Chapter Seventy-Nine


"Let's not fight, I'm tired, can't we just sleep tonight?

Don't turn away, it's just there's nothing let here to say

Turn around, I know we're lost but soon we'll be found

(I know we're lost but soon we'll be found)"

Soon We'll Be Found [Sia]


Tony didn't know how long they laid there for. He had his head pressed into Loki's chest; one of Loki's hands had settled on his ass, the other threaded through his hair.

Tony shifted ever so slightly and let out a sigh.

'Do you require anything?' Loki murmured.

'No,' Tony said, then paused to actually think about it. 'Um… maybe a shower?' he said. 'In a minute,' he added when Loki sat up slightly. 'I'm liking this.'

Loki settled back down, and Tony inhaled deeply. Gods, it was good to be home.

'So, uh…' He snaked his hand up Loki's shirt, just to feel the warm skin of Loki's belly, then his chest. A part of him needed the reassurance that Loki was here. 'We're good, yeah?'

Loki huffed out a laugh. 'Tony, I have never been better.'

'You sure?' Tony frowned slightly. 'You believe me, right? I don't care what you think-'

'Tony,' Loki interrupted before Tony could say the words. The fingers in Tony's hair dug into his scalp. 'I… don't believe that I will ever truly stop thinking those things. But you… you complete me. And nothing will take you away from me. Nothing.'

That venom had entered his voice again; that tone of voice that promised pain and destruction if Loki's words weren't headed.

Tony let out a shuddering breath. 'We're fucking insane.'

'Yes,' Loki agreed easily.

A smirk spread across Tony's face. 'Wouldn't change it for the world.'

Loki hummed before saying, 'Nor would I.'

'We're not bonded, are we?' Tony asked. The thought had entered his mind when he and Loki had been on that ice sheet… whatever the fuck that had been.

'No,' Loki said. He shook his head and pressed a kiss into Tony's hair. 'Believe me, Tony; you would know if we had bonded.'

'Oh.'

'I have read that it is an all-consuming thing,' Loki murmured. 'That your life stops and starts again. To join with someone on that level…' He shivered. 'I cannot imagine feeling more for you than what I currently do. But there is still a hole within me; a place that yearns to connect to you.'

Tony's heart skipped a beat at just the thought of it. 'Why haven't we bonded, then?' he asked.

Loki drew back at that and Tony looked up at him. Loki's eyes were brighter than they'd been before; still bruised, still blood-shot, but so bright.

'Do you desire to bond?' Loki asked.

Tony held back the eye roll. 'Duh.'

Loki snorted. 'If it is what you wish.'

'Is it what you want?' Tony asked. He ignored the little ache in his chest. His magic wanted to bond; Tony wanted to bond… if Loki didn't-

'Of course,' Loki said, cutting into Tony's thoughts. He reached out to cup Tony's cheek in one hand. 'Tony,' he breathed, voice reverent, 'nothing would make me happier. I want little else.'

'Then why-'

'We would be incapacitated for a number of days,' Loki explained. 'You would experience everything I am; I would be lost within you.' He sighed. His hand dropped. 'We don't know what SHIELD currently have planned. You still need rest. We must plan.'

'Oh. Oh.' Well, that was okay, then. 'So, you do want to bond. Good.'

Loki smiled at Tony's rambling and leaned forward to kiss him. 'We will bond,' he murmured against Tony's lips, 'once we have the time.'

'Yeah,' Tony agreed. He sighed and gave Loki a dopey grin. 'Yeah,' he repeated.

They stared at each other for a beat, into each other, before Loki drew back. 'You need a shower,' he stated.

Tony smiled. 'Is that your way of saying I smell?'

Loki didn't answer. He got out of a bed and stretched, ran his fingers through his messy hair. He turned back to the bed and held a hand out.

Tony took it and Loki eased him out of the bed. Tony wobbled once he was upright, but Loki was there, an arm wrapped around his waist and one hand secured to Tony's hip.

'Thank you,' Tony murmured.

Loki just kissed him and helped him hobble into the bathroom.

It took so much goddamn effort to get his clothes off. Tony had to lean against the sink as JARVIS started the shower.

He stared at his reflection in the ceiling-length mirrors. His fingers went to his arc reactor.

'Stephen couldn't fix it,' Loki murmured. He stepped up to Tony's side.

Tony frowned as he touched the centre of his chest. His reactor was glowing purple.

'What happened?' Loki asked.

'It was taking too long to break the cuffs,' Tony said. 'I went into my mindscape to see if I could get my magic to do it faster. I… grabbed the element that powered the arc reactor and used that instead.'

Loki's eyebrows flew up at that. 'What?'

'I used the element,' Tony repeated. He tapped a nail along the reactor. 'My magic replaced it.'

Loki just stared at him, brows now furrowed. Tony met his eyes in the mirror.

'Energy manipulation,' Loki mused.

'What?'

'It is not something you should be able to do,' Loki said.

Tony stared at himself in the mirror. Something he shouldn't be able to do… 'Another thing to add to the list, huh?' Loki felt calm by his side, so Tony figured it wasn't anything to freak out over. Not yet, anyway.

'Indeed,' Loki agreed. He wrapped an arm around Tony's waist.

'I can fix it; I have back up reactors,' Tony said. He shook his head. 'Later,' he muttered.

Loki steered him into the shower. The water pelted him from every angle, just the right pressure, just the right temperature. Loki stripped and joined him quickly. He pressed up against Tony's back and Tony sighed.

'Fuck that's nice.'

He reached back to draw Loki closer, hummed when Loki was snug against his back.

'Really?' he asked when Loki's hips met his ass.

'What?' Loki said.

Tony frowned. 'Nothing?' Loki was completely soft behind him, not even a twitch.

Loki sighed. 'I am tired, Tony,' he said. He reached around Tony for the soap, and Tony watched him squirt a generous amount into one hand. 'I have been without you for near two weeks.' He put the bottle back on the shelf and rubbed his hands together. 'It is the last thing on my mind.'

'Huh.' Tony closed his eyes as Loki slowly lathered him up. He got into every nook and cranny, held Tony's hands tenderly between his own as he cleaned them. It was like he was trying to scrub every inch of SHIELD from Tony's skin. Tony didn't mind one bit.

'Well,' Loki mused as Tony swayed ever so slightly on his feet, head tipped back and resting on Loki's shoulder, 'it seems that it isn't the last thing on your mind.'

Tony jolted when Loki's fingers fluttered over his cock. He was half-hard and twitched when Loki's fingers wrapped around him. 'Uh…' Tony blinked rapidly against the spray of water. 'Well, there's either something really wrong with you-' He pressed his ass back against Loki's crotch, '- or something reallywrong with me.'

Loki chuckled, breath hot against Tony's ear. 'Do you want me to?' he questioned.

It took Tony half a second to figure out what Loki was talking about. Christ, he was tried.

'No,' he mumbled and sagged slightly against his partner. 'As much as I want to, I think I might pass out.'

'Very well,' Loki said. He gave Tony another stroke before letting him go.

Tony lost himself in the feeling of Loki cleaning him. His hands rubbed up and down his arms, his legs, directed the water to wash all the soap away. Tony was yawning by the end of it, half asleep, only propped up by Loki's arms.

'Come along, Tony,' Loki murmured.

He was sure that he fell asleep while Loki dried him, because next thing he knew he was back in bed, Loki kissing him softly.

'Lo?' Tony mumbled.

'I'm here,' Loki said.

Tony got an arm around his waist and buried his face in Loki's chest. 'Stay,' he said.

'I'm not going anywhere,' Loki promised.

Tony smiled. 'Good.'

Clint knew who'd entered the room without looking up. His chest didn't tighten, and his head was beginning to calm; there was only one person Clint felt comfortable with these days. Clint's heart ached a bit at the thought. He'd kill for Natasha. He'd die for her. But he no longer felt comfortable with her. He couldn't have a normal conversation with her. Hell, this was the longest he'd spent in her company in weeks, and she was unconscious.

'How is she?'

Clint sighed and let his head thump back against the wall. 'A concussion,' he muttered. 'Doctors are just waiting for her to wake up.'

'That is fortunate.'

Clint glanced at him then. Thor looked troubled, brow furrowed, and usual bright aura dimmed. He hadn't been smiling much lately. 'What are you doing here?'

Thor closed his eyes before taking a deep breath. 'There are things I must discuss with you.'

'Okay.' Clint drew his knees up against his chest and wrapped his arms around them. 'Shoot,' he said.

'Not here,' Thor said. Clint looked up. Thor was staring at him, a frown marring his face. 'These words are not for SHIELD's ears.' He paused and glanced up, searching for a camera that not even Clint could see. 'Not yet,' Thor added, voice a low rumble.

Clint said nothing, and soon Thor was staring at him again, eyes troubled and fingers twitching.

'You okay?' Clint asked. Thor rarely got this morose. Sure, he'd been in a shitty mood since Stark's relationship with Loki had been revealed, but still… Clint wasn't sure he'd ever seen Thor this serious.

Thor shook his head. 'No,' he said, 'I am not. Will you come with me?' He held his hand out then, fingers stretched towards Clint.

Clint sighed. 'I've got nothing better to do,' he said. He took the offered hand and allowed Thor to pull him from the floor. He wasn't sure why the gesture felt important… maybe because Coulson was sure to be watching. Maybe this would be seen as Clint siding with Thor. Because Thor sure as hell wasn't on SHIELD's side. Not anymore. 'Where are we going?'

He followed Thor up and outside. It was dark and raining; a fierce storm was beginning to brew, bringing flashes of lightening and a wind that ripped at Clint's clothes. He had to wonder if it was natural, or if Thor was seriously distraught.

Thor crouched down and it took Clint a second to realise that he was supposed to climb onto Thor's back. It felt weird. Clint had ridden Air Thor before, but usually they were racing through the sky towards a bad guy. There was no quinjet following them, no Iron Man looping through the sky only to blast past them, a growl ripping itself from Thor's throat because Stark was somehow faster.

No, both were silent as Thor spun Mjölnir and shot them through the air. They travelled for half an hour at least until Thor dropped them atop a skyscraper. Clint slid from the god's back and almost snorted when his eyes took in the skyline; Stark Tower was a beacon before them, the letters of Stark's name a bright, shiny blue.

'I come here a lot,' Thor commented. He strapped Mjölnir to his belt and walked to the edge of the building. He sat on the edge, feet dangling over and hands in his lap. 'It helps clear my head.'

'What, staring at the enemy?' Clint said. He joined Thor, though, and ignored the pained noise Thor made at the reminder. His eyes flicked from Stark Tower to the other buildings, to the street below and the traffic still clogging the roads despite the late hour.

'Your world amazes me sometimes,' Thor said after a few minutes. Clint glanced at him; Thor's eyes were tracking what Clint's were. 'There are so many of you, and the things you have made astound me.'

Clint watched him as he spoke.

'In some ways Midgard is like Asgard,' Thor continued. 'The markets, the politics… and then there are the differences. Most of you cannot ever hope to match a god in strength, yet your police officers face Loki time and time again; SHIELD's agents stand up to him.'

'And look where that got them,' Clint muttered. He leaned forward, elbows on his knees. 'SHIELD isn't gonna beat Loki, Thor. They should give up while there's still some agents breathing.'

Thor tilted his head in Clint's direction. 'Is that what you are doing?' he questioned.

'What?'

'Have you given up, Clint?'

'I… no, I- Thor, no.'

Thor hummed. His eyes found Stark Tower once more. 'I wish I could give up,' he admitted. His words were hushed, a secret; now Clint knew why they'd left the Helicarrier. 'For all that Loki has done… he is a monster, but he is still my brother. If I could, I would turn my back on him.'

'So why don't you?' Clint asked.

'I am the Crown Prince of Asgard,' Thor said. 'I swore to protect Midgard the day I was crowned the All-Father's Heir. And Loki has killed so many innocents. Even if he stopped now, the blood of all of those he has slayed is on my hands. I could not live with myself if I walked away now.'

Clint stared at him, heart thudding in his chest, leg jiggling. His head was beginning to thump, a staccato beating in his right temple.

Thor finally looked at him, eyes soft and face understanding. 'Would you walk away, if given the chance?' the god asked.

'Yes,' Clint said. There was no hesitation, because Clint knew. Clint had no doubts, not anymore. Not since seeing what Stark was truly capable of. 'Yeah, Thor,' he continued, 'if I could I'd be fucking gone. I'd disappear; let Stark wipe out SHIELD, let him rule the world. I don't care anymore.'

'I see,' Thor said, 'can you tell me why?'

Clint sighed. 'We've talked about this,' he muttered. 'You had a hand in making Loki? Look no further to see one of Stark's creators.'

'You cannot fault yourself for everything he's done.'

'And I don't,' Clint said, 'but I get it. That's the worse fucking part.' He stood up then, unable to just sit and stare at Stark's fucking Tower any longer. He wondered if Stark was there right now. He wondered if Stark knew that Clint and Thor were so close.

'Clint,' Thor said.

Clint ignored him and started pacing across the roof. He wanted to lash out; kick at the air conditioning unit, at the concrete beneath him, at anything. Everything that'd been churning within him over the past few weeks finally exploded.

'Don't you get it, Thor?' he demanded. Thor just watched him, on his feet now and arms folded over his broad chest. 'I understand why Stark's doing this. SHIELD betrayed him. We tried to steal from him. Fury never gave a fuck about him, even before Loki dropped outta the Tesseract! I don't blame Stark for wanting revenge!'

Clint sagged suddenly, the fight leaving him as quickly as it'd flickered into life.

'The worse part,' he said, 'is that I'd do the same thing.' He smiled brokenly and his eyes felt hot. Fuck. 'I'm a professional killer, Thor, and I've killed for less. If I was betrayed like that?' He shook his head and raised his hands, feeling completely fucking helpless. 'I'd probably turn into a maniac, too.'

Silence followed his words. He fisted his hands and pressed them against his eyes, pushed until he could see stars. A hand on his shoulder startled him out of it.

'I don't blame you,' Thor said. He gave Clint a weak smile.

'Thor-'

'You are my friend, Clint,' Thor said, 'of that I have no doubt. You are not Stark.'

'But-'

'You,' Thor repeated, fingers digging harshly into Clint's shoulder, 'are not Stark. I have killed many, Clint. More have been felled by hammer than by your bow. You do not have it in you to kill the way Stark does. Destroying those who deserve it? Yes. But not innocents. Never innocents.'

A sob broke out of Clint's chest then, and he choked down the one that followed. Thor was silent as he composed himself, eyes never judging, hand never wavering from his shoulder.

When Clint felt more in control, he scrubbed at his face and said, 'You didn't bring me here to talk about me.'

Thor frowned at that. 'Well,' he said and let go of Clint's shoulder, 'not just about you, no.'

Clint… blinked. 'What?'

Sighing, Thor said, 'Do you remember what Loki called Stark?'

'No,' Clint said. He'd been too preoccupied trying to save Hill's life.

'He used the word mate,' Thor said, like that was supposed to mean something. Clint's blank face must have tipped him off, because he explained; 'A mate bond is sacred, Clint. The entire Nine Realms recognises it as a gift from the Fates; nobody would dare come between a mated pair. There are laws on every Realm protecting such a couple.'

'Okay…' Clint said, 'so you think Loki and Stark have this bond thing?'

'Aye,' Thor said and nodded. He looked far more serious than he had before, his words dripping with weight. 'Loki would not call Stark his mate if he did not mean it.'

'Okay,' Clint repeated. 'What does it mean?'

'It means that they are far more dangerous than we thought,' Thor said. 'They are connected mind, body, magic and spirit. What you saw Stark do aboard the Helicarrier is only the tip of what bonded pairs are capable of.'

What Stark did aboard the Helicarrier… Clint shivered at just the memory. He had never seen that look on Stark's face. They tossed the word around liberally, but in those moments, Stark truly had been a monster.

And Clint had been terrified.

'You saw what Stark did to escape,' Thor continued, 'and what Loki did to rescue him. What do you think they would do if they lost the other?'

Clint didn't want to imagine it, but the words escaped; 'What would they do?'

Thor's face was grim. 'The Fates foretold Ragnarök; the beginning of the end.'

'Ragnarök?'

'A time when Loki will destroy the Nine Realms; Midgard, Asgard, all of it, will fall to his power. Nothing will stop him, and Loki will destroy himself. But he will destroy Yggdrasil in the process.' He paused, wet his lips. 'Loki was willing to destroy his birth Realm because Odin lied to him about his heritage. What do you think he will do if SHIELD kill his mate?'

Clint exhaled sharply at that. Images of Stark tossing them around like toys ran through his head, was quickly replaced by Loki slaughtering SHIELD agents; by the pair of them bringing down an entire SHIELD base without breaking a sweat.

'Kill one-' Clint began.

Thor finished for him; 'And the other will destroy everything.'

Silence followed his words. They settled on the pair heavily. It seeped into Clint's bones; the knowledge of what Stark had become; what SHIELD had truly created.

'And Asgard can't stop them?' Clint asked.

'We can try,' Thor said. 'Loki faced execution or life imprisonment for his actions. Now that he is bonded with Stark, he cannot be executed.'

'Because Stark will destroy the worlds?' Clint asked.

But Thor shook his head. 'Not just that,' he said. 'Stark is Æsir by status; he became a citizen of Asgard when Loki made him a god. But he is Midgardian by birth. And no Midgardian may be executed throughout the Nine Realms.'

'But on Earth we execute people all the time,' Clint argued.

'You do not execute bond mates,' Thor said. 'The Nine Realms will not allow it.'

It truly hit Clint then, what Thor was trying to say. If SHIELD killed Stark or Loki, the other would wipe out the entire fucking galaxy. They couldn't kill Loki because of the King of Asgard's orders. They couldn't execute Stark because he was bonded with Loki.

'You cannot execute one half of a mated pair,' Thor said.

'Sone of a bitch,' Clint muttered. 'Fury wants to kill them both.'

'And I must stop him,' Thor said. 'The ramifications are too great, Clint. Even Midgard is not immune to these laws. I cannot save you if the Nine Realms finds you guilty.'

'And you want my help,' Clint realised. Thor said nothing. 'It's why you told me first, right? You want me to help you stop SHIELD from killing Stark and Loki.'

Thor was silent for a beat, clearly choosing his words carefully. 'There is more,' he said.

'What more could there possibly be?' Clint demanded.

'Your headaches,' Thor said, 'I know what is causing them.' Clint frowned. 'It is not Loki, at least not anymore. You have been given a gift, Clint… though it may also be a curse.'

Clint was beginning to get scared. Because Thor looked so goddamn sorry, like he'd done something to Clint, like it was his fault, whatever it was he was about to tell Clint.

'Thor, what is it?'

'You can sense magic, Clint,' Thor said.

The words echoed hollowly within Clint's mind. They didn't sink in, didn't stick to his skin; they couldn't, because he didn't understand…

'The Tesseract has changed you,' Thor said, 'the headaches are your mind trying to tell you that magic is near. It senses me, Loki, Stark, everything and everyone that contains magic.'

'Thor…'

'I am so sorry,' Thor said. 'It is not a gift that any Midgardian can handle. When I first discovered it, I thought that I could teach you. But what I can sense now…'

Clint met his eyes; Thor's were sad. 'What are you saying?'

Thor pursed his lips. 'It may be killing you.'

The words clicked, then. Everything snapped into place.

Clint closed his eyes.