Disclaimer: I do not own any of the material appearing in this story.


Drought

"Lord Bowser! Lord Bowser!" A Hammer Bro came running up to his throne room, which he had turned into an office. "Lord Bowser! We have bad news!"

"What! Can't you see I'm busy making games! I've come up with a new idea! Xenoblade Chronicles: Bowser Edition! Instead of that sucker Shulk, I'm the one wielding the Monado! Shulk can just be my minion! Bwahahaha! He'll be the last party member while Junior is my right hand man!"

"…Yes yes, you're having way too much fun with being the president of Nintendo, but you've gotta see this now!" He said, whistling as some Sledge Bros came in and grabbed him by the arms.

"Wah! Hey! What are you boneheads doing!" Bowser roared as he was dragged to the top of his castle against his will. "Alright, what's this about?"

"Take a look." Hammer Bro gave him binoculars.

"Let's see… what am I looki- HOLY SMOKES, WHY IS MUSHROOM FIELDS A DESERT?!"

"Everyone is thirsty for a Nintendo Direct, sire." The Hammer Bro said. "Everyone is demanding a Direct… and all we're giving them are game specific ones! We can only tide 'em over so much before nothing works anymore!"

"So? Give 'em that Animal Crossing direct!"

"We already did that! We did Smash, we did Pokemon, we did Animal Crossing… everyone needs a General Direct! The only game we have out is Shulk remastering his old game and that's coming out… soon!"

Bowser chuckled. "I know exactly what we need to do."

Hammer Bro's eyes sparkled. "Do you mean we're getting a General Direct? That's what the populous needs!"

"BWAHAHAHAHA! No. We're going to do an Indies Direct."

The sparkles in his eyes disappeared, being replaced with dread. "…Come again?"

Bowser turned around and walked off. "And then we'll do a Xenoblade Direct, and maybe after that, we'll do another Indie Direct and perhaps a Bowser Direct starring yours truly! And then after that-" His voice was getting harder to hear.

"…Boys… I think we're gonna have a riot on our hands." Hammer Bro groaned.

"May Palutena help us all…" A Sledge Bro muttered.


Too Hardcore

"Thank you, come again!" A Toad cashier waved goodbye as he saw Isabelle approach him. "Oh hi Isabelle! Buying a game, are we?" He asked. "I bet you're excited over New Horizons!"

"You know I am! But I came for something different to broaden my horizons."

"Ah! So what is it? Legend of Zelda? Pokemon? Oh! Is it Fire Emblem?"

"Nope!" Isabelle smiled. "I want one copy of Doom Eternal please!"

"…D-D-Doom… Eternal? …For you?!"

"Yes!" Isabelle smiled sweetly.

"Um… no offense, Isabelle… but this is waaaay too violent for a cinnamon roll like yourself. It's too hardcore too!"

"So? I want to try it!"

"Um… how about something else? I could get you Overwatch! Or maybe a Kirby game would suffice!"

"No, I want Doom Eternal."

"How about Pushmo? Chibi Robo? How about Astral Chain?"

"No. Doom Eternal."

"Look Isabelle… I'm not comfortable giving you Doom Eternal."

"Then you leave me with no other choice." Isabelle said and then whistled.

"I don't know what that whistle is for, but… giving you Doom Eternal will mess you up and-" He looked up to see someone approaching them. "-And… and… and… OH MY GOODNESS, WHAT'S HE DOING HERE?!"

"Mr. Cashier, meet my new best friend. Doom Slayer!" Isabelle smiled as Doom Slayer folded his arms and looked at the Toad Cashier.

"M-meep… he's just standing there… menacingly!" The cashier was shivering violently. "H-How did you come across this guy?"

"Oh, I was minding my own business one day and I was suddenly attacked by Grimm when a portal opened up and this guy came through and tore them to shreds! I took a shining to him right after!"

"S-so what… he's your body guard?"

"More like a big brother." Isabelle said. "Isn't that right?" She asked as Doom Slayer gave her the thumbs up. "Now, I'll ask again. I would like one copy of Doom Eternal please."

"A-and… if I refu-… nope! Not going there!" He said, handing her the copy. "A-and… what would you like, Mr. Doom Guy? Would you like… uh… Doom Eternal?" He asked as he shook his head and pointed to a game. "Animal Crossing: New Horizons?" He asked as he nodded. "You want to play a wholesome game and Isabelle wants to rip and tear?" He nodded again. "Uh… okay…" He took the case and handed it to Doom Slayer as the two of them walked out.

"Come on, I'll show you to how to build a village while I rip and tear stuff up!" Isabelle smiled, earning another thumbs up from the Slayer.

"…What the devil just happened?" The cashier wondered.


Everything Is… Bricks?

Meanwhile, in a different universe, Lego Mario was getting up for the day and hopping off of the bed, happily humming as he walked out the door. Immediately, he heard explosions as he turned around to see Peach's castle on fire. "Mama mia!" He exclaimed as he quickly ran off and then saw Lego Bowser taking Lego Peach.

"Bwahahaha! You're too late! I have the princess and there's nothing you can do about it!" Lego Bowser taunted.

"Oh yeah?" Lego Mario quickly made a slingshot from the rubble and crafted a red and white Bullet Bill-like missile as he launched it toward the airship.

"…Oh crud…" Lego Bowser groaned as the airship exploded as the two of them fell to the ground but Lego Mario quickly crafted a trampoline for Lego Peach to safely land on.

"Phew! Thanks!" She smiled, and then Lego Mario crafted a baseball bat right as Lego Bowser got back up… and saw Lego Mario going for a swing.

"Wait wait, do-" Lego Mario quickly swung it as Lego Bowser went flying. "WAAAAAAH!"

"So long-a Bowser!" Lego Mario called out.

"My hero!" Lego Peach giggled.


"Mwahahaha! You'll never defeat me, Little Red!" Lego Roman chuckled. "There's nothing your scythe can't do!"

"…You're right, but I can do this!" Lego Ruby quickly crafted Crescent Rose into a bazooka and aimed it at Lego Roman, chuckling devilishly.

"Oooooh, that's right, everything is made out of bricks…" Lego Roman said as Lego Neo pulled out a sign that said This is gonna suck.

BOOM!

"Behold! Crescent Bazooka!" Lego Ruby giggled as she walked off as Lego Roman faceplanted and shattered into pieces while Lego Neo landed gently on the ground.

"…Hey Neo? Could you reattach my head on my body?"


"Huh?" Lego Yang turned to the sounds of Lego Blake yelling in agony as she turned to see Lego Adam. "Get AWAY from her!" She ordered.

"No… please!" Lego Blake begged while Lego Adam smirked and sheathed his sword.

"YAAAAAAAAAH!" Lego Yang screamed, jumping through the air and readied to punch Lego Adam… buuut he swiftly unsheathed his sword and slashed her, cutting off her arm as she slammed into the ground, crashing into rubble. "Nnngh!"

With a chuckle, Lego Adam turned to Lego Blake. "Now… where were we?"

"Hey buddy!"

Lego Adam turned around, seeing Lego Yang reattaching her arm. "I gotta hand it to ya… you almost had me there!"

"Son of a… fine, I'll cut off both of them!" Lego Adam growled… and then got hit the face with Lego Yang literally throwing her hands at him.

"Catch these hands!"

"Argh! You little…"

Lego Blake facepalmed. "Goodness, what has our life become?"

Lego Yang detached her leg and then swung it into Lego Adam's head. "I guess I got a leg up in this fight!" She said, reattaching her leg.

"Will you stop it with these puns?!" Lego Adam yelled, as Lego Yang shot up on the ceiling, detaching a chandelier… which fell and slammed into him, shattering on contact… and then Yang threw an arm and a leg at him like boomerangs.

"I could, but stopping these puns will cost you an arm and a leg." Lego Yang grinned cheekily as she caught them.

"AAAARGH!"

Lego Yang quickly built something out of the ruins of the chandelier and the rubble, making a bust of Ozpin's head. "Heads up!" She said, throwing the head at Lego Adam which he quickly slashed in half… and then noticed Lego Yang was sliding underneath the head and then… "SHORYUKEN!" She yelled, popping Lego Adam's head off, catching it in her hand while Lego Adam's body stumbled around trying to get the head back, bumping into rubble and following over. "He couldn't get his head in the game!"

"Gah! Stop it! You're driving me crazy!" Lego Blake complained.

"Oh come on, these puns were purr-fect." Lego Yang said cheekily.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!" Lego Blake screamed.


Ness's Problem

Ness whistled to himself, leaning his bat on his shoulder as he walked into his room… but as he did, he noticed Jeff, Paula, Poo, and Lucas sitting in chairs. "Hello Ness." Paula greeted.

"Oh, hey guys… what's going on?" Ness asked.

"Have a seat."

"Ooookay, what did I do?" Ness asked as he sat in the chair. "…Wait a second, is this an intervention?"

"Sadly, yes." Lucas nodded.

"Oh come on, I'm not addicted to anything!" Ness said.

"Actually, you are." Jeff corrected. "Do you remember what you do in fights?"

"Hmm…" Ness folded his arms.


"PK FIRE! PK FIRE! PK FIRE!"

"YAAAAAAAGH!" Dedede screamed, getting roasted by the constant PK Fire.


"Hehehe!" Ness smirked, using his Yo-Yo as an edge guard, hitting Banjo as he was trying to recover.

"Ooof! Ow! Yagh! Gah!"


"PK THUNDER!" Ness yelled, hitting Villager as he was recovering.

"Gah!" Villager said as he recovered again.

"PK THUNDER!" He yelled, directing his lightning ball into Villager again.

"Ooof!" Villager said as he brought out his balloons again.

"PK THUNDER!"

"Agh!" Villager cried as he tried to bring out his balloons again… but they popped. "Uh oh… AAAAAH!"


"You seriously have a problem." Poo said.

"Oh come on guys, I'm not that bad. It only happened once." Ness said.

"Oh yeah?" Paula brought out a picture. "Look at all of this." She said as Ness saw the various Smashers completely fried up by his PK Fire spam, also some of their hair was standing up thanks to PK Thunder. Some of the Smasher's hands were bandaged because of the Yo-Yo.

"Oooooooooh… well, at least I don't spam PK Flash!"


"PK FLASH!" Ness yelled, unleashing PK Flash on Jigglypuff, which she had shielded… but her shield broke, making her go fly high into the sky.

"JIGGLYPUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUFF!" She cried as a star shined brightly in the sky.

"PK FLASH!" Ness yelled, using it on Pit's shield as it broke.

"Oh no no no no!" He groaned.

"PK FLAAAAAAASH!" He yelled, guiding it to Pit… and then it exploded on him.

"WAAAAAAAAAAH!"


Ness winced. "…Okay, maybe I do have a problem…"

"YA THINK?!"


I think I had a liiiiittle too much fun with that Lego skit.

Also, because we got that Nindies Direct, that means we're getting a General Direct now, right? I mean, that's what this leak has proven, yes?

...I'm treating this like the Grinch leak. I may be desperate for a General Direct at this point, but i'm not desperate enough to believe a leak.

Also, unless Doom Guy gets in Smash and I bring him in to the main series just to acknowledge him, he's only gonna be Chibi exclusive. (Surprisingly, no one spammed me over the Slayer...)

Just because a character isn't in Smash doesn't mean I WON'T acknowledge them. I mean, I have the Persona 4 characters and Danganronpa (Yeah, you heard me. Some eagle eyed readers pointed this out to me in a PM. ;) ) in the series for crying out loud! I might explain this further in the next Superstar Saga chapter. We'll see! Take care y'all!