A/N: HELLO EVERYONE! If you're wondering what's up with me lately, check the note at the end. Shoutout to HotChocolate329 and Joey Adams for checking in since I dropped off the face of .
Susan
The crowd assembled in Caspian's tent feels rather crowded, but the need for privacy outpasses the desire for comfortable arrangements.
Caspian stands at the back of tent, speaking in a low but authoritative tone. To his right are his most trusted soldier Marcos and a squirrel named Melphistaf. On his left stand a minotaur named Kisak, the chief Narnian leader, and a griffin named Kyran, who dwarfs the rest of us in the cramped tent even hunched down with his wings folded in. The children and I, my son resting on my right and daughter standing by my left, are gathered near the front, with the tent flap securely closed behind us and guarded by two soldiers standing outside.
Caspian is laying out the report his messenger Sandrul brought to him not half an hour earlier, of rumors and misinformation. "I know not what her aims are in spreading this talk, nor when or indeed whether she has any plans of real attack. Whatever her goal, we can be sure it is sinister and must be undermined."
"It seems to me," says the minotaur, in a deep, gruff voice, "that undermining is in fact her goal."
"Yes," chirps the squirrel. "She seeks to sow discontent and break trust with your people, and thereby weaken your rule."
Marcos clears his throat. "Perhaps her army is not so great as we believe, and she aims to take your throne with the backing of the country themselves."
Caspian nods gravely, a strand of his dark hair falling loose from his ponytail into his face. "Our information does support this idea. How, then, do we prevent this?"
The tent is silent for a few minutes.
The squirrel speaks again. "We must strike back swiftly and decisively. Take the offense. Weaken her military standing before she can gather the army of country folk or city dwellers she needs."
Marcos nods his head in agreement, but Kisak looks troubled.
"Besides the fact that we don't know where to strike," he says, "I believe a strategy so cunning as Jadis' must be fought with wits first, not with swords."
"What do you propose?" asks Caspian.
"What is the weapon most effective against gossip, slander, and lies?" The minotaur pauses. "We need to fight with truth."
My son's clear voice pipes in. "Send the spies to tell everyone what's really going on, you mean."
"The boy is correct," says the minotaur, bowing his head once to my son.
Rose adds, "But what will we tell everyone? And how will they believe it?"
The king straightens his posture. "We must remind everyone of the work my court has done to benefit our people, and how improved life in Telmar and Narnia has become since the overthrow of my cruel uncle. Spread word of the plans I have been working to better the troubled situations of our poor farmers especially. As to their belief, I hope that I have been a wise and fair and good king long enough that these reminders of our true nature will seem more believable and logical than the wild stories the witch wants to spread."
"We might," the griffin says, "do well to share the stories that inspire the people's hearts as well, rather than merely their logic."
Caspian nods. "A wise point, Kyran. Jadis' lies are preying on the worst fears of my people. Perhaps reminders of those whom my castle and policies have helped will assuage some of these fears and reinforce hope that conditions will truly continue to improve."
"What about Mum?"
All eyes in the tent turn back to my son. He stands up straighter and explains, "What will we tell everyone about my mum? She's a queen of Narnia, isn't she? Don't the old kings and queens' return bring hope and joy to all true and loyal Narnians? Wouldn't the Telmarines who remember your history be happy to hear another leader is here to help?"
I blink in amazement. With these words, Caspian sounds more like an old Narnian ally than my own son. What was in those books the professor gave him?
"Caspian," I say, "I'm not sure that's the best idea."
I glance up for support from his father and see strange looks from the other leaders pointed at me.
The king clears his throat. "The boy goes by Lewis here, your majesty."
Right. I'd forgotten. "My apologies for the confusion," I reply, my words sounding much more composed than I feel in this moment. I turn back to my son. "Lewis," I amend, the name feeling wrong on my tongue, "I'm not sure we're ready for news of my return to spread just yet."
Rose asks, "Why not?"
I turn to her. "Well," I say, glancing up at Caspian, "I've been gone for a few years. I'd like some time to re-adjust to this world and the changes that have happened before returning to my role as queen."
I never imagined I'd return to Narnia, and here I am a third time. Each transition between worlds feels more difficult as I grow older and try, without success, to make a life for myself in either. I long for stability, but it appears that my right to a peaceful or happy life vanished the moment I first stepped into that wardrobe with my brothers and sister years ago. I've lived so many lifetimes since that day and yet none have been allowed to play out to the end, as a life should.
"Your mother has a point, children," says Caspian. "And there is another, even greater reason we might take pause at spreading this news so soon."
I look up at him.
His gaze remains on the children. "Never before has one of the old kings and queens returned alone. Without her brothers and sister, we know not how my people will react to her majesty's return. The kings and queens were beloved and known for their fair, wise, powerful reign, but they always ruled together as a family and defeated their enemies together." Now he looks at me. His dark eyes make my breath catch in my throat. "Without the others, especially without sign or word of Aslan as well, I cannot promise your return will bring the joy or loyalty we need to inspire."
I nod. "He makes an excellent point," I say, looking back down first at Caspian — or rather, Lewis — and then Rose. "I don't think Uncle Peter or..." I pause, stumbling over the words kept secret for so long. "Or Edmund and Lucy will be returning with me, not this time." I'm less certain of Edmund and Lucy's likelihood of joining us, but I don't want to give the children false hope. And, if I am honest with myself... a part of me hopes they don't return. How can I explain my secret life, my falsehoods and deception, to my siblings — especially without Peter here to help?
The gruff voice of the minotaur speaks. "It is decided, then. We will keep word of her majesty's presence contained unless and until we judge it more appropriate to share the news."
"Our plan is laid," says Caspian. "We will send spies and messengers to refute Jadis' lies and wait for further reports of her plans or actions. I thank you all for your presence here and guidance today."
The others bow in deference to their king and then to me before making their exit from the tent.
The children, myself, and Caspian are left alone in the tent. The air is heavy with silence.
"Children, if you would allow me, I would like a moment alone with your mother. Lewis, I will arrange for you to be removed to your tent. You need to rest."
Lewis nods in weary agreement.
Rose and Caspian step outside. He returns after a moment with two soldiers, who carry Lewis out. He secures the tent flap shut again.
We are alone.
A/N: My 2019:
- new boyfriend
- quit job
- moved
- new job
- health problems
- concussion
- more health problems
- quit job
- started freelancing
- quit freelancing
Now I work from home as a full-time novelist. You'd think this means time to update more, but really it means now I focus my writing on the Words That Will Pay. I'm also in charge of cleaning the apartment, running the errands, managing the money, making the food. It's a busy life.
