Chapter Seventy Seven: Growing Up

He was home.

Jun'ei stepped out of the carriage, pausing for a moment to cast his gaze across the familiar terrain of the Kuchiki Estate. Groundsmen were hard at work in several areas, putting back together the perfect aesthetic that had been destroyed by the various battles that had taken place here. Across the dips and rises in the green he could see men also hard at work fixing the damage to the Kuchiki crypt, and something about these signs of recovery reassured him that the worst was truly over now. It felt like he had been away for a lifetime, though he knew it had only been a matter of weeks since Seiren had sent him away and Shibata had hurriedly put him on a horse, sending him into the unknown to fetch help. As he reflected on this, Jun'ei remembered that, as a result of this quick decision making, nobody at the Kuchiki manor had lost their lives. With the news about the deaths in First District now common knowledge, Jun'ei was only too aware of how lucky his family had been. Now Guren was also on the mend, the Kuchiki were getting back into their normal rhythm - but he was older and wiser in many ways now and knew that it had been luck, and the dedication of individuals, that had seen them come through virtually unscathed.

And I was at least a small part of that.

He put his hand to his chest, remembering the wild flight through the forest, and the unexpected encounter with the fugitive and the little girl in the woods that had changed his perspective on life forever.

I was not able to see Katsura, because of my promise to Father. I did not go to the trial, and I did not try to go to Thirteenth. I also know Father sent me back here, because Katsura will be in the Coastal Province. He doesn't want me to extend that acquaintance, so perhaps I will not get another chance to speak with him. But I do not regret the decisions I made, and I am glad to have met him. I am learning that there is far more to being a first degree Clansman than I had ever thought before...and I hope I will be able to build on it.

After giving the coachmen and accompanying retainers instructions about the carriage, horses, and his own meagre luggage, Jun'ei dismissed them to their tasks, heading up the main pathway towards the estate proper. The land was still very uneven, with huge searing patches across the grass that reminded him that his Great Grandfather's corpse had walked here too, wreaking havoc for his children and grandchildren. Yet the sun was shining, making the whole idea of a vengeful Sun sword a lot harder to visualise. He sighed, stretching his arms out to feel the warmth of the rays.

"I have plenty to do here, for now,"

Shirogane's voice echoed in his head, as his father had put him in the carriage to send him back home.

"We'll talk more about the future when I have a chance to get away - but I've been giving it some serious thought. I think, since you're so interested in the outside world all of a sudden, there's something we really ought to consider. If you really want to follow in my footsteps that badly, then perhaps, I'll grant you that wish."

Jun'ei had been confused, not understanding Shirogane's meaning, and the Vice Captain had smiled.

"You're fifteen, now," he had observed. "Old enough, perhaps, to make choices for yourself. I'm thinking of sending you to the Academy, going forward. It's a rare thing, for a Kuchiki heir to attend there, but I did - and so did Ryuu - and we both benefitted from it in many different ways. I wasn't heir to the Clan when I was sent there, it's true - but as your Father, I believe it to be the next step in your education. Seiren-dono can teach you all about the Clan, but not how to be a shinigami, or how to interact with District people. I didn't have District classmates, but I had at least one District kouhai who made me think about everything I had learned about Clan superiority. I think that's the best place for you now - so come next Spring, I want you to be prepared to go to District One and study. I expect you to make me proud and work hard - so resolve yourself. This is the path you chose when you decided you could speak back to me and have your own point of view - I want you to learn other points of view, so that your own can be less naive and more informed going forth."

The Academy.

Jun'ei's heart skipped a beat at the thought.

Before all of this, the idea would have frightened me. But when Father said it, I was just excited. There are so many things I want to learn about Seireitei, now. There, perhaps, I can learn them. Like Father did, and Ryuu-dono, too. Although I will miss Seiren-dono's lessons - it's also lonely, being the only Kuchiki in the central Clan of my age. If I went to First District, maybe I would make friends. Maybe I'd find people I could trust in...even if they're not Kuchiki. I think I'd like that. I don't suppose Father likes the fact that my first attempt at making friends was with a wanted fugitive...but I don't mind that it was. I'll go to the Academy with an open mind and I'll make Father and Seiren-dono proud of me. I'll finally be learning how to be a proper shinigami, as well as a proper Kuchiki, and I can't wait to do that.

"Jun'ei!"

As he entered the front hallway of the manor house, an anxious voice called his name, and he turned, seeing his mother Saori hurrying towards him. He smiled as she reached him, flinging her arms around him in a relieved hug, and he returned it, reassured by the normality of her presence in the main house. She and his siblings had been recalled from the North, escorted by Futsuki once it was sure the danger had passed, and as she held him at arm's length, checking him over for any sign of harm, he realised how glad he was to see her safe and well and back at the main estate.

"I am quite fine, Mother," he reassured her. "It was a frightening experience, but Kinnya-sama took good care of me, and I have come to no harm."

"Your father kept us informed of the situation from Inner Seireitei, and told me to keep your brother and sister safe in the North until he sent word otherwise, but I badly wanted him to have you sent to join us," Saori patted down his muzzled hair, automatically neatening it and offering him a faint smile. "I think you've grown a little. There's something different in your aura. I was relieved you were safe with Kinnya-sama, but with everything that happened..."

"I am truly all right," Jun'ei assured her. "I was able to continue my studies in the Coastal Province, as Kinnya-sama has a very fine library. I was also glad to meet him and discuss things with him. Besides, I am not just a child any longer. I must be able to protect you all, going forwards - as Father is not always able to be here. In his absence, I must fill that role."

"You sound like a young man, not a boy," Saori acknowledged. "Your siblings will be happy to see you, I know that. I certainly am. I know your Father took injury as well, though he's not told me the details in any of his messages. It's just like him not to want to worry me," she added with a sigh, "and thus worry me more by his lack of detail. You have seen him, though. He is well? He is not hurt?"

"He's fine," Jun'ei confirmed. "Inner Seireitei is just very busy at the moment, and with Guren-sama still recovering, Father has taken control of Sixth Division and all of the things there. He didn't seem hurt at all, though. Only..."

He reached up to touch his hair, then smiled faintly.

"He lost his hair in the battle," he admitted. "It's very short now, and he looks quite unlike himself. He told me to break it to you, as you'd probably be shocked to see him without any advanced warning."

"His hair...?" Saori looked momentarily stunned, then she sighed, returning the smile with a resigned one of her own.

"Well, if that is the only damage, I am sure I can bear it," she said lightly. "It will grow back, I'm sure. Your father has always taken pride in his long hair...a memento from his father, and something his mother cherished, so no doubt he'll grow it back. In the meantime, thank you for reassuring me. He might not tell me the full truth about his injuries, but I felt sure that you wouldn't lie to me, Jun'ei-kun."

He's truly fine," Jun'ei promised. "He said he'd come back here as soon as things settle. He has things to discuss with Guren-sama, too, and I know he'll want to see you and my brother and sister as well."

He pursed his lips, considering.

Father told me not to mention Katsura to Mother, nor the close interaction I had with a wanted criminal on my way to - and at - Kinnya-sama's estate. I don't like to conceal things, but, seeing her now, I realise she would only worry. Perhaps I am lying to you, Mother - but it seems unlikely I will ever see Katsura again. Besides, his fate has been settled now, and I am satisfied with that. I'm starting to understand that, sometimes, being a shinigami - or a Clan heir - means not being able to tell your close kin everything for fear of scaring them.

Out loud he asked,

"How is Guren-sama?"

"Tired, but recovering well and in good spirits," Saori assured him. "He's outside, this morning - in the shade of the trees. He was fed up with being cooped up in his chamber, and really, it's just a matter of time now before he recovers his full strength. He and Seiren-dono have been out there discussing the Clan's administration for the last couple of hours - but I'm sure both could use a break. You should go see them. Seiren-dono is quite fond of you, and you should pay your respects to the Clan leader, now you are safely home,"

"I'll do that, then," Jun'ei agreed. "I'm sorry I worried you, Mother, but all is well now. I am glad you are home. Everything feels much more normal now that you are."

"You truly are taking after your Father," Saori sent him an affectionate look. "I can see it, you know. In your eyes, in your bearing - that resolve to do what's right. I'm proud of you, Jun'ei-kun. I've always known you'll be a fine heir to this Clan one day...I'm sure you'll not prove me wrong."

"I hope so," Jun'ei reddened slightly. "I have a lot of things to learn, though, yet. I'll go pay my respects, now."

He bowed his head towards her, then turned on his heel, hurrying through the halls of the manor towards the rear gardens and the secluded area of space where he knew his Great Uncles would be waiting. The grounds of the Kuchiki manor were broad and encompassed a lot of territory, including the areas where Jun'ei had practiced with his sword, and the land beyond where the fierce fighting had torn up the grass and created large areas of dried, caked mud. At the very rear of the estate, however, was a private garden, used only by those members at the core of the Clan. Jun'ei had come here a few times before, usually with Shirogane, to practice the flute or show his father his latest progress with the sword. When Saori had said that Guren and Seiren were outside, Jun'ei had instinctively known it would be this place, but, as he approached the sliding door, he faltered slightly. Would he be disturbing them? Would they welcome him, or send him away? With everything that had happened, Jun'ei knew that there must be a lot of Clan business to settle, and he hesitated, his hand hovering against the door panel as a sudden doubt filled his heart.

Is it really all right for me to just barge in there? I said I was going to pay my respects, but...

"If you stand there, Jun'ei, you'll block everyone's access."

As if to answer his concerns, the door slid back at that moment, revealing an amused looking Seiren. At the sudden opening, Jun'ei jumped, staring at his teacher in disconcerted surprise, and Seiren laughed, gesturing for the boy to follow him outside.

"I heard your footsteps, and Guren-sama sensed your reiatsu," he explained. "I thought you might come here, to see for yourself that we are well. I knew you were returning today - you made good time. You don't need to be shy. Guren-sama is eager to see you, and so am I."

"I did not like to intrude," Jun'ei reddened slightly, but obediently followed his Great Uncle out into the secluded and lush Kuchiki garden. In the shade of the heavy green boughs of the sakura trees, his other Great Uncle was resting, and at the sight of the youngster, he raised his hand, gesturing for the boy to come join them. Paperwork was stacked in neat piles around the base of one of the trees, held down by stones to prevent them from blowing away, and, as Jun'ei shyly did as he was bidden, he wondered what areas of District Six the two men had been working on.

Guren was still a little pale, a slight fragility to his aura, and Jun'ei could tell that the other man's robust spirit power was unusually unstable. Despite that, he was smiling, and, as Jun'ei knelt at the edge of the shade, Seiren leaned up against the trunk of the tree, propping his stick up beside it with a sigh.

"I am glad to see you in one piece, Jun'ei," he said honestly. "I am glad that you were able to get away so successfully. I'm sorry it was so hurried. It must have been frightening."

"It was, but I am grateful," Jun'ei bowed his head towards his tutor. "You saved my life by doing so, and I am glad I was able to meet your expectations and send help."

"You seem to have gone above and beyond them, from what I hear," Guren eyed the boy keenly. "You weren't sent to summon Kinnya-sama, were you? Just to take sanctuary at his estate. What made you decide to ask him to come?"

"The feeling of death around this place," Jun'ei shivered. "I didn't know how to explain it, but it curled right into the core of my soul and wouldn't let go. I knew you were going to come, sir, but I was frightened. I just...didn't want anyone to be killed."

"Well, your judgement was sound, as it seems the enemy knew more about me than I did about him," Guren put a hand to his chest pensively. "I've caused people a fair amount of worry myself, as it happens. But I am grateful, Jun'ei. Your judgement saved my life, and probably Seiren's and Shirogane's as well. Kinnya-sama is a very powerful man - and a great ally. I'm glad you've now had a chance to meet him - how did you find his company?"

"He is an unusual Clansman, but I trusted in his word and his advice," Jun'ei said thoughtfully. "I can understand why he has so much respect. I am glad to have met him. I hope I will be able to do so again, in the future, as I think there is much I can learn from him as a future Clan leader."

"Yes, probably, that's true." Seiren reflected. "Kinnya-sama was the right hand man of our father, Senaya-sama - a great Clan leader, whatever this enemy tried to do with him. He's an eccentric old man, sometimes, our Great Uncle - but a man of integrity and someone who never fails to come through for us in a crisis. It is well you have met him now. I am sure you will have future occasion to learn from him going forward."

He eyed Jun'ei thoughtfully.

"Shirogane has made me aware of his intention to send you to the Academy come the Spring," he said softly, and Jun'ei flinched slightly, then nodded his head.

"Are you angry?" he asked anxiously. "I like being taught by you, Seiren-dono. I enjoy our lessons and I have learned very much. It isn't that..."

"Shh," Seiren held up his hand, cutting the young Kuchiki off mid-speech. "I can only teach you so much, and I can only teach you about the Clan. I can't teach you to be a shinigami, or do the things Guren-sama and your father do on a regular basis. I had thought to mention it to Shirogane myself, if all of this had not happened when it did. You are fifteen, now. He was fifteen when Guren-sama sent him to the Academy. My own son also attended, as I think you know, and in both cases, the Kuchiki family has benefitted from that varied education. I will miss teaching you," he added, "and I will still require you to study Clan matters when you are here, but it seems like a wise decision. Futsuki can teach you to raise your sword - but not to work with people of other Clans and Districts, which, in this modern age, is what is required of Clan leaders."

"I have no objection, either. Shirogane is your father, and the decision is his," Guren agreed. "As it happens, I think the timing is good. I have been considering my own future in Sixth Division, and it seems quite possible I might resign my haori going forward."

"Guren-sama?" Jun'ei stared at the older man in alarm. "But I thought...you were getting well now?"

"I am, and I will make a full recovery, according to Retsu-sama," Guren nodded. "It's like recovering from any battle and period of inactivity following an injury, but my reiryoku is better than it was and the fact I could sense your reiatsu so easily is a promising sign that I'm not far off being useful with a sword again. But leaving this place undefended is clearly unwise. This attack came from nowhere, but it could happen again, in the future. I would rather be here, protecting my family, as that is, ultimately, my job. Shirogane is perfectly capable of stepping up to being Captain and it would be a good test of his skill for the future."

"I see," Jun'ei sighed, looking relieved. "I'm sorry. I just...for a moment...it worried me."

"I'm quite all right," Guren eyed his great nephew keenly. "A couple of weeks more rest and I'll be raring to go. But if I do retire from the Gotei, it has other potential future implications. I chose Shirogane as my Vice Captain before he graduated - and it put pressure on him to achieve the standards I set down. Of course, he did it, and he has always been a fine choice. It may well be that, going forward, similar burdens will fall to you. One day you will have to take the Sixth haori, as that is the tradition of our Clan. I have no doubt Ryuu will be there too, to support the Division if I retire, but you should think very much with this in mind - that your job is to achieve as much as you can, graduate well and go into Sixth Division in such a way that you can also support your Father going forward."

"I hadn't thought about that," Jun'ei admitted. "That graduating the Academy would mean being a shinigami, and being able to join a squad. That would mean I'd be able to spend more time with Father, wouldn't it?" His eyes sparkled suddenly. "I'll be able to work with him in Inner Seireitei! I spent a couple of days at Sixth Division and there was so much going on, but Father always knew what to say and what orders to give. I'm sure if I could be there and work with him, I'd learn so much more!"

"You don't seem opposed to the idea of the Academy then, Jun'ei?" Guren asked. "Nor the potential implications of graduating there with your Clan position and the future in mind? The chances are that you would have considerable weight placed on you if you joined Sixth Division as the Clan heir...you're not fazed by those thoughts?"

"I had never left the manor before this incident, and before this, I might have feared it," Jun'ei admitted. "But all of this has made me want to learn more - not just about the Kuchiki, and especially, about Father and the things that happened here before I was born - but also about other people in other places. And..." he sighed. "I would like the chance to make friends, sir. I have never had that opportunity. I have many people here whom I love and respect greatly, and I do not feel neglected - but I have no peers my own age. I should like to be able to make friends, and share thoughts with them, and cross swords with them in practice spars. I've always felt a bit lonely, and worried about what will happen in the future, when everyone I care about is gone. I think...being able to make friends from outside of District Six may help me to prepare for that more readily."

"You sound very grown up all of a sudden," Seiren smiled. "It's true that Ryuu made very strong friendships in his time at the Academy, and they've seen him through many scrapes. Once, one of those friends saved his life from an assassin. I'm not a shinigami, and the Academy is a foreign place to me - but I have nothing bad to say about it or its teachers. Go and make friends, and learn about the world. I will teach you what I can in the months we have left regarding the Clan, but then I will let you go. I will doubtless have to see to teaching your siblings soon, anyway. Your sister is very eager to learn everything, and I suspect she might be more of a challenge than you are."

"She's a spirited young girl, that's for sure," Guren laughed. "She's apparently been agitating about learning to hold a sword since she first saw Shirogane teaching you techniques, Jun'ei. Saori-dono isn't so convinced that a Clan hime ought to wield a blade, but frankly, I don't mind if she does."

"My sister?" Jun'ei blinked, then he smiled. "She's always been more interested in swords and spars and stuff like that than my brother has," he admitted. "When we were smaller, she never wanted to play the damsel in distress in our make believe games. She always wanted to be the rescuer, and I've seen her tie up my brother before, and make him pretend that he's being held hostage by dragons. She's always ripping her play clothes by climbing trees - and sometimes, swinging from them, unless she gets caught by one of the maidservants. Mother hates it, so I never let her hold my sword - but I think she wants to learn."

"Perhaps she is also more like Shirogane than Saori-dono can handle," Seiren chuckled. "She certainly has both the curly hair and the air of righteous defiance, from all I've seen of the child. Well, I shall enjoy teaching her. I have four daughters of my own, and raising them taught me that I really have no understanding of traditional Clan hime. A spirited young woman keen on learning how to protect and defend her family, on the other hand? I think I might manage that."

"I'll talk to Shirogane about her possibilities with the sword, too, as it will take him to persuade Saori-dono," Guren reflected. "She is what, nine now? I thought so," as Jun'ei nodded. "I learned a long time ago that being too rigid to Clan tradition is not a good thing for this family."

He eyed Jun'ei pensively.

"You said you wanted to learn more about your family and your father, from before you were born," he said softly. "Shirogane will doubtless tell you much about that, but I will tell you something as well. You know about my son, Ribari, I think? You attend his memorials, even though you never knew him."

"Yes, sir," Jun'ei became grave. "I know that he should have been the heir to this Clan, but he was murdered by a woman called Endou Eiraki."

"Yes," Guren's eyes clouded slightly. "He was nineteen at the time. It's not something a father ever recovers from, Jun'ei, so I want you to remember this. Shirogane was there that night. He almost lost his life, too, and he tried to protect my son, but failed. He has carried that burden all this time just as surely as I have carried the loss as Ribari's father. Shirogane became my heir, and I adopted him, but he still, I think, holds the guilt and the memory of Ribari's death inside of him. He is very conscious that he is not my son, and cannot replace Ribari - but in terms of the Clan and the succession, he can and he must."

He reached out to touch Jun'ei lightly on the arm.

"I have no grandchildren of my own, but you and your siblings fill that void, and I watch your growth with interest and pride," he said softly. "Shirogane is also as dear to me as a son could be, even if he can never replace Ribari. For those reasons, I want to give you the guidance I would have given Ribari's children. I believe you will be a fine heir to this Clan, and even though I will never see you inherit it, I feel happy that the succession of our great family is once more secure. But recent events have made it more pressing that I speak to you directly about the decisions that you make. Ribari's loss was devastating for your father and for me, and the danger we were all in from this enemy reminds me that we can none of us take for granted the lives we are given. I need you to understand the things Shirogane may not talk to you about - and realise that, in sending you to the Academy, he hopes to give you the skills to prevent your being hurt. When the message came that we were to come here to help Seiren, he was worried for you. Shibata told him that you were safely sent away, but I am sure, in that moment, he thought of Ribari. Shirogane isn't always here to watch over you, and he trusts in other people to do it. But he is always protecting you from afar - and hoping that you will be able to protect yourself, going forwards. If you go to the Academy, don't try to be a hero too soon. Learn the things you are taught, remember them and listen to the instructions given. You are young yet, and there is time to grow into your future responsibilities. Don't take reckless risks."

"Father..." Jun'ei's eyes became big, then he frowned, guilt flickering in his expression as he glanced from one Great Uncle to the other.

"He told you, didn't he?" he asked softly. "About Aizen Katsura...and my meeting with him."

"Of course he did," Guren nodded. "I'm the Clan Leader, and thus nothing is kept a secret from me. Though the message was sent to Seiren, as I was indisposed - I have read it myself as well. I understand you insisted on submitting a statement to the man's trial - and that you called yourself his ally. You understand the weight of that decision?"

"Yes, sir." Jun'ei nodded his head gravely. "But I believe it was the correct one and I think so now, too. I am glad the Council decided not to kill him. Katsura did some bad things, and I do not think they should be ignored or forgotten. But I learned that the deed and the person are not necessarily the same thing. Father doesn't want me to see him again, but I learned a lot of things from knowing him. I suppose I had not thought about it from that perspective before - that Father was worried about my safety to that degree. He did say to me, when reprimanding me on my behaviour, that Katsura was the son of the woman who killed Ribari-sama. But I did not realise...that he thought me to have been in the same level of danger as Ribari-sama was that night."

"Shirogane fought bravely against the invading enemy here, because he didn't want to be in that position again, unable to do anything while a close kinsman died," Seiren said grimly. "Learning that you were in close contact with a wanted murderer would have naturally shaken him. Fathers worry for their sons, Jun'ei. Believe me, they do. The thought of losing you is probably Shirogane's greatest fear. Certainly, for me, losing Ryuu would have been a devastating blow. There was a moment when I thought such a thing had happened..." he put a hand to his chest, then sighed. "If not for that Academy friend of his, I would have lost him, and I'm sure, I would never have recovered from it. I am not as brave as my brother is," he glanced at Guren, who shrugged sadly. "I still worry for the safety of my son, even now, as he fights the battles he believes in with skills far greater than I have ever possessed. Even knowing he can protect himself, I worry for him. As our sons grow up and begin to make their own decisions, it becomes harder for us to protect them, and we fear for them a lot more."

"I will remember," Jun'ei said seriously. "I will not worry Father again, I promise. I will work hard and learn to be a proper shinigami. But..."

He paused, then,

"I am grateful to Katsura, for the things he said to me," he admitted. "It opened my eyes to things I did not know. Shinigami are not perfect. They make mistakes, too. Knowing that makes me more determined to make a difference and be the kind of Clan leader who fixes those mistakes, rather than not seeing them."

"Then I think we'll say no more about it," Guren reflected. "I'm sure Shirogane will tell you, in his own time, about his adventures on the road to becoming Clan heir."

"I hope in not too much detail," Seiren looked rueful. "Or I might have to start telling my own stories as well. Suffice it to say, Jun'ei, that the Clan you were born into is also far from perfect - but that's not something we choose to show the people over whom we rule. It's a private understanding, but in public, we must remain strong and united, no matter what. When you go to the Academy, by all means, make friends...but do not forget that fact. You are a Kuchiki, and at all times, you must not forget the honour and responsibility that brings with it. Some people may challenge you because of who you are. Others may shun you. Others may seek advantage from you. Learning who you can trust is also a lesson in itself."

He sighed.

"Ah, there is much I still need to teach you, before you go to District One next spring," he mused. "We will be very busy."

"I look forward to it," Jun'ei said firmly, bowing his head towards his tutor with a smile. "Please teach me everything you can, Seiren-dono - I promise I will go to the Academy and make you proud!"


It was a peaceful day in the gentle gardens of the Fourth Division triage.

Kohaku made his way carefully through the pretty rows of flowers towards the far fence, leaning up against it and letting the breeze blow through his long dark hair. He was almost well enough to return to his home barracks, as the rest of the healing process would happen now without the immediate attention of the healers, but still Juushirou had not come to see him. Would he not see his Captain until he returned to Thirteenth proper? He chewed on his lip, contemplating this thought for a moment. Juushirou's health had improved - Kayashima's visit had told him that - but even since then, there had been no direct word from his Division. Though he was well enough now to get up, and spend time in the small garden designated for recuperating shinigami to take the air and relax outside of the confines of their room, he had found it hard to concentrate on any of the books Shikiki had kindly ferreted out for him. Normally, books on Seireitei history and legends would have absorbed his attention for hours, but today, they just reminded him of the Soldier, and the fact that, on the day he had decided to meet with Tsuneyoshi, he had also broken his Captain's trust.

The garden was empty at that moment except for him. When he had arrived, one of the Eleventh officers had been there, resting in the shade of one of the big laurel trees that cast their branches over the expanse of green. Kohaku had not known him by name, but, at the sight of him, the Eleventh officer had let out an exclamation, grasped him by the hand and thanked him fervently for his efforts the night the division had been attacked. It had taken Kohaku off guard to realise that he had not only been recognised, but that these officers, from a Division that, previously, had viewed him with some level of wary suspicion, now considered him a hero who had helped to save their lives. They had spoken for a bit, Kohaku shy and awkward in the face of such brusque gratitude, but the officer - the Eleventh's Fifth Seat - had told him how Enishi had been to visit them all, one by one, and had told them, in great detail, what had occurred on that fateful night. The officer had gone inside now, for it had been time for his physiotherapy, but Kohaku had reflected on the conversation seriously.

At least I made a difference there. I couldn't save everyone, and I couldn't fix everything. And maybe my Captain is mad with me. But there are people, here, who realise that I'm trying hard to help. I didn't know that Fukutaichou had told the Eleventh about my part in things - but I'm kind of happy that he did. Even if I feel wretched about the Tsuneyoshi incident...at least, the night the Eleventh was attacked, I did some good. Even if I lost myself and hallucinated and made the recruits scared...it's what Kayashima said. Seeing those things saved lives. Now I've met one of those lives...maybe, going forward, it won't be so hard to have people accept me as I am. So long as the Captain forgives me...maybe it really is all right, if I'm just myself from now on. Even if that self is a bit weird from time to time.

He sighed heavily.

It also told me that Fukutaichou has settled in at Eleventh. Hearing that man speak, I felt...like he's probably not coming back. I don't like it - having my family broken up like that, and especially with the Captain's position so unclear where I'm concerned. But...that officer...he was happy to have Fukutaichou there. He respected him. I felt like...Eleventh needed that. They need him more than we do - maybe they always will. And that means...I can't fret about it. I'll just get used to the change, I suppose...because it's not just about Thirteenth being safe. It's about other places as well.

"You look very pensive this morning."

A voice from the doorway that led out into the gardens made him jump, and he started, swinging around in surprise to greet the speaker, his eyes wide with disbelief.

Taichou?

At his reaction, the newcomer grinned, offering him a rueful smile.

"I startled you. I'm sorry. I would have thought you'd have sensed me coming - you usually do."

"I was...not really paying attention," Kohaku reddened, finding it suddenly hard to talk as his Captain came striding across the grass towards him. "I...didn't know you were here, sir. I..."

He faltered, biting his lip, and Juushirou came to join him, gazing briefly over the fence and down towards the Fourth District terrain that lay beyond. For a moment, he didn't speak. Then,

"I'm going to have that rear fence nailed up, you know. And its limits raised. No more sneaking out the back way, no matter what."

"Taichou," Kohaku thought it was impossible to go any redder, and Juushirou glanced at him, letting out a heavy sigh.

"You frightened me," he said honestly. "I didn't expect it. You disappointed me, Koku - I thought I could trust you to at least talk to me if something was on your mind."

Kohaku flinched, lowering his gaze miserably to the ground.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, his emotions catching in his throat. "I...I didn't mean...I wasn't..."

"Shunsui told me what you told him, and I understand your motives," Juushirou said briskly. "Your intentions and what happened overall - in dealing with the Soldier - that's not what I'm talking about. In the end, your methodology was sound. And I admit, if you had come to me, I probably wouldn't have wanted to deploy you into that situation. So going behind my back was probably the only way you could. But, because you did, two recruits followed you. I've dealt with them, but it's hard to punish them fully when they were reacting to your insubordination too. They disobeyed your orders, but in their defence, they saw a superior officer breaking bounds and acting inappropriately. Their reaction was wrong, but logical, given that you didn't explain to them what you intended, or how dangerous it would be. And, I think you know yourself, that defying the Captain's orders is serious. It's more serious than what they did - even though I have punished them. You understand, don't you? This isn't like five years ago. You are a shinigami, now, and subject to the hierarchy. Your actions were defiant - and I can't just ignore that."

"Mm," Kohaku jerked his head forward in a nod. "I know. I'm sorry. I really am. I didn't intend to disobey you. Just...Kyouka said if I told you, then you'd come, and you'd get killed, and...and..."

"I'm your Captain, Kohaku," Juushirou spoke softly, but Kohaku flinched at the sound of his full name. "I am there to protect and defend you. Not the other way around."

"Yes, sir," he murmured, and Juushirou eyed him keenly. Slowly he shook his head.

"I was worried sick about you," he admitted, his tone changing from the serious one, and Kohaku raised his gaze, staring at the older man in confusion. At his expression, Juushirou rested his hands on the young man's shoulders.

"As your Captain, I am cross with you," he said gently. "Retsu-sama has told me not to be too harsh on you, and fortunately for you, she holds no grievances about having to come and rescue you when you trespassed on her land. Luckily you chose a Clan who aren't easily offended - but that's not really the point. Had you not been so badly injured, I would have put you in confinement, just like Naoko did with the recruits. As it is, your being at the hospital and then here has meant you've essentially been confined by your own activities. I let Kayashima come to see you, and the recruits too, but more for their peace of mind than yours. I think you probably understand that. Shunsui came to talk to you officially, and I understand he was quite direct with you as well. I've been delayed, but now it's my turn."

"I know that I made you ill," Kohaku's voice trembled slightly. "Kyouraku-taichou said you didn't want me to know, but he told me, because he thought I needed to understand how much pressure my actions put on you. I hated that. I hated that you didn't come, but I hated more that...you didn't come because...I made you ill."

"Did you think I wasn't going to come?" despite himself, Juushirou was taken aback, and Kohaku shrugged.

"I hurt you," he said honestly. "I didn't know, but I felt...afraid. I disobeyed you...I knew you'd be angry...and I didn't..."

That was as far as he managed, as the tears he had been holding back began to spill down his cheeks, and Juushirou sighed, patting the young shinigami on the head as if he were no more than a small child.

"I wouldn't ever discard you. You should know that," he said firmly. "No matter how much of an idiot you are, or how cross I am with your actions. You're an important part of the Division, and you know that - or you should. But you're also like family to me now. I might scold you, and punish you - but I wouldn't discard you. I would have come sooner, but with your brother's trial and then my illness, I couldn't. If you were worrying about that, then you're more silly than I thought. After five years, you should understand - you have a place here for good, no matter how naughty you are."

"Juushirou-dono." Kohaku wiped the tears away with the sleeve of his robe. "Kyouraku-taichou said something...like that...too. That I was...like...a son to you. But I...don't really know what that means. My father...discarded...Katsu-nii...and...I..."

"You are an idiot," Juushirou said resignedly. "All right. Then I suppose you probably have punished yourself more than I could, given that you've been worrying like this all the time. I wasn't going to confine you, anyway. As I said, I feel you did that to yourself. You also look perfectly miserable right now, which is how a disciplined shinigami should look when he disobeys his Captain. But...I don't like that expression. I don't like that you haven't grasped yet how much a part of Thirteenth you are. Lots of people worried about you, this time around. You would have been missed, if you'd thrown your life away. You are important here, and not as some kind of weapon in a twisted plot to take over the world. You're important because you're Koku, and people like you. And I came here today because I intend to take you home, so maybe you'll see that for yourself."

"Home?" Kohaku blinked, and Juushirou nodded.

"Retsu-sama has told me I might as well take you, as there's nothing more she can do for your injuries. They're healing nicely and so long as you don't overdo it, you should fix up fine," he agreed. "If you want to stay here a bit longer, of course..."

"No, sir," Kohaku shook his head fervently. "I want to go home. They've been kind to me, here, and I know I owe the healers my life - but it's also very lonely. I miss everyone. And...I also decided something. I'm not going to throw away my life easily. I'm not going to be reckless any more. I'm going to be stronger, and get to a point where I can fight battles properly with Kyouka Raigen. I shouldn't talk about protecting everyone else if I can't properly protect myself."

"Good words," Juushirou looked approving. "I'm glad to hear you say them, and with so much resolve. Shunsui said he thought you'd made up your mind, but I'm happy to see it for myself."

He gestured to the shade of the trees.

"Before we go back, though, I want to talk to you - about the recruits," he said evenly, and Kohaku shot him an apprehensive glance, but nodded, following his Captain under the branches of the laurel tree, and settling himself down on the grass.

"It's sort of ironic, to be talking under one of these trees," he said pensively, gazing up at the branches. "It's like Katsu-nii is here, listening in, even though I know he's far away in District Six now."

"I suppose it is," Juushirou patted the trunk of the tree. "Keitarou was preoccupied with tree names...Kohaku, Sakaki, and Katsura. Well, if you see it as your brother watching over you, so much for the best. You won't see him now, not often. Ojiisama said that, when you were healed, I could bring you - or send you with someone - on one trip to see him, so you could talk and settle for yourself that he was fine. But after that, both Ojiisama and I feel you and your brother need to live your own lives. Especially Katsura. He's kept going these past five years focused only on your safety and future, but now he has to figure out how to use his life for himself. I think Ojiisama sees a lot of potential in him, with the right guidance, to be a force to protect ordinary people in the Coastal Province, and, having spoken to him myself, I tend to agree. My family are there, too, but I don't feel worried that your brother will hurt them. On the contrary, he helped, during the corpse invasions, to protect homes and areas not far from where kin of mine now live. Given that, I'm open to his having a fresh chance as well. But he needs to stop worrying about you. He needs to let you live your life, and he needs to live his own. I know, if you had another crisis, he'd come again, like he did this time, and that's reassuring - but otherwise, I think it's better for both of you that you are separated. I won't stop you from writing to him, of course, if you want to - but that's all. Reading each other's thoughts may have been a bond borne out of closeness, or just your need for an anchor, growing up. But you aren't a child, now, and I'd like you to try and find your own path...just as he needs to find his."

"It's all right," Kohaku nodded. "I'm used to it, now - us being apart. If he's safe out there, and no longer being hunted, then that's all I need. I love my brother," he added, "but I don't want him to value his life less than mine. He did bad things, and I know it's hurt him - getting over that will be hard enough without him worrying about me as well. I am going to get stronger, anyway, so he won't need to worry. But I would like to see him, at least once - so I can tell him that myself."

"Good lad," Juushirou smiled. "I'm glad you understand. Katsura was probably hurt by your father as badly as you were, but in a different way. I understand why Mitsuki saved him, now. I didn't, five years ago, but now I do. She was right - the person who killed her friends was really Keitarou, using your brother as a tool, like the coward that he was. Now Katsura has a chance to start over - and I think, with Ojiisama to help him, he'll do just that."

He made himself more comfortable on the grass, leaning up against the trunk of the tree.

"In any case, back to Thirteenth," he reflected, and Kohaku nodded his head.

"Yes, sir."

He sighed.

"I guess I let you down there, too. With the recruits."

"Well, you led them into danger, but they did choose to follow," Juushirou looked pensive. "I was a bit at a loss to know what to do, to be honest. But I've spoken to both of them. Yatsubashi in particular was very upset. He asked to leave the Division, but I wouldn't let him do that. I know you've spoken to him since, though - and I'm glad you were able to forgive him. He made a foolish mistake, but we can all do that at times, especially when we're young. You can't say different, given where you are, and why."

"I don't really think I can judge his actions when I let you down," Kohaku owned. "But I did feel he meant it, when he said he was sorry. It felt like a load off my mind, to be honest. I'd felt he didn't like me, but I was too scared to tackle it, in case Kyouka flared up inside of me and I did some harm. I suppose I've been trying to hide my real self from the recruits so much that I made my behaviour more suspicious. I'm not going to do that, any more - but I imagine you don't want me mentoring them now. I'm sort of prepared to be demoted, given everything that happened...so if that's what you want to say, I guess I'm ready for it."

"No, I'm not going to demote you," Juushirou looked thoughtful, and Kohaku sent him a startled glance.

"Not? But I almost got them killed!"

"Yes, but you also almost got yourself killed making sure they survived," Juushirou shot him a fond glance, amusement in his hazel eyes. "You don't do things by halves, that's for sure. Of course, I'm not advocating that you should repeat either of those circumstances going forward - but I think the solution to the problem isn't demotion. I don't want to do that, Koku - because more than anything I think this proves you need more time dealing with subordinates, not less. Also, you've shown a will to deal with them now. I spoke to both Yatsubashi and Naniwa following their visit here. They both said they'd asked to spar with you in future, and you'd agreed. You're already thinking ahead and you've included them in those plans, even given the incident you all went through. It also told me they weren't afraid of you, despite what they experienced. That means they understood that you're not someone they need to fear, not even now they know how powerful you are."

He smiled slightly.

"We were intending to arrange sub-patrols this summer, but circumstances have delayed it," he concluded. "Now, it will be at the end of the summer, but it will still happen. I still intend you and Kayashima to have that experience."

"Of leading a sub-patrol? With recruits?" Kohaku looked anxious, and Juushirou nodded.

"The recruits have already been told that this will happen, once everything settles down," he agreed. "They seem quite eager for this. Most of the work will be relating to supplies, to search and rescue, to repairs following Hollow attacks, and so on. Sometimes, sub-patrols will go as part of a main patrol, where a Hollow will be taken down and then you and your recruits will be responsible for shelter, damage control and anything else that is needed in those areas. I don't want recruits fighting Hollows in the field, so you might be called on in an emergency to protect them with your blade - but your main duties as a sub-patrol on your own will be to follow up on damage caused and evacuation needs. I'm very serious about protecting the population and looking after them even when the Hollow is gone, and that's what I intend these sub-patrols to do."

"It sounds like fun," Kohaku confessed, and Juushirou chuckled.

"I suspect many officers would be much more excited at the prospect of fighting a Hollow, but I like that your attention is on helping the people recover afterwards," he said warmly. "In any case, what I wanted to discuss with you was this. Naoko and I will make the final decisions as regards which recruits are in which patrol. We're agreed - potentially - that Kayashima will take one patrol, with Izumi as his second, and you'll take the other, with Furuta to back you up. I've spoken this morning to Izumi and Furuta about this, and both have agreed to take it on. I've also already tackled Kayashima on the subject, and - so long as he keeps his temper - I don't have any worries about him. I'm fairly confident that, if he did lose his temper in the field, Izumi is probably well placed to handle it. She has a surprisingly commanding presence, considering her lack of speech, and I think it will help her to make herself understood with newer division members, if she's working with subordinates regularly. Having talked to the recruits, both Naniwa and Yatsubashi came to me and strongly requested to be put in your patrol. I wanted to know what you thought about it - because, given everything, I feel it would be wrong to send you out with a team you didn't feel you could command."

"They asked...to be with me?" Kohaku was floored, and Juushirou nodded.

"I haven't told them yes, nor no, just that we haven't settled on the patrols yet," he replied. "But, it seems like, coming back from visiting you, they both made up their minds that this was what they wanted. You might have scared them, and probably poisoned them with your reiryoku, but they still trust you. I think Yatsubashi wants to prove himself to you - and Naniwa seems very fond of you anyway. I believe he didn't lose faith in you, and I know you've already trained with him before."

"Yes," Kohaku agreed. "But...I suppose I didn't expect that."

He sighed, shrugging his shoulders.

"I need more experience, working with recruits. I also need to not run away from difficult situations or challenges," he admitted. "Yatsubashi is strong-willed and I think, commanding him would be a challenge. Whether he's always going to respond to my instructions without my needing to reinforce them - I don't know. I realise I have to work on being assertive, else it would be easy to be swept up in his momentum. It's not about the Aizen thing any more, I think he's got past that - but he's a leader among the others, so taking control of his actions is really important if I'm going to lead them. I felt that a bit when I had control of them briefly on one of Fukutaichou's patrols. True, at that point, he didn't trust me, but the discipline almost fell apart because of something Yatsubashi said. Given that, even if he now respects me, it's probably going to be hard work."

"Is that a refusal or an acceptance?" Juushirou asked, and Kohaku smiled ruefully.

"The latter, probably," he replied. "I think it will be tough, but I won't run from it. More, I won't reject him. He cried, when he came to see me. I understood how he felt, because I felt like that, not being able to see you and talk to you like this about what happened. Maybe in some ways we have things in common. He respects you a whole lot too, just like me. And...I have forgiven him. More, I feel like I should work with him. Fukutaichou went to Eleventh because he felt he'd begun it, so needed to see it through, didn't he? This is the same for me. For better or worse, Yatsubashi, Naniwa and I now share a bond and a memory none of the other Thirteenth members have. We all experienced Death at close quarters, and it will probably stay with all of us. For that reason, I probably need to work with Yatsubashi and Naniwa both. I made their early time here a bit abnormal. I need to help normalise it, so it doesn't traumatise them longterm."

"I see," Juushirou eyed Kohaku thoughtfully. "That was a good response, and I'm happy to hear it. I did hope you'd agree, because I feel the same way. They will benefit from being with you...and so will you. As you say, Yatsubashi is stubborn and he's a natural leader who could, if he was so inclined, be disruptive. But I did feel that he had a newfound respect for you - and I suspect, if he put that to work, he'll actually be a valuable ally in the field in helping manage the other recruits. Where he leads, they tend to follow - although I believe Naniwa now realises that sometimes he has to stand up and stop his friend from being reckless. Naniwa has all the common sense you might need in a future officer - so, if you take them both, I think you'll find it easier."

"I'll take them both, if you think it would help," Kohaku nodded. "It might be part of my punishment, dealing with recruits more, rather than less - but I actually want to. Next year, there'll be another intake. I can't go through this same issue every time. Next year, I want them to understand from the start who I am and why I'm here, and that I won't tolerate them questioning it, or my authority. If I can build on what happened this time, maybe, by next Spring, I'll be confident enough to do that in the way you would want."

"Then I suppose we should head back to Thirteenth," Juushirou reached up to grab a lower tree branch, using it to haul himself to his feet and then holding out his hand to Kohaku. The young man reached out his right fist to grasp hold of his Captain's, allowing himself to be pulled upright.

"I'll go change, then, and get Kyouka Raigen," he suggested, his eyes sparkling. "I really can't wait to go back - even if I can't do full drill for a while till my shoulder properly heals. It will be good to be home again...and this time, I promise, I won't let you down."


Author's Note:

We're almost there, people. Just the epilogue left now...