Don't Give Me Nothing You don't Want to Loose: Akane of Suzaku Island
Si Wong Desert, 97 AG
I cross my arms and watch Rei examine Samir through the doorway of the tent, one of her hands dropping down to twine in the dog's fur. I shouldn't be surprised. They say be careful what you ask for, and I always thought I was.
And I was careful. I did need the space from Rei. I needed time to figure out who I was without her, time to figure out who I was when I didn't have anyone else to rely upon. And I expected her to be there when I got back because that's what had always happened when I broke myself on the rocks of life.
She was there even when she was exhausted after fighting for money to keep her uncle alive, even when she was exhausted after fighting to keep her family safe. She was there when I fell in and out of love with Takumi, and she was there when Hotaru died on a mission to break waterbenders out of prison.
I was there for her too, I guess. I was there when her uncle died. I was there when she lost a fight and came home bruised and penniless. I was there when she came back broken and triumphant. I was there when Nuan came and when he left. I was there when she left to be a wandering doctor.
And then I wasn't.
I wanted distance and I got it. Just not on my terms.
"Don't you have something better to do?"
"The ostrich camels are fed, watered, brushed and hobbled, the tents are set up and staked down, and after last time I tried to cook, I think Nuan decided that he didn't want me trying and possibly ruining the pot this time, so no, I don't have anything better to do right now." I slant a look over at Toph.
She's got her arms crossed to as she watches the pair of them, leaning against a stack of rocks that she'd probably pulled out of the ground.
Looking at her like this, it isn't hard to see what her parents must have seen. She's tiny, and even leaning against a rugged pillar of earth that she probably pulled out of the ground herself, she looks delicate. If anything, the rocks make her look even more delicate in comparison.
I don't ask her if she's got anything better to do. I'm not surprised that she's here, just surprised that she's out here with me and not in there with Nuan. Makani knows that I'd have been there every time Tu had to patch her up after a rumble if I could have been, and the worst injury Rei ever got in the rumbles was a couple of broken ribs that took two months to heal.
It may have been almost six months since Samir was gutted (and his tribe was killed. I didn't even hear of it. I wonder if Aunt Kimiko did, and she just never told me because there was nothing I could do.) but Rei's told me that gut wounds are some of the messiest and the hardest wounds to heal. Even though Samir's been fine so far, I wouldn't bet on anything until someone who knows what they're doing looks him over.
I glance back at Rei and -
Rei's frowning. I tense. It's not the you idiot frown I see sometimes when I'm denying I'm sick, or the lost expression she gets she knows that her patient is going to die. It's the frown she gets when I say something she doesn't understand - when I do something different from the way her parents taught her how to do it.
"What is it?" Toph demands, the pilar sliding into the ground behind her with a stop.
"Nothing," I say, already knowing she won't believe me. "Come on. Let's get closer."
"-healed really cleanly." Rei glances up as Toph and I reach the tent door, but she doesn't stop as she untangles her hand from the dog's fur to reach for me. I go to her without hesitation, and Toph drops to her knees in front of Samir, squeezing his hands in a way that I'd figured they used to communicate when they were talking to each other. "There weren't any signs of infection or internal bleeding, and his skin is admirably elastic for not having used any salves, especially in this environment."
The dog nudges my hand, drawing my attention away from Rei for a moment. Deliberately, it winks at me, leaving me blinking as Rei continues speaking, her other hand coming up so that she was cradling my hand between two of hers. "And besides that, there's no sign of stitches."
That declaration makes me glance back at Rei again in confusion. "No stitches? But then how is he alive? I swear, every time I told you about the latest play, you fumed about how they always 'healed' everything by just wrapping the wound."
"Exactly." Rei sounds satisfied, which is good for her, because I don't have a clue what's happening. "So, was it a one time thing? Or can I meet the waterbender?"
Zuko sighs. There's silence in the tent. Samir looks vaguely pleased.
"There was no waterbender."
"Then who healed Samir?" Rei's tone books no argument. "I may not have ever seen any wounds healed by waterbenders, but I've seen gut wounds before, and this is not how they heal naturally."
"There was no waterbender," Zuko repeats, his eyes fixed on something just to my right. "It was just me, trying to save a dying kid in a field of dead bodies. I didn't know the others were coming, I barely knew what to do, but I was tired of seeing people die because of the Fire Nation, alright?"
I don't understand. But then I see Samir moving, and I glance his way in time to see him making the first sign they'd taught me - a sort of generic confirmation of 'that's correct' or 'that's what I said'. He catches my eyes and makes the sign again. Then he makes the sign for fire, points at Zuko, and rubs his stomach right where the scar is. And-
"You used firebending to heal like a waterbender would," Toph says. She sounds almost unimpressed, and Samir nudges her with an elbow, making her yelp. "Okay, okay, you called it!"
"Wait, you healed him using firebending?" Rei asks, letting go of my hand and stepping forwards, leaving me with the dog as she kneels to look at Samir's scar again. "But how does that even work? You didn't cauterize the wound, and you can't manipulate the fluids like a waterbender would . . ."
"How, in the Face Stealer's name, would I know?"
"You're the one who did it!"
I wince as their voices start to rise, and I motion for the kids to come over to me.
"Water healing is supposed to be instinctual, what makes you think fire healing is any different?"
"Well, I don't know, maybe because I'd have heard of it before now?"
"You have!"
"You two go tell Nuan that we might be a little late for dinner," I mutter, and Toph nods solemnly before tugging Samir out of the tent.
"Where, on Lady Kun's green earth, would I have heard of this?"
"Drums in Zhi! Thy Forest's Fire! Grass For Horizons!"
Rei's face goes blank as she sits back on her heels, and I wonder why for a moment before I remember that despite her education in medicine and math, she skipped school. Tu the doctor certainly didn't have time to teach her any of them, between her starting her apprenticeship late and the night taken by the Rumbles.
And besides that, all of the plays he's naming are truly ancient. I don't know if she would have learned out them eve if she'd gotten a normal citizen's education. Even as a noble, my tutor barely covered them.
"Zuko-" I cut myself off, not knowing how to say it. I don't want to just remind Rei of everything she missed, but I don't really want to talk about the fact that Zuko and I are both nobles, with all the privileges that come with that.
My interruption is enough to break the focus of the argument though, and Rei is scowling at the floor. Then she sighs and shakes her head.
"Akane?"
"He's right," I mutter before turning to address Zuko. "You do know they probably don't teach those plays in most schools though, right?"
From the surprised, then guilty look on his face, no he hadn't known. "Right. Anyways, all of the plays are ancient Fire plays. Not Old Fire ancient, put pretty old. They have a lot of inconsistencies, and a lot of of them seem to be set somewhere in the Earth Kingdoms. Drums in Zhi, for example, appears to have been named after the Zhi Bay and River, and obviously, there aren't any places on the islands where we've got grass for horizons. And Zuko's right. They all have fire healing."
"They have earth and air healing too," Zuko offers quietly. His hands slide together in a motion I recognise after a moment as one of the Fire meditations my aunt taught me in an effort to help with my airbending.
The dog quietly pads forwards in the silence until it can start to lick one of Rei's hands. She twitches, then reaches out to sink that hand in it's fur as it settles down on its haunches next to her. I take a deep breath and remind myself not to be jealous, remind myself that I left her.
(I left her. When Toph heard that she went pale. Samir's hand went to the scar on his stomach. Even Zuko and Nuan, who don't have dreams and can't possibly know what it's like, looked a little pale.)
"Okay," Rei says. "Okay."
She scrubs her face with the hand not in the dog's fur, then motions for me to come to her. She grabs my hand as I get near, and tugs me closer so she can push up my sleeve to reveal a bandaged burn I'd gotten a couple days back. She carefully takes the bandages off, then pulls me forwards a bit so Zuko can see.
"Okay," she repeats. "Show me."
Zuko glances from her to me with a silent question in his eyes as he carefully takes my arm, and I nod. He relaxes and motions for me to sit down. He lets go of my arm with one hand and starts making little circles in the air and muttering. It isn't until he starts on "Lord Agni of the Burning Sun, Of growth and of things yet begun," and a spark flickers to life in the air he's circling that I realize he's praying. He's probably using the opportunity to calm down a little and to gather some fire, but - I shift slightly as he continues onto "Makani, Storm Lord, Lord of Air" - he's praying.
I'd heard that Fire Lord Azulon and Fire Lord Ozai, in their combined infinite wisdom, had decreed that spirits weren't real. I'd heard some of my cousins talking with Aunt Kimiko about it, about polluted lakes and textbooks talking of silly superstitions that we were of course too knowledgeable to believe in now.
But here's the boy who would have been crown prince, and he knows the names of the Great Spirits. He knows a prayer that includes all of them, when I barely knew my own Great Spirit's names.
Then he lets go of my wrist with his other hand to pull at the fire like a glass blower, and it goes rainbow between his hands. I watch in awe as it licks his fingers harmlessly, and he waves his hand close to my arm once, then slides it down my forearm, leaving nothing but smooth skin. The fire feels like the hot, dry air that comes out of the ovens at home, perhaps a little on the side of too hot, but nothing truly harmful, especially as it keeps moving.
Rei is grabbing for my arm almost before he sits back, tongues of rainbow flame still dancing over his hands.
"Okay," she says, once she's finished her examination, and the only thing keeping my arm on her lap is the dog sniffing cautiously at my fingers. "I can work with this."
Title from 'To a Poet' by First Aid Kit.
