*Looks around from behind the curtain* Sorry sorry sorry! Please don't be mad at me! I've had a lot going on! I now have a 16-month-old running around everywhere so I don't ever find time to update my stories! But I'll make you all a promise *puts hand on heart* and say I will update as often as I can!
Plus, I know the majority of you if not all of you will currently be in isolation due to the naughty coronavirus, so hopefully these updates will give you something to do to keep you busy… or you could read them, find them boring and never read them again, but hey, that's up to you! I will say that after such a long break I am struggling with my writing technique and so some of the chapter may seem strange, but hopefully I'll get back into the swing of things.
Also, to welcome you all back, I've put a little X-Rated action in here *winks* for all of the GROWN UPS. So, please enjoy the next chapter of UNCHANGEABLE…
Bella POV:
Days went by. Then weeks. Then months. No contact from Paul. A hole had formed in my chest that first day I missed him. But now it was a gaping chasm right in the centre of my chest. I was empty, I wasn't anything without Paul. The months that went by saw a few more of the wolves find their imprints; Embry had found his mate in a girl called Hannah. She was nice, very good looking with her long blonde hair and almond eyes. Embry really loved her, and Hannah loved him. It was painful to see or be around. I hadn't been to the Reservation ever since seeing Quil imprint on Emily's cousin Claire, a girl around 16 with waist length black hair, who was over the moon that she had finally found her mate. That was the line for me. It's not like I wasn't happy for them, but that was the point. I was too happy for them. But I wanted to be like them, with Paul. I wanted to sit around the campfire and lean back into Paul's arms as he kissed me on top of my head and whispered in my ear that he loved me. I wanted to wake up in the morning and feel his warm arms envelope me in a warm embrace, whispering promises of never letting go. Instead, I sat at the campfires alone, at the end of the log, next to Jake who was too busy wrapped up in Lauren's embrace to engage me in conversation anymore. What was the point of me being there? Everyone acted like I wasn't there, they were too busy being in love. I still saw Emily sometimes, and she seemed more than willing to give me a shoulder to cry on. But I was done crying. I needed to do something about this. I know I didn't know Paul very well, hell, we had only really seen each other for a few days before he went AWOL. But that first kiss we had; it made me realise what was missing in my life. I was missing my other half and I had finally found it in Paul. But now, it was gone. I was half a person, half a mind, half a soul. I didn't know why Paul had suddenly ended things, there was no explanation for me. The other wolves never spoke about it, they wouldn't tell me where Paul was or if they had heard from him. Even Sam wouldn't tell me where he was. He just told me he had decided to move on from the Pack and from the Reservation. Said he wasn't happy here. Then he turned back to Emily and gave her his full attention, which she greatly received. I stopped asking them after a while. After getting the same answers over and over again, I knew that I was just wasting my breath. I hardly saw Jacob anymore either. His relationship with Lauren was a success and he was constantly with her. It's like he'd even forgotten about me.
The rejection wasn't the worst of it. It was the loss. I had a family in the Pack, I was Pack. But ever since Paul left, I slowly started slipping out of the picture, and nobody could have cared less. So, I stopped going. I stopped burdening them with my unwanted presence. I stopped seeing Emily, I stopped seeing Jacob. I didn't live, I existed. I was depressed and I didn't know if it would ever go away. Charlie didn't know what to do for me anymore. He had heard that Paul and I had a falling out from Billy. Charlie came home, cussing me for getting involved with 'one of the Res guys' but one look at my face and he let me cry in his arms on the kitchen floor. He knew how I felt. Hell, he had gone through it with my mom when she left him and took me with her. He was alone for years before she would sign any custody agreement with him. A part of me hated her for putting him through that. But I was with him now, and that was all that mattered.
I was so alone.
I was on my way into Port Angeles to find a bookstore that I had seen online. I needed a book for my English assessment but instead of looking it up online, like everyone else in the school was doing, I wanted the comfort of a physical book. Plus, the drive to Port Angeles was soothing somewhat. To drive out of Forks felt good. Driving away from everything that was hurting me, except Charlie, was therapy in its own way. Until later, when I'd have to just face it and drive back again. I pulled up a few doors down from the store. It was a small store and the doorbell tinkled above me as I entered, alerting a weedy boy to my presence. He immediately came to my side and asked what I was looking for. Usually, I would take the staff up on their offer to help, but I just wanted to waste some time looking for the book myself. Anything to put off going home early. I scanned the shelves in the English Literature section, hoping I didn't spot it right away. I told myself that if I did, I would pretend that I hadn't seen it, at least for a few minutes. There were a few books that piqued my interest as I looked. There was one called The Science and Exact Nature of English Literature that I pulled from the shelf. I flipped it open, but something else caught my eye. Through the gap from where I had taken the book, there was a pair of golden eyes looking at me from the other side. I looked back at the book as I spoke.
"Hello Edward" He looked sheepish as he rounded the corner to face me. His hands were in the pockets of his jeans.
"Hello Bella" We stood in silence for a bit, so I turned my attention back to the book as I flicked through absentmindedly. I could feel his eyes on me the entire time. After a few more minutes, I huffed in annoyance and slammed the book shut.
"Come on, let's sit down" I suggested, leading us to a table in the corner of the library. As we sat, Edward opposite me, I put the book to the side, no longer interested in reading it. Edward waited for me to speak, but I didn't really know what to say. He had tried to talk to me in Biology, where I shared a table with him, but other than a few one-word answers from me, he eventually stopped trying to engage me in conversation. I felt guilty about that because at least he was trying to be a friend to me.
"Care to share the load?" he asked. It must have been the expression on my face that made him ask that.
"I won't bother you with it" I said, looking at my hands that sat in my lap. He moved to sit next to me and took one of my hands.
"Bella, you could talk about absolutely anything and I'd find it interesting, believe me" he said with a chuckle. Hm, I didn't know what was funny. I wanted to pull my hand away from his, but it actually felt nice to have physical contact with someone else.
"I just feel so lonely Edward" I whispered. I had tried to hold the choke at the end, but that slipped out. Great. Edward squeezed my hand a little tighter.
"Bella, believe me when I say, I completely understand. There was a time when I was alone for a while and it was the worst feeling, but then I found a family in Carlisle and Esme-"
"Carlisle? As in Dr Cullen?" I asked. Dr Cullen worked at the local hospital. I'd know, as I had a visit there a few weeks ago when Charlie didn't know what else to do for me. Dr Cullen was adamant that I didn't need pills for my depression but suggested talking to someone about how I was feeling. Counselling was a no go for me. I'd gone through it plenty of times growing up.
Edward continued "The very same. They adopted me along with my other siblings. Listen Bella, if would make you feel better to talk about it, I'll listen to whatever you have to say" He'll listen. He would listen to me. I couldn't stop the tears or the sob that I was holding in the back of my throat.
"Oh Bella…" he said as he pulled me into his arms. I sobbed into his grey sweater for a few minutes, just wanting to cry it out… again. The whole time I was ruining his sweater, he smoothed my hair with his hand and held me a little tighter when I let out a particularly loud sob. He held my face between his hands, which I noted were freezing cold, and looked into my eyes as he spoke the words a part of me didn't want to hear from another man.
"I'm here for you Bella, always"
Jacob POV:
"Jacob, can you come here for a minute?"
I was lying in bed with Lauren, who was still asleep on me. I could hear my dad calling me from the other room. Trying not to disturb Lauren, I slowly slipped out from her grasp and went out to see what my dad wanted. He was sat at the kitchen table, waiting for me.
"Hey dad" He looked at me with his disappointed face.
"How's Bella son?" he asked. Shit. I knew this would eventually happen.
I sighed as I sat down "Dad, you know I haven't seen her in a while, she's busy, I'm busy and it's not-"
"It seems to me that you're not too busy for anyone else but Bella. You know, I heard from Charlie she's having a real hard time. He took her to the hospital to try and get her some pills but-" Wait what? It was no secret that I had been avoiding Bella, but I honestly didn't know what to say to her anymore. The times we used to hang out she was always asking about Paul; it was making Lauren feel uncomfortable. Lauren wasn't my imprint, but honestly, I didn't think I could even do it. True Alpha's never imprinted in our histories, so maybe the same went for me. I hoped so because Lauren was a really great girlfriend. She was a little firecracker in bed too.
"Do you even miss her Jacob?" his father asked sincerely. Of course, I miss her. I missed her a lot. But I knew that her being here on the Reservation only made her feel worse, and I didn't have enough free time to visit her in Forks. I really couldn't see a way out of this.
"Of course I do dad, but what am I supposed to do? You know how busy I am here, what with patrols and working on my car-"
"I'm not saying completely stop your life here, but Bella is a part of your life too. Just make some time for her"
"I don't think Lauren will like that very much" I muttered under my breath, hoping dad wouldn't hear. Wrong.
"Jacob, if Lauren is starting to be that way maybe it's time you ended things. After all, your imprint will be out there-"
"I'm never going to imprint Dad! If I had my way, I would have imprinted on Bella! But it didn't happen! I only wanted Bella! And if it wasn't for this-"
A loud gasp brought me out of my tirade.
"So that's it? You want Bella?" Lauren whispered, her eyes shining with unfallen tears. Fuck. Part of me only hoped she picked up that last bit, and it seemed like she did.
"No, Lauren, babe, that's not what I'm saying-" I started but she ran back to my room. I rubbed my face with my hand in frustration. Goddamn it! In reality, if I could have had my way, I would have imprinted on Bella. But the past few months with Lauren reminded me that there are other girls out there who would make me happy too. I mean, Lauren was the jealous type, if another girl even looked at me wrong, she would get all shouty at me for it later. But we were happy together. We had fun. Lauren has always believed that she took my virginity, and proudly felt smug about that. But truth is I was about as much as a virgin during our first time than she was. I lost my virginity maybe a year ago to a girl called Jasmine. She was from the Makah Reservation but damn she was a looker. She gave me one hell of a first time. Dad's voice brought me out of my head.
"Look son, maybe this is fate telling you that you shouldn't be with Lauren. You certainly aren't meant for Bella, otherwise Paul wouldn't have imprinted on her-"
I let out a growl in frustration "How am I supposed to fix this?"
"Go talk to Lauren, things will work themselves out" he advised, before wheeling himself back to his room. Fucking great. I didn't know how to talk to girls about their feelings, I mean I was a guy. Letting out a longer than usual sigh, I went back into my room to face Lauren.
"If you're trying to convince me to stay, you're wasting your breath Jacob" She was packing her things into her backpack at top speed. She was crying now. I must have really hurt her for her to be crying; Lauren didn't cry for anything. I walked over to her and stopped her hands packing. She didn't look up at me, but she stilled. Now was my chance.
"Lauren, these past few months, I've been really happy. Did I want Bella? Yeah, I did. But she has Paul now and I don't hold those feelings for her anymore-"
"Then why did you say you wanted her!" she screamed in my face.
"Wanted! I wanted her! It's past tense babe, I did want her, but I want you now. You've made me realise that I can be happy with someone else. You're really helped me through some shit these past few months, and without you I-" I stopped, because I honestly didn't know what would have happened to me if I didn't have Lauren as a distraction. She looked at me then. Her eyes were red and puffy and she exhaled with a little shake in her throat. She let go of my hand and went to sit on the bed. I followed.
"Jacob, you know I'm going through shit at home and without you I feel like there isn't a lot to carry on for-"
"Hey, don't ever talk like that" I said sternly, grabbing her hands again.
"Yeah but it's true. You're not in my shoes Jacob, you don't know what it's like to be in that house-"
"Then stay with me" The words were out of my mouth before I could stop them. But I meant them. Nothing was wrong with us for us to break up. I was happy, she was happy. My little slip up about Bella almost ruined things, but Lauren needed me. I needed her. I suppose my ancestors will make me break her heart one day if I do find my imprint, but I really hoped that I never did. I hurt her once before and I'll never do it again.
"Oh Jacob" she said as she straddled my lap. She fisted my hair tightly, making little Jacob stand to attention. She ground down into my lap as I returned upwards. That first moan to escape her mouth did it for me. I flipped her over onto her back and ripped her nightshirt in two, buttons flying everywhere. Before she could protest, I latched onto one of her pert nipples and sucked hard.
"Ah fuck baby" she moaned as she held my head down to her breast, keeping me right in place. My fingers fondled her other breast, squeezing the nipple between my fingers. I already smelled her arousal when she first sat in my lap, but the sweet scent was drifting through my nose constantly. It was making my head spin. I realised how horny I was. I let go of her nipples and began kissing down her stomach, my hands brushing her flanks as I reached towards what I wanted gone. Her underwear. One quick flick of my wrists and they were ripped away from her body too. I looked into her face before looking down at that sweet pussy. She had shaved, nice. My hands that were holding her hips gently moved around to cup her ass and I squeezed hard. I loved her ass. I left one of my hands cupping her ass and brought my other around to hover over her pussy, begging me to touch. I looked up at Lauren, she was staring at me, waiting for my next move. I smirked up at her as my tongue darted out of my mouth and ever so slowly traced her outer lips with the tip of my tongue, drawing out a sigh from Lauren. I flicked my tongue back and forth along her lips, teasing.
"Oh, Jacob please" she rasped out. She was massaging her breasts and bucking her hips into my face, but I continued working my tongue along her outer lips.
"What do you want baby?" I breathed out against her pussy. I had to hold myself dead still to stop myself from grinding into the mattress. I heard a door slam in the distance. Lauren sat bolt up.
"Don't worry, it's my dad leaving" I reassured her.
"Oh, thank God, I was hoping that he would eventu- Oh God Jacob, fuck!" I decided that was enough talk and landed my mouth on her clit, sucking it into my mouth and flicking my tongue over it. I grazed my fingers over her thigh before sinking two straight into her tight heat. It was a good thing my dad left because Laurens moaning was getting loud. But God if it didn't turn me on. I pumped my fingers in and out of her pussy as I focused my tongue on her clit. She was a wailing mess as her hips bucked into my face, her fingers tangled in my hair, pushing my face in between her legs. I started twisting my fingers and pushing into her harder, curling them on the way out. It seemed I found the spot I was looking for as her back arched and a guttural moan left her mouth. I worked my tongue faster on her clit, flicking it back and forth whilst my fingers pumped deeply in and curled on the way out.
"Oh fuck Jacob, I'm gonna cum, I'm gonna-" She arched her back, sunk her fingernails into my scalp, ground her pussy into my face and let out a low moan as her legs began to shake. I started grinding myself into the mattress, trying to relieve some of the tension in my groin and soon felt that sweet sweet feeling of my impending climax. Just a few more pumps into the mattress and I had ruined my sweats. I pulled my face away from her pussy to look at her. She had a satisfied smile on her face and let out a laugh.
"And here I was trying to plan how best to leave earlier" He joined in laughing too. That was the thing about Lauren, they just got on so easily. He wiped his mouth with his hand as he kissed his way up towards her face. When he got there, she grabbed his face between her hands, licked his lips and kissed him fiercely.
"So, um, do you want me to…?" she asked.
Jacob laughed into her neck "Nah, I'm already done"
"Oh good, because I am exhausted. Thank you, Jacob Black" she said before kissing him again. He fell to lie beside her, and they led together, her lying across his chest with her leg flung over one of his thighs protectively. Fuck yeah, Jacob thought. Mine.
"Yours" Lauren muttered sleepily. Jacob looked at her, she was already fast asleep. Huh, maybe Lauren was his imprint after all.
Paul POV:
I was going out of my fucking mind! Nothing, absolutely fucking nothing in the libraries Embry and I searched! There was nothing in any book about the hold Alpha wolves have on their pack. I was starting to lose hope that I would ever be able to fight Sam away. The only thing I could think of to stop Sam and get this motherfucking order lifted was to fight him for the Alpha title, be even I knew that I'd have no chance, not with Sam. Besides, I didn't want to be the Alpha, I just wanted my imprint. My mate. Who's name I couldn't even remember anymore. I couldn't even remember her face or her laugh or the feel of her lips on mine. I couldn't remember any of it. Embry was the only one that helped me through this, though he had found his imprint, Hannah. She was alright, a bit stuck up and from the city, but apparently her family had moved into Forks and so Embry saw her like every day. Them there's Quil with Claire, who just turned 16. Sam and Emily, Jake and Lauren, even if they weren't imprinted, they acted like they were. Jacob didn't even know that he loved her, but we could all see the way he looks at her. The way she looks at him. She doesn't even care to look at me anymore, which is actually quite a help, considering our history. It was only a few times we slept together, and she wasn't all that great. But it was a relief that she had moved on with someone else. But me, Paul Lahote, nah, He doesn't get to move on and be happy, despite his shitty upbringing. He has to be miserable for the rest of his days., whilst those around him can be happy. It wasn't fucking fair! I had honestly put a fucking lot of thought into leaving the Pack and turning rogue. But I doubt I'd get very far, what with Sam handing out orders like they were fucking compliments. If, and I didn't really have any other choice, if I did leave the Pack, then technically Sam's order would lift, and I'd be able to see her again. Whoever she is. But leaving would mean I'd never get to see Jared or Seth or Jacob again. I'd never see them again and if I did try and wander back into territory, Sam would order them to attack to kill. I wouldn't put it past him. Or at least I wouldn't put it past Emily. She couldn't have me, so the bitch used Sam to do her dirty work for her. I knew. I knew everything. She thought she could hide it, hell I'd be surprised if Sam hadn't already seen straight through it. I know the guys know what's going on but if I can just get this fucking order lifted! I just want an easy life, with my imprint. I deserved that much.
Didn't I?
A/N: Ooooh, I've invited Edward back into the story, because let's be real, it's not a twilight fanfiction without him causing at least a little bit of trouble… or will he?
