Vrskaandrea: I love drunk Sam. I imagine him to be like a big loveable dopey dog! Yeah, Dean wasn't being all that subtle. Caleb will be faced with a small dilemma in the last couple of chapters but he does what needs to be done.

Wolfgirl2013: if you are looking for a good Sam mum fic, check out Unknown Universes by Another Writer Who Loves.

Scootersmom: speaking of happy drunk Sam, have you read my story 'Just Something Dumb'? Its just two little scenarios of drunk Sam annoying sober-ish Dean.

Franki3Winchester: Oh, Deans hiding lots, just nothing as big as a battalion of angels hovering over his daughter. Mainly stuff about the missing 18 months. Im hoping it will all come out in a series of oneshots and side stories. mostly fluff from here on in. A few dramatic moments but hopefully more laughter.

NoilyPrat: Dean could have spelt it out in great big letters and I think Sam would have still missed it! But he will discover the truth before the end of the story.

Blondie 20000: Trust me there is a whole teenage sized tantrum happening in my brain regarding that particular issue, if I happen to get around to writing it. I did realise that Bobby didn't get much of a showing in this later half of the story but I've made up for that with the writing of a oneshot.

CHAPTER 70

Kayla was being demanding. She wanted a drink, she wanted food, she wanted up, she wanted to be put back down again. She wanted the book with the dog on it then cried when she was given the book with the dog on it...

Dean looked exhausted when she finally dropped into the armchair, ignoring the tantrum Kayla was throwing beside her. She had pointed at her cup and said 'ta' then threw the cup when Dean handed it to her. Dean yelled and now Kayla was face down on the floor screaming.

"Do you want..."

"Don't touch her." Dean warned Sam as he went to pick her up.

"But..."

"Leave. Her." Dean said. "She's expressing her frustrations verbally and I'm expressing mine by ignoring her."

Dean closed her eyes and rested her head against the back of the chair.

"You look done in. Why don't you leave Kayla down here with us and go take a nap for an hour or two?" Sam offered.

"No." Dean answered too quickly.

"Dean, you said it yourself, you're not in this alone." Caleb said. "We'll be right down here, won't even leave the house."

"Go on Dean, you can't keep pushing yourself like this. Let us help." Sam added.

Kayla had quietened and was now laying on the ground using her shaggy dog as a pillow and sucking her thumb.

"You know you're right. I'm not in this alone anymore am I?"

Dean stood and stepped carefully over Kayla and headed for the stairs.

"Are you going for a sleep?" Sam asked.

"No I'm going for a bath." Dean said.

"A bath? But it's the middle of the day." Caleb said.

Kayla had noticed her mom leaving the room and sat up.

"Momma?" She said.

Dean walked over and picked the child up. She dumped her on Sams lap, as he was closest.

"Do you have any idea how long it's been since I've been able to bathe or go to the bathroom on my own? So yeah, I'm going to have a bath."

She turned and left the room. Kayla began crying.

"Um, Dean? She's crying!" Sam called.

"You'll be fine!" Dean called back as she climbed over the first gate and headed up the stairs.

Dean sighed as she sunk into the deep tub of warm water and bubbles. She closed her eyes and smiled as every muscle in her body relaxed. He brother was right, she was tired and stressed and tense. And it was time to start trusting the others with Kayla. She listened carefully and could no longer hear Kaylas crying so she slipped deeper into the tub and rested one foot on the edge. Wiggling her ties she looked at the red polish on her nails.

"That's going to have to come off." She said as a pile of bubble slipped from her foot and dropped to the ground.

A knock came on the door.

"Dean?" Sam called through the door.

"What?"

"I think she's thirsty."

"Then give her some water out of the filter jug on the counter."

"Okay. Sorry, go back to relaxing."

The second time Sam knocked she had been drifting off in a doze.

"Dean?"

"Mmmm, yeah?"

"I think Kaylas hungry."

"There's some dry crackers in the pantry. Stay with her!"

"Okay."

The third time she was disturbed she had been making lists of all the things she needed to do between now and the ritual next week.

"What Sam?" She called when he knocked.

"I think Kaylas diaper needs changing."

"So change it! You've done it before."

"Yeah, but, this time she's...stinky."

"The wipes and lotion are on her change table."

"But...it's gross."

"Then tell Caleb he has to do it."

"Why?"

"He knows." Dean smirked as she sunk back into the water.

Two minutes later she heard Caleb thumping up the stairs. He banged on the door.

"Why do I have to change the shitty diaper?" He demanded.

"Is Sam with you?"

"No."

"Because for 335 days I changed every one of her diapers. Let's average that to five a day...that's 1,675 diapers. You owe me."

She heard a mumbled curse and Caleb walk away.

Ten minutes later Dean had grown bored of the bath, it was going cold anyway. She got out and wrapped herself with a large towel. She applied some face cream and made a mental note to see if there was a men's range before looking at her self in the mirror. She fiddled with her hair which she had pulled up into a messy bun at the top of her head.

"Hmmm, that'll have to go."

She added a haircut to her to-do list.

Dean had been making a few trips to the neighbouring town in the weeks leading up to the new moon. This was beginning to worry the others. While it didn't look as though she was planning to flee again, they still stayed alert.

"You ready to go running?" Sam asked one morning.

"Actually, do you mind staying here?" She asked him.

"Why?" He replied, instantly alert.

"I just want to run alone today." She explained. "And, maybe, could you watch Kayla? I'll only be gone an hour or so."

"Are you sure?" Sam asked. "You've never left her before."

"Yeah, I'm sure. I just need some space right now."

"Well then, yeah, sure, I don't mind." Sam said.

"Thanks Sammy."

Dean kissed Kayla and ran out the front door.

There was a large tract of trees that grew behind Bobby's property. Dean would sometimes run through there before. She came to a small clearing and stopped. Making sure she was alone, Dean pulled out her phone and opened the camera. She opened the camera, centred herself in the screen and pressed record.

"Hey baby, it's momma. I don't know when you will see this but right now you have just turned one. I had to go away and for that I'm very sorry. I want you to know I didn't want to leave but I had no choice. Some things can't be fought or beaten. What's done now is done, but you have your dad and he loves you so much, maybe even more than I do. And I know he's going to raise you right and you'll be the most amazing woman, the strongest, fiercest, independent woman there ever was.

"But if for some reason he's not around, I want you to know that you have three of the most amazing people to help you. Your Uncle Sam." Dean smiles. "His capacity for love is as big as he is. Bigger! And all that love will be directed at you. Sam will always be there for you. He is going to guide you through life and just know, he will defend you with his last dying breath. Just do me one thing and see if you can get him to cut his hair?

"Don't piss off grandpa Bobby. He's a crusty old dude but you hold a special place in his heart already. That man would go to the end of the world for you, for any of us. He will always be there if you need help or just to talk. Just maybe stay away from his chilli until you get older.

"And Caleb, well, you are just about the most important person in the world to him. He is a dork and childish and irresponsible but he will give his life to protect you and keep you safe. It doesn't matter where he is in the world, one word and he will drop everything and come running. That's how much you hold his heart.

"I know you are going to be an amazing person. Brave and strong. I love you my moje najmilije, and always remember that even though you can't see me, I am watching over you and every day I will hug you and kiss you. Goodbye my baby."

The household was asleep but something woke Sam. He crept down the stairs and saw a soft light coming from Bobby's study. Peering in the doorway he saw Dean sitting at the desk in front of the laptop. She was leaning back in the chair sipping from a whiskey glass.

"Hey Sammy." Dean said not looking away from the screen.

"Hi. What are you doing up?" Sam asked as he walked in and sat opposite Dean.

"Not much." She placed her glass down and pushed a few keys on the computer before disconnecting her phone and removing a flash drive, slipping it in her pocket.

"Let me guess."'Sam said pointing at the glass. "Whiskey glass, must be tea."

Dean laughed.

"Nope, whiskey, and FYI that was just tea. I just let you think there was booze in it."

"Really? You, Dean Winchester, the drunk, going sober?" Sam couldn't quite believe it.

"I was pregnant Sammy. Ever heard of foetal alcohol syndrome?"

"No."

"Well I have. Poor kids a Winchester, she's going to have a hard enough life with me as a parent, didn't want to add anything else to the mix." Dean said with a shrug. "Couldn't really relax until I had my first scan."

"How did you manage all that? All the checkups and stuff?" Sam asked.

"Planned Parenthood clinics."

"Really?" Sam sounded surprised.

"Yes really!" Dean replied. "There was a really good one near the diner that gave prenatal care and I managed to find a few when I was travelling around."

"Man I wish I'd seen you like that. Waddling around with a great big belly!" Sam said.

"Sorry to disappoint, but I didn't waddle cause I didn't get that big." Dean smirked at her brother.

"Come on! You must have."

"Nope. I only went up one size" Dean said.

"How big was Kayla when she was born?"

"6 pound 1 ounce."

"That's tiny!"

"She was little. I could hold her in one hand. But she was healthy. Birdette and the chicks at the diner made sure I ate properly and was well rested. Then when I left there I tried to make good food choices."

"Well, you did a good job, she's almost perfect." Sam said.

"What do you mean 'almost'?" Dean asked.

"You see there's that little issue where she looks like you." Sam said quite seriously.

"Haha! Bitch!"

"Jerk."

The watch on Deans wrist was one of the few things from her 'before' life that she still wore and now she was looking at it constantly.

"What's wrong?" Sam asked.

"I have an appointment in an hour but Kyla went down for her nap later than usual and now she's still asleep and I have to leave."

"How about you leave her here with us?" Sam suggested.

Dean stared at Sam.

"I don't know." She said chewing her lip.

"Why not? You left her here the other day when you went for your run and we all managed." Sam reminded his sibling.

"Yeah...but..."

"But what? You said you had to go. What kind of appointment is it anyway?"

"Umm, just something I have to do." Dean said.

Sam could tell she was skirting the issue but he didn't push knowing he wouldn't get a straight answer from her anyway.

"Can you reschedule?" Sam asked.

"No, not really." Dean replied.

"Well I don't see another way around it. Either you wake Kayla up and deal with a grumpy Prickle all afternoon or you leave her here with us."

Dean sighed.

"Okay. I'll go, but you call me if you need anything or if anything happens." Dean warned Sam.

"Of course." Sam agreed.

Dean got up out of the chair and picked up Kaylas diaper bag. Sam followed her into the kitchen.

"When she wakes up she can have this." Dean said, holding up Kaylas cup already filled with watered down juice. She placed it on the table. "And these crackers or this fruit if she's hungry."

Dean put two small containers next to the cup.

"Got it."

"But one of you must stay with her when she's eating or drinking." Dean warned.

"Of course." Sam said.

"Diapers, wipes and cream are all in this bag." Dean patted the diaper bag she had placed on the kitchen chair.

"Dean, we've got this. Everything will be fine." Sam smiled encouragingly.

"Alright, yeah, okay, you got this." Dean said mostly to herself.

She took one last look up the stairs, hoping to hear Kayla awake before resigning herself to the fact she would have to leave her here.

"Okay, I should be about three hours." She told Sam.

"Alright." Sam said but Dean was staring up the stairs again. "Dean."

"Yeah Sammy?" Dean said, finally looking at him.

"The sooner you go the sooner you'll be back."

"You're right." She said opening the door. "But call me for anything. Doesn't matter how small."

Sam pushed Dean out the door and closed it. He considered locking it but a minute later he heard the Impala start up and drive away.