed coldly. "I asked for an adequate reason."

Umbridge chuckled and folded her hands in front of her. "Oh you know why, dear. The very same reason every teacher keeps an eye on you of course."

My body froze with icy fear and blood rushed loudly through my ears. She could not mean my father, could she? Most teachers knew who I was. Did she know? My heart was hammering in my chest. Then the Ministry knew as well. And if they knew about me…

Burning anger replaced coldness and ripped me out of my thoughts. I narrowed my eyes at a smiling Umbridge. The blood was boiling in my veins and I felt like exploding. The Ministry – and therefore also Umbridge, were free to make my parentage public whenever and however they wished.

I gritted my teeth and glared at the woman clad all in pink. A sick smile tugged at the corners of her lips, making my stomach clench in disgust. Aggressively, I snatched my bag and grabbed the book from the table. My feet wanted to turn towards the door but my mind interfered. Ignoring Umbridge and the rest of the class, I walked towards her and sat down at the table in front of her. I kept my burning gaze on her desk as not to express my anger. It would only end up in detention.

"Wands away, please. As we finished Chapter Two last lesson, I would like you all to turn to page thirty today and commence Chapter Three," Umbridge' instruction reached my ears. I clenched my jaw and opened my book. I wished nothing more than to burn this waste of paper in front of me. Little did I knew that this was only the beginning of Umbridge's harassing games.

Harry had had another detention with Umbridge this evening. Apparently, he had received it during Care of Magical Creatures but I had been too distracted by a certain blonde to notice. It was nearly midnight when he climbed through the portrait hole. His hand was bleeding so severely now that it was staining the scarf he had wrapped around it. I shivered with disgust when I remembered the terrible feeling the Black Quill had provoked. Slowly, I stirred the strained and pickled Murtlap tentacles in the small bowl to a yellow liquid. Surprisingly, Severus had not hesitated to give them to me when I had asked him after dinner. Since it was for Harry, I would have expected at least one remark.

"Here," I said and looked at Harry. I pushed the small bowl to him when he cast me a questioning look. "Soak your hand in that, it's a solution of strained and pickled Murtlap tentacles, it will help."

Harry placed his bleeding hand into the bowl and he let out a deep breath of relief. "Thanks." I cast him a smile and he grinned.

"I still reckon you should complain about this," Ron said in a low voice. Harry's grin vanished and I scoffed.

"No," replied Harry flatly.

"McGonagall would go nuts if she knew-"

"She probably would," I cut him off and crossed my legs. "But how long do you believe it would take Umbridge to pass another decree saying anyone who complains about the High Inquisitor gets sacked immediately?"

Ron opened his mouth to retort but nothing came out. Harry nodded and watched as the blood mixed with the Murtlap solution. "Do you think she was speaking about… him today? That she knows who you are?"

A spark of anger flared in my heart and I glared at the vivid flames in the fireplace. "I truly hope not… I mean if she does, she can blurt it out whenever she wants."

"She's an awful woman," said Hermione in a small voice. "You know, I think we've got to do something about her."

"Do you want to poison her?" Ron asked hopefully and a small smirk was tugging at my lips.

"No… I mean, something about what a dreadful teacher she is, and how we're not going to learn any Defence from her at all," she replied and I nodded slowly.

"I agree," I said quietly and stared at the flames once more. Absentminded, I rubbed my marked forearm. "Fudge won't change his mind so Umbridge is staying at Hogwarts. But with every day that passes my father is gaining more power. All these disappearing muggles, they are nothing but toys for him and the Death Eaters – living toys to abuse, torture and kill."

When none of them said anything I looked up. They were staring at me with strange expressions. An uneasy feeling settled in the pitch of my stomach and a cold shiver ran down my spine.

"Is something wrong?" I asked carefully and glanced from one to the other. Hermione cleared her throat with a cautious expression.

"Well," anxiously, she folded her hands in her lap, "you just made that up, did you? I mean, that can't be what's happening to them."

I furrowed my eyebrows when I realized my mistake. They were Gryffindors and had never had a proper conversation with someone who knew Death Eaters. Perhaps this was my chance to show them the real world – my world. Swallowing the lump in my throat, I straightened my back and stared at my forearm. After a long silence I looked back to my friends.

"What do you believe is happening to them? That they are being tortured once or twice and set free again?" Coldness flooded my body when I saw the horror in their eyes. "There is a reason why he is called You-Know-Who. He is the darkest wizard and greatest monster of all time."

"How do you know this? I mean, who told you all these things you know about him?" Harry asked quietly. Hermione narrowed her eyes and I knew who she had in mind.

I averted my gaze when confusion clouded my mind. "I don't know," my voice was barely more than a whisper. It was true. I had no answer to his question. There was no memory in my mind about someone telling me. I frowned at the dancing flames. How did I know these things?

"Well," Hermione said tentatively. "You know, I was thinking today…" she shot a slightly nervous look at Harry and me and then plunged on, "I was thinking that – maybe the time's come when we should just – just learn Defence against the Dark Arts ourselves."

Now it was my turn to stare ungracefully. Hermione Granger wanted to break the rules to learn how to fight? A smile tugged at the corners of my lips as pride warmed my heart. Perhaps I had been wrong to judge them in the first place.

"We can't do much by ourselves," Ron replied in a defeated voice. "I mean, all right, we can go and look jinxes up in the library and practise them, but-"

"No, I mean we need a teacher, a proper teacher, who can show us how to use spells and correct us if we're going wrong."

Thoughtfully, I traced the bottom lip with my index. "And who do you have in mind?"

Hermione heaved a very deep sigh. I froze when her gaze flickered from me to Harry and left my skin itching. "Isn't it obvious? I'm talking about you"

My hand fell lifelessly in my lap. There was a moment's silence. A light night breeze rattled the windowpanes behind Ron, and the fire guttered.

"I beg your pardon?" I asked with furrowed eyebrows. "You want us, Harry and I, to teach Defence against the Dark Arts?"

"That's the idea," Ron answered for her. Harry looked as flabbergasted as I was feeling. Hermione smiled at Ron. I unfolded my legs and cast them a dark look.

"No, certainly not." Hermione opened her mouth but I interrupted her. "Do you even know what you are saying?"

"Of course we do," Hermione replied excitedly, making my stomach clench.

"No, you don't," I got to my feet and approached the fireplace. My dark gaze wandered from Hermione to Ron. "I'm not even a witch. I haven't been born to use magic with a wand in my hands. I'm the enemy's daughter. What do you think will happen if people should ever find out?"

"I'm not talking about test results or who you are, Arya. Think about what you've done!"

"How do you mean?" Harry asked exasperatedly.

"Well, let's think," Ron said concentrated, "first year – you saved the Philosopher's stone from You-Know-Who."

"But that was luck," Harry exclaimed, "it wasn't skill."

"Harry's right," I said annoyed as Ron opened his mouth. "And if you had listened to me, we would have asked one of the teacher's for help and then they would-"

"Second year," Ron interrupted, "you killed the Basilisk and destroyed Riddle."

Anger rushed through my veins when Ron and Hermione continued listing our encounters with Darkness. How Harry had fought off dozens of Dementors at once, how I had managed to calm a raging werewolf, how we had survived the night at the graveyard. The night I just wanted to forget.

"I refuse to be a teacher for anyone," I said loudly and glared at them. "I understand why you want Harry as your teacher. People call him the Chosen One, the Boy-Who-Lived, the boy who defeated Lord Voldemort, fine. But I am Lord Voldemort's daughter, daughter of the darkest wizard of all time, the very wizard nobody, not even you, dare to call by his real name. Don't you think people will start asking questions as to why I returned with that portkey? Umbridge is obviously watching me and I don't need stupid students spreading gossip about me that will provoke her further. I hated these detentions more than the Cruciatus Curse, so I won't allow anyone else to give her a reason. If I end up in detention again, it will be by my own choice."

Fear had mixed with my anger at the thought of somebody else being the reason for a detention. No, I would not give them any possibility to ask questions. I did not want students gossiping about me in the corridors. If the wrong people heard it, I would end up hurt… again.

"We're talking about You-Know-Who. Since when do you refuse to fight?" Hermione asked confused. I did not even feel the heat from the fire as I stood frozen on the spot. It was Harry who answered since I remained quiet. I was torn between leaving and exploding. Umbridge's treatment in class today had brought me to the edge.

"That Black Quill… well… it's kind of poisoning Arya."

I scoffed disgusted and averted my burning gaze. "It is poisoning me, Harry. Dark Magic is poison for me. This quill is Blood Magic, infusing Dark Magic straight into my system and attacking my own magic along with my body… You don't know how it feels to have lethal darkness pumping through your veins instead of pure warm magic. So no, I will not teach anyone."

One last glare and I whirled around to leave to my dorm. I gritted my teeth and climbed the stairs as quickly as possible. I wanted to scream, to run and get rid of this frustrating anger. Since I had learned about my curse I felt so unstable. I could not even remember the last time I had truly been happy or enjoyed myself – except during the time with Severus…

My thoughts were whirling around Hermione's idea for Harry to teach Defence against the Dark Arts. My steps sounded muffled with the carpet that was covering the corridor's floor. It was out of question for me to teach anyone. I was a fairy with ancient magic running through my veins. I could not teach wand-magic nor did I want to. I needed to avoid attention by standing in front of students and telling them things about their enemy. They would only ask questions as to how I knew what I knew.

Letting out a deep breath, my hand wandered into the pocket of my robe. The rough feeling of parchment under my fingertips calmed my mind. Originally, I had intended to go to the room Severus had prepared for my training. But my feet had taken the way to his office instead and I found that I did not mind seeing him. I was not focused enough to explore the content of the chest anyway.

I raised my hand to knock on the door. Barely a few seconds later it opened by itself and I entered. The door closed behind me with a clicking sound. When my gaze fell on Severus sitting behind his desk I suddenly doubted whether coming here had been such a good idea. Not that I did not want to see him but the reason I had come for was not the most pleasant one. And I did not want to hurt him.

Severus looked up when I stepped closer. Obsidian eyes made me forget about my inner turmoil. A smile tugged at the corner of my lips. Warmth flooded my body, nevertheless I felt nervous and averted my gaze. I sat down, fiddling with my left sleeve.

"I assume you have a reason for coming," Severus stated but it sounded more like a question. Of course he knew, he always did. I shifted in my seat and pulled Draco's message out of my pocket. Severus' gaze flickered to my trembling hand as I pushed it to him. He frowned at me before unfolding it.

A moment of silence followed in which Severus stared at my brother's words with an unreadable expression. I bit the inside of my cheek when the silence became unbearable. My mind was calm, but my entire body felt as if every nerve was burning with energy. Although he tried to hide it, I saw the flicker of pain in his eyes. Sighing, he lowered the parchment on the desk and looked up.

"Tomorrow then," Severus said softly. I swallowed the thick lump in my throat and nodded. "You know he cares for you."

I remained silent and stared at the piece of parchment. Severus let out a long breath.

"He won't turn his back on you, Arya. This message is indubitably the proof."

"I know," I replied quietly and cast Severus a worried look. "But what if this is too much for him? What if-"

"We discussed this already." Severus stood up and moved his chair so that he was facing me without the desk between us. His features softened and warm eyes bore deeply in mine. "I know you are afraid, Arya. But this – telling them the truth, is important for the three of you to learn how to cope with this war. And as long as it remains calm, as long as the Dark Lord doesn't chose to make his return known, you still have time to find a suitable way of how you wish to proceed from here."

Severus' words extinguished the last spark of fear when the truth reached my heart. Sighing, I raised my head and stared at him. He relaxed slightly when he saw my curt nod. I closed my eyes and took deep breaths. He was right, I knew that. But I had needed to hear the words again. My muscles relaxed, my heartbeat slowed, my mind calmed when everything fell in place. I would tell Draco and Blaise the truth tomorrow. I actually wanted them to know. I needed them in my life – I always had.

I opened my eyes. For a moment we merely watched each other. To my utter confusion, Severus' eyes suddenly flashed with satisfaction and his lips twitched into a smirk. I narrowed my eyes, trying to decipher the reason for his change.

"Now, this is why you are a strong and dangerous woman, Arya Jackson," Severus stated darkly, his smirk widening. The conviction in his words struck my heart with the wild power of a lightning.

"What do you mean?" I asked hesitantly, trying to tame the wildfire of pride in my mind.

Severus got to his feet and extended one hand. The smirk was still in place when I took it and stood as well. To my surprise he bowed his head and placed a light kiss on the back of my hand. Then he straightened his back and folded his arms across his chest.

"You are one of merely a handful of people who are entirely honest about their emotions and yet capable to control them if need be. One moment you are driven by your emotions and in the next you have calmed them with indubitable reason." Severus' raised his hand and gently nudged my chin higher until I was looking straight into obsidian eyes. A hard expression settled on his features. "You are a natural fighter, Arya… Perhaps you cannot see it yet, but one day you will. Knowing yourself – your strengths and especially your weaknesses – is the greatest power you could possibly possess."

I nodded shortly and averted my gaze. A calming warmth had settled in the pit of my stomach. I stepped towards the window. The lake glittered silver in the faint light of shining stars. Thoughtfully, I stared at my own reflection.

"Do you know if Umbridge was told about me?" I asked quietly and folded my hands behind my back.

"Why are you asking?" He drawled coldly.

A sigh escaped my lips and I shook my head. "Intuition… I suppose it doesn't matter though."

"The same intuition you developed last year perhaps?" I heard the rustling of his cloak when he came closer. A smile played around my lips as I imagined Umbridge wearing nothing but black.

"I can assure you, she is no Death Eater."

Severus scoffed. "You don't say. I'm wondering whether this woman has any natural gifts except being painful on the eyes."

Chuckling, I looked at Severus who returned a small smirk. "Well, she doesn't seem to be naturally rude or insensitive."

He frowned at my reflection and grumbled. "Merely a naturally irritating imbecile."

For a moment we stared at each other's reflection. Severus was watching me with an unreadable expression. My lips turned into a smile when I turned to face him. "Thank you."

Severus rolled his eyes and glared softly at me. "Stop thanking me for everything, Elb. It's unnerving."

My smile widened. "I am entirely honest about my emotions – your words."

Severus' eyes darkened but a smirk was tugging at his lips. Two strides in my direction forced me to step back and I found myself trapped between him and the bookcase's sidewall. I straightened my back and smiled smugly.

"I never said you had to express them verbally. You are an open book to me despite the elvish trait to keep things to yourself." Severus raised a hand and caressed my cheek.

"You know me better than anyone else. But you are an open book to me as well," I said quietly and placed my hands on his chest. "So I will express my gratitude when I want to and you need to understand that I mean you no harm. I'm not thanking you to buy your help."

Severus placed his hands on the wooden wall on either side of my head. He lowered his face to mine and my heart flattered when I saw the vulnerability in his black eyes. "I know this, Arya. But I honestly don't understand why you must thank me for the things I do."

I swallowed the forming lump in my throat. My heart felt suddenly very heavy in my chest. My voice was barely more than a whisper. "All the things you do for me – I don't take them for granted, Severus. You are helping me in so many ways without even realizing, but I want you to know how much I appreciate your support – and you."

"Do you really believe I wouldn't know?" Severus' features softened as pleading eyes bore intensely in mine. "I would do anything for you without questioning, but I don't want your gratitude for my feelings. You are my partner and I want to take care of you."

"Then accept my gratitude for your care," I muttered stubbornly. For a moment it seemed as if we were looking into each other's soul. Amazed, I stared into Severus' eyes, filled with so much love and care.

"I do," Severus said softly. Although quiet, his voice made my heart jump in my chest. I raised my hand to his jaw, enjoying the feeling of his warm skin under my fingertips.

"I love you," I whispered. Severus lowered his hands to cup my face. My body felt as if the blood in my veins was on fire, leaving every nerve burning with energy.

"Thank you," Severus said almost too quiet to hear. Although his eyes were soft, I noticed the feelings behind them, as if he were longing for something.

I could not help the smile. "For what?"

"For being yourself."

Severus leaned his head closer to me and I closed my eyes. His lips brushed mine. Not innocently, like a tease but hot, fiery, passionate and demanding. In this moment, my senses had been seduced and I could no longer think straight. "Arya," he whispered slowly, prolonging each letter as if to savour them. I smiled, my heart fluttering at his voice as I buried my hands in his soft hair. Severus put his hand on the back of my head, pulling me closer to him. Never before had my name ever felt so wonderful.

Severus leaned his forehead against mine. His breaths were caressing my lips and making my skin tingle. His hand was still holding my head close, the other wrapped securely around my waist. My heart was hammering against my chest. I laid my head on Severus' shoulder and even though I was still filled with the warmth from our kiss, I shivered. My lips stretched into a smile as I closed my eyes.

"It's time for you to leave, Arya. Curfew begins soon," Severus muttered into my hair. I lifted my head to rest my forehead against his and sighed. The hand entangled in my hair tightened its hold and a shaky breath escaped my lips.

My stomach was tingling with sparks of fire when Severus pressed his lips against mine once more. He moved them demanding, as if he were desperate. I felt myself being pushed against the wall of the bookcase, Severus's body pressing against mine. My arms reached up and tangled around his strong neck. My fingers gripped his hair, pulling him closer. That provoked a deep growl in Severus' chest. A cold shiver run down my spine, leaving goose bumps all the way. Moaning, I clutched the collar of his robes.

Suddenly, he pulled away and stared at me with a bewildered expression. His breathing was heavy and shaking. Slowly, he released his hold on my hair and the hand fell to his side. My legs felt wobbly and my mind was trying to understand what had happened. The furious heartbeat in my chest was not helping to calm my nerves.

"Severus?" I whispered quietly.

My voice snapped him out of his frozen state. Letting out a deep breath, Severus closed his eyes and his body relaxed instantly. Then he raised his hand to my cheek. His gaze wandered over my face with so much care that my insides almost melted away.

"You are an adult soul in a much younger body," Severus said softly, making me shiver. "You think and speak more mature than any seventh-year. It confuses me… I am in love with a woman yet everyone else sees an immature, hormonal adolescent."

My body relaxed when my mind processed his words. This was not about his past, but the differences between human and elvish views. Although, I understood the reason for his thoughts, there was still an itching pain in my heart. I placed my hands on his shoulders, my thumbs gently caressing the bare skin of his neck.

"Age is but a number, not a state of mind or a reason for any type of particular behaviour. I have heard and read this line a few times now… But most people live with conventions which make it impossible for them to truly believe in it."

Severus shook his head with a pained expression and closed his eyes. Concern made my heartbeat fasten as I tried to ease his troubles by raising a hand to his cheek. Tenderly, I brushed the corner of his lips with my thumb.

"I love you, Severus Snape," I said insistently, silently praying him to open his eyes. "I don't care about my or your age. I only care about you and I would never wish for you to be anyone else."

Severus' eyes snapped open and I found myself staring into perturbing frustration. A cold shiver rushed down my spine and I lowered my hand to his chest. Swiftly, he placed the palms of his hands against the bookcase. Flashing eyes were boring into my soul and multiplied my worries.

"You don't understand," he growled angrily, although it was more to himself. "I… I tend to forget how young… unexperienced you are – I have never – I treat and think of you as a woman, lose myself in my own feelings, but then I pull back and see that my partner is also my student…"

Numbly, my hands fell to my sides when a cold sensation ran through my veins. Burning heat quickly replaced the cold and I frowned. Severus was watching me with a blank expression, but I knew he was hiding his uncertainty.

"Is this your way of telling me that my appearance makes it difficult to think of me as a woman? Do you see an immature, hormonal adolescent when you are looking at me?" I asked coldly and glared up at him. His face was so close that I saw my reflection in his eyes – black eyes that were flashing with annoyance.

"Do not put words into my mouth," Severus snapped. "It isn't your appearance that is bothering me rather than you being my student. I am your teacher and that is everything I can ever be. I will never have the right to offer you what you desire… what you deserve."

"My father saw to the problem of what I deserve quite well," I muttered lowly and averted my gaze.

"Arya, I-," his soft voice made me look up. His features turned blank but black eyes were sparkling with fear. "Have you ever envisioned your future?"

My heart clenched in my chest. I could not breathe. Suddenly, an old memory overwhelmed my mind, clawing painfully in my soul. I had been standing in front of the Mirror of Desire – it had been in my first year. The mirror had shown me myself as an adult with Severus and Draco by my side. The way I had been leaning into Severus, the way he had been holding me and kissing my hair… Even then, as a first-year, I had not seen a future without my brother and Severus. Although it had confused me terribly to see us together, obviously in a relationship. These last years, I had always imagined a life after the war with Severus and my brother – even more so since the Yule ball last year.

"Yes," I whispered shakily as I felt the cold trace of a single tear rolling down my cheek. Icy fear enwrapped my heart and was spreading through my veins. "I saw us… in the Mirror of Desire. It was in my first year. I wanted you and my brother in my life… Last year, the picture in my mind changed and I – I wanted you ever since."

Fearfully, I looked into black eyes. Severus was staring at me with an unreadable expression. His entire body had tensed and his chest stopped moving. My heart was hammering so loud, I was sure he heard it as well.

"I promised your mother… I swore to myself to protect you," Severus' voice was thick with emotions. His breaths were caressing my face and leaving my skin tingling. A pressure was building in my neck and freezing my entire body. Obsidian eyes were piercing into my soul.

"I wanted to take care of you… for as long as you would have allowed me to," said Severus softly. "I wanted to provide for you. I wished – I wish to be by your side, be the man to protect and support you. I wish to love you and be with you. I-," a shaking breath escaped his lips and fear flickered over his softened features, "I want to devote myself to you."

No air seemed to pass my lips. An immense pressure was clenching my lungs. My heart was furiously pumping hot blood through my veins. The pulse was rushing loudly through my ears. All I saw was the mesmerizing sparkle in Severus' black eyes.

"You… want me?" I whispered mesmerized. Since I had learned the truth about my non-existent future I had not dared to think about what life Severus had envisioned for himself. Only now, when I was staring into his genuine eyes, did I understand why he refused to promise me to survive this war. I was his future. A future he would never have.

Severus cupped my face with his hands and rested his forehead against mine. His breath tingled my skin and a low groan escaped his lips. "Despite your impressive mind, you are capable to be frustratingly stupid, Ms. Jackson."

I chuckled and wrapped my hands around his strong neck. "I admire your trait to wrap praise and insult in one sentence. Very intriguing at best."

"Which might possibly be the reason I question your sanity at times," Severus sneered and ran his hands down my back.

I pulled back to look into his flashing eyes. A wide smile was tugging at my lips. "Although, I believe it to be more beneficial for my health to simply declare you as hopeless."

Severus' lips stretched into a dangerous smirk. "I sometimes wonder if you know who I am."

"Oh, I know who you are, Severus Snape."

"I very much hope so," he drawled. "It would be a shame to have my heart lost to an imbecile."

I chuckled and shook my head. "Perhaps you could at least stop tantalising those who are trying to help you."

"No, I would get bored," Severus stated blankly and cocked a black eyebrow. "Furthermore, no trait reveals as much about one's loyalties and personality as anger does. Anger brings one's deepest convictions to the surface – whether it is suppressed or not."

I tilted my head as I was thinking about his words. It was true that anger could not be faked. People tended to lose control in their annoyance. My absentminded nod snapped me out of my thoughts and I smiled. "You are hopeless with a lot of things, or most things in fact but occasionally, quite by accident, you say something useful."

Severus' lips stretched into a smirk and a warm feeling spread in the pit of my stomach. "How… human to lie so bluntly to my face, Elb. Try not to make it a habit or I might find you just as irritating as anyone else."

"It's reassuring to know that we share the same values, although I'm probably not as obstinate as you seem to be when it comes to avoiding people," I said with a mocking frown.

"Nonsense, I love people," Severus drawled unenthusiastically. I chuckled and his eyes sparkled with mirth.

His gaze flickered over my face and he raised a hand to brush strains of hair from my forehead. I shivered as gentle fingers teased my skin and my smile faltered. My heart flattered in my chest when my thoughts returned to his tender yet cautious declaration of feelings. Nervously, I lowered my head as my thumbs brushed the soft skin of his neck. I knew what I wanted. I knew what I was feeling for him. Never before had I felt the urge of possessiveness, but I wanted him to belong to me. Perhaps it was because of my curse, facing my impending death, or because he was my fairy-love.

Severus lowered his face to the crook of my neck. A shaky breath escaped my parted lips when I felt his hot breathing against my sensitive skin. My fingers wandered into his hair and I tilted my head. Passionate lips were kissing and sucking my skin, evoking a moan from me. His hand buried deeply in my hair and I shivered in his arms.

"Be honest with me, Arya," he muttered against the sensitive skin under my ear and I pressed my nose deeply in his hair. "Did my words frighten you?" To my utter dismay, Severus' lips left my skin and he raised his head until his nose was brushing my cheek. My body was melting in his arms with his hot breath on my face, the pounding heart in my chest.

Tenderly, I placed my lips on his for a loving kiss. Then I looked up into the unguarded, caring darkness of his eyes. I closed my eyes and rested my forehead against his. For some reason I felt afraid but also confusingly content.

"No," I said anxiously and swallowed the thick lump in my throat. "I know I love you and not just as a meaningless crush. There is this indescribable pull in my mind, in my heart. I know I'm young and inexperienced, but I know that you are my fairy-love. I – I want you. There is this powerful possessiveness in my heart and it scares me… I – I want you to – to belong to me. I want to be your woman – give myself to you – your Elb."

I was trembling, my body tense and my eyes squeezed shut. Rapid, shaky breaths left my mind spinning. Although I felt relieved to finally have spoken it out loud, even though Severus had been honest about his intentions, I felt scared that my words were too much.

Severus turned his head and pulled me into a soft kiss. It felt as if the weight lifted from my soul. I sighed against his lips and relaxed. I pressed myself even closer against his chest when his hand entangled passionately in my hair. My heart was racing. The growling moan in his chest provoked my body to burn with passion. I loved Severus Snape and I knew he loved me. Nothing else mattered, no one else existed as we were losing ourselves in one another. His gentleness felt like heaven. So many promises, so much care were lying in our kiss. Now that we had expressed our deepest feelings, this kiss felt more intimate than any other and let us explore each other more fully.

When Severus pulled back to rest his forehead against mine we were both breathing heavily. Obsidian eyes stared into my soul with an intensity that I had never seen before.

"Let me love you," Severus whispered against my lips. My heart was racing and my knees became too weak to support my whole frame. "I promise, one day, we will consume the feelings we both share, together. I will illustrate my love to the fullest extent that I am able to give if you will have me."

I pressed my lips against his once more as my emotions overwhelmed me. My lungs were not getting enough air. I felt a pressure in my head yet it felt lighter than ever. Blood had turned to a burning liquid, heating my body but leaving my skin freezing.

"Yes," I whispered and laughed softly. My entire body was trembling with excitement and joy. "Yes, dozens of yes. My heart is already yours, Severus, and one day my body will be yours as well. I promise."

Severus cupped my face with his hands and stared intensely into my soul. "I have never deemed your body to be unworthy of your soul, Arya Jackson. I am in love with a woman and I will never treat or see you as anything less."

I nodded and tightened my hold on the back of his head. My lips stretched into a satisfied smile. "I love you."

Severus pressed his face into my hair and I buried mine in the crook of his neck. I felt the racing heartbeat in his chest against mine. "I am yours, Arya. I have always been since the day I first met you. This pull you feel, this possessiveness, I felt it all these years."

Warm joy filled my heart and every nerve seemed to explode with energy. I smiled and placed a kiss on his neck. "Thank you."

Severus chuckled into my hair. "What for this time?"

"For being yourself," I repeated his words and pressed my face into his skin. The scent of Potions and fresh herbs in my nose made me feel dizzy. I wanted to touch his skin. I wanted him to kiss me the way he had kissed me at Grimmauld Place this summer. Our bodies could not get closer than they were in this moment but I felt still too far away from him. I shivered in his arms.

Severus moaned lowly against my ear. He raised his head and let out a long breath. "You ought to go now, love."

I inhaled his scent one more time before reluctantly pulling back. Almost instantly Severus stepped back and watched me with an unreadable expression. The pull was back and looking at him was enough to turn my legs wobbly. My entire body, my heart, my mind were yearning for his embrace. It took all my willpower to ignore the almost aching power that was seducing me to step closer to him.

Severus clenched his jaw and turned away. A dark expression settled on his features and he grunted in annoyance. He crossed the room to his desk and rustling of parchment reached my ears.

"Is something wrong?" I asked confused and stepped closer.

"It's past curfew and Umbridge is responsible for today's rounds," he growled lowly as he wrote furiously on a small piece of parchment. A cold shiver ran down my spine, relentlessly replacing the comfortable warmth of Severus' embrace.

"You aren't writing me a slip, are you?" I frowned at him. Placing the quill aside he stood and pushed the note in my direction.

"Take it," Severus commanded and folded his arms.

I cast him a dark look and took the note. It was indeed a slip, excusing me being outside my dorm after curfew… because of detention. "No, I won't."

Annoyance had settled on his features as he cast me a hard look. "You will. I won't let you end up in detention with this woman because I lost track of time."

I scowled at him and shook my head. "If she sees this, McGonagall or the Headmaster will know as well. I don't want you to run into trouble for abusing your status."

Black eyes were glaring as fiercely and he curled his lips. "I will be admonished, nothing more. They can hardly do anything else."

I frowned at him as he cocked an eyebrow to his hair. Unfazed by my gloomy expression, black eyes kept burning into mine, daring me to object. I clenched my jaw and pushed the note into the pocket of my robe.

"If you get in trouble because of this, I won't come after dinner again," I muttered half-heartedly.

Severus sneered. "Tell yourself whatever you need to sleep at night."

"Remind me to curse Umbridge once this school year is over," I frowned thoughtfully.

"Yes, remind me to remind you to get in line," Severus' lips twitched as a dark satisfaction flickered over his pale features.

A chuckle escaped my lips and I shook my head in disbelief. Although a small part of me would not have been surprised if he had already envisioned cursing her. Then again, he was certainly not the only one.

"Well, I really should take my leave now," I sighed and smiled slightly. Severus nodded curtly and stepped closer. Raising one hand to rest reassuringly on my shoulder, he placed a tender kiss on my forehead. My eyes flattered close against my will as a warm tingle flared in my stomach.

"Arya," Severus said sternly and I hummed questioning. "Don't even think about renouncing this note if you should cross her."

My eyes snapped open and I found myself looking into dangerous eyes. The authoritarian power that was radiating from him enwrapped my smaller frame and I nodded automatically. As soon as my mind snapped back to work, I averted my gaze and frowned at myself. Since when did I subordinated to his authority? Probably my feelings' fault…

"Well," his emotionless voice reached my ears. The mask of cold indifference had settled on his features as he stepped back. "Then you may leave my office now."

"How generous," I rolled my eyes and walked to the door.

"There are a few matters I need to tend to which require preferably undisrupted silence," Severus drawled before nodding pointedly at the door.

I nodded and cast him a mocking smile "Well, don't brood too hard. I wouldn't want you to hurt yourself."

"Insolent brat," Severus growled half-heartedly as he returned to his desk.

I smirked at my hand on the doorknob. "You do realize I can hear you."

"You do realize I don't care," Severus snapped annoyed and I chuckled to myself, "now get out, Jackson."

"Petulant, very petulant, Slytherin," I mumbled tenderly and closed the door behind me.

Luckily, I did not need the slip Severus had given me so I burned it as soon as I arrived at the Gryffindor common room. My heart felt much lighter after having spent time with Severus who had successfully given me all the strength I needed to face my brother and best friend tomorrow. I would tell them the truth about my curse…