A/N: IT LIVES. Believe me when I say it is insanely difficult to keep any kind of consistency with updates. The fact that I'm writing at all right now is a triumph in itself, but with this COVID-19 quarantine/lockdown lunacy, I'm making a point to really try and finish stuff, starting with this damn anthology, because I've promised time and again that I'd finish it by a specific date and failed to do so. So, with that, I make no promises but I swear on my grave that I will do my damnedest to complete Another Hundred Warblers in the near future.


Chapter inspiration: Fallen (Sarah McLachlan)


"Where does he go every Thursday?" Nick stood with Jeff, Sebastian and Louis as they watched Joel leave—right on the dot—at four-thirty. "You don't think he's— y'know?"

Louis nudged the dark-haired boy. "Only one way to find out. Let's go. Seb, car." Sebastian was a little hesitant to spy on Joel but since it was out of concern.. He sighed and headed out to the parking lot.

Once all four of them were off property, Jeff looked around. "Where'd he go?"

"There!" Louis pointed at the passing bus, on which Joel was visible. "Follow the bus before we lose him!"

Sebastian tailed the bus and stopped before the next intersection. The four boys watched Joel get off and walk into the Westerville Community Center. "What the hell?" Nick murmured. Sebastian pulled into a nearby parking lot. They got out and went up to the lobby. There were a bunch of meeting rooms in use, the one that stuck out, however, was Alcoholics Anonymous in 237.

"You think he's—" Nick and Louis shrugged and they set out for the destination. Having not arrived yet, they could hear Joel's voice.

"I've been sober for three months. It's one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. I started drinking at twelve. I depended on the sauce. In what screwed-up universe does a kid celebrate his thirteenth birthday alone behind a gay bar with a bottle of vodka?"

They looked at each other. Joel had been opening up to them but not this much. "Wow," Jeff mouthed.

"Your first time here, you said you cut your parents out of your life, is that correct?" An older woman—probably in her late forties—looked concerned. Joel nodded. "Has anyone ever contacted Child Services?"

"No offense, Miss McDonnell, but I will never willingly go into foster care. If my life was terrible then, think what they'd do to a kid kicked out—literally thrown out of the house—by his parents for having homosexual feelings."

None of the boys had any idea why Joel was the way he was. No wonder he was so wary of people. This was a real eye opener.

"I have a hard time letting people see the real, vulnerable me. My friends at school— they're great. Really. But a lot of the time it seems like they care more about the stupid competition than anything else. I mean, I know we're a singing group but can't we do something other than that? Maybe a group outing. Our captain—he's kind of an egotistical jerk—all he does is yell at us for not being good enough. Especially me. I'm not good enough. I know that. Not like I need the reminder."

"You are good enough. You're better than good enough. You're one of the strongest people I know." It was another voice. Sebastian craned his neck to see a redheaded guy across from Joel. "Joel, you've been at these meetings every week for twelve weeks straight. You've told us things you couldn't on your first few visits. You're making progress."

Joel was quiet, absently playing with his hands. The others had started to notice this as a nervous tic. The way Joel carried on at Dalton, he was sarcastic and acted like he was fine. He'd also more than likely kill them and hide their bodies if he found out they were there. With that, the four Warblers started heading for the door.

"Are you fucking serious?" They all flinched simultaneously and turned to see Joel and the redhead. "For the sake of present company, I won't murder you... right now." He rolled his eyes. "These terrible spies are my teammates, Sebastian, Louis, Nick and Jeff. Inconsiderate assholes, this is Nate, my sponsor."

Nate stepped forward and seemed to examine the teenagers. "Joel's told me all about you. Each of you. Sebastian's the co-captain who's great at keeping everything running smoothly." Sebastian blinked. He didn't know to what extent Joel spoke about them but he honestly assumed it was all negative. "Louis has the broadest musical taste and the best crazy ideas." Louis was surprised. "And Nick and Jeff are the resident couple. It may not seem like it but Joel thinks of you two like his family."

"Shut up!" Joel drove his elbow into the man's side. Identical grins appeared on their faces. "Fantastic. Now I'll never hear the end of it. You're supposed to help me overcome the drink, not ruin my social life."

Nate nudged him. "You were supposed to do step eight." Joel groaned and pulled a crumpled paper from his back pocket. "Are they on it?" An annoyed look answered his question. "Might as well do it now."

Joel wore his usual borderline irritated expression as he unfolded the sheet. He cleared his throat. "Sebastian, you and I have never really been on the same page. I'm a pretty big pain in the ass and I've lashed out at you, among others, many times. I'm actively working to change that, and become more at peace with my situation."

"Thanks, Joel." Sebastian nodded.

Joel turned to Louis, who looked like a deer in headlights. "Louis. You're probably one of few people who goes out of his way to try and be nice to me, and I never thanked you. You are a genuinely good person and I want to be more like that. Not the music taste though."

Louis actually laughed out loud. "Fuck you, man." He clapped Joel on the shoulder. "We're good."

Joel bit his lip and moved on to Niff. "I did both of you in the same one because, well, you practically are one person. Nick, you're the closest I've ever had to a best friend. You're there for me when I need it and you never judge me, at least not to my face. You're straightforward and I'm really, really glad I have you in my life." Nick quickly wiped his eyes. "Jeff. Sweet, precious Jeff. You've been victim so many times to my outrageous behavior and I'm so sorry. You're the sun in our sky. Oh my Gods, that sounds way cheesier out loud. My point is, your upbeat, positive attitude is something I aspire to have one day." Both boys embraced him. "Okay, we're doing this. Love you too."

Nate smiled, watching the interactions. Joel really came a long way from when they met, and he was proud to be his sponsor.