Angela's POV:
I stared at the room full of people I know and love. Trying to remain calm and focused as various words and noises flood my senses.
Lena's arms crushed me into a hug, this is real this is real this is real this is real. I could smell Jesse's cigars on her, it's all too vivid. The softness as her lips pressed my temple, her little hair spikes poking just above my eye.
Winston was next, gently holding me and trying not to squeeze too tight.
" it's good to have you back" he exclaimed.
" thank you" I replied. I just want to sit down with everyone, not stand here like a exhibition.
I looked over at Jack, he pushed Jesse over a bit to move, I excused myself and rushed over.
" I love you thank you" I whispered. That felt like forever ago, us bailing each other out of situations. I leaned against him, taking in the smell of leather from his jacket. I am fine, I am surrounded by people I love.
" it's good to have you back" Jesse said with a sincere smile.
I just nodded in thanks, I feel like I keep repeating myself.
" might I have a word later?" Asked Genji as he entered our area of seating. The layout was surprisingly larger than when I first entered the room, but I had no time to absorb the details when I was so overwhelmed. I still am completely overwhelmed but now I can just sit still and take it in as slowly as I want. The couch we were seated on was faced towards the large TV that Hana and Lúcio were still gaming on, attempting to get Junkrat and Hanzo... what? To join them.
I looked back up at my cyborg friend, attempting to find the words. I know he just wants to balance me, I don't think I'm quite ready for that...
" I think she needs some time?" Jack tried to explain, Genji's posture changed to a more combative stance.
" let the lady rest" Jesse mumbled in a kind but joking manner.
" I just want to make sure that—"
" I will it's fine" I stated interrupting him.
Jack's mask pressed near my neck for a moment while he whispered " are you sure?"
I closed my eyes for a second to process, before nodding in slight agreement.
I heard Mei let out a loud laugh with Winston and Ana. Disrupting this stilted conversation. He doesn't have any right to try and get so pushy with me. I know I need to heal, it will be helpful, I'm just overloaded with emotions.
Genji left our group and rejoined his brother, who was now trying his best to learn the controls again.
" well that was awkward" Jesse said breaking the silence. Lena wiggled in between us, pulling my legs onto her lap to make room.
" what was awkward?" She asked but I was focused on my legs, carefully draped over her knees. No braces, no restraints, but anxiety was kicking in. The reality was beginning to fade for a moment. I pushed back with my hands onto Jack's lap, freeing my legs from her, despite no restrictions.
" oy! What-"
But Jack held up a hand in a drop it motion while my hands checked my legs, just pressing on my knees to make sure they were functioning.
I could feel the stares, which only increases my paranoia.
" you are safe" Jack carefully voiced, letting his hand lightly touch my shoulders while he spoke. I leaned back against him, anchoring myself to his breathing patterns and trying to mimic in.
" I need to lie down" I said, getting up and leaving the room as quickly as possible.
'Curious, you finally have things how you want and they aren't going as you thought? Welcoming arms and you just push away? Selfish! They sacrificed for you and look at you... weaker and more pathetic than they are'
Shut up. Please shut up.
'Why? Can't seem to handle this? '
The fumes helped, but I was still shaky. The voice still just one fragile thought away. I can't let it in, I can't give it power. I am being selfish... I could just be bait at this point. Maybe they didn't really want me back?
A light tapping at the door is the last thing I need.
I ignored it, curling onto the ground, tucking my knees to my chest.
The door opened anyways. It always does.
" darling, Genji was trying to talk to you, I understand if you don't want anyone around you right now..." Jack spoke softly.
" I just want you " I whispered back.
He let out a sigh before responding.
" as much as I believe I can help you, he might be able to do a bit more than I can"
" is it because you don't trust me?" I hissed and then laughed at my own insanity.
" I trust you more than anyone, after everything you have been through, I know you haven't been manipulated into anything you don't want to do, you wouldn't fight so much if you were" he reasoned.
All I do is cry, more and more tears fall.
" please just let us help you understand that you aren't a bad person" he whispered.
My hands were gripping my head, I don't want the voice to come back. I can't handle it.
" just let him in then!" I growled.
" I didn't mean to—"
" it's fine! I'm fine!" I lied through my teeth.
The creaking of his boots, the light from the hallway as he let Genji in and let himself out.
" join me" said Genji as he sat next to me, pulling his legs into a meditative pose. I apprehensively mirrored him.
" breathe with me" he asked, the green of his visor was distracting. I keep staring at it, but then he removed it, the light under the door shadowing his face.
" breathe with me" he repeated, carefully he picked up my hand with his bare hand and held it to his neck for a moment.
" focus, and breathe"
I could feel his blood pulsing in his neck. He held his free hand to mine. Sitting in silence and clearing my pressed his forehead against mine, i could feel my blood throbbing in my temples. I went through waves of emotion, my body felt like it was high then low then high again. Each emotion taking a new shift. This wasn't the meditation that saved me while I was captured. This was another level. This was excruciating.
" remember, nobody is too far gone, remember how angry I was? How cruel I was to you? , I didn't deserve your kindness... all you have ever shown is true and pure kindness— no matter what happened. You are still Angela. " he whispered before letting go of my hand. I let out a long and shaky breath.
" get some rest my friend" he added as he reattached his gloves and helmet. The metal hand helped me up and into bed, the faucet ran and he returned with a glass of water, placing it on the nightstand before leaving.
My mind feels numb, like I can only focus on one thing, breathing. Surviving, but this time without worry.
—
Jack's POV :
I had to do it, it was the right choice. Time ticked so slowly. The conversations relating to Talon didn't phase me, I just wanted them quieted incase she could hear.
I watched as Hanzo smacked away Junkrat's attempt to touch his hair. Lena fall asleep in Jesse's arms, Ana scold Farrah, Winston and Mei burst into tears occasionally. This all feels so normal.
Genji returned, crouching next to my seat.
" she's asleep now, I do not find any reason to worry about her, other than psychological. "
" that answered nothing" I grunted.
" allow me to rephrase. She isn't a threat to us, only to herself and anyone that shows aggression towards her. I believe they did try to— there's something there. But it has no power beyond self loathing"
" does she realize what you did?"
" I do not believe so" he answered.
" thank you" I muttered. He shook his head and returned to his brother.
" what did you do?" Grumbled Jesse.
" nothing, just what she used to do, he just used more guided meditation to figure some things out" I replied, feeling guilty. But it wasn't anything she hasn't done before.
" alright..." Jesse answered, but it was easy to read the uneasiness on his face.
" not to be a buzz kill. But what exactly are we doing" Asked Lucio loudly.
" the same thing we have been doing, gathering Intel, preparing for taking them down" Winston states nonchalantly.
" kids" whispers Ana.
" hey" countered Lucio and Hana in unison.
" do we have anything new gathered ?" Asked Hanzo.
" they have been rather quiet. A few arms stolen but that's about it. " answered Farrah.
I have hardly been checking in the past 24 hours, my focus has been on Angela. Their quietness is suspicious, it normally leads into another attack. My phone felt like a brick, News just ran together... all the superficial stories peppered around actual news. I have an alert set up for numerous key words, but nothing noticeable has happened.
" so nobody else knows uh—-" Jesse started to say but then whispered " who you are?"
" No" I answered.
" another question. What's up with him? Isn't there a reward for him?" He asked pointing over at Junkrat.
" isn't there a reward for any of us?" I quipped back.
" fair enough, but—"
" I trust him, Angela needs him right now, don't push it, don't push him" I cut him off. But I could tell something was bothering him.
" what?" I pressed.
" nothing, just feelin' uneasy about everything, but it is late... and I am starving" he grumbled.
" we have plenty of snacks and food in the -" Lucio began to say but Jesse was already sprinting towards the little kitchen area.
I haven't thought about food today, maybe Angela needs something? I got up and joined Jesse in rummaging. The supply of food truly looks as if it was picked by kids, Ana was eyeing it all and shook her head with a little laugh.
" it's alright, I found jerky" Said Jesse as he brandished the meat sticks.
"We can always order something" Said Lucio.
Jesse looked at Ana who looked at me.
" I mean, it's not the safest option" said Ana.
" I could do it" Said Farrah " it's not like anyone in town would know me"
" we do have leftover pizza if anyone wants to check the fridge" Hana said.
" oh yeah, we got that right before 76 and company showed up, should have offered some—- "
" wait to here?" Asked Ana.
" well yeah when I said delivery, i meant delivery...to the front desk. Nobody cares, everyone is paid off it's all good" Lucio defends.
" do whatever" I said abruptly. I just don't have the energy to overthink everything, it's foolish of me.
" did you really just say that?" Asked Jesse as he pried the open a bottle of beer with his buckle.
I shrugged.
" delivery it is! You want anything?" He asked while looking through menus.
" doesn't matter, I'll ask ange if she wants anything" I said, wanting to get away from the commotion about something as mundane as food.
I entered the room to find her routing through a bag.
" need help?" I asked as I removed my mask, and scratching the bridge of my nose for a moment. That thing tends to get itchy after awhile.
" I'm just looking for my uhm. The... " she let out a sigh of annoyance.
I opened the other backpack and handed her the converter.
" that's it" she replied, then kissed my nose.
" better?"
" of course" i replied with a grin as i looked up at her.
I know she's just going through the basics of labs. Probably to see if anything has changed in the past few hours. Watching her draw her own blood into a vial that she shook vigorously before inserting it into the little device.
" I figure if I—- ugh. " she stops and glares at the screen. This is eerily normal, I just leaned against the pillows casually watching her before noticing one of my pistols on the bed.
I quickly moved it over to the nightstand and checked if it was loaded, luckily it isn't.
" what?" She asked.
" I just can't believe I left this out" I answered.
" well it's a big window. You didn't leave it out, I just— I don't know" she answered looking slightly frazzled.
" I wasn't going to use it! I just found it and thought it would be better if it was out" she said.
I know Genji doesn't believe she's changed in that way, but it's rather worrisome to find a gun laying on the bed.
" fuck" she mumbled before injecting more of her nano-solution.
" something wrong?"
" I'm just off schedule with it, it's been years and I—- I'm just off, not good to be off. Not bad. Not good" she let out a sigh and closed the little kit, falling back onto the bed, her hair flaying out around her.
It's so unusual to see it down.
" what?" She asks while looking up at me.
" oh yeah, they are ordering food, did you want anything ?" I asked with a grin.
She flipped onto her stomach and looked up at me.
" cake" she answered.
" cake?" I almost let out a laugh.
" don't mock me! I haven't had—- food, in a long time. "
" oh my god. I'm an idiot. I'm so sorry I should have—" I started to say but she kissed me to stop me from blathering on.
" I wasn't hungry" she said as she pulled away.
" well I am getting you cake then" I said as I started to get up but she straddled me.
" I can't get you anything if you—" I started to say but she was very convincing. Her kiss pulled me in, but I pulled away for a moment.
" hey, more of this, once I tell them what you want"
" fine " she pouted but rolled off.
As soon as I finished telling them I returned to the room.
When we finished, she curled next to me. I know the odd grin probably looks ridiculous. She smiled and kissed my cheek, her lashes brushing against me. We laid in silence for a few minutes.
Normally we can hear people moving around out there, so we were quiet. But now it's almost too quiet.
A knock at the main door echoed. Immediately I put on my clothes, grabbing the pistol on the nightstand.
I pointed at Angela to be quiet, as she redressed.
A commotion in the main area, Lucio was yelling loudly about how he knows nothing. Slowly I opened the door, I could see an Omnic dressed as a delivery man. But everything was all wrong. Goddammit! I'm a fucking idiot.
I carefully pushed open the door to sneak out and take them down. But she rushed by me. Fuck.
A/N: Wow, it's been awhile! and i hope you aren't mad that this took so long. I decided to rewrite a bunch of it because i had a bunch already written during my depressive state, but i really keep looking back on it and hating it, so i wanted to do something decent. I hope you find some joy in this story. Thank you again to those of you who stuck around, i love you.
Thank you to : ChaosDynasty, jfm76, CyborgNinja777, ayumiiishinozakiii, robot584 , L0rdOfThEMemes, Kirabeta and TheMdogs
