A/N: Hi, everyone! I have another chapter for you. I hope this will take your mind off of things for at least a short time. I really hope you are all safe and healthy! Thank you all so very much for the reviews, follows and continued interest in this story. I hope you enjoy this drama lol. Please let me know what you think! Stay safe!
Chapter 84:
The sound of a click signals to Meredith that Cristina hung up on her end. She sighs as she lays with the kids. Meredith's mind was moving a mile a minute. Scenarios playing before her eyes of where Derek was and what might happen when she saw him again. Ranging from mild, making Meredith just shake her head to one's eliciting pure terror. Lifting her phone gingerly, she opens the lock screen, pausing to look at the picture of Derek. She scrolls through her recent calls list and clicks on Derek's number. "Please answer, Derek." Meredith mutters to herself. She lets out a groan as his phone goes instantly to voicemail. "Damn it." Her words startle the kids who look up from their spots around her.
"Mama?" Zola wonders.
Letting out a sigh, sucking in a big breath, Meredith looks at her with a wet smile. "It's okay, love bug. Let's go eat." She had absolutely no desire to eat, but Lexie's little fingers poking at her inflated stomach reminds her that it's not just her. She had two others to think of right now. Taking a big breath, she heaves her aching body off of her seat. Lifting Lexie with her. Her feet drag across the wooden floor to the kitchen, drifting towards the smell of Derek's cooking. She smiles down at the taco mixture made just the way she loves them. "Derek." She hums and shakes her head. Grabbing a plate, she fills three tacos for herself and scoops some macaroni and cheese into a bowl for Zola. Sighing she sits at the table with Zola across from her. Bailey slumps on the couch while Lexie toddles over to their toy area. Meredith doesn't even flinch as she watches Lexie dump out her toy bins. Her laugh echoing over the crashing of plastic play things. "Eat, Zo." She mumbles as she looks at her daughter staring into the purple bowl of cheesy pasta in front of her.
"I miss daddy." She mutters. Her face doesn't move as she doesn't look up from the bowl. Her hands folded in her lap.
"I do too, Zo." Meredith slowly picks up one taco. Despite being delicious, it's like pulling teeth to finish one, let alone three tacos. She eats them as quick as she can, each bite slowly scraping down her throat. "He will be back, guys." Meredith says firmly as she holds the last couple bites of her dinner in her hands. Taking a big breath before stuffing them in her mouth.
"Why is daddy mad?" Bailey walks over to the table and rests his arms on the dark wood.
"I… I…" Meredith pauses. "I made him mad." She finishes.
"What did ya do?" Zola asks as she takes a small bite.
"Well…" Meredith is flooded with memories of the shameful afternoon she just had as she thinks. "He's mad because…"
"Door!" Bailey gasps, interrupting Meredith's contemplation as they hear a knock on the door. "Is it daddy, mama?" A small flicker of hope lacing his voice.
"Daddy wouldn't knock, stupid!" Zola shouts and shoots daggers at her brother.
"Zola!" Meredith gasps and glares at her daughter.
"Why would he knock?! He's gotta key!" She retorts.
"That may be true, but you do not call anyone stupid!" Meredith argues with her hands on her hips. "Say sorry to your brother."
"But, mama!" Zola looks at Bailey who was crossing his arms with a trembling lower lip. His eyes wide.
"No, Zola. That was not nice." She walks over and hugs Bailey as they hear another knock. "Be right there!" Calls Meredith.
Zola glares at Bailey and sighs finally. "Sorry." She grumbles.
"Thank you, Zola." Meredith smiles before turn to walk towards the door. "Cristina!" She breathes when she sees her friend on the other side. April standing next to her with a blue box.
"Oh, Mer." Cristina pulls her into her arms when she sees the broken look on Meredith and the kids faces. "You guys will be okay."
"I'm trying to remember that." Meredith says as a fresh set of tears fill her eyes. They are spilling onto her cheeks before she could stop them.
"Hey, Mer." April comes to stand closer to them. Meredith turns as she hugs Cristina, keeping her head on her friend's shoulder. The kids walk closer as Cristina and April step inside.
"Any word from Derek?" Asks Cristina.
"No… His phone goes right to voicemail."
"Mer…" April soothes and rubs her back. She shares a look with Cristina.
"Dada?" Lexie coos as she walks up the step and toddles over to the open door. Gripping the edge of the door frame, she peeks outside.
"No, Lex. It's Auntie Cristina and Auntie April." Meredith says after releasing a languished sigh.
"Me wan dada." She nods seriously. Her black curls framing her face as she stares up at Meredith. Looking more identical to Derek in this very moment.
"He will be here." Meredith says as she moves from Cristina's grasp to shut the door.
"I want daddy, too." Bailey whines as he sits on the step going to the living room. He pouts and rests his chin on his fists. None of the kids are their normal selves and Cristina and April can recognize that instantly.
"I know, guys. I want him too." Meredith moans, looking at her friends for help.
April looks around as she thinks. When she finally gets an idea, she sits next to Bailey and pulls him close. "Bailey. You're daddy loves you and your sisters and your mama so much. You're mama is going to go and bring him back."
"You are, mama?!" Bailey asks hopefully as Zola sits next to him.
Meredith looks at Cristina and nods. Her friend is looking at her with a look mixed with determination and firmness that Meredith can only gain strength from. "Yes. I am… Aunt Cristina and Aunt April will watch you."
"Can we come?!" Zola instantly whines.
"No, love bug. Daddy and I need to talk. We will be back after we do that."
"You mean after you make up?" Cristina murmurs into her ear.
"Cristina!" Meredith gasps. Her stomach tenses with worry. "Will there even be any making up?!" She says to herself.
"Am I wrong?" Her eyebrows raised.
"You might be, Cris." Grumbles Meredith.
"Don't say that, Mer." April looks up from her spot next to Bailey. Holding the boy close.
"You guys didn't see how hurt he looked. How… How… Oh, he didn't even look that pissed when I screwed up the trial!" Meredith yells as she covers her face. Attempting to hide the new flow of tears.
"Mer… It was just a lunch and Zo was there." Cristina hugs her.
"Not to him, Cris. I would feel the same if he did that to me. He really, really hates Finn. Plus, the fact that I had his daughter with me. His princess. That's how he see's this, I just know it."
The silencing tension fills the air as Cristina and April try to figure out what to say to make it better. Meredith moans desperately, her heart racing as her head goes back. "I… Umm… Made cookies. Sugar helps." April suggests faintly. She cautiously hold out the box she was holding.
After glowering at her for a minute, Meredith smirks. "Thanks, April." She grabs four of the chocolate chip cookies out of the opened box.
"At least you're eating." April sighs.
"Not easily. I took a while to eat those tacos that Derek made. I know he was planning on talking about our other fight and I ruined it." Meredith mumbles with her mouth full.
"No… Mer, you didn't ruin it…just…"
"Added fuel to the fire?!" Snaps Meredith making Cristina jump. "Oh!" She moans into her hands as they cover her face.
"Go get him, Mer." Cristina rubs her shoulder.
"Will you both be okay?" Meredith mutters.
"Of course, Mer! I'm just going to dote on your cute little babies!" April smiles.
"I'm going to make sure she doesn't give them too many cookies." Cristina laughs.
"Okay. Guys, be good for them, okay?"
"Okay, mama." Bailey nods as Meredith kneels the best she can with her belly.
"I love you guys, come here." She opens her arms as Bailey guides Lexie to Meredith so that they are all three hugging her. She kisses them as they each pull back and look at her with sad expressions. They could read the turmoil happening with her and Derek. It completely hurt her to see that. Killed her. "I will be back. So will daddy." Her tearful gaze not doing too much to quell their fearful expressions. Tenderly, she brushes Bailey's blonde hair, staring into the same blue eyes of Derek. She then moves and tucks Lexie's curls back. Heart clenching at touching the ringlets that were identical to Derek's in both look and feel. Stomach rolling as Lexie's smile shows off her dimples. Finally, moving to smile at Zola who had some how inherited Derek's head tilt. "Thanks, guys." Meredith says to her friends before standing and turning to leave. As the door closes behind her, Meredith collapses against it with a sigh. She hears Cristina and April whole heartily promising the kids a fun night. Movies, games, stories, whatever they could to cheer them up.
"If I can even find him. Where could he have gone?" Meredith thinks as she gets into the car. After placing her purse on the seat, she digs out her phone. Opening it, she clicks Derek's number. It still goes to voicemail. With a sigh, she opens up her texts. "Derek, where are you? We need to talk. Please? I love you." Meredith types and shakily clicks send. She sits and thinks, wracking her brain for possible places he could have gone. "Hospital? No… Joe's… No… Ferries!" Meredith finally realizes with a smile. She quickly turns on her car and drives away to their spot by the ferries. Speeding slightly through the dirt paths to the city limits. As she waits at the lights and then at the ferry dock entry, she checks her phone each time. No texts from Derek. It's dark outside now. Street lights lighting the way on the chilly night. The ferries float slowly down the misty sound as Meredith drives through the lots. As she gets closer to the parking lot near their benches, Meredith looks out her windows. Hoping to see her husband on of the benches. She pulls into a parking spot in the lot right by where her and Derek like to sit. The one where they brought Bailey to talk often. Getting out of her car she locks it and walks to the sidewalk. All benches were visible from this part of the parking lot. "Derek…" She moans. "I for sure thought he would be here!" She groans and rubs her stomach. Inhaling, she closes her eyes to monitor her blood pressure. Her fingers pressing her pulse. It's slightly faster than normal, making Meredith swallow hard. "Its okay, boys. Stay calm… Please… Stay okay." She pleads. Climbing back into her car, she locks it for safety. She closes her eyes and breathes in and out. Relaxing the best she can in this moment. Her eyes flicker open as she feels the pressure of her blood lessen its raging flow through her veins. "Thanks, boys." She murmurs as her hands rub her growing bump. "Now where?" She asks herself. "Hospital? No… Why would he hide in his office?" She again drives away hoping that Derek would be at the hospital. When she gets on the ferry, she climbs out of the car in hopes that maybe he was riding the boat. The boat was mostly empty, save for several groups spread around. The upper dock was blocked off. Meredith walks through and around the boat twice before heading back to her car. Pulling out her phone, she sees no texts. Calling Derek, she is again greeted by no answer. Feeling frustrated, she waits in her car until the ferry docks. Once she maneuvers the car off of the boat, she heads to Grey-Sloan Memorial. Hurrying inside, she walks fast to the elevators, her coat flapping behind her. She hits the button to the floor with Derek's and her's office. As she fumbles with her wrist with nerves raging through her, the elevator dings and the doors open.
"Meredith! What are you doing here?" Comes Richard Weber's strong, booming voice as he steps onto the elevator.
"Umm…" She avoids his warm gaze as he smiles at her. Grumbling something about not wanting more people in on her issues, she inhales sharply. "Is Derek here?"
"Huh?!" He looks at her strange. "No…"
"Is his name on the surgery board?" Meredith asks as the elevator dings for her floor.
"No… What's wrong, Meredith?"
"Gotta go…" Meredith rushes off the elevator, down the hall. She frantically digs in her purse for their office keys. Her hands shake as they try to jam the key into the lock. "Derek?" Her voice is hesitant in calling before noticing the darkened room. The breath leaves her body when she sees the room empty. "Crap!" She curses before locking the door and running out. Meredith rushes over to more places of the hospital, the O.R board, the galleries, even checking their favorite on call room. All were empty with no sign of Derek. Meredith feels like she was walking outside her body as she trudges back to her car. Once back in her car, she rests her forehead on the steering wheel and moans. "Derek…" She whimpers as she wonders what happened. "Where could he have gone?" Without warning, as she closes her eyes while resting on the rough leather, a thought invades her mind. A very unwelcome one. Her heart breaks into a million pieces at the thought. "No… No… No…" Her hands fumble for her phone as tears fall and her breathing quickens. "He didn't…" She chokes with her eyes swelling, red and puffy. She clicks on the one number of the one person who would know what was the most likely in this situation.
"Meredith?"
"He left me…" Meredith chokes as soon as she hears Addison's voice.
"What?! What are you talking about?!" Addison exclaims, sitting up in her pink, silk, cushiony bed back in L.A.
"D… D… Derek left…" Meredith sobs as Addison listens in shock.
"What?! Meredith, why the hell would he leave you?!" Addison's voice in utter disbelief.
"Because I ran into Finn today with Zola and…and…and he sat with us… Because…oh… Because he invited us to one of his stupid pet owner, play with baby animals thingy…" Meredith moans as Addison is flooded with understanding.
"Meredith… Breathe… Meredith, breathe." Addison says softly. She continues her soft, calming words until she hears Meredith stop gasping for breath. "There you go."
"I can't find him, Addison. He left the house when he found out. Addison, he was… He was…"
"In a blind rage?" Addison smirks.
"Yes." Meredith gulps.
"Meredith. Listen to me. Derek did not leave you."
"How do you know?!" Meredith yells.
"Because."
"Because why?" Meredith retorts feeling like a five year old.
"Because he loves you and he loves your children. He is a good man. Believe me, Mer. Deep down, he knows you didn't do anything."
"I can't find him. When… When… When did he leave New York after…?" She stops hesitantly.
"Hmm, two days after." Addison replies. "I found out from one of our Colleagues at the practice. First, he left me at our brownstone. The night…it…happened. Then, the next day, half of his clothes and books were gone. I actually saw him driving off. The next day, I asked at work and one of our doctors told me."
"I'm sorry I asked that… I shouldn't have…" Meredith groans.
"It's okay, Mer."
"No… It's not."
"Yes, it is. I have long made peace with it." Addison laughs.
"Okay." Sighs Meredith before a long period of silence fills between them.
"We are friends, Meredith. So, as your friend, you can believe me when I say that Derek Shepherd did not leave you."
"I can't find him." Meredith moans. "He won't answer his stupid phone."
"Are you sure that you looked everywhere?" Addison raises an eyebrow.
"I think so…"
"I can think of two possible places…" Addison offers.
"Where?" Meredith asks as she wipes her eyes.
"Hmm, beating up Finn would be one." Addison smirks as Meredith gasps. "But…that isn't very likely as he would end up in jail. The other is the trailer."
"The trailer! Damn it, why didn't I think of that?!" Meredith shrieks.
"Because you are distraught." Addison explains.
"I will try the trailer. I can't believe that I forgot! I even drove past it!"
"Try, Mer. But, first, listen to me." Addison says. "We both know that Derek hates Finn."
"How do you know?"
"Because Derek was in a blind rage every time he saw you with him. After you had that huge fight in the stairwell…"
"Wait, how did you know about that?!" Meredith gasps.
"You guys fight loud and somehow I always managed to be around when you two were together." Addison chuckles making Meredith blush. "Anyway, after hearing that and the elevator ride after with the lovers quarrel it was the most obvious thing ever."
"What was?"
"That Derek was in love with you even way back then." Addison replies softly.
"Oh…" Meredith gasps. "I have to find him."
"Go, Meredith. Be careful, but remember. Derek loves you."
"He does, Addie. Thank you." Meredith releases a long, shuddery breath.
"Good luck, Mer." She adds before the line goes dead. Leaving Meredith to stew in her thoughts about their conversation.
"The trailer, how could have I been so stupid!" Meredith berates herself as she drives back towards Bainbridge Island. The ride back on the ferry seems to take forever as Meredith waits. Nerves filling her stomach. The sound of the horns blaring as they dock eventually pulling her out of her thoughtful stupor. She breathes in deep as she grips the steering wheel. Pressing on the gas, she follows a red Honda off of the boat. What is usually a quick trip feels as though it was doubled. The path getting darker and darker as she drives through the trees. Tonight, the road to the trailer seems scarier and less comforting than usual. Finally, she can see the familiar silver tin can. The twinkling lights were on around the porch. Right at the side of the home was a car that Meredith would recognize anywhere. "Derek." She smiles as she sees his black cayenne. Meredith turns off the car and gets out. Clicking the lock button as she walks away from the car. Climbing the steps, she knocks on the metal door. No answer. "Derek!" She calls. "Derek!" She bangs again.
"Go away, Meredith!" She jumps at his rough tone. A livid tone etched with great disgust.
"No!" Meredith shouts back once she found her reserve.
"Go, Meredith!" He snarls coldly.
"I'm not leaving, Derek! You better open the door, it's cold!" She shouts. Meredith slams on the door with her fist once more. "We need to talk!" She crosses her arms and stands right outside the door. Something in her hand jingles and she notices her key to the trailer attached to her car keys. "I forgot that I had these!" She murmurs. Quickly she stuffs the key into the lock. Twisting it sharply before pushing open the door. She looks left and then right, seeing Derek slouched in the leather seat in the kitchen at the table. His hands twisted together. Hair a mess from clearly running his fingers through his curls. His head is down and there is an empty bottle of beer on the table. Meredith notices that the pictures of them and their family that they kept on the wall and in the bedroom were either turned over or face down. Her stomach clenches at the sight as she stood in the entryway rubbing her belly. "Post it, Derek." She says anxiously.
"I don't really care about that right now, Meredith." He snaps at her as her words rush through his ears. Meredith gasps at him, feeling shocked and dismayed. After what feels like ages, eons, Derek speaks again. His voice is gravely, monotone. Meredith can hear the hurt in his voice. "How could you do this to me Meredith?!" He keeps his head down as he shakes his head. The blood boiling in his veins as his jaw tightens.
"I…" Her words are lost as she sees how broken her husband is right now.
"You of all people should have known better. I thought that you understood. I don't think I have ever felt this pissed… This livid before." He thrusts his hands out in anger. "I can't even look at you without… Without…!" He shakes his head after he yells. Meredith breathes as she looks down at his sharp tone. She has never seen him this angry before. Not the clinical trial. Not with Jen, never.
"Derek… Please, just listen to me…" Meredith urges after regaining strength. Her voice strong and stern despite the thick tension stuffed into the room. Her eyes tearing as she rubs her stomach. She closes her eyes as Derek sits up with his eyes closed and turns to face away from her. So that he is looking at the wall. "Listen to me for Zola…"
"Don't even say her name!" Derek shouts, interrupting.
"Derek! She's your daughter!" Meredith yells.
"Right now…" Derek swallows hard. "Right now… I can't even think about her either." He spats with disgust. "You saw…him…" He winces in emotional pain at his next thought. "With my daughter. My kid, damn it! So, do not talk about her!" He snaps.
"No! Derek, you can be pissed at me. You can even hate me, but you will NOT turn your daughter away for this!" Meredith puts her hands on her waist. Her eyes glaring with fire right now as her voice is raging with anger at the idea that Derek was just as pissed at their six year old.
"Fine." He says with a hollow voice.
"Listen to me then for Bailey, Lexie, Mark and Mason." Meredith rubs her stomach. She gasps as Derek finally looks at her. His eyes were sad, vacant and stormy all at the same time. Lacking the usual warm, welcoming, safe look he typically exhibited. He looked completely defeated and furious. Making Meredith feel even more ashamed and nervous.
"Fine." He spats as he grinds his tensed jaw. Immediately whipping his head away again as though he was burnt by looking at her.
"Okay…" Meredith breathes. "Derek… Fi…"
"Do not say that bastards name!" Derek snarls, pounding on the table.
"Okay." Meredith says wide eyed. "Derek, he was… He was just there…" Loosing all rational thought as she watches her angry husband.
"Don't say that! Do not say that, damn it!" He yells, standing and raking his hands through his hair. "That is what Addison said, okay?! That is what Addison tried to use when she… When…" His chest heaves as he raises his voice making it echo through the small trailer. Blood flowing like cascading rapids when he hears Meredith's voice say those words over and over in his head. Meredith is dead quiet as she watches him pant and clutch his chest. "When she tried to make what she did okay." Derek finishes with anger in his voice. Pure anger that Meredith didn't recognize.
"Oh, Derek." Meredith shakes her head. "Derek…this wasn't the same. Listen. Listen." She walks over and tenderly places her fingers on Derek's shoulder slowly. He flinches immediately making Meredith feel the air leave her lungs. He steps away, making her fingers fall from his shoulder. Shaking the feelings of hurt and being let down by his actions off, Meredith continues. "Derek, Zola and I went to our place down town. You know, the coffee shop with those cookies and the grilled cheese that she loves? It was just us for lunch. Me and Zo." She pauses to watch Derek's movements. He is leaning his weight on the table as his hand gripped the wood. "She was upset when I picked her up because…" Meredith hoped that this next part would quell Derek's anger. "Because I was mad at you… She was cranky and sad."
"Humph." Derek snorts.
"So… We were eating and then we saw rain clouds. I told her that we couldn't go to the park like we talked about. She started complaining so I tried thinking of other fun ideas. Zola said no to all of the things that I suggested to do instead. That's when… He walked over to us." Meredith mutters while looking at the ground.
"You should have told him to get away." Derek says gruffly.
"Derek, how would that have looked to Zola?!" Meredith shouts. "I was just supposed to tell a guy that she saw us talk to last night to get away!?" She yells with agitation. Her volume raising a bit.
"Yes!" Derek yells back.
Meredith rolls her eyes. "Even if I did, Zola recognized him and immediately started talking to him. He overheard us arguing about where to go and he offered to let us join his patients owners children in his little barnyard field trip. Once Zola heard, she had decided. You know her, Derek. She makes up her mind and figures out how to do it. I tried to ignore him. Tried to subtly get him to go away." Meredith shakes her head. "I offered Zola so many ideas. Even going to the hospital. She really wanted to see those animals."
"You could have made her leave." Derek snorts.
"No, not with the looks she was giving me. Besides, what would I have told her the reason was?!" Yells Meredith. Getting annoyed now.
"That I wouldn't be okay with this. That you didn't want to." Derek yells back. Staring at her with a stormy gaze.
"I asked him, Derek. I asked what it really was. He told me that there were other people who would be there. It was a bunch of his clients. I decided that I would stand back while he showed a bunch of kids." Meredith argues.
"You still had lunch with him. Let our daughter talk with him. Allowed her to go near him. Let him sit with you." He frowned and gave her a dirty look. "I cannot believe you could do this to me." He says again, full of bitterness and outrage.
"Derek, it meant nothing. Please believe me!" Meredith begs. "I'm so sorry. I'm so, very sorry." Her heart breaks as she steps closer to him and rubs his arm. Any annoyance converting to uncertainty as to if she really could get through to Derek.
"I… I… Can't… I can't look at you Mer…" He shakes his head furiously. Derek turns and storms into the bedroom. He stares out of the window. Tears streaming down his face. Memories of Addison and Mark filling his mind. Like a gunshot, they are followed by images of Meredith in Finn's shirt walking down the stairs. He clutches at his chest as he hears Meredith walk closer. His blood boiling with outrage.
"I didn't plan this, Derek. I didn't mean for this to happen. I would never do this on purpose, Derek." She says softly as she listens to Derek cry. All that she wanted to do now was hug him, but first she had to make this right. "Would you really have wanted me to tell Zola our whole history like that? Without you? Where he could make comments that could affect how Zola sees her hero. Not that he would do that."
"No." Derek chokes as he shakes his head. "Don't defend him." His voice gets mad again.
"I'm not, but when have I ever not tried to see the good in people." She argues with a powerful tone. Derek doesn't respond to that, making Meredith take that as a good sign. "Don't you want to be able to tell our kids the full story? I thought six was too young. That's why I couldn't tell Zola that daddy wouldn't be happy. She knows that you are mad and that you don't like him. I told her that after you left. I also told her to act jealous, Derek."
"What?!" Derek lifts his head in shock.
"When Zola and I got to the barn, I asked her to act like Bailey at Christmas with the cousins if he tried anything." Meredith relaxes a bit as she sees Derek smirk and snort a bit. "I didn't have time at lunch to say anything to her."
After a long silence, Derek sighs. His anger slightly backsliding. Derek could hear Meredith's worry. Her reasoning was making sense. "Did he try to do anything?"
Looking at Derek carefully, Meredith considers her answer. Judging by the slightly less amount of anger in his voice and his muscles looking less tense, she goes ahead and explains."At lunch he touched my shoulder a couple of times and I scooted away. I wanted to run, Derek." She sighs as she bites her lips in contemplation. " Then… Then… At the barn he hugged me…" Derek growls and flexes his hands. "Both Zola and the boys even helped." Meredith quickly adds the last part to hopefully help Derek. "I didn't hug him back and Zola listened, she got his attention away from me when she saw. The boys were making me want to throw up all over him." She says as Derek smirks. "They knew that it wasn't daddy and they could feel how nervous I was."
"They're my boys." Derek says, still looking out the window.
"Yes, they are. They are daddy's boys already." Meredith says softly as her hands rest on her stomach. "I would not have let anything more have happened Derek. Even if the other people weren't there, which there were people there, I wouldn't let him do anything. Because I do understand, Derek. Besides, I love my stupid brain man too much." She smiles at him as he wipes his eyes. "Derek, I even called Cristina for help."
"Should have called me."
"What, so you could beat him up?" Meredith asks with such incredulity.
"No. I could have helped." He argues.
"Derek, I was scared. I didn't even call her until after he left the restaurant." Derek sighs as he covers his face with his hands. He sobs silently as Meredith watches. "Even though I didn't call, Derek. You still helped…"
"What, how?!"
"You texted me. Gave me a moment free from worry. I have your picture as my screensaver, I looked at it a lot. Oh and bragging about you to him helped a lot."
"You bragged about me?" Derek turns his head towards her now. But not quite looking at her. His voice cracking a bit as his anger simmers slightly.
"Yeah… Zola did also." Meredith smirks.
"That's good."
"Of course you would like that." Meredith rolls her eyes.
"I… I still… I still can't look at you…" He sounds wounded as he focuses his gaze onto her, but immediately turns away again.
"Why?" Meredith asks as she walks closer.
"I…" He shakes his head and looks up at the ceiling.
"Derek, I felt horrible the .time. All that I wanted was to get back to you. To have you near me. That was what I was feeling just by talking to him." Her voice is choked as she holds back tears. "Remember, he has a fiancée. He really wouldn't do anything especially with Zola around. You don't have anything to worry about. I am not Addison. I do not like Finn." She says as Derek moans at hearing his name. "Derek, you're the love of my life. No one else." She whispers as Derek tries to look at her again. He groans as images of her in Finn's shirt flash before his eyes just like it did each time he tried to look at her.
"Meredith." Is all he can muster as more tears fall. She was still not understanding something. Derek ran through her explanation over and over in his head. She made sense, but still something was missing. As he tried to figure out how to explain his feelings, Derek feels his wife's small hands pulling on his arm.
"Sit, Derek." She commands as she pushes him onto the edge of the bed. Meredith sits next to him and places her hands on his cheeks. She pulls his face so that he is facing her. Derek closes his eyes as unwanted images flash before him. "Oh, Der." She hums as he trembles in her hands. "Talk to me because I am so very sorry to have done this."
After a long period of thought, Derek sighs. "I know." He mutters.
"Good." Meredith smiles. "Now, tell me why you can't look at me. You looked at me more after the clinical trial." She watches him as his face grows white and shakes his head. "Tell me Derek."
"Mer…" He breathes in and when he speaks again, Meredith can hear the anger in his voice once more. "I can't look because every time that I do… I see you in his shirt. She gasps in understanding. Remembering his look that night when he saw her at Finn's. Derek's jaw was tense as he clenched his teeth as he tells her.
"Derek. Look at me." She strokes his stubble calmly.
"No…" He yells.
"Yes." She says sternly. Derek sighs and let's his eyes peel open. "Hey you." Meredith smirks with a wet smile as Derek opens his eyes. "Don't close them. You're okay." She scoots closer to him as he squirms. "I understand, Derek. But, can you explain why that bothers you? We weren't together back then."
Derek sighs and begins to think. "Because that night that I saw you… I was crushed… It hurt me more than Addison and Mark. I know we weren't together. But, somehow it felt like you cheated on me."
"Derek, you were with Addison." Meredith mentions with caution. Her eyebrows raising.
"I know… Damn it… I know. But, still it felt like… Don't kill me for this… But, that night it felt like he was touching what was mine… That his hands…ugh." Derek growls in anger as heat fills his chest. Gritting his teeth as his eyes flashed with anger. Meredith just hushes him, looking at him to keep going. "That he got to see things that only I should be seeing. Now today, I know that you are sorry… But it felt like you were asking for it… Like giving him permission to do that again. It felt like you were cheating again, like Mark and Addison only worse. Like…if Zola wasn't there…something would have happened."
Meredith looks at him stunned. Her heart shattered. He thinks she cheated on him. "Derek…" Her eyes fill with tears. "I would never cheat on you." She says as she begins to cry.
"I know, Mer. A big part of me knows that. But the other part…" He shakes his head.
"Derek, I need you to listen. Okay?" Thinking carefully, Meredith contemplates her words, tears streaming down her cheeks. "Alright, here it goes. Derek, that night you saw me… Did I ever tell you what happened?"
"No." He rubs his tired eyes, dragging his hand down his face.
"Well then, hear it goes. Earlier that day, Finn did ask me on a date that night. At first, I didn't want to because I was celibate. I was so nervous, I didn't know if I really wanted to date someone who wasn't you." Derek smirks at recalling her knitting and his heart softens at her words. "Well, then I decided to give it a try, so I went back to his office to tell him. I figured, why not? You were with Addison. He said okay but then told me that we would have to wait until another night since he had an errand. I told him that I run errands. So… We went." Meredith continues. Derek is looking at her easier now. "Turns out his errand was birthing a pony. So, we did that and I got all this goop on me from the birth. It was gross." Meredith giggles, mending Derek's heart a little. "Then, we were talking after about what to do next and he gave me two choices. One, I could shower while he made dinner and he would give me a shirt. The other was that I just go home."
"But, Mer, that was just to lure you to…" Derek snapped.
"No, Derek. I flat out told him. I told him that I wasn't having sex with him. He promised that he would stay downstairs and make dinner. He kept his promise." Meredith smiles.
"But, that was only one date. You had others." Derek sneered.
"We did. But, Derek." She moves her hands to rub his chest. We never had sex. Kissed, yes, but he has never seen me naked." Meredith runs her hands along his strong chest. Derek was looking at her now, eyes glistening with understanding.
"You never slept with him?" His voice quivered in shock.
"No, Derek." Meredith smiles and shakes her head. Derek feels a weight lift off of his shoulders at her words. "I felt horrible today. Every time he looked at me I wanted to puke and it wasn't because of morning sickness. Derek, all those years ago, he was filling a void. He's a good guy but, he wasn't you. Looking back, I really did not want to sleep with him. Derek, he is not you. You are the one that I always wanted. I love you." She adds emphasis on the last word as she plays with his curls.
"Meredith." He murmurs happily as more tears fall from his eyes and he pulls her into a hug.
"I am so sorry, Derek. I never meant for it to seem like cheating. I never knew you felt that way when you brought in Doc and saw me. I… I knew you would be pissed today, but I didn't think in that way." She adds hesitantly.
"I know, Mer and I know I was with Addison so I had no right having those feelings. I just didn't realize the feelings at that time." He adds, his gaze softening and his hands go upon her waist.
"Realize what?"
"That I was still in love with you. Damn, it killed me to see you with anyone." Derek lamented.
"I know… I know, it killed me to try to be with someone else." She consoles as she rests her forehead on his. "But, we're together now. Right? You don't hate me?"
Derek pulls away in shock. "Mer, I could never hate you." He smiles.
"Hmm, you were pretty close twenty minutes ago." Meredith adds with hesitation.
"That was before I knew the whole story. I could never hate you." He brushes her blonde locks.
"Good! I love you, Derek. It's always been you." She stares into his deep blue eyes that looked much brighter, much happier. Her hand massages his chest in soothing circles.
"I love you too." Derek murmurs as his lips drift towards her's and his hands move up her sides. Their lips touch making fire erupt between them.
"Derek." Meredith moans in relief as he kisses her hard. Cupping her cheeks and she relishes in the feeling of his tongue deep in her mouth. His kisses are demanding as if proving that she is his.
His hands trace over her curves, rubbing her thighs and he rakes his fingers in her hair. "Hmm, wait…" He stops suddenly. Meredith looks up confused from where she was playing with his buttons. "I umm… Before we have make up sex… I wanted to talk about last night and this morning."
"Derek… Do we have to? I'm not mad about that anymore." Meredith grips his shirt and tries to bring his lips back to her. "Hmm." She moans as she nips at his jaw while tickling his stubble.
"Yes, Mer. That was actually my plan for tonight. I did some thinking." He inwardly berates himself as Meredith's motions stir the desire deep within him.
"You did?" Meredith grumbles flatly. He had gotten her all worked up with his hot and hungry kisses.
"Yes." He smirks at the scowl on her face. "I think I figured it out."
"What?"
"Why I even dated her when I clearly wanted you."
"Oh, why you couldn't wait." Meredith grumbles as the desire for him curls inside of her more.
"Yeah…" Derek swallows hard. "I wasn't myself, Mer. That's what I figured out. I hadn't been myself in a long time." Meredith drops her hands to her lap and looks at Derek who was looking nervously at the ground. She turns more towards him now to give her full attention.
"What do you mean, Derek?" She places her hand on his back. Rubbing slow, smooth circles for comfort.
He breathes in and out. His eyes close as he thinks. "When I left New York, I was already gone. I wasn't me."
"I know that, Derek."
"Shhh… Shhh…" He pauses. "I'm going somewhere. Now, when I got to Seattle, I met a gorgeous girl at a bar." He smirks making her roll her eyes. "As soon as I talked to you, I forgot all of my pain, all of my sadness. Remember, it was like I was drowning and you saved me."
"I remember." Meredith coos gently.
"I still feel that way." He leans forward to peck her lips. Watching her mouth turn upwards into a grin. "So… I felt alive for the first time in months with you until… Addison came." He sighs. "When she came, I realized that I felt like I had screwed up with her, making her cheat. I don't know why, but I felt like I needed to fix it with her. Because it was my fault."
"No, Derek. It wasn't your fault." Meredith snaps. "How the heck could it have been your fault?!"
"Because I wasn't around, Meredith. I never went home. I stayed late, I avoided Addison. I made up whatever damn excuse I could for six months before she slept with Mark. Before that I would make myself do one thing with her and then get out of the others. Then, there would be times that I would purposely invite Mark or Amy over to get out of spending it with Addison." Derek yells. "So, when she came, I felt like I had to fix what I had done."
"Derek, you did not put Mark and Addison in the same room and tell them to sleep together. It was NOT your fault! You went back to her because you're you, Der." Meredith points out firmly. Eyes filled with determination.
"No… I… Felt like I failed with her because I pushed her away."
"You didn't, Derek. It happens." Meredith argues, her voice raising an octave.
"I felt like I needed to make things right." Derek groans.
"I know, Der. I understand." Meredith places her fingers on his cheek and strokes it gently. "You just were never in love with her.
"You do… I thought I did too… But…" He racks his brain trying to come up with the words. "As I was back with her, I began hating myself. Hating that I made a mess of things. With her, with you, with Mark."
"What do you mean with me?" Meredith anxiously wonders.
"I felt helpless and angry, Meredith. By feeling that way, I was hating myself and I hated myself the most when I saw how hurt you were. It killed me, Mer. I couldn't sleep, I was irritated all the time. Especially when I saw you with other guys. I felt hopeless." Derek argues. His eyes filling with tears. "I really hurt you. To the point that you were terrified of letting me love you."
"Oh, Derek." Meredith murmurs. "It wasn't just your doing."
"I know… I'm trying to tell myself that. I still helped!" He snaps more to himself.
"Oh… Der…" She hums. "How did you figure this out?"
Derek blushes a deep shade of red. "Oh… I…" He bites his lip. He breathes in and out, his breath shaky.
"Derek?" Meredith questions.
"I may have… GonetoDrWyattfortwohours…" He mumbles.
"What?" Meredith scrunches her nose. Not hearing him clearly.
"I went to Dr. Wyatt for two hours." Derek says with confidence despite tears falling from his eyes.
"You what?!" Meredith gasps. Sitting back to look at her husband in shock.
"I…um… I'm getting all whole and healed…" He smirks and raises his eyebrows.
"Derek!" Meredith giggles and throws her arms around his neck. Hugging him so tight as he wraps his arms around her. "I'm so proud of you! How did you do that in two hours?!"
"It's a wonder what psych can do when you don't stare at the fish tank for weeks." Derek smirks. "Those were Wyatt's words." He tickles Meredith.
"Hey!" She squirms, trying to get away.
"No, Mer, I just went in there… I was tired of just saying that I dated Rose because I was an idiot." He pulls back. "I hate when you're mad at me and I… I knew that whole period bothered you because it bothered me as well." He pauses to think. "I asked Wyatt to help me. She told me to just talk. Start from before I met you and go from there. She interjected in some places to ask me to name the feelings. That was kind of annoying." He smirks making Meredith giggle as she smiles in adoration. " So, I'm guessing that with Rose I felt so hopeless about us and our relationship that I just grabbed whoever would not make me feel that way. I was too far gone to help you or me. It just added to the list of my failings and in turn hurt you more. He grabs one of her hands and rubs her belly with the other. "I…" Derek starts and stops immediately. His head immediately looking at the ground. Meredith feels teardrops hit the hand that Derek was holding. "I didn't know how to help you because you were just as hurt as I was. So I thought it was easier to just end it. But in turn, I just hurt you more…" He says with a cracking voice as he cries silently.
"You dated Rose because you were tired of hurting. Because you were tired of hurting the people you really care about." Meredith pulls his hand up to kiss his trembling fingers.
After a while, Derek nods. "I am so sorry, Meredith." He says sincerely.
"Oh, Derek!" Meredith moves to engulf him in a big hug. She moves her arms under his and up to lay his head on the crook of her neck. Her fingers lightly play with his hair as she rocks him. "It's okay, Derek." She hums. "I am so proud of you, Derek. You went to therapy for me."
"I wanted to figure crap out." Derek mutters.
"Thank you. I love you so much. So, so much!" Meredith kisses his forehead. "Thank you for doing that for me. For us."
"Of course, Mer." He smiles as he cuddles into her neck. Derek rubs her back.
"All better?" Meredith says as she pulls away from their tight hug a few silent minutes later. She lifts him up so that she can look into his eyes. Her heart is overflowing with gratitude for her husband. He had made a conscious effort to fix an ongoing issue that had been on the back burner for years.
"Yeah." Derek smiles as loose tears fall down his cheeks. "I feel better."
"Hmm… Good." Meredith coos as she cups his cheeks. She stares into his eyes before letting her eyes watch his lips. They had fought and let old emotions out and now it was time to reconnect. She was desperate for her husband and judging by the tent in Derek's jeans he was just as desperate for her. Any further discussion could wait. "I need you." She moans as she kisses him hard.
"Oh!" Derek hums when they pull back. "I need you too, Meredith. So bad." He cups her cheeks and kisses her hard, pushing her back against the bed. His fingers gripping her curls. "I need to show you how much I love you." He moves his hot lips to her ear lobe, panting hard. Maneuvering his hips to hover over her. I need to show the world and stupid vets that you're mine." He whispers with a wild, possessive tone that makes Meredith practically come right there.
"Yes, Derek!" Meredith screams as she clutches his shoulders in anticipation. Goosebumps all over her skin from his touch and the hungry look in his eyes. He hovers over her and looks deep into her eyes.
One hand caresses her body while the other holds her cheek. He moves lower to murmur into her ear. "I want you to scream for me, Mer. Scream only my name loud so that all of Seattle can hear."
"Oh!" Meredith arches up into his chest.
"Show them that your mine." Derek growls with possession as he thrusts over her. Their clothes causing an erotic friction between them. Meredith's heart was racing with desire. Possessive Derek was hot and she knew that she was in for an amazing night as he sucks on her neck. She gasps as she suddenly feels Derek's teeth biting and pulling at her skin.
"Derek!" She moans.
"Louder, Mer. I wanna hear you scream." Derek kisses harder. "Clothes off." He fumbles with her sweater in haste. Hearing a slight rip as he tugs too hard. "Sorry…" He says as he rips it over her head, barely letting his lips leave her skin as the sweater rips a bit more.
"Don't care. It's hot." Meredith moans as she reaches for Derek's shirt. She lets a couple buttons rip before getting his shirt off. Meredith lifts her legs around Derek's waist. Thankful that her bump isn't too big yet. She scrapes her nails down his chest and then around his stomach to his lower back.
"Meredith." Derek moans huskily as his hungry mouth roams her upper chest.
"Pants off, Derek." She musters as her hands move to his jean clad ass.
"Hmm, you too." He says as his hands move all over her body. Heat emitting from each caress, leaving a white hot trail in its wake.
"Derek!" Meredith moans as he cups her vagina through her jeans.
"Meredith." He coos as he licks his lips. Hovering over her just enough that his chest brushes her stomach. Her lacy, red bra emphasizing her heaving, swollen breasts. "You're going to scream loud for me, right?" Derek hums deeply.
"Yes! Yes!" Meredith gasps at the sound of him voice.
Derek starts caressing her covered clit with the palm of his hand now. "Hmm, yes, what, Meredith?"
"Yes, Derek! Derek, yes!" She shouts.
"That's my Meredith." He coos and adds a little more pressure to his ministrations.
"Derek!" He watches with a proud smirk as Meredith screams and closes her eyes in bliss.
"Jeans off, Meredith." He coos and unbuttons her pants with one hand as the other continues rubbing her clit in smooth circles. Pausing to push off her pants. His gaze drifts to the glistening wetness already forming against her red panties. Licking his lips, he slowly pulls down her panties and tosses them to the side.
"Derek!" Meredith whimpers as she lifts her hips up to him. He feels his cock quiver in need as he looks from her folds to her wriggling on the bed, waiting for him.
"Yes!" He hums as he struggles to get his pants off along with his boxers. "Oh… Oh…" He moans as he feels his erection spring forward. "Mer…" Derek groans, he knows that he is about to come. But, he wants to be inside of her when he does. Quickly bracing himself over Meredith he pushes into her hard forgetting that his jeans and boxers weren't totally off yet. "Oh!"
"Derek!" Meredith shouts as she feels her walls expand to fit his huge, swollen cock.
"Louder, Meredith." Derek commands as his boxers and jeans create an additional sensation against her naked thighs as he thrusts in once more.
"DEREK!" She yells as the combination enthralls her. Her nails digging into the skin of his back. She keeps them deep in his skin as she rakes them upwards, leaving red scratch marks along his back.
"Ah!" Derek roars and pulls out just a little. So the tip of his cock rested right in her entryway. "My Meredith!" He shouts as he pushes back inside.
"Yes, Derek!" Meredith screams as she scratches at his shoulders. He lets out a satisfying roar each time her tight walls squeeze him as he continues that pattern. "Derek! Derek!" Meredith screams as he thrusts. He was making her feel amazing, making her grip tightly to him. She feels him quiver inside of her. As soon as he gives one last, hard thrust, making her slide up the bed, he spills into her. His body arches back placing more strain on his arms. Meredith screams his name loud as this makes her orgasm crash around them. Her hips moving up and legs tightening around his waist. "Derek! Oh, Derek!" She hugs him and lifts her chest so that she is hanging onto him. He holds onto her with one arm, bowing his head to kiss along her jaw.
"Hmm… Yeah…" Derek hums as he has a very satisfied smirk on his lips as he watches her. They are both soaked in sweat. He keeps his dick buried deep inside of her as their chests heave. Derek collapses on top of her, minimally obstructed by her stomach. "I love you." His hot breath reaches her ear. Meredith closes her eyes as tingles run up and down her spine. She gives a satisfied hum as her legs move up to rub his thigh.
"I love you, too." She gently runs her hands up and down his neck. Leaning forward to kiss him. "My turn?" Meredith asks softly as she snakes her hand down to his balls. Squeezing gently, making him grow inside of her.
"Nope… I need you to scream more… I need to label what's mine. Since you didn't seem to get the idea of. Not. Talking. To. Vets." Derek murmurs as he bites the skin below her collarbone after each word. She gasps loudly with each nip.
"Hmm… I do need to be punished." Meredith moans as her hands snake into his curls. Derek looks up at her. Their eyes meeting, sparks shooting between them. He slides up so that his lips are right over her's.
He pushes off his jeans and boxers. Kicking them to the side as he holds her legs around his waist. "Mine." He hums as he bends to kiss her, biting her lip with a growl.
"Yours." Meredith moans huskily. Derek shivers at her tone.
"Your beautiful eyes. Your cute nose." He coos, kissing each.
"Yours." Meredith murmurs.
"Your sexy neck. Perfect for kissing." Derek kisses down her carotid.
"Derek!" She shouts as he kisses the sensitive skin. Her eyes go back and she arches upward.
"Yes… All mine. Louder, Mer…" He bites and sucks her neck, leaving a large hickey.
"DEREK, DEREK!" She screams so loud that it reverberates through the trailer. He feels her get wetter and tighter. Her orgasm building.
"Don't come until I tell you, Meredith." He commands, sucking on her neck once more. Derek removes her hands from pulling his curls and places them over her head. With one hand, he unsnaps her maternity bra, letting her huge breasts fall free. Just waiting for his mouth. Licking his lips as if he were about to earn a huge treat, he looks into her eyes. "Do not come until I tell you." His voice is deep and full of heated desire. "No touching." He looks up at where his hands were holding hers. "If you don't scream my name, your punishment will be that I pull out." He smirks as he kisses her chin and lips.
"Yes, Derek. Please, fuck me, Derek. I want you hard." Begs Meredith as she squirms in anticipation.
"Oh, ho, I will." He gurgles as he lowers his mouth to the valley of her breasts. Derek stays there for a moment, letting his hot tongue lap at her skin. "Mine! Mine!" He coos as she writhes beneath him, arms held in place by his hand.
"DEREK! Yes, DEREK!" She chants as he bites the skin of her breasts. Her walls begin to tighten around him.
"That's it, Mer…" Derek coos as his mouth finds her nipple. Sucking on the pink nub until it was hard. Sending shockwaves through her body.
"Derek! Derek! Derek!" She screams arching her body up to him. Her walls squeezing him. "I'm so close, Derek!"
"Hmm… Not yet!" Derek orders, pulling his cock halfway out of her. Meredith whines as her thighs try to pull him back. He bites her nipples making her gasp and releases one of his hands to cup one mound, massaging while his tongue swirls the opposite nipple. "Mine, mine." He chants as he kisses up and down the goosebumps that lace the silken skin on her breasts.
"Derek! I need you! Please!" Meredith moans as she grips at the sheets, unable to move her arms as Derek holds them over her head. Her insides are burning with fire as Derek slides his penis farther into her wetness.
Derek chuckles as she squirms against him. Tightening her legs around his waist. He smirks at the feeling of her heels digging into his back. "Not yet." He coos and Meredith moans as his lips move to kiss in concentric circles on her stomach. She whines as his tongue trails along her skin. He was prolonging her orgasm, her pleasure and she was sure she was going to explode.
"Der… De… Derek!" She closes her eyes and arches upwards with a blissful smile on her face. "Oh!" Meredith moans as Derek nips along her skin.
"Hi, boys…" Derek pauses to kiss Meredith's stomach twice. "Mine, mine." He coos again and kisses the swollen skin. "Hmm, you're doing good, Mer. Now, if you don't scream, I will take longer to go back inside." He chuckles at Meredith's shocked expression as he pulls out. Moving lower, Derek trails his lips down her hips and thighs, marking what was his with his words and bite marks. Meredith smiles in bliss as her heart races and breathing quickens.
"Der!" She hums in bliss as his tongue trickles down her legs.
"Hmm!" Derek smiles as he hums and moves to hover right over Meredith. "All mine…" He musters sexily as he kisses her lips. Plunging his tongue deep inside. He finally releases Meredith's hands and she immediately wraps them around his neck and through his curls. Playing with the dark curls that were sweat soaked.
"All yours, Derek." Meredith guides his cheeks so that his lips were a breath away from her's and she was staring into the depths of his blue eyes. She sits up a bit before whispering. "Always and forever." Meredith kisses him deeply making invisible electricity spark between them.
"Mer." He smiles in between kisses. His hands roam her sides, causing trails of fire along her skin. The desire for each other building tenfold. He trails his rough fingertips along her arms, up to her neck. Pausing to kiss her neck and cheeks. His fingers move along her chest and stomach, pausing to play with her nipples and roll her breasts in his hands. He moves his hot gaze to follow his hands path as he rubs every inch of skin.
"Derek!" Meredith whines as she writhes beneath him. Her head goes back and she closes her eyes. Derek's breathing gets faster as he sees her beyond ready for him.
"Are you close, my Mer?" His voice is dark with lust.
"Oh, yes!" She cries. "DEREK!" She shouts remembering what he told her.
"MMM… Okay!" Derek coos and rubs his hands up and down her slim body. He keeps his gaze on Meredith's closed eyes and slightly opened mouth as he moves lower. Meredith can feel his hot breath fanning her clit and her stomach bubbles
.
"My Der." She hums softly as Derek lifts her legs to get a clearer look at her folds. He feels his cock twitch and he shudders with pleasure. "OHHH! YES! YES! YES!" She shouts as Derek's tongue slowly dips into her wetness. "DEREK!"
"Come… Mer… Let me taste you." He hums and with one swipe of his tongue, Meredith crashes around him.
"Oh!" She screams. "Derek! Derek! DEREK!" Meredith chants as her hips move up and down as she spills into him. The possessive growls coming from Derek egging her on more. He laps his tongue in and out, drinking her juices.
"Meredith." He coos as he pulls his tongue out and moves to hover over her with a small smirk. "You are so damn sexy!" Derek mutters before he kisses her. Her hands twisting in his curls. Nail raking along his scalp.
"Yes!" She gasps as Derek pushes his dick inside of her tight walls suddenly with a satisfied grunt. Meredith grips Derek's shoulders as he rocks inside of her. Her legs wrapped securely around his waist as he moves to sit on his knees. Meredith smiles up at him in a trance as he strokes her legs lovingly. He has a dirty smirk as he rubs her skin and looks down at her. Her eyes are still cloudy from her other orgasm.
"You still need to finish for me, don't you?" Derek licks his lips.
"Mm!" Is all Meredith can muster as she squirms.
"I will make you come for me, Mer. You are so tight around me. Do you feel how hard you make me?" Derek's voice is deep and husky as he kneels above her.
"Y…ye…" Meredith moans as she feels her orgasm right on the edge. She grips his ass, squeezing tight. Her nails scraping on the skin.
"Yes, what?" He smirks and starts to pull out.
"Derek!" She gasps breathlessly.
"Hmm… better." Derek hums and lowers to her ear. "Do you want hard?" He sucks on her neck.
"Mm!" She nods with a huge smile and runs her hands along his chest.
Derek hums as he strokes her cheek and kisses her hard. Making Meredith move her hands to his ass and pushes it to make him start moving. "Okay." He moans as he sits up. Moving one leg over his shoulder and the other around his waist, Derek thrusts into her core hard.
"DEREK!" She shouts as she watches him give one hard thrust at a time. "DEREK!"
"Yes!" He grunts as he moves.
"Derek! Derek!" She chants as his next hard thrust makes her move up the bed. Meredith's eyes close as she grips his ass. Derek moves faster, but still pushing into her hard. Each time he thrusts, Meredith moves up and down on the cool, white sheets. Her hair splayed across the bed. Derek watches in awe at her gorgeous body responding to him. She lifts her hips in time to his movements. Gasping for breath as he pushes in and out.
"Ah!" He roars suddenly as he comes hard.
"Derek!" Meredith yells as she instantly squeezes her walls around him, coming hard. Her mind going blank and stars flashing before her eyes. Derek collapses with a proud smirk on top of her. He brushes her cheek sweetly with his fingertips as she pants. Chest heaving against his, mouth open. Her hands shake as one goes to his neck and the other his cheek as she looks at him with awe. Derek smiles at her as he bends to kiss her forehead all over and then all over her face. Making her sweet giggle echo in the room. "I love you." She murmurs when she finally captures his cheeks and looks into his eyes.
"I love you too, Meredith." He coos as he gives her a soft kiss. Meredith quickly deepens it as they begin kissing with an intense fervor.
"Oh…" She moans as she pushes his chest to roll over. Derek, now on the bottom, looks up at her and runs his hands through her hair as she kisses him. Her fingers resting on his cheek.
"Hmm…" He moans as he pushes them so that they roll over.
"Der!" Meredith giggles as he kisses her repeatedly on the nose. "Roll over…" She laughs again and soon she's on top.
"Hey!" He laughs and hugs her to him, her chest splayed against his. Derek's hands travel up her spine and cradles her head. He leans up to kiss her while brushing her messy locks. Her hands mimic his in his hair. He shivers at the light touch of her nimble fingers traveling from his hair down to his cheeks. She brushes his stubble before tracing a line down his neck and over his strong shoulders. Her hands are massaging his shoulder blades next when Derek flips them over as they continue to kiss. Their naked bodies remain entwined as they roll back and forth. Alternating positions while kissing. Hands desperately seeking the electric force of the others touch.
"Oh! That was incredible." Exclaims Meredith after several rounds of rolling paired with a make out session. She finally collapses against the bed. Derek slipping to the side, but instinctively pulls her into a secure hold in his arms. He rests his hand on where the babies lay.
"Mm hmm." He smirks, his eyes roaming her naked body.
"Crap!" Meredith gasps as Derek moves to nuzzle her cheek and kiss her shoulder. "I forgot… I um… I went to our doctors appointment alone… I'm sorry." She bites her swollen lips.
"I know, Mer. I found out when I went up to meet you. It's okay." Derek smiles, going back to nuzzling in her neck. She smelt purely of lavender and Derek was intoxicated.
"Oh… I'm sorry. I was…"
"Mad?" Derek cuts her off. "It's okay, I understand. I wasn't happy at first, but Addison yelled at me."
"Good." Meredith giggles and turns towards him. A beautiful smile gracing her face as she looks at him.
"How's your blood pressure?" Derek asks as his hands drift to her stomach.
Meredith looks down at where his hands were rubbing her bump. She places her hands over his. "Much better now. It… It was a little high again when I went looking for you."
Derek's eyes bulge. "Wh-wh-wh what?!" He gasps. "Meredith."
"It's okay, Derek. We will ask Arizona to check tomorrow.
"I'm gonna check now." Derek gasps as he throws off the blankets and hurries over to the small storage closet.
"Derek." Meredith whines and sits up. She holds the sheet over her naked body. "I'm okay. I don't have any light headedness or dizziness." Her eyes scan his naked body on full display. Smirking at the scratch marks she left on his back.
"Mo-Mo twins, Mer. I'm not risking it." He argues as he pulls out his blood pressure monitor that he kept for emergencies. Huffing, he plops back on the bed. Scooting close to his wife.
"Fine." Meredith grumbles playfully as he wraps the green cuff around her arm.
"Thanks." He coos as his thumb caresses her chin. Derek stares into her eyes as the machine beeps.
"Ow." She groans as it squeezes her arm.
"It's just a second." Derek hums and bends to kiss her arm above the cuff. "Ahh. All better." He smiles when the monitor beeps. Derek feels a rush of relief when he notices the numbers.
"Told you, I'm better now." Meredith smiles and looks at her pressure.
"Just being safe." Derek replies as he takes the machine and places it on the table.
"I know, Der. Thank you." She smiles while taking in his blistering blue eyes.
"Welcome." He cups her cheek and kisses her lips. "Hi Mason, hi, Mark." Derek moves so that his lips are hovering over Meredith's stomach. Meredith smiles as she watches him rub her belly and she strokes his hair. "I'm so glad you are okay. I'm sorry mama and daddy fought today."
"Derek!" Meredith gasps.
"Mer, I want to do this. I need to with Zo and Bails and Lexie."
"Okay, I also need to."
"Good." Derek nods. "Now, boys. Mama and I still love each other. You two don't worry so that mama's blood pressure stays fine. We don't want anything to happen to you or to mama." Derek kisses her stomach twice. "I love you boys."
"Mama loves you also." Meredith adds as she brushes Derek's hair.
"Thanks for protecting your mama today." Derek smirks up at Meredith.
"Derek!" She swats at his shoulder lightly.
"I'm just saying…" He shrugs. "Now… Do you know what keeps blood pressure low?" Derek gives a husky laugh as he moves to lay closer to Meredith.
"Hmm, no, what does?" Meredith smirks while playing along with Derek's teasing.
"Going for a ride." Derek laughs and places his hands on her waist.
"Hmm… I see then… Take me for a ride, Derek!" She giggles as he instantly pulls her to straddle his waist.
MDMDMDMDMDMDMDMDMDMDMDMDMDMDMDMDMDMDMDMDMDMDMDMDMDMDMD
The next morning, Derek wakes up with his wife in his arms. Snuggled into his chest. He smiles softly as he bends down to kiss her head. All of his anger and fear was completely gone. After Meredith explained the truth about that one night, he felt so much better. He quickly shakes his head when he realizes that this knowledge makes him feel worse about calling Meredith a whore. Derek stops that thought quick since, according to Dr. Wyatt, blaming himself will lead to those hopeless feelings. As he sees the clock, he sighs. "Meredith." He whispers, stroking up and down her arm.
"Mmmphh…" She groans and hides into Derek's chest. "Notgettingup." Derek laughs as she turns her face so that she buries her nose between the rumpled sheets and his naked chest.
"You can't say that, Mer. We work at ten and its six now." Derek laughs, kissing her face all over until she squirms and giggles.
"Derek!" She squeals as her arms move to hug him.
"Good morning, beautiful." He coos as he rocks her in his arms.
"Seriously?!" Meredith looks up at him in shock. Her green eyes sparkling and voice hoarse from the amount of loud screaming that was done the night before.
"It's true. You're beautiful. Gorgeous, sexy…" Derek hums as his hand finds her cheek and he lowers his lips to kiss her.
"Derek." She blushes.
"I'm not lying. Come here, you." Derek pulls her out so that he is lying on his back and Meredith lays on his chest. Her arms wrapped around him with her stomach separating them somewhat. The blanket falls lower as Derek brushes his hands down her bare back. "We have to talk to the kids. They were acting up with me in the morning."
"Ugh, with me too." Meredith grumbles. "I'm sorry for leaving you with that."
"It's okay, Mer. We will talk with them and hopefully they understand." Derek kisses her lips in reassurance.
"What are you…we…going to tell them?" Meredith questioned.
Derek closes his eyes and let's out a shaky breath. "I don't know if I want to tell them that I was married before, yet. Especially since Addison is our main O.B, but we can at least explain who R… We saw at dinner the other night."
"Yeah… I like that. It will help them get the way we were yesterday." Meredith nods after considering his plan. "Do you think Bailey is old enough?"
"He's almost five, Mer. He is also very smart, he knows more than we think." Derek replies. Meredith agrees before Derek smirks and sits both of them up in bed. He sits Meredith up in bed and kneels on the ground. "Good morning, boys." He coos as he kisses and rubs Meredith's stomach. "I love you and can't wait to see you when we check in with Auntie Arizona." Derek talks in a cutesy baby voice. Looking up at Meredith, "do you feel okay?" He asks.
"Yes, Derek." She gives confidently before brushing her fingers in his hair.
"Mm, good boys." He bends to kiss her stomach over and over. "Come on, let's go see our other babies." Derek stands and holds out his hand. "I'll feed you at home, there's no food here." He laughs as they throw on their clothes from the night before.
"Okay…crap!" Meredith blushes. "Cristina and April are gonna know that we had hot make up sex." She looks at her sweater. "It's ripped good!" Meredith shows her sweater that was torn right at the seam where the neck and arm meet.
"Hmm, not sorry." Derek gives her a dirty smile as he shows off his shirt that had three buttons missing.
"Neither am I." Meredith gasps as she notices. Her tongue licking her lips. Derek walks over to kiss her before they continue to get ready. Meredith wraps her arms around him from behind as he brushes his teeth with the toothbrush that they always kept there for spontaneous date nights. Her arms playing underneath the lining of his jeans. Derek leaning back into her warm embrace as she rests her head on his back. As they walk out the door, Meredith stops him. Wrapping her arms around his waist and looking deep into his eyes. "You know I love you, right?" She softly asks as her hands rub his back. Derek nods slow and sure as he grins. "It has always been you. No one else." She says with confidence.
"I know. It's always been you and always will." Derek adds as he bends to kiss her. They pull back after a heated moment of fierce kissing. Meredith leading him to his car. Both agree to stop and get Meredith's car after work. Derek drives the short distance to the dream house with Meredith's hand in his.
"Mama! Daddy!" Zola screams when she sees her parents walk inside.
"Daddy! Mama! You're home!" Bailey cheers as he runs up to them. He slams into Derek and Zola runs to Meredith.
"I told you that we'd be back!" Meredith gushes as she hugs her daughter.
"Dada! Dada!" Lexie comes running out of her room with nothing covering her.
"Lexie!" Derek laughs, looking at Meredith's shocked face. "Why are you naked?"
"No, no Tina!" Lexie babbles as Derek picks her up with Bailey.
"Apparently she doesn't like when I change diapers." Cristina says as she walks out with April.
"Or me." April sighs. Their hair is a mess and April's cheeks were a red, splotchy color.
"Seriously?!" Meredith asks.
"Seriously, Mer. She ran around the room for the past… Thirty minutes after we took her diaper off." Cristina says while checking the time.
"Did you have her on the changing table?" Derek cautiously questions.
April and Cristina look at each other. "Oh… We figured since she did so good when we put her up there last night, she would be okay if we did it on the floor." Cristina says.
"Okay…" Derek and Meredith share a look.
"Sorry." April mumbles.
"It's okay. It's not a problem. Just a bit funny." Derek nods.
"Yeah." Giggles Meredith as she cuddles closer.
"Mama! You're cuddling with daddy!" Zola gasps as she notices Derek bend to kiss Meredith's hairline since his arms were full.
"So you guys are all better, huh?" Cristina smirks.
"We are." Meredith smirks and looks at her husband.
"I knew you would, Mer." April cheers.
"Thanks guys. Thanks for watching them for us." Meredith adds.
"No problem. Glad we could help. We will let you talk with the kids now." Cristina nods as she sees the kids watching their parents with curiosity.
"Thanks, we'll see you later." Meredith waves as April and Cristina head to the door and grab their purses.
"Let me get something on the naked one and I will meet you on the couch." Derek says as he places Bailey down once they leave.
"I'll get her!" Meredith smiles as she kisses Zola and puts her down. "Come here, Lex!"
"Mama!" She calls as she reaches for Meredith and the two of them walk into Lexie's room. Lexie's dimples mirroring Derek's.
"Did you guys eat breakfast?" Derek looks down at Zola and Bailey standing in front of him.
"No." Bailey says shaking his head before looking at the ground. Zola stays a bit apprehensive as she looks between Bailey and Derek. She had seen more of Derek's anger the night before.
"Okay, I will makes some eggs after we talk. Let's sit on the couch." Derek smiles and gestures to the couch. Zola and Bailey head to the center of the couch with Derek sitting next to Zola. Both kids quiet as they wait. Bailey playing with his pajamas while Zola scoots closer to her brother.
"Here we are. I just went ahead and dressed her." Meredith explains as she comes back with Lexie dressed in a bright blue dress with purple flowers and matching purple leggings. Her hair brushed and in pigtails.
"Thanks, Mer." Derek smiles as she sits next to Bailey.
"Okay guys." Meredith coos as she looks at her older two in their pajamas. Lexie content to be sitting on her lap, fingers in her mouth. "Umm…" She looks at Derek for help as the kids stare at them, very quiet.
"We wanna talk to you guys, okay? Mama and I had a rough day yesterday." Derek jumps in to assist.
"Yeah." Zola whispers not looking at either adult.
Derek sighs and swallows hard. Before he could begin though, Meredith starts talking. "Do you remember when we went out to dinner? We ran into two people?"
"Yeah." Bailey nods as Zola doesn't move.
"Well, those were two people from mine and daddy's past that…" Meredith stops, stuck at where to go next.
"They were from before mama and I dated." Derek helps.
"Oh…" Zola nods.
"Bailey, Zola, yesterday mama was mad because… Crap, this is harder than I thought." Derek stops and rubs his face. His train of thought not going where he wanted.
"Here… Um… Okay, guys. Before daddy and I dated, I dated Mr. Finn. I knew daddy then too, but we weren't together. But, daddy wanted to be with me." She purposely left out the fact that she too wanted to be with Derek. It would have led to them asking why.
"I was very jealous of him. That's why I got mad yesterday and mama had to come get me. I didn't like that you went with him to the barn." Derek explains.
"Daddy, ya not supposed to be jealous." Bailey chastised.
"I know, bud. But, it was really hard for me to find out that mama and your sister were with him. Especially when I didn't know the whole story. Especially since I don't like him." Derek grumbles.
"But, daddy, mama loves you. So you don't worry!" Bailey smiles the smile that melts Derek's heart.
"I know, buddy. Mama helped me." Derek reaches over and ruffles his hair.
"So, daddy was mad because Zola and I went with someone he didn't like." Meredith explains.
"You dated him, mama?" Zola whispers.
"Yes, Zo. A long time ago and it made daddy mad back then also." Meredith reaches to hold Zola's hand. Sensing her daughter's nerves.
"Why didn't ya ask mama out before him?" Zola wonders.
Derek looks at Meredith. Both noticing her question, the one they were trying to avoid. He takes a deep breath. "I'll explain one day, Zo. But I had a big reason." He swallows, looking straight at her. Today was not the day to explain second marriages and divorce.
"Is that why you kept saying lots of other places to go and were talking all shaky, mama?" Zola wonders.
"Yes, Zo. I knew that daddy wouldn't be happy. That's why I asked you to act jealous and I didn't stay close when we got to the barn."
"Oh…" Zola nods. "I… I… Didn't listen… I'm sorry, daddy. I really wanted to see the baby animals so I kept saying "no" to ideas." She shakes and whimpers as she looks at Derek.
"It's okay, love bug. Mama said you did a good job protecting her." Derek hugs her, sighing when Zola relaxes in his arms. "I'm glad you had fun and got to see something cool." He murmurs to soothe her. "You didn't do anything wrong. Neither of you did." Derek reassures with a kiss to Zola's forehead.
"Mama, if he was bad, why did we go with him?" Zola asks after relaxing in Derek's arms. Twisting to look at Meredith.
"He is not bad, Zola. I just do not like him and I don't like remembering seeing mama with him." Derek surprises Meredith by speaking. "He is a good guy." He smiles at Meredith.
"Thank you." Meredith smiles at Derek, whispering for only him to hear. He gives her a small grin back. "Now." Meredith says as she takes a huge, preparing breath. "The other person we saw… Daddy dated one time when we had broken up." Meredith turns to explain. "That means we weren't boyfriend and girlfriend anymore."
"What?!" Both kids gasp. Bailey's eyes grow wide and Zola looks between her parents.
Derek laughs at their response. "It was only for a little bit and mama doesn't like her just like I don't like…that guy." He stops, still unable to say "Finn."
"Why didn't ya like her?" Zola asks Meredith.
Meredith's eyes darken. "Because she got to date daddy." She mutters and Derek reaches over and grabs her hand in comfort. "I was mad because…"
"I didn't have a good reason to date her." Derek explains. "When mama asked me why I did the other night, she was mad because I couldn't tell her."
"Oh…" Both kids say together.
"But… You two are married now. You're prince and Princess. Those people can't bother you no more." Zola giggles as she climbs completely into Derek's lap, hugging him.
"You're right, Zo." Meredith says and grins widely as she watches Derek cuddle with Zola.
"Did you figure out why, daddy? Is that why mama is not mad no more?" Bailey asks. Again, Derek and Meredith share a look as if considering how to answer.
Meredith is the one to answer this time. "He did, Bails. We both had a lot of grown up feelings going on and those feelings made us extra sad and break up. Even though we didn't want to. Daddy dated… Her because of one of those feelings." Meredith explains. Derek smiling at her gratefully as she talks to their kids.
"Mama, you still love daddy?" Zola whispers.
"Of course, Zola. Nothing or no one would or could ever change that." Meredith brushes her braids back.
"You love mama, daddy?" Zola looks up at Derek.
"Definitely, Zola. You're mama is incredible. I could never stop loving her." Derek answers as he stares at Meredith with pride. Their eyes connect and sparks of love and lust shoot between them. Bailey climbs into Meredith's lap while Derek scoots closer with Zola.
"Daddy and I learned how to talk about our feelings back then. That is how we became boyfriend and girlfriend again. Especially me, I had a hard time talking. But, now that I know how, it's so much easier." Meredith explains as Derek pulls her, Bailey and Lexie close.
"I'm glad you guys did." Zola murmurs as Derek hugs all of them. Kissing their heads.
"Me too, ZoZo." Meredith giggles as Derek whispers how much he loves her into her ear.
