.
Son Ranma
Written By: Tellemicus Sundance
Co-Authored by: Fiori75
#14: The Rampaging Cabbage, Part 1
October 29, Age 762
Southern Wastelands
With a grin upon his face, Nappa stepped forward. "My turn, huh? So, how many of you are going to attack me at once?"
"Quite confident in yourself, aren't you, young man?" Cologne shot back, meeting his grin challengingly.
"Alright, listen up!" Vegeta called out before Nappa could form a rebuke to the lady. "Only four of you are allowed to fight him at once."
"Don't worry, guys, we'll handle this," Tien stated, giving the large Saiyan a deadly glare. Chiaotzu quickly joined him, hovering at his side with a focused expression of his own. Stepping forward and smacking his fist into his palm, Ryoga grinned as his battle lust started surging through him. His excitement and yearning for a good fight had been steadily rising throughout all of the matches and he just couldn't stand aside and watch anymore! Although, he did give Akane a slightly worried glance as she stepped up beside him and joined the trio of fighters.
"Do you think you can handle this, Akane?" Ryoga asked quietly. But he quickly flinched back at the shadowed glare she shot at him. 'Yeah, she's up for this.' He could feel her strength. But he was still worried for her. Because even with this newfound strength, Nappa was still too much for her.
"Enough talk!" Nappa yelled as he charged forward. All four fighters quickly shot apart in different directions. Landing in a guarded position in the center of them, Nappa grinned evilly at them. "So, you four are my opponents, huh? This is gonna be fun! Especially yoooou!" he pointed at Ryoga. "I'm looking forward to what these Earth Saiyans can do!"
With another yell, he suddenly spun and charged at Tien shouting, "But let's clear away the chaff first!" His arm cocked out and slammed into Tien's throat and upper torso in a lariat. The triclops had been caught off guard. For all that he'd been expecting a battle, he'd honestly expected his opponent to follow through with his words and attack Ryoga first. He'd been prepared to dash forward to attack Nappa's flank, not protect himself from an attack.
As Tien went flying back into the distance, Nappa was already spinning to face off against Akane. But before he had a chance to lunge, a bright blue aura suddenly surrounded his body. "Wh-What is this?!" Nappa roared as he realized that his body was frozen in place. It took just a moment before he recognized the type of energy attacking him. 'There are psychics on this world too?! What the heck kind of world is this? Psychics, Namekians, Saiyan colony! Next thing they'll tell me is that there's fucking magic on this world!'
That was as far as his silent contemplations could go before he was distracted by twin cries of exertion. He looked up to see Ryoga and Akane both firing powerful ki blasts at him. Ryoga's blasts were…familiar, considering they looked and felt like Raditz's on impact. It was the girl's however that were interesting. Ki attacks usually punched. They were physically blunt attacks. Sure, they occasionally exploded but they were still blunt force attacks. Occasionally, they pierced, like Freeza's death beams being the most well-known. This girl's attack, however, it burned! The ki was hot. It was in his face. And IT WAS BLINDING HIM! "GRAAHHH! YOU BITCH!"
After feeling the psychic energy around him dissipate during the attacks, he immediately charged forward towards where he'd seen the girl last. Of course, it was too much to hope that she'd stay still and let him punch her. But he was somewhat surprised when he did feel some physical resistance. A fist hit him in the solar plexus with the force of a battering ram. Nappa decided to respond back with the force of a wrecking ball. He noticed that he'd impacted someone but they didn't go flying back like they should've.
It was in those moments as he was waiting for the lingering burning sensation to fade that he realized he might actually have been brawling with the Saiyan instead. But that thought quickly ended when something new happened. The bitch set his tail on fire! It was…new. He could deal with these weaklings trying to grab his tail. None of them could possibly squeeze it as hard as Vegeta could in his rage. He might be in trouble if Raditz got a hold of his tail. He was slightly stronger now, but not too much of a threat. Blunt force trauma to his tail was something he was familiar with. But fire wasn't. It attacked a completely different set of nerves that he'd never had to deal with before. Worse, the longer it burned, the more of his tail caught fire! She'd only been able put the front half of his tail on fire, the portion around his waist. But the longer it burned, the more of it caught and the deeper into his fur it burned. Before long it'd be all over for his tail and it would be agonizing.
Nappa made a choice then. Better three seconds of discomfort than three minutes of agony. Simultaneously jumping back from his opponents, he reached back and grabbed his tail by the base and pulled. To his credit, Nappa didn't make a sound of pain as he grimly pulled his tail off. As the lingering flames finally cleared from his eyes, he glared over at the girl. Dark blue hair, blue eyes, and an angry but smirking visage as she watched the culmination of her efforts. "Your name, girl?"
At first, she expressed confusion. "What?"
"Your name!" Nappa snapped back, his face cold and grim. "Tell me your name!"
"Tendo Akane," she replied. "Why do you wanna know?"
"Because five minutes from now," Nappa stated with absolute certainty in his voice. "I'm gonna respect you. But now? I'm just gonna punch ya til ya die."
Just as he finished saying that, a fist suddenly buried into his spleen. And this fist was far larger and hit much harder. Nappa slid a short distance across the ground, cradling slightly as he glared over at the perpetrator. Predictably, it was Ryoga. "You'll have to go through me first!"
"If that's what it takes!" Nappa roared back as he turned and prepared to charge for his fellow Saiyan, fist cocked back. "Before we get started, what's your name, Saiyan? I'm Nappa."
"My name's Hibiki Ryoga!" Ryoga answered heatedly. "And you won't let a hand on Akane!"
"Oh really?" Nappa asked, a savage grin lighting up his face. "Make me!" With a loud cry, he charged forward at his best speed.
With a roar of his own, Ryoga rushed forward to meet Nappa head on. In a clash of displaced air, both Saiyans collided with one another, catching the other's attacking fist with their own. For a moment, the two of them stood firm, pressing against one another in a bout of raw physical strength. Nappa definitely had the size over Ryoga, but the smaller Saiyan wasn't budging an inch as both their arms shook from the effort they were making to overpower the other. Then, Ryoga suddenly broke off, jumping and spinning a strong kick for Nappa's face. The bulky Saiyan showed remarkable speed and dexterity by being able to dodge under the sweeping kick. He instantly lunged forward with an uppercut for Ryoga's back. However, Ryoga was continuing his spinning attack. As his attacking leg descended back to the ground, his other leg came up in a sweep of its own that could've also been an attack. However, that leg managed to catch Nappa's rising uppercut and knocked it to the side, knocking him slightly off balance as Ryoga landed heavily upon the ground.
This moment of attack, defense, counter, counter-counter continued as such for several long minutes. It was just long enough for Nappa to get a good bead on this Saiyan's fighting style. He figured he had the kid's number by this point. So, he decided to try and change things up. Any minute now, the kid would come charging forward with another attack. And true to form, the kid did with a large right straight. It was aimed to break through his guard and punch his chest, no doubt. 'So, why not let it?' he thought to himself with savage grin.
Just as he expected, the right straight came barreling in. But this time, Nappa purposely didn't move his arms quite fast enough to fully block the blow. The punch penetrated through his guard and was instantly heading for his chest. But just as the punch was set to land, Nappa bounced backwards slightly. This minor movement was more than enough to cause what could've been a very painful blow to be much more bearable. And the force of the blow allowed him to disengage more easily. As he was flying backwards, he quickly gathered a massive amount of ki in his hand. With a loud cry, he hurled it at the still-charging Ryoga. The blast struck the kid full on in the chest and ignited in a powerful explosion. Enough of an explosion that it would've given most others pause for concern for the kid's wellbeing.
Nappa expected several things to occur though. He'd expected the kid to at least try to avoid the energy's path. Failing that, he'd expected to see a look of surprise on the kid's face. Not steely determination as he tanked a massive amount of ki to the face. Nappa was expecting to see the smoking corpse of the kid on the ground after the smoke had cleared. But he was never given the chance to fully relax as charging out of the smoke at high speed came Ryoga. His gi top was blown apart, leaving him bare-chested with minor burns but he was otherwise still fighting fit. Nappa only had enough time to gawk in surprise before Ryoga's cocked fist landed in his gut, sending him flying backwards uncontrollably this time.
"Ryoga, stay back!" Chiaotzu yelled from the side as his body started glowing again in preparation for another psychic attack.
"No!" Ryoga yelled back as he started rushing forward again. "I'm having too much fun!"
"Ryoga!" Akane yelled out in frustration, her face visibly darkening. This was exactly what she'd been kind of afraid of. Saiyans wagering the fate of the fucking planet on death matches! She expected it from Goku, in the future from Vegeta, maybe even from Ranma considering how much like a Saiyan he actually was. She hadn't expected to deal with the problem from her boyfriend!
For perhaps the first real time in several years, Ryoga completely ignored Akane's yell. He rushed for Nappa with a wide grin on his face, fists cocked back for the resumption of the fight. Akane could only stand in shocked horror at seeing Ryoga ignore her so blatantly for several long moments. But then her temper started to rise. As stated, she'd been expecting to deal with Saiyan shit from the actual Saiyans. She hadn't thought that her boyfriend could be so stupid! She knew he was a fight-happy, stubborn idiot but this wasn't the time! This was four on one! They had numbers! They could win if they actually fought smart! And if they won, then less people would've died. And she thought that her boyfriend would've understood that! He was from Nerima! There was tons of times where they'd teamed up to fight a stronger foe! HOW WAS THIS ANY DIFFERENT! This was the FATE OF THE WORLD! Not a grudge match against a hated rival! But trust a fucking Saiyan to confuse the two!
Her rage boiling well past the safety limit, Akane finally lashed out. She leapt into the air as a massive hammer engulfed in flames formed in her grip. "RYOGA! YOU JERK!"
That was all the warning that the two brawling Saiyans had to look upwards and see the flaming end of the mallet as it came descending down upon them both at very impressive speeds.
"Oh shit," Ryoga uttered in horror, realizing far too late the danger.
"What's that?" Nappa asked in a blissful ignorance that ended soon after.
KKRRMMMSSHHHHHH! The massive mallet slammed into both of them with quite literal earthshaking force.
Off to the side, Vegeta couldn't help quirking an eyebrow as he literally felt the impact vibrating through the earth. After the din of impact settled, Vegeta turned towards Cologne and asked, "Woman, are you sure she's not a Saiyan?"
"She is not part of my tribe," Cologne answered adroitly, relishing in Vegeta's visibly deepening confusion. Not part of her 'tribe'? Just how large was the Saiyan presence on this planet?!
Meanwhile, in the impact crater, Nappa just lay where he landed near Ryoga. Neither of them truly was hurt from the blow that Akane had just delivered to them, it was more the shock of it happening that left them laid out afterwards. In his mind was a massive conflict of interest. On one hand, this woman was beautiful, aggressive, violent, completely willing to attack an ally to get to her enemy, and altogether she was powerful in her own right. Their children would've been beautiful by Saiyan standards! But on the other hand, she'd desecrated his tail. So, he really, really, really, really, REALLY needed to kill her! This would be a bittersweet memory.
"Killing her is going to be the hardest thing I've ever enjoyed," he mumbled quietly to himself.
"What the fuck does that mean?!" Ryoga demanded hotly from nearby, taking offense for his girlfriend's sake.
"She's perfect by Saiyan standards!" Nappa hissed back. "You know that! Unfortunately, she ripped my tail off. So, I gotta kill her for that."
"You're not killing my girlfriend!"
"Oh, so, she's…taken then?" Nappa asked, lifting his head to look at Ryoga's seething expression. "That makes killing her…easier?" Despite his anger, Ryoga did pick up on Nappa's regretful and questioning tone.
Nappa quickly jumped back to his feet, Ryoga following soon after, and turned to glare at Akane's still-seething form. Just as Nappa was about to call out to the girl, he felt a small impact on the back of his armor. "Wh-What the? What's that?"
"I got him, Tien!" a small voice cried out from behind him. It was Chiaotzu on his back! "Get ready!"
"Get ready for what?!" Ryoga demanded.
"KIKOHO!" Tien yelled from above.
Nappa and Ryoga both looked skywards to see a massive pillar of golden light descending upon them. Ryoga instantly leapt for safety and Nappa tried to follow him. But all he managed to do was turn his body to more fully face the blast. He noticed too late that the little psychic was controlling his body again.
"DAMN YOU!" he yelled just as the blast crashed into him.
The blast slammed into Nappa full force. But it didn't hurt him nearly as much as he'd expected. Honestly, the blasts from Akane and Ryoga were much more painful. Huh, apparently, the triclops really was the chaff since the littlest bugger was doing something more useful by being able to actually restrain him. If they'd coordinated that blast with Ryoga, this attack might've actually been more effective. Still, he didn't need to advertise that to the chaff just yet. Instead, he decided to play with his prey. After the blast died down, he went limp, dropping to his knees, and slumped forward towards the ground slightly. He could feel the psychic aura around him fade as the little bugger on his back loosened his grip, figuratively and literally. Just as Nappa needed.
With a savage grin, he suddenly spun around. With his grip weakened, Chiaotzu was unable to prevent the large Saiyan was turning and getting a hold of him. Crying out in fear, Chiaotzu could do nothing as Nappa continued his spin and hurled him bodily up into the air. He briefly heard Tien cry out his name just before a powerful impact struck him head on, followed by Tien's much closer voice groaning in pain. Opening his eyes, Chiaotzu realized he'd been thrown into his friend.
"HAAA!" Nappa yelled as he launched a massive ki beam straight at the duo. They were unable to do anything more than scream before the beam struck and exploded spectacularly. Once the smoke cleared, there was no bodies left to fall to the earth. Both of them had been disintegrated.
Akane lets out a cry of fury as she rushes forward to engage Nappa, Ryoga close on her heels. Turning, Nappa catches Akane's fist and jerks her to the side, intercepting Ryoga's charge and causing the other Saiyan to jump back to avoid hitting his girlfriend. As Akane stumbled to get her footing, Nappa snapped out a kick to her side, sending her crashing into Ryoga. "Here's a teaching moment for you, kid. The real reason Saiyans fight alone. Sure, maybe in theory, a pack of weaklings can take out a big threat like me. But in practice, you all just trip over each other. And then you die! HAAA!"
Nappa finished his lecture by snapping his hands out and blasting a massive wave of ki towards the fast-recovering duo. Akane saw what was coming more quickly than Ryoga and instinct took over. She grabbed Ryoga by the back of his gi and shoved with all her might, sending him bouncing across the landscape before she or anyone could fully comprehend what she'd just done. By that time, all she could do was just stare into the blinding glare of the ki attack as it engulfed her. A look of resigned acceptance written across her face before she vanished from sight. There was no scream from Akane as she disappeared into the flare.
Silence settled across the battlefield as the explosion died down and the smoke and dust slowly cleared. As it did, a charred figure became visible, lying on the ground motionless. Dead.
"AKANE!" Ryoga screamed as he finally caught sight of her lifeless body.
"Ahhhh," Nappa heavily sighed. "I really wish I didn't have to kill her. But when you step out into the battlefield, things like gender and physical attraction stop mattering so much."
"YOU BASTARD!" Ryoga yelled as he leapt forward to attack in a blind rage.
"The hell you screaming about, kid?" Nappa asked casually as he watched Ryoga charge. "I gave her a respectful death." Before Ryoga could answer, Nappa had already dodged his mindless punch and buried his own fist in Ryoga's stomach. "She stepped out onto the battlefield. She knew the risks. So, why are you disrespecting her?"
"BECAUSE—YOU KILL—ED HER!" Ryoga gasped out around his gagging after Nappa extracted his hand and stepped back.
"Of course I did," Nappa said in slight confusion. "It would've been rude if I held back."
As this was going on, the other fighters present were getting anxious. Shampoo, Cologne, Piccolo, and Raditz all shared glances at one another. All of them were trying to nonverbally ask one another if it was the right time to jump in and help their companion.
"If you're thinking about interfering with this fight," Vegeta called over. "I would advise against that. I'll kill anyone who tries!"
In his mind, Mousse was actually strongly considering risking the threat of death. Ryoga had been an occasional companion of his back in Nerima. It was not a close bond, but it was one of mutual antagonistic hatred towards a shared foe, which more often than not pitted them one on one against Saotome. They'd had each other's backs as frequently as they'd fought against one another. That was the essence of what it had meant to be one of the Nerima Wrecking Crew. And, right now, one of them was mad with grief over the loss of a loved one and he was going to get himself killed. But at the same time, this Prince of Saiyans that stood against them seemed like a truly unparalleled foe that could happily and instantly carry out his threat. So, Mousse's sense of self-preservation was in conflict with his sense of camaraderie.
Before a decision could be made by the Amazon warrior, a loud shout from Ryoga caught his attention. Ryoga had leapt a few paces back with his arms back as he charged a powerful pair of golden ki blasts in his palms. "DOUBLE SUNDAY!"
"Raditz's move?" Nappa said to himself as he let the blast consume him. Before the explosion even had a chance to die down, the big Saiyan was already charging out of the smoke and landed a powerful right straight into the exhausted and drained Ryoga. "Sorry, kid." Nappa said softly as he watched Ryoga slip unconscious off his fist and fall at his feet. "She really was one hell of a woman."
"A good effort but a wasted one." Vegeta stated with a snide grin on his face. "A pity about his mate. But an obvious conclusion when trying to breed out of the species."
Nappa shot one last look of sympathy towards Ryoga before he leaned and looked closely at him, "Still alive, kid?"
"Uggghhh," Ryoga groaned out in his unconscious state.
"Well, would you look at that, Vegeta! He's still breathing!"
"Hm, maybe he is a Saiyan," Vegeta muttered quietly to himself.
After seeing Ryoga now was still alive, Nappa casual dug his foot under the younger man's body and kicked him towards the Dragon Team again. As Ryoga's body came to a sliding halt before them, Ukyo rushed up to Ryoga, pulling him aside and trying to use her ki to heal him. The sight of the strange ki aura that surrounded Ryoga at that moment caught Vegeta and Nappa surprise. It took only a moment before they realized just what the woman was doing. The sight of one of the bruises fading had easily clued them into what was happening.
"Very clever," Vegeta mumbled to himself as he shot a new, appraising look at the group. It was always smart to bring some form of first aid to the battlefield. But healing pods took time and were difficult to transport. This was something new. Immediate trauma treatment through the application of energy. It would be a very useful trick to pick up, especially if it could be self-applied. Ohhh, the power gains he could get from such techniques!
But as Vegeta was contemplating the merits of healing, Cologne had stepped forward. With an eyebrow quirked, she asked, "You're not going to kill him?"
"Why would I kill him?" Nappa asked in honest confusion. "He survived. You should know that. You're a Saiyan too, right?"
"Indeed," Cologne said in a dismissive tone. "But where I'm from, we generally don't leave enemies alive."
"Grannie!" Chichi hissed out in a harsh whisper that conveyed anger. "Don't encourage the bloodthirsty marauder!"
"Bloodthirsty?" Nappa asked in bemusement. "I'm not trying to kill any of you… Well, okay, I was trying to kill Akane, but that was on principle. The other two were just too weak to survive. They couldn't even take a halfhearted, no-name energy blast. If they'd have survived, I'd have let them."
"I wouldn't have," Vegeta piped up in a menacing tone. His sudden insertion to the conversation drew everyone's attention. Which suited him just fine as he turned his attention to Raditz. "Raditz, if you kill the Namekian and the bald man, bring the women and the whelps over here, I will consider forgetting this little rebellion."
"Forget it, Vegeta! I know you! You're gonna kill me regardless of anything I do now!"
"Hohohoho! What with your recent attempts at assisted suicide, I'd almost forgotten the low-class warrior has a brain! After all, this is easily the stupidest thing you've ever done. Did you think you could actually win? What even happens once one of you actually beats Nappa?"
"IF! Vegeta!" Nappa cut in angrily.
"Yes," Vegeta corrected. "When one of you manages to wear him down enough to win and maybe fight me. You do realize that I'm three times as powerful as Nappa."
"We'll destroy that bridge when we get to it," Piccolo called out with a fierce glare.
"Mr. Piccolo," Gohan quietly uttered. "I think you messed up that saying. It's supposed to be—"
"I know what I said, Runt," Piccolo interrupted with an annoyed grimace.
"Neeerd," Nappa muttered quietly.
"Shut up!" Hayato yelled as he and Kouma suddenly rushed forward. "No one gets to talk about Runt like that but us!"
"Guys!" Gohan whined as he raced after them.
"Gohan/Hayato/Kouma!" the three mothers all yelled simultaneously as their children engaged the monstrous brute.
"Well-well-well, the whelps want a whalloping!" Nappa sang out as he cockily cracked his knuckles, not even assuming a stance. "You three know that I'm not going to be holding back, right?"
"Of course not!" Kouma shot back as they neared him. "You're mean but not rude!"
"Hohoho!" Nappa chuckled as he crouched down and caught Kouma's approaching kick. "You three think you're warrior caste already, eh?"
"We don't think!" Hayato yelled as he dropped down from overhead, hands raised over his head. "We know!"
Nappa just grinned as he idly raised his elbow that was also holding Kouma in place, taking the blow from Hayato double-hammer attack. "You got spunk, kids. But come back after you've murdered a world or two!"
"How about if we save a world or two?" Gohan cried out from behind Nappa, his hands cupped on his forehead charging Masenko. "Starting with this one! Masenko!"
The golden beam crashed into Nappa's exposed back with a thunderous boom. The impact and surprise caused him to release his grip on Kouma and let Hayato retreat from his failed attack. Stumbling forward, Nappa bit back a minor grimace of pain. Despite the armor taking the blast, that force of it was still considerable.
"Dammit, how strong as these brats?" he muttered as he reached up to click on his scouter. Turning, he managed to catch Kouma's punch. For just a split second, he held onto the boy's fist as his scouter calculated. '3,200?!' Just as Kouma was reaching out to launch a pointblank blast in his face, Nappa spun to the side and threw the boy towards Gohan. 'Kid's midclass and hasn't even reached his first growth spurt! He'll be a high-class by the time he's full grown. Hell, maybe even an elite!'
Simply by the merit of him facing that direction, Nappa's next reading was on Gohan as he struggled to regain his footing and pry himself away form the also-struggling Kouma. '3,300? Why's he stronger than the cocky one?'
"Don't ignore me!" Hayato yells as he attacked Nappa's back. Those seemed to work after all. However, in this case, Nappa somehow managed to duck under his flying kick. And due to the angle, he had ensured that the third boy had accidentally managed to land in among his troupe. His sudden arrival caused Gohan and Kouma to once again land in a tangle of limbs, causing the big brute to start chuckling at his handiwork.
'Annnd, 3,100,' Nappa read with a frown on his face. 'Why is the nerd the strongest of them?' He couldn't resist reaching to scratch his bald head in contemplation. "As I told the last group, trying to team up might seem like a good idea. But all you do is trip over yourselves."
The boys were able to somehow find their footing a bit quicker this time. Nappa just shot them an indulgent grin as he settled into a wide stance. "Ready for Round 2?"
Suddenly a pair of strong green arms entered his field of vision. Before he had a chance to react, he found himself pinned in a Full Nelson once again. "Oh, we're more than ready," the Namekian hissed in his ear. "The question is: are you?"
"What the?" Nappa cried out in surprise before glaring over at Vegeta. "Vegeta! Why did you let the Namekian join in?!"
"It's groups of four versus you," Vegeta answered blandly, clearly unconcerned with Nappa's plight. "Remember, Nappa?"
"That was with the other group!" Nappa shot back.
"I don't remember changing the rules," Vegeta countered. Then a smirk crossed his face as he said, "You better pay attention though."
Nappa was about to question what he meant when he heard one voice say the dreaded words, "Get him!"
He only had time to look back towards the boys as they all rushed him together. Kouma and Hayato leapt up and launched the most powerful straights they could towards both sides of his collar bones. Nappa could only brace himself as their blows landed. Thankfully, while painful, they weren't debilitating. The third blow, however… The nerd also apparently decided that cheap shots were fair game. While the other two had gone high, he stayed low, hidden in the shadows of their bodies. His blow landed right on Nappa's genitals. The blow landed with such force that Nappa felt himself throw up slightly. There was actual bile in his mouth. His eyes had widened incredibly as his body froze up momentarily. In that split moment of recoil, the three boys bounced back and away.
Off to the side, Raditz couldn't help but wince in sympathy for his old compatriot. And he silently thanked every Kaio, God of Destruction, and Angel in existence that the three of them didn't have that level of coordination when he had been in that exact situation a year ago. He probably would've died then.
For several long moments, Piccolo's unyielding grip on Nappa was the only reason the big Saiyan didn't collapse face-first into a ball on the dirt. "Yoooouuuu…! Yooouuuu…fuuuuckiiiiing…braaaaats!"
The three boys just stared at the slightly crippled Nappa. Then Kouma turned towards Gohan with an aghast look on his face. "You cheated."
"We were supposed to go for the crotch together!" Hayato added, sending a pout towards his cousin.
"B-But you two had his chest already!" Gohan pointed out.
"Yeah, and you were supposed to go for the solar…thingy," Kouma said.
"It's solar plexus," Gohan corrected helpfully.
"Nerd," both brothers uttered together.
It was at this moment that loud growling became audible from Nappa. "You…You think you BRATS ARE FUNNY?!"
The three boys looked at each other in a moment of silent conversation. Then all three turned to face Nappa and said, "Oh, we're hilarious!"
A massive surge of power and aura erupted out of Nappa, nearly freeing him from Piccolo's grip. "You aren't anything! YOU'RE DEAD! RAAAARRGGHH!"
A massive golden beam of ki shot out of Nappa's mouth towards the boys. All three recoiled in honest surprise at seeing him able to still attack and from the sheer potency of the attack. All of them knew that they couldn't stop this beam, even together. But just as the beam was nearly upon them, a large, bulky, and hairy figure suddenly appeared before them. The blast erupted into a loud explosion of sound as Raditz held it at bay with his bare hands. Muscles straining, Raditz let out a might roar of his own as he slowly but surely began to compress and compact the energy beam into a smaller and smaller ball. Then, with an mighty shout, he exerted all his strength and crushed the ball into little harmless sparks.
Doing his best to not show the heaviness of his breath, Raditz threw back his head and started laughing hysterically and loudly. As the smoke and debris clear, Raditz laughed out even more as he spotted Nappa and Vegeta's surprised expressions. "HAHAHA! Is that the best you can do, Nappa?!" Though he'd spoken in teasing mockery and jubilant joy, internally Raditz was sweating heavily while thinking, 'Oh, thank Sadala that worked! But, I gotta thank Ryoga for the Breaking Point training. I am not dead! That means I can win.'
In a fit of confusion, Nappa reached up around Piccolo's arm and tapped his scouter because he couldn't comprehend how and why Raditz was still alive after a blast that big. "4,800! Impossible! But you're just a low-class! How the hell did you get so strong?!"
Raditz smirked arrogantly as he says, "Pushups, sit-ups, and plenty of juice."
"You! You're mocking me!"
"Real easy to do after you just got punched in the dick by a toddler."
Roaring in fury, Nappa tries to charge forward. However, Piccolo still held him captive. Smugness was thick in his voice as he snidely asked, "Did you forget that I'm still here?"
Nappa glares back at Piccolo as his scouter picks his level. "You too?! 4,700?! What do they feed you people on this planet? You only have 1g gravity! HOW THE HELL ARE YOU ALL SO STRONG?!"
Meanwhile, Kouma was charging up a blast while Hayato was continuing to send a pouting glare at Gohan. Gohan was blushing uncontrollably in embarrassment, especially when he noticed Nappa's angry stare. "I'm—I'm sorry about that, Mr. Nappa! But they taught me to go for the sweet spots when fighting a bigger opponent."
"Sweet spots?" Nappa repeated, a look of bafflement on his face.
"Well, you'd already ripped off your tail and it was the next most sensitive thing on your body," Gohan explained.
Nappa, Piccolo, and Raditz all just stared at Gohan.
"And it's at eye level, so it was really easy to aim for," Gohan continued. "And—"
Hayato sighed loudly as he covers Gohan's mouth, "Gohan, stop."
"HAAAA!" Kouma yells as he suddenly launches his ki blast at the distracted Saiyan. Piccolo tries to jump away as the blast closes in. But Nappa suddenly jerked his arms down and pinned the Namekian's arms under his own. Then he twisted to the side and let Kouma's blast hit Piccolo instead. Piccolo yelled in pain as his back was scorched. Nappa temporarily released Piccolo, only to grab his wrists, twisting and kicking him in the stomach. The Namekian's body went flying but his arms remained in Nappa's grasp.
'I'll save these for later,' Nappa thought to himself as he dropped the meat to the ground. With a battle-hungry grin on his face, Nappa turned towards Raditz. "I'm gonna have fun reminding you of your place, low-class."
"If you've got what it takes, high-class!" Raditz shot back.
(Tellemicus's Note) It's baaaaaack! It's aliiiiiiive! Man, I had a lot of fun writing this with Fiori75! And I hope all of you will have enjoyed reading it! I can promise that the next chapter is going to be even more fun and funny! Hopefully, it won't take nearly as long to post as this one did. And be sure to check out our new omake down below! I had a serious blast writing that one up! You can thank Fiori75 for thinking that one up!
(Fiori75's Note) Originally, we were going to make this one big chapter. But going forward, we'd realized that would've been monstrous. Plus, this has already sat for long enough and we figured that we should already give you guys some content. So, tell us how you enjoyed this chapter. Did you enjoy the fights? Did you enjoy Nappa in this? We're trying to make the Saiyans basically space Vikings. Did we succeed? That's all for now. See you in the next chapter. That's where family reunions will occur.
And one last thing: Honey, I'm Just Saiyan…
Omake: True Stories of History
How Ryoga Told Akane How He was a Saiyan
April 18, Age 758
Ryoga had been putting off calling Akane long enough. Sure, for the most part, he had the decent excuse of not having service to be able to call her. For all that this world was technologically more advanced than his Earth, it had much shittier cellphone coverage. Hell, most of the phones he found in this world were complete landlines! But now he had finally reached a semi-serviceable area. Of course, he had still kind of put off calling her on account of being starving after all.
But these past few days have been rather weird, which he assumed meant that Ranma had indeed made his wish. Which he supposed explained why he'd eaten that entire T-Rex. All of it. Really. Usually when he'd kill a T-Rex, he'd just eat a few choice pieces of it and turned the rest of the tasty parts into jerky for later. Today, however, he'd just eaten the entire thing. He'd even sucked the very marrow from the bones. And he was still hungry!
Thinking back on it, it was rather disturbing. He didn't remember if he'd actually cooked it that much. He remembered that there's been a fire. Plus, he'd always had to make a bonfire for whenever he'd cooked a large dinosaur. But this one had been just a regular campfire!
"Enough of that thought!" Ryoga scolded himself, forcefully shaking the random and somewhat unsettling memories from his mind. He was here for a reason. He needed to call Akane. He'd promised. He was a good boyfriend like that. He would not get jealous that she had made him promise to call her when he finally found Ranma. After all, Ranma was now with Ukyo…Shampoo…both? He wasn't sure. He just knew that Ranma was not with Akane! That means that his relationship with her was not under threat. He could totally tell his girlfriend about her ex and not be worried.
Totally!
…Yeah, he was scared.
Still, he had promised.
The phone had begun to ring. After less than two rings, it clicked and the voice of his angel filtered through. "Ryoga? You called! Where are you? It's been two months!"
"Yeah, sorry!" Ryoga said softly. "I forget how big this place is sometimes."
"Well, at least you're calling when you can," Akane acknowledged endearingly.
"Yeah, about that," Ryoga said with a slightly heavy voice. "I've got s-something to tell you. Something I'd promised I'd tell you about whenever I ran into it."
"You found one of the Dragon Balls?" Akane asked excitedly.
"No," Ryoga said bluntly.
"You accidentally ran into Piccolo?" Akane guessed again.
"Uhh, you mean the Demon King guy, right?" Ryoga asked carefully.
"Okay, that's a no," Akane said in a relieved voice. "Oh-oh! Are you calling from Kame House?"
"The place with the turtle? I can't get reception from there. It's out in the ocean after all."
"You could've just asked Master Roshi to use his phone!"
"Wait, you know Master Roshi?"
"Not important, Ryoga!" Akane deflected in a slightly nervous voice. "You're calling about something important?"
"Yeah, I…ran into…Ranma," he said in a heavy voice. "Also, I think I'm a Saiyan now. You told me that those were important. Ranma and Saiyans."
"You found Ranma?!" Akane yelled in excitement. "Where is—wait, Saiyans? What do you mean you are a Saiyan? Did I hear that right? You are a Saiyan?!"
"Yes," Ryoga answered simply.
"Bloodthirsty, space Vikings who grow stronger with every injury they recover from, that murder-hoboed their way across the stars before being wiped out. Those Saiyans?" Akane asked in a disturbingly familiar low and dangerous voice. "You're saying you're one of those Saiyans now? …How? And, wait, what does Ranma have to do with you being a Saiyan? Why would you even lead with Ranma before telling you're a Saiyan?"
"Well, it sorta went like this," Ryoga began. "I found Ranma and he told me about his quest for the Dragon Balls."
"He wanted to lift his curse," Akane guessed.
"No, he already did that," Ryoga said. "It's also why I lost my curse."
"Okay, that makes sen—wait, you were cursed?!"
"Uhhh, not important!" Ryoga said, thick beads of sweat forming on his brow. "Anyway, he told me he wanted to be a Saiyan. Then he mentioned that I should become one too. Then he told me what they could do, and I agreed."
"Okkaaaay," Akane said slowly. "But why does this make you think you're a Saiyan now? Did you grow a tail?"
"No, but I did kinda eat a whole T-Rex…possibly while only partially cooked."
"…What?"
"Even the bone marrow," Ryoga continued. He knew he was rambling. But he was sensing the building storm and wished to delay it as long as possible. "Also, I'm still kind of hungry. Annnnd I think I see some things in the distance that might be food. Or will be soon!"
"Ryoga," Akane said in a slow, dark, dangerous voice. "If you hang up that phone, we will never have sex again."
Ryoga paused for a very brief moment, honestly contemplating the merits of both paths that lay before him. On one side, sex with Akane was amazing on a spiritual level that had helped him find religion in worship of Akane's body. On the other side, he knew on a deeply primal and basic level that he was about to endure the single worst tongue-lashing that he was ever going to experience in all of his existence. For once, he wasn't so joyously euphoric about being in Ranma's position as Akane's boyfriend because of Akane's temper. Now that he was the emotional other half of her, he'd come to realize he had to deal with her temper as well as her affection.
Before he could truly make up his mind on the choices before him, Akane spoke up again, "So, let me get this straight. You and Ranma are Saiyans now."
"Not just us," Ryoga cut in with a somewhat feeble attempt at dodging blame. "He was also talking about making Shampoo and Cologne Saiyans too."
"…Ryoga, tell me there is no one else as a Saiyan," Akane said. "You did not also make Chichi and Bulma into Saiyans too, right?"
"Who are those people?" Ryoga asked.
"Ryoga, is anyone else a Saiyan?"
"I don't know!" He was starting to panic now. "I didn't make the wish! Ranma did! He only talked about making himself, Shampoo, Cologne, and me into Saiyans!" His voice starting to crack and tremble as his panic started rising. "He said something about making himself to be Goku's real brother! And he offered it to me and I said 'yes' because it sounded cool! Please don't be mad!" He was literally on his knees begging as he gripped the phone to his ear now.
"Four more," Akane whispered lowly. "There are four more Saiyans now… Ryoga, I love you. But you just made my life infinitely more complicated."
"Does this mean that I'm sleeping on the couch next time I'm in West City?" he asked with a knowing tone.
"No, Ryoga," Akane said simply. "We don't have the funds to feed a Saiyan. You won't be sleeping on the couch. You won't even be sleeping in the dojo. You're sleeping in the park. In fact, you can even put that Saiyan appetite to good use and cure West City of its raccoon infestation. Also, if you want to even sleep in the house, you will tell what Jusenkyo curse you had. I have not forgotten about that part, dear."
Ryoga was sweating uncontrollably. He couldn't lie to Akane. She would know instantly, he knew. "…So…Uh…What parks are available in West City near the dojo?"
Power Levels:
Vegeta (age 29): 18,000
Kui (age 23): 18,000
Nappa (age 50): 5,000
Goku (age 25): 10,000
Ranma (age 22): 10,000
Raditz (age 31): 4,800
Ryoga (age 22) 4,800
Piccolo (age 10): 4,700
Shampoo (age 22): 4,400
Cologne (physical age 41): 4,400
Gohan (age 5): 3,300
Kouma (age 4): 3,250
Hayato (age 4): 3,100
Tien Shinhan (age 29): 2,830
Mousse (age 22): 2,670
Akane (age 22): 2,590
Krillin (age 25): 2,550
Yamcha (age 29): 2,480
Chiaotzu (age 24): 1,900
Yajirobe (age 27): 970
Chichi (age 25): 350
Ukyo (age 22): 320
