(A/N: Hey y'all, I'll make this author's note brief. This request was by LameLord, and I hope it turns out good! Over the 3-4 years I've been writing this fic, they've given me lots of support. Many thanks to them and all my readers. Sweet crap, I just realized I've been on FF for almost 7 years now)


Ch. 53: Solo Tak

Summary: In Zim's temporary absence, Tak finally has a chance to do things her way. But something's not right...


"Megaphones, check. Posters, check. Checklist...where'd I put that...? Oh. Check."

"HOLD UP, ZIM! How could you just spring this on me and think I'd be okay with it?!"

"In what way did I 'spring it on you'?" Zim dug around in the Voot. "Glowsticks, check."

"You announced it out of nowhere less than a minute ago and barely told me anything!" Tak glared down at him.

"I told you the important parts! Calendars, check."

"Literally all you said was 'hey, I'm going to space for a bit on some business, don't ask about it'!"

"Yes, the important parts. GIR, we're not taking all these sporks."

"MY FOONS!" the SIR burst into tears and Skoodge patted his back.

Tak swatted the spork baggie out of Zim's hand. "Then tell me the unimportant parts."

"UGHHH, I've finished my checklist anyway," Zim faced her. "For the next 3 Earth days, GIR, Skoodge and I will be away on a secret mission. So secret, in fact, that we shouldn't be discussing it!"

"Not sure how 'secret' you thought it'd be with the Voot sitting right in the living room," Tak pointed out.

"Yeah, whose bright idea was that?" Zim squinted at GIR and Skoodge, who pointed fingers at each other. "Anyway, it's super secret, super important, super dangerous, and did I mention super secret?"

"Then why are those two clowns going with you?"

"Because, um..."

"Because we're expendable!" offered Skoodge.

"Yes, that!" Zim nodded. "Good answer, GIR."

"Yeah, GIR..." Skoodge mumbled bitterly. (GIR was still mourning the loss of his "foons")

"Besides, you don't want to be stuck in this tiny ship with them! TRUST ME," Zim went on, holding her shoulders. "You'll have a comparatively lovely time here, defending the base from human threats! Been a lot of squirrels around here lately."

"Okay, I get it," Tak huffed. "I don't really, but maybe it'd be alright."

"Fair enough," Zim folded his hands behind his back. "Final reminder, I'll be gone for 3 DAYS. Away. With nobody but GIR and Skoodge for company. Practically marooned. So, while I'm still here, y—"

"What're you waiting for, a hug and a kiss?" Tak rolled her eyes. "If you're going, then go."

"Again, fair enough!" Zim joined GIR and Skoodge in the Voot.

"What?" Tak caught MiMi's judgmental expression. "It's not like he's gonna be gone forever. You three just be safe and all that generic stuff."

"NO PROMISES!" The trio waved and shut the windshield.

With that, the roof opened up and the Voot Cruiser took off into the sky. As Tak watched it, the realization that Zim left her on Earth with only the useful minions truly hit her. It was far from the worst arrangement.

"Oddly peaceful, isn't it, MiMi? Not having to worry about them all doing...them things? It's kind of exciting, even!"

MiMi disagreed; a few seconds of "peace" was enough for her to conclude she didn't care for it.

But Tak was overcome by a feeling like her mission was truly beginning, like Earth's destruction was closer than ever before.
Yeahhh, she'd wait for Zim, but no way could she slack off the whole time.

"I'll just think up some plans for when he gets back. That should fill up 3 days."

XXXXXXXTHENEXTDAYXXXXXXX

On the Skool playground the next day, Tak sat jotting down ideas for a superweapon. At times, she thought she might be overdoing it, but then again, she had every right to overdo it. She was on her own! For the time being.

She almost dropped her pen as a shudder ran through her.

"Why do I feel...annoyed?" she muttered. Her face fell, realizing the cause. "GEE! I sure hope I'm not being watched right now! Especially by some creep with a head the size of a whale shark!"

"OH, IT IS DOGFISH-SIZED AT MOST!" Dib fumed from bushes behind her. "...dangit!"

Tak tucked her notebook away as he tripped over the fence in a heap of leaves.
While her hatred for Dib had mostly dissipated into apathy over time, (unlike Zim's ever would) by no means did she like that meddling kid. Although, his antics tended to be harmless and he deserved a little credit for not being as blind as the rest of humanity. Tak didn't really want to destroy him...yet, she just wished he'd mind his own business.

"Either way, you're still creepy," she remarked.

"If trying to thwart evil makes me creepy, then so be it! But enough about my flaws, or we'll be here for hours," Dib straightened out his cowlick. "Zim's not at Skool, which means he's off doing evil that needs thwartin', doesn't it?"

"Maybe, maybe not. However, Zim actually won't be around for the next couple days, so you can rest easy until then."

"You expect me to believe that?"

Tak shrugged. "Do you believe it?"

"NO!"

"How unexpected."

"...well, where IS Zim? Huh? HUH? HUUUH?!"

"NOT HERE, alright? Not anywhere on this planet, so don't waste your time looking for him." Irritated, Tak leaned on an elbow. "It's just me left in charge for now..."

"You...in charge?!" Dib's already wide eyes widened. "My recurring nightmares have come true! Earth is DOOMED! No, no, nononono, I can do this! I CAN do this! Even if things look kinda hopeless, I just have to set my mind to it, and I can stave off the Irken menace once more!"

"Sitting right here," Tak reminded him. "What could you be self-talking about now?"

"You know exactly what I'm self-talking about! I doubt you've forgotten that the last time Zim was out of commission, you nearly destroyed the world on your own in, like, a week! And you only didn't because we...blurgh...joined forces to stop you."

A smile played about Tak's lips. "Pretty impressive, wasn't I? ...uh, but so what? Without Zim, I won't be doing anything of the sort."

"Don't give me that! You two might 'lurve' each other now, but you're still the same moustache-twirling villains you've always been," Dib asserted. "Just because Zim's gone to get space milk or whatever doesn't mean that's gonna change!"

Just then, the Skool bell rang, and the students began heading inside.

"Ugh, I don't even know why I bother..." Tak rose and walked past Dib. "Zim might be incompetent on multiple levels, but he and I are still sworn partners, so I wouldn't go behind his back on something that matters this much to him."

"Yeah. Suuure you wouldn't," he scoffed. "NOTE MY SARCASTIC TONE!"

XXXXXXXCLASSROOMXXXXXXX

During class, Tak's mind constantly drifted back to Dib had said about her prowess as a solo invader. Now that she was thinking about it so much, it sounded pretty legit. She'd even been working more efficiently since Zim left. Under a day had passed, but she could definitely say her thought process was smoother without him cutting in...

Since she wasn't interested in Ms. Bitters's leeching lesson anyway, she reopened her notebook; hopefully, she could stick to plotting until Zim got back. It'd be just two days, after all.

XXXXXXXAWHOLEWEEKLATERXXXXXXX

Seven days later, Tak was hard at work down in the lab. She was in the midst of creating prototypes, as detailed in her notes. She'd been so wrapped up in all that, she didn't realize Zim and the "expendables" weren't back yet.

"Incoming transmission from Invader Skoodge!" blared Computer.

"Who...? Oh. Yeah, yeah," Tak slowly faced the sizable screen. "Uhh, answer it..."

BEEP!

Skoodge appeared outside a space jailhouse wearing a t-shirt that really didn't fit him.

"Tak! Thank goodness I got through! I've been trying for days, but reception out here's gotta be the worst!"

"Days? What...oh, yeah!" Tak shook her head. "Shouldn't you be done with your 'super secret mission' by now?"

"Yes, but something...came up."

"Something stupid and/or self-inflicted?"

"You could say that," Skoodge gulped. "Okay, Zim didn't want you to know, but we all left to see the Spooch Boys in concert and—"

"The Spooch Boys?" Tak stifled a laugh, spotting their logo on his shirt. "I remember them pandering to smeets. Female smeets."

"The band got back together for a galaxy-wide tour, okay?! You have no idea how much trivia I had to download for those tickets! Plus, it's the only reason Zim and GIR ever willingly spend time with me! Without hurting me," Skoodge said defensively. "Hoooo, but we're getting off-topic! The three of us arrived at the concert just fine, but Zim got, well, excited and, ehh, tried to get onstage, then security jumped him because he, uhh, kinda caused lotsa collateral damage. It was nuts, crippled children and deformed backup dancers everywhere. And much to my surprise, GIR was of NO help! Basically, I thought you oughta know we're working on getting Zim outta space jail. As long as he takes the plea bargain and the Spooch Boys agree to the restraining order, we should be back in a few days. No need to worry, or bite anyone's head off once they're back within biting range..."

"Oh." Tak seemed unfazed by this news. "A few days, you say?"

"Yeah, hopefully. Glad you're taking it so well. So, whatcha workin' on there?"

"OH!" Tak glanced back at all her half-built weaponry. "UHH, it's...! It's...!"

"Ah, they're calling me in for more questioning! I'll keep you posted, though!" Skoodge saw security growing impatient. "I HEARD YOU, I HEARD YOU! DON'T GET THE MACE AGAI—"

BEEP!

"...hmm." Alone again, Tak continued her work. "A few days."

XXXXXXXAMONTHLATERXXXXXXX

"Mothman's log, day...I dunno, I'll edit this later. I'm currently sneaking into the Irken base to uncover what Tak's been plotting." Dib crawled and slid through the darkened vent. "Speaking of which, it's been about a month since Zim mysteriously disappeared, and following his 'departure', she's been acting...unusual. All she does at Skool is scribble in her little journal, not even pretending to pay attention. But I paid attention! This must be her most insidious plan yet! And who knows where Zim is in all this? Mmgh, maybe Tak was playing the long con all along. Luring Zim in, so she could kill him and take over the world herself! Man, that's cold; I'm not sure even Zim deserved that. In any case, I should really shut up now, 'cause I'm getting close to the inner sanctum. And there's something grabbing m—YAAAAAAGHHH!"

He was yanked straight down through an opening in the duct by a metal claw on a wire, which stopped on a dime just above the floor. There, several other cable claws seized his arms, legs, and the scythe of his hair.
After recovering from the dizziness, Dib scanned the chamber he was now dangling in. It was dim and empty, save for an elevator shaft on one side and a wall of blank screens on the other.

"Yow!"
The boy's tape recorder bounced off his head and onto the shadowy floor. He would've tried to reach for it, but a boot stomped down and crushed it. Snickering villainously, Tak revealed herself. Everything about her from the glint in her eyes to the slight twitching of her antennae exuded pure evil, and it chilled Dib's blood something awful.
"Tak!"

"The one and only," she began. "You're right on time. Now that you've barged in and gotten yourself captured, every obnoxious threat is out of my way! There's nothing left that could ruin today!"

"'Obnoxious'...? I mean, what's so special about today?!"

"Heheheh, at last, the chance to do a proper scheme reveal," Tak smugly turned away from him. "You see, human, for the past few weeks, I've been covertly constructing a de-terraformation machine. You know what 'de-terraformation' means?"

"I'm not sure that's a real word."

"It means it tears the earth apart! At least, that's what I designed it for," Tak cackled. "This machine consists of a massive, multi-spindled drill which, upon activation, will bury Earth's crust, causing its magma to consume the surface within the hour!"

Dib gaped in horror. "But! That'll turn the whole world inside out! And, y'know, kill everybody on it!"

"That's the idea, brainiac! From there, Earth will be transformed into a new parking structure planet, and any surviving humans will work as slaves on it! The Tallest are always saying they could do with more of those."

"Slaves?"

"Parking structure planets. It's all this one's got the potential to be, anyway! Hah, I might as well purge the population and move onto bigger, better things!" Tak snapped her fingers. "How'd you like to go first?"

"Umm, I think I'll pass on th—AAAAUGHH...!" Dib wheezed as his restraints stretched his limbs further and further out.

"Hahahaha! Ohh, I'm going to savor this mome—"

"Inconveniently timed transmission from Invader Skoodge!" interrupted Computer.

"He's really calling AGAIN," Tak groaned. At another snap, Dib's de-limbing ceased. "MIMI! A PIG!"

MiMi came racing up to her with a little rubber piggy. Dib struggled to curb his shaking as Tak approached and stuffed the toy in his mouth.

"You, hold this," she told him before stomping toward the screens. "MiMi, make sure he doesn't do anything stupid, as he is prone to. Computer, put that dunce on already."

BEEP!

This time, Skoodge appeared outside a space courthouse wearing a suit and tie.

"Hiii," a nervous grin graced his features. "Ahaaa, I know, I KNOW, you're probably sick and tired of me calling about this, but I think there's finally been a breakthrough in the case! Get this: we are in the process of getting the Spooch Boys to consider possibly meeting to negotiate with us on lowering Zim's sentence from 2,100 years to 900!"

"Wow," thought Dib. "That's almost 60% off...wait, Zim's WHAT?!"

"They even said he'll be eligible for parole just 750 years in!"

"Gosh. That really puts my mind at ease," the female Irken deadpanned.

"Mine too! It—" Only then did Skoodge notice Tak had a frightened preteen boy behind her, bound with a pig in his teeth. "UHHHM...am I interrupting something?"

She eyed the human deviously. "Oh, nothing that won't be resolved in the next hour. Heheheh..."

"HA-HA..." Skoodge forced out. "Youuu've been acting mighty spooky lately. Weird. Off-putting. But I digress...the Spooches should reach their decision in 6 to 8 months. Depending on court scheduling, of course. So, as I always say, don't worry!"

"I won't," came Tak's cold reply. "As I always say, you take your time there, and I'll take care of things here."

"Will do!" Skoodge turned to GIR, who was doodling on the indictment forms. "Have you got our appeal ready?"

"Who's a peel?"

BEEP!

"Now that that's over with..." Tak strode back over to Dib and snatched the piggy from him.

"Y-Yo-You won't get away with this...! Situation looks VERY hopeless now, but you won't!"

"I don't think I've ever seen you so scared, Dib," chuckled Tak. "It thrills me to have made such a negative impression on you, sooo you won't perish just yet."

"Um, yay?" Dib watched her switch all the monitors to video feeds of gigantic drilling structures. "Is that...?"

"YES! It's my de-terraformation machine! The control center is sitting just outside city limits, ready for me to activate it and complete my mission!"

"Why'd you set up cameras all over it...?" Dib inquired. "Like, that must've taken a while and y—!"

"Okay, enough outta you," Tak shoved the rubber pig back in his mouth. "Just resume your mortal terror so I can get on with devastating your world."

Dib's fearful expression returned, as did her cruel smirk. Satisfied, she entered the elevator along with MiMi.

"Farewell, Dib! Enjoy your private screening of humanity's demise!"

As she and her SIR made their ascent, they could still hear Dib's muffled cries.
Once upstairs, they found Minimoose putting the finishing touches on the Spittle Runner.

"It's about time those adjustments were done. With me, MiMi."

Minimoose would've gone "nyah" if Tak hadn't taped his mouth shut a few days prior.

In the newly upgraded ship, Tak and MiMi jetted to the outskirts of the city, where the de-terraformer lie. After landing the Spittle atop its command center, Tak gazed at one of the cameras. Her face lit up, certain Dib was watching with that glorious, scared look on his.
Now came the time for the big start-up sequence. Tak had MiMi handle all the tiny levers and switches, while she merely pushed the giant button at the end.

BWRHHH-BWRHHH-BWRHHH...

"It's happening! It's finally happening!"

Throwing her head back, Tak laughed diabolically as the de-terraformer tore into the earth, and MiMi grudgingly remained beside her.

"The Earth crumbling beneath me! That feeble human soiling himself with despair! My maniacal laugh sounding pitch-perfect! This is how it was DESTINED to be! HAHAHAHA! And this is just the beginning! I won't stop here or at the next planet my 'almighty' leaders assign to me! The Irken Empire can be mine! The galaxy can be mine! The entire UNIVERSE can be mine, now that I don't have—!"

Beep-beep-beep!

"For crying out LOUD," Tak glared at her wrist communicator. "Didn't I warn that moose he'd lose a nub if he interrupted me?! Guess you really can't find good help these days..."

Despite her spoilt mood, she decided to answer it before the de-terraforming really picked up.

beep!

"WHAT?!"

"...well. That's a fine greeting after all this time."

"IT'S NO...!" Tak's antennae perked up. She peered at the little screen and saw Zim in a tattered prison uniform with GIR and Skoodge were KO'd behind him. All three were covered in bruises and looked to be inside the Voot Cruiser. The malice faded from her voice.
"Oh...it's you, Zim…?"

"The one and only," Zim said wearily. "Well, we're making our way back to Earth now. I don't think I have to explain that galactic court really tried my patience this past month; even their snacks were 2-star at best. SO, I ultimately decided to just blow everything up and make a break for it. I also don't think I have to explain how I did that."

"R-Really? You really became a galactic fugitive all so you could finish your mission?"

"Yes, all so—wait, NO! Ha, almost had me there! Those guys wanted me imprisoned for however-many-hundred years, and I'd have to be criminally insane to let myself go all that time without seeing you again!"

"Which everyone on the curry said you were!" GIR piped up.

"For the last time, it's 'jury', GIR! And they were clearly wrong! Go back to sleep mode...!" Zim nudged him offscreen. "Ahem! Tak, I assure you I would've called much sooner, but those officials were all 'we can't trust you not to call for accomplices, blah blah blah, you're tearing the straitjacket, blah blah, the warden says radio waves are machinations of the devil'! Excuses like that."

Tak blinked at him. "I see..."

"Preferably, I would've sorted all this out without you knowing...somehow, but then Skoodge said you already did, aaand in hindsight, I could've saved myself a lot of aggravation there. So, I apologize for my brilliant deception, but again, the big takeaway here is we'll be reunited in an hour or so. You must've been miserable without me around, huh?"

"Uhhh, come to think of it, I really was," Tak admitted blushingly.

"YOU WERE?"

"Why do you seem relieved about it?! Did you think I wouldn't miss you at all?!"

"NO," he shook his head. "It's just that I was miserable without you around...so it's just neat to know. But worry not! Once I get there, we—hey, what's all that rumbling and dust and stuff behind you?"

"THAT'S...nothing."

"Hmm. Sounds plausible to me." Zim gave a salute. "Well, see you soon! Earth will be ours in no time!"

"Yep, see ya..." Tak saluted back. "Soon."

beep!

She felt as though her senses returned to her, and paused to reexamine the surrounding wreckage. Taking a deep breath, she shut down the de-terraforming machine. Its damage was undone as all the earth began settling back in.

"Phew..." Tak turned to MiMi. "Come on, let's head home. I wouldn't want Zim to see what I did to Minimoose."

XXXXXXXALILLATERXXXXXXX

"Zim!"

"Present..." The exhausted Irken poked his head out of the Voot. "And accounted for...OOF!"

Tak caught him as he collapsed. "They didn't break your legs in space prison, did they?"

"No, I'm just tired." Zim surveyed the pristine living room. "Ah, I can see you had no difficulties holding up the fort!"

"Yesyesyes. SAY, it's a good thing you keep all those spare uniforms in the lab, because you could use one," Tak rushed out. She set him down, but still held him around his torso in case he fell again. "MiMi, you tend to GIR."

"I've got 4th degree burns!" GIR showed them off.

Skoodge coughed. "'Tend to GIR' and...?"

"Yeah, him too."

MiMi eagerly obeyed while Zim and Tak pulled the flusher, sending the elevator on its slow descent.

"Sooo," Tak broke the silence. "You think the galactic feds will come after you?"

"Nah, I left fake corpses behind...but..." Zim sounded slightly embarrassed. "The Spooch Boys! THEY...what's that thing humans say? 'Never eat your heroes'?"

"'Never meet your heroes', Zim."

"Yes, that! They were such unreasonable jerks!" Zim said angrily. "I took time out of my all-important duties for them, and they didn't show me one bit of gratitude! Over a few million monies in vandalism! Accidental vandalism!"

"They didn't?" Tak stared him in the face. "Those ingrates."

"I'll say! They humiliated me! They didn't even autograph any of my Spooch merchandise to make up for it!"

"Stop the madness."

"OOHH! I might as well burn it all!"

"Sure, that'll show 'em." Tak met her lips to his. "Just be glad that didn't end up happening to you. Like I am."

"O-O-Of course, heh..." Zim managed to say, standing upright. "Who wouldn't be?"

Tak grinned, but couldn't shake the feeling she'd forgotten something...eh, it probably wasn't important.
When the elevator doors slid open, Dib was still chained up where she had left him.

"ZIM?" he hissed through the toy pig.

"Oh yeah, that," Tak murmured.

"Oh, wow!" Zim gasped excitedly. "Tak, I thought I was the generous one! You didn't have to get me a Dib-human for my return!"

"I..."

"BUT I ACCEPT! You trapped him so nicely, too! I'll have to come up with a fitting way to destroy him...!" Zim marched off in a giddy fashion.

Once he'd gone, Tak and Dib exchanged a silent stare. Fortunately, Zim had been so distracted by his "gift", he didn't even notice the huge monitors still displaying the de-terraformation machine. Tak supposed her memory lapse was a blessing in disguise...

She switched all the screens off and left the thoroughly confused Dib alone in the dark. He was at least grateful to not be drowning in lava, just as Zim grateful he'd get to do horrible things to him later, and Tak was grateful to have her partner back.


(A/N: DOOONE! ^^ Y'know, upon rereading a couple previous chapters, they actually weren't as embarrassing as I feared. Anything from over 2 years ago, though *shudders*
As always, please review, fave, follow and check out my profile for more! Until next time!)