Chapter 77 - Not That Bright

The door unlocked and all the animals entered, stomping snow on the mat and taking their shoes and coats off.

Bill looked over from his phone on the couch bed. "Hey, guys."

Pina took the bat out of his backpack and walked over to him. "So, what do you think? Do I look tough?" He rested it on his shoulder, cocking his head.

"Where's the fingerless gloves?"

"I'll get em later." The sheep made some mock swings. "Hey, Legosi, Louis? You guys got any nails or anything?"

"Uhhhh..." Legosi looked at his mate.

"Nails?" Louis repeated.

"You notice I chose a wooden bat, yeah? I wanna make some modifications."

"This isn't a game, Pina!"

Pina squinted at Louis. "Exactly, so that's why I want to make this thing more damaging. You think a regular bat is gonna do much against a meat-hungry carnivore?"

"Yes? A really hard swing would! You're not trying to take out their eye."

The other herbivore scoffed. "Could have just told me you didn't have any nails." He set the bat down and sat down next to Bill, his expression softening.

The tiger laughed. "You're funny."

"I think you mean scary. Rrrr!" He poked Bill's bicep rapidly.

He laughed more. "Legosi, you missed out. My boyfriend's clearly the best."

Legosi cleared his throat. "Uh, I think we got paired with the right ones."

Pina crawled into his mate's lap. "So how was your sleep?"

Louis made a face at Bill, who dodged it to look down at his mate. "Wet. KIDDING!"

"Better be, considering I wasn't even here during most of it."

"I didn't have any dreams, actually. Just slept."

Legosi and Louis walked off into the kitchen area.

Pina stroked the feline. "That's good. I was worried about you this morning."

"Worried?"

"You're a big boy and you need sleep."

"I couldn't..."

"I know." Pina looked at Bill's face. He was so handsome in a sort of messy way. He couldn't get enough of it. "I think you only fell asleep because of my voice...is that true?"

"Whaaat? Noooo..."

"What?"

Pina leaned his head back onto Bill's shoulder. "Thought maybe you liked the sound of my voice. Found it soothing."

"I do! Of course I do!"

The herbivore kissed his cheek. "Where would you take me right now if we didn't have to deal with all this shit."

"Hm...I guess to have sex in the dorm?"

The sheep breathed out his nose slowly. "I mean a date."

"Oh. A date? We can go to the cafeteria for some food?"

Louis observed in awe.

"Bill, use your imagination. If you could take me anywhere, go anywhere together, where would you want to go?" Pina's tone was almost pleading.

"Uh...Maybe...to the park?"

Pina put his hand on Bill's chest. That was a little better. "Which park?"

"Uh...we could look it up."

"What would you wanna do at this park?"

"Uhhhhhhhhh...grass—lay in the grass?"

"That sounds nice." He grabbed the tiger's big hand with both of his, rubbing his knuckles. "How would you feel about all those animals seeing us lie together?"

"Uh...maybe we should go to the...uh..." He was struggling, hard.

"Beach?" Pina suggested, nearly whispering.

"Uh...what's there?"

The dall sheep blinked. "Sand, the ocean. Me in a swimsuit."

"Swim trunks? I guess those are pretty cool."

Pina looked back at Louis and Legosi with dead eyes.

Louis looked back, with a wincing face. You struck gold, Pina.

Bill did so. "Looks funny."

His boyfriend groaned. "You're so hard to work with."

"Work with what?"

"Trying to be romantic."

"I can be romantic! I'll make you some dinner and we can watch TV in bed!"

"What'll you make me?" Pina fluttered his eyes at him.

"Hmmm...ramen?"

Legosi's ears folded back as he observed. He turned to Louis and whispered, "I was never that bad, was I?"

Louis laughed. "Not at all!"

Pina sighed. He figured he should lay off the cat, now. He had just lost one of his best friends, after all. He nestled into his lap, taking his phone out and browsing the internet.

Bill frowned. "I feel like an idiot..."

Pina looked back at him again. "No, I'm sorry. Now wasn't the best time to try talking about that."

"I gave all the wrong answers..."

The skinnier animal thought for a second. "Have you...actually ever dated anyone before?"

"What?"

"Easy question. Have you dated anyone before me?"

"Yeah! A lot!"

"Dates." Pina crossed his arms. "Not sex."

"Sex multiple times with the same animal!"

"Did you take her out to dinner?"

"Uhhhhhh..."

Pina turned his attention to the other couple in the room. "Where have you two gone on dates?"

Legosi held his finger up. "That shop where we got our scarves!"

Louis nodded. "Stargazing."

"Oh, we have so much we have to do, still!" Legosi puffed his cheeks out.

The deer laughed. "Yep."

Pina looked back at his boyfriend. "See? Anything like that you'd like to do with me?"

Bill looked at him. "I like making out with you. It's really hot."

The sheep shook his head, eyes closed. This really was one for the books. "Once all of this is over, I'm gonna take you out places, okay?"

"Me?"

Pina cocked his head. "...Yeah?"

Legosi looked at Louis with wide eyes. He had no clue Bill was this hopeless.

The deer grimaced. His eyes told him he knew how bad it was.

Bill grinned. "Sounds fun."

Pina's lips formed a line, his eyes squinty. "Damn straight, it does. I'm gonna boyfriend the shit outta you."

"Woah. Sounds hot~"

Louis facepalmed. He's the biggest idiot…

Pina leaned down and nibbled Bill's neck. Was this really worth it? Pina knew there was a genuine and fun guy beneath all of those stripes, but coaxing him out was like trying to level a brick wall with a toothbrush.

The tiger smiled and rubbed his back. "But we have to wait until all this is over, huh?"

His boyfriend hugged him. "Would be the best thing to do. Since I'm the brains of this operation, apparently, I need all the time I can get to think."

"Hey! Mean!" Bill's ears drooped.

"What, have an idea of how we should find out who is and isn't the killer, big guy?"

"Oh, brains of..."

"Yeah..."