Neshomeh [Off-site review]: Well, you asked... ;) I had some extraordinarily dedicated reviewers back in the day - we were a whole weird community by the end - so let's see if any of them find their way back...

The Spirit of 2003 lives on! I've taken the opportunity to upgrade the Secret Diary-esque line in the last chapter to an actual Secret Diary reference, so thanks for that. ^_^

And here we go...


The Golden Wood was not all that golden.

Oh, it was goldenish. Golden enough. The mallorn-leaves certainly had a hint of gold about them, as one might see just as summer turned to autumn. But from the descriptions in Uncle Bilbo's old tales, Frodo had expected something more... impressive.

The Hobbit sat between the silver (not gold) roots of a towering tree, fiddling absently with the actually-gold Ring on its chain. He had been taking a walk, but the aforementioned roots presented a trip hazard that his feet seemed inexorably drawn to. So he had found himself a comfortable spot near to Galadriel's Mirror and settled in to listen to the birds and contemplate the vaguely disappointing colour scheme.

Unbidden, the idea came into his mind that if he slipped on the Ring, he could admire Lothlorien in the Unseen Realm, where it might look a bit better. Frodo sighed and pushed the thought down with the ease of long practice. Gandalf (and the wizard's fate was another thought he had to quash) had warned him that his burden would try to overwhelm him, and it was getting more insistent, but he had it under control, he was-

SPLAT!

The Ringbearer tumbled backwards (and a part of his mind screamed 'unfair! I didn't even trip!'), scrabbling at the syrupy, pasty mass covering his face. He pulled it away at last, and stared down in shock and disbelief at the mess in his hands.

"Oh, no," Frodo breathed, as the recognition hit him like a disc of fried batter to the face. "I've been... pancaked!"

The sound of Elvish laughter faded into the forest, leaving Frodo alone with his dismay.


I have missed those SPLATs more than I realised. :D