A/N: Can it just be the next quarter already? Like, I'm over these classes already, I wanna start the next ones. Aside from me taking up running on Sundays, my life has been pretty much uneventful. (I've gotten three chapters written for my own story, and I'm almost done outlining it all!) Overall, I just really want it to be Summer already. (Mostly because that's when the RWBY soundtracks come out and I can't survive on just thirty seconds of a song I really want much longer.)
Thanks to Iceshadow46 and drizzlytidings-ninetails for following and adding this story as a favorite!
Reviews
Question Answer (Guest)- I think I can live without… taste. Maybe then I won't be so picky with food XD. I cannot live without sight; as much as I joke about being blind, once I have my glasses and I can actually see things, I don't want to imagine being without it. Like, even with a blurry vision, I just, idk. I know there are ways to make life easier for people without vision, but still. I'd rather have it. Thank you! I hope I didn't keep you waiting too long.
silhouette amongst stars- Oh dear, that's not gonna end well. Fun fact; I don't spend two weeks writing a chapter. Very rarely will I write that ahead of time. On the week that I don't upload, I spend writing other things (like my own story) and if I were to write another fanfiction, it would most likely go on this week. But on the week's I do upload, I still have a consistent schedule to follow with school work and working out and other stuff that I usually only get to write in short increments (Last chapter I wrote in the span of three days; from Wednesday and then editing/finishing on Friday before uploading). Well, I assume it would burn, it's chemicals ain't it? XD My sleep schedule isn't the greatest either, there are some days where I'll just… wake up. In the middle of the night. Wide awake. For no reason. Leafstar's just a beast on the battlefield, this's been established. Physically, he's the strongest and from those three has the most physical endurance. He can take a lot of damage and still keep going. Teamwork makes the dreamwork!... In most cases. *Keep in mind Leafy was still gonna keep going, so if they hadn't run away, they would've most definitely lost.* I don't normally like patting myself on the back for things I write, but that bit with the kits inside of them reaching for each other, I really enjoyed writing it once I thought about it. I just had to include it. LOL, I can just picture Leafstar doing that, just to say a big f*** you to everybody XD. Yeah, yeah he died. Rip Blue. Sooty's just a big ball of anxious energy now, he's ready to snap at any moment's notice. Tis' a mystery indeed. The almost-fluff was a decent change of pace, it was rather refreshing (especially the sadness that was Blue Berry earlier before that). I think I could live without taste- I could eat everything without complaining about it haha. I'm a very picky person. Wow… How in the world did you manage to do all that? XD Oof, now that you put it that way, I don't think I could live without touch either. Hmm, but losing my sight is just as bad so… Good thing this is all hypothetical. Wrote that much in three-ish days (about… 8-ish hours between those days?) I'm a fast typer, especially when there's an exciting part (like the fight between Leafy and the three kids).
Nightsky of FlameClan- Ah yes, the worst curse of them all. Waiting for me to stop being lazy and get out the next chapter XD. Thank you!
SnailPaw (Guest)- Hooray! Yeah, sowwy about that. If I could write every week for this, I would, but sometimes, I just need a small mental break from it. Writing other things helps with that (and also helps me come up with cool new ideas and methods to include in the next chapter). I is the best monster (muahahaha). I have accepted the fact that I'm an evil person, just for what I put my characters through. Ah, well. There is worse fates XD. Hmm… Maybe… Shadowclan? Idk, I never read the main series, so like the only things I briefly know are the territories/environments of each (and that Thunderclan were always the heroes for some reason). I like pine trees so meh. Hey, don't call yourself a saddo. (How happy would it make you if I put your character in here as a cameo?) Enjoy!
KyubiMaster9- Quick, the Berrypaw Protection Squad needs to roll out! (Flarekitty where are you?!) Jokes aside, yeah, Berry's life is gonna be not so happy, not so easy anymore from here on out. Hmm, good question. No, your "trash memory" is working fine. XD Roseberry willingly chose to become a Medicine Cat, even though she was a Royal. Being a Cripple is a permanent rank, though nothing is really stopping her from helping Blossomleaf (so like, a Medicine Cat apprentice, but without the name?)
Feathershade- Ah, yeah. That was me deleting something from an old story, don't worry about it. I probably shouldn't have even messed with it but XD Oh well.
Hi (Guest)- Aww, you're so sweet. In regards to that, I'm fine for now. Luckily for me, I only take online classes regardless, so that hasn't really been an issue for me, and so far nobody that I know of has it. So, I'm safe. I'll keep you guys updated in case anything happens though. Thanks for asking and I hope you're doing well too :) Stay safe guys, times are tough right now.
Thanks to everybody who reviewed, followed, and added this story as a favorite!
Let's get started!
…
Forestclan
…
Cherrypaw doesn't like the bitter taste that still sits on her tongue from the night before.
There, sitting in front of the Grand Royal with the rest of the clan at their back, the three apprentices formed a line. Shoulders back, head raised and fur groomed to perfection- or, in Bramblepaw's case, groomed to be at least presentable- Cherrypaw tried her best to hide a grimace of discomfort. The various aches and pains and bruises from their battle against the leader twinge uncomfortably, and if it weren't a requirement to stand in front of the clan this morning, Cherrypaw would still be asleep.
Strangely enough, it is the ache in her chest that hurts her the most, and she has to force the smile on her face to remain there just a little bit longer. That was fine, she decided, she's used to forcing a smile on her face. Nothing's changed.
Except, everything was about to change.
It confused her why she wasn't as happy as she thought she would be. Out of the corner of her eye on her right, the one who had caused the pain in her chest sat and looked downright miserable. Still, Berrypaw deserved praise for the effort it most likely took for her to drag herself out here this morning. The blue-furred apprentice hardly spared her a glance, dark green eyes unfocused as they stared blankly at the leader as Leafstar made the introductions to this clan meeting. Cherrypaw really should be paying attention, but she can't.
She can't because there's a small part of her mind, weak and feeble and withered and dying, that's crying for the one who had been her first real friend.
Crying because it was Cherrypaw herself that had hurt her the most, betrayed her the most, and that small, insignificant part of herself wants to spew a thousand apologies. The black and grey apprentice's smile twitched with the restraint to hide a scowl. Even now, the dying, lonely kit inside of her was trying to reach out for Berrypaw.
It's not fair, she thinks, thoughts poisoned by the purity that was the kit, She never deserved any of it.
She did, Cherrypaw wants to argue, icy gaze narrowing as they trailed after Leafstar as she paced in front of the three apprentices, she did deserve it. For standing in the way of my world.
Yes, it was within her grasp. Becoming a Grand Royal was naught but a few more steps away, and Cherrypaw couldn't have felt more proud of herself. Well, she wished she was proud of herself.
Victory was within reach, and yet, she didn't feel right reaching out to try and grab it. It felt wrong; Cherrypaw wanted the kit inside of her to just stop fighting and die already so the pain in her chest and the churning guilt in her stomach could go away. It would be easier, she believes, if she was truly as cold-hearted as Jinx had been.
She wonders why it is so easy for others to walk away without ever looking back, and why she's the one who hesitates and constantly looks over her shoulder at the one she's leaving. Yes, being cruel would be easier than this.
Because now it's too late to take back her actions, her words, her behavior, her little game of pretend- Cherrypaw was too far into the act, she couldn't find a way out even if she looked. (And a small part of her was looking, searching for that exit that didn't seem to exist anymore.)
"While it is truly in my belief that all three of you still deserve to be my apprentices, I'm afraid the time has come for me to say farewell to one of you," Cherrypaw's ears perked as she forced her guilt and her thoughts and her heartache away to focus on Leafstar's next words, because the Grand Royal had stopped pacing and that was a sure sign that the moment she had been waiting for was here.
The moment where one of them would be demoted. (And if things went her way, Cherrypaw already knew who it was.)
Leafstar's light green gaze flickered between the three of them- a curious gleam in them that Cherrypaw couldn't quite decipher. Funny, the black and grey apprentice didn't know if it was a trick of the light or something, but she thinks she could see a distressed frown on the Grand Royal's face. Only for a second.
It must have been the light.
"The three of you exhibited great courage and valiant hearts in last night's trial," Leafstar paused, a gentle smile appearing on her face, "and there is little doubt in my mind that wherever fate takes you next, wherever the path our ancestors have laid for you leads you, you will all be marvelous."
Fate. Cherrypaw almost felt like scoffing, but she knew that would be quite unprofessional of her. The she-cat didn't believe in fate; well, not quite as strictly as others did. She had let fate play out for her before and it brought her nothing but pain and suffering.
And then, she had decided to take destiny into her own paws, and now look where she was; one step closer to being the leader of Forestclan. (She ignored the ache in her chest that said she was still in pain regardless. Unlike before, this pain was and would be worth it.)
"Now, without further ado," Leafstar took in a deep breath, the rest of the clan holding theirs, and her eyes turned to the light brown tom on Cherrypaw's left side first. "Bramblepaw; you are the very personification of what it means to be a brave Forestclan warrior. Your strength and determination guide you ever further, you achieve victory even when all seems lost. There is still much for you to learn… and I wish to give you that chance so you can undoubtedly grow into the most powerful warrior of your generation."
Leafstar nodded her head once, flicking her tail to the space beside her. "To my side, Grand Royal Bramblepaw. You will remain in the running."
Cherrypaw would, without a doubt, bring up the quiet sigh of relief that escaped the tom before he stood up, tall and proud, and walked forward as the deafening cheers of the clan erupted behind them. She quashed the flicker of happiness in her chest as soon as it came up, fighting the smile from the kit inside with a dismissive hiss. She couldn't be happy for him anymore.
Starting today, Cherrypaw would have to start treating him even more as a piece in her game. Whatever remnants of a friendship that stood between them would only get in the way now. Knowing him, as devoted as he was to her at this point, it wouldn't be too difficult to manipulate him, but still. She would be lying if she said she didn't feel the slightest bit of remorse.
Don't, she growled to herself, This has to be done. It had been the plan from the very beginning to use him to help her get rid of Berrypaw. Now, his purpose was done.
Now, she could toss him aside. (That thought hurt looking at the beaming happiness on his face, something even he- who always seemed to hide anything that wasn't anger or irritation- couldn't hide at the moment.)
Once the cheers died down enough, even if it did take unnecessarily longer than Cherrypaw thought it should've, Leafstar nodded to herself before, suddenly, those light green eyes were on her.
Cherrypaw felt her body twitch with the need to flinch, and she mentally patted herself on the back for succeeding in hiding it. Mind over matter.
"Cherrypaw," Leafstar began, mouth opening before closing again as she let out a short breath. The black and grey she-cat didn't know how to feel about that smile turning softer. No, it most certainly didn't make Cherrypaw gush internally. (Except, it sort of did.) "I believe I speak for all of us when I say you have certainly proven those who used to doubt you wrong. You have grown into an astounding, intelligent young apprentice, and you are shaping up to be an even greater warrior."
Cherrypaw hadn't been nervous earlier, but at this moment, she couldn't deny the anxiety. She stopped breathing as Leafstar's tail flicked to her free side, opposite of Bramblepaw, and her heart twinged with something like relief at that sight.
"I believe I can help you become just that, and you have more than earned that opportunity for yourself. To my side, Grand Royal Cherrypaw."
On shaky paws, the black and grey she-cat stood up, subconsciously aware of the clan shouting their excitement at her back. Even as she took that first step forward, out of the corner of her eye, she could see Berrypaw raising her head higher, dark green eyes finally focusing on what exactly was happening around her; and suddenly, the cheering of the rest of the clan was drowned by the sobbing of the kit. Her head would start hurting soon with all of this noise. Numbly, the she-cat found her way to Leafstar's side, turning stiffly around and sitting back down, facing the others this time, and it just made the pain in her chest hurt even more as Berrypaw's eyes met hers.
Look what you've done to her! The kit screamed, outraged in defense of her friend, their friend, You broke her.
Still, Berrypaw- being Berrypaw- somehow found the strength to smile at her. Smile! After all, Cherrypaw had done, she could still smile for her! The momentary sweetness she had felt from her relief at winning was immediately replaced by the same bitterness as before, stronger even.
Before the clan could rush at them, to get closer and beg to share tongues with the remaining Grand Royal apprentices, Leafstar stopped them with a raise of her paw. The meeting wasn't over yet, and as much as Cherrypaw wanted to run out of camp to find a safe place to scream, she was forced to sit there. No longer able to meet those dark green eyes, the black and grey she-cat looked down at her paws.
"Berrypaw," Leafstar's voice became that much more tender, and a glance at her leader revealed a sad frown on her face. Cherrypaw wondered if the Grand Royal felt like apologizing to her too. "My decision today doesn't make you a lesser warrior than you truly are. No matter your rank, you are indubitably the most loyal, kind-hearted, and spirited warrior of your age. Wherever your path takes you now, know that our ancestors, and I, will be watching over you."
Berrypaw blinked at her leader, perhaps surprised at being directly addressed this time. Most often than not, when one of the apprentices was demoted from the rank of Grand Royal apprentice, those who lost were simply dismissed. From where she sat, Cherrypaw could already see the disdain appearing on the faces of the warriors.
Berrypaw bowed her head once, meeting her leader's gaze firmly before speaking with a sad smile, "I understand, Grand Royal."
And then, as if purposefully trying to worsen the pain in Cherrypaw's chest, the blue-furred Cripple turned her eyes to the both of them. "My congratulations to the winners."
It would've been so much easier to handle it if those words didn't hold the weight of truth. Berrypaw, despite everything, truly felt proud of them, and Cherrypaw bit her tongue to hold in the whimper. The kit inside of her had gone silent, perhaps it truly was dead now, but somehow, the pain was still there.
There was a hollow in her chest and Cherrypaw didn't know how to fill it to make herself whole again. (She didn't think it would be possible anymore.)
"Give it up to our Grand Royal apprentices!" Leafstar shouted afterward, taking a step back- a signal that the meeting was officially over- and in an instant, Bramblepaw and Cherrypaw were bombarded by their clanmates. The shouts of their names were constant, and the noise level did nothing to reflect on the small size of their clan. No matter the number, Forestclan knew how to celebrate.
Cherrypaw wasn't listening to any of them, her eyes sifting through the crowd in front of her, surrounding her, until icy blue found dark green again. Berrypaw had remained in her spot, well not exactly her spot because she had been unceremoniously shoved aside to make space for the others, but she hadn't left yet. From where she stood, Berrypaw mouthed congratulations and sent another small smile. The blue-furred apprentice hovered on the outside of the circle, looking a little lost, and Cherrypaw didn't understand why she felt the desire to go to her and pull her into the crowd as well.
It will only be fair, she tried to reason with herself, She helped all of us when we felt lost as kits.
She quickly shook her head and looked away, pretending to smile and nod along to the ramblings and gushing and fawning of her clanmates (funny, she thought she was done with this moment of her life), and when she looked back, Berrypaw wasn't there anymore.
And for the first time in a long, long time, even in the midst of the rest of her clan, Cherrypaw was fully aware of just how lonely she was.
…
"Ahh! Victory's never felt so good," the tom sprawled out in front of her on the ground, stretching against the cold snow in a patch of weak sunlight. How he wasn't freezing, Cherrypaw didn't know, but Bramblepaw always seemed to be ridiculously warm all the time. The she-cat couldn't help but wrinkle her nose at him, Bramblepaw was unaware of the look as he let out a relaxed, satisfied sigh. She hummed her agreement, though mostly just to make it seem like she was listening.
She wasn't. Ever since the ceremony, the bitterness hadn't left her tongue, and it was starting to really annoy her. Even taking a drink from a thawing little pond in their territory or placing some snow in her mouth to melt did nothing to take it away. Perhaps this is what she deserved (but if she was being honest with herself, she probably deserved far worse than having to taste that undesirable flavor all the time).
"Did you see when the Artisans tried to attack her?" It only dawned on her that Bramblepaw probably had been talking this entire time, and his question brought her back from her glooming thoughts with a start. There was a gleam in his green eyes as she glanced down at him, equal parts annoyed and equal parts amused. Amused, because it truly hadn't taken long for the warriors to turn on the demoted Cripple.
Annoyed, because Berrypaw had done something none of the Artisans- nor anyone else for that matter- had been expecting.
She fought back.
Sparrowfoot and his apprentice, Coalpaw, as well as Silverfeather, had been the first out of everyone to step on the newest Low Rank of the clan, one that was lower than even them. (Well, try to at least.) Berrypaw had just been on her way out of camp, carrying with her a small bundle of herbs in her mouth (she was probably helping Blossomleaf to look for more, now having nothing better to do), when the three Artisans approached her. The suspense that hung in the air was tainted with anticipation, everybody in the clearing at the time staring at what was about to transpire with bated breaths.
Once a Low Rank was attacked one time, it encouraged everyone else to do it too. All it took was that first incident to spark a chain reaction, giving the go-ahead for the others to follow in the pawsteps of the assailant.
Cherrypaw, too, had been watching the entire thing from where she was soaking up the weak sunlight and picking the feathers off of a small bird in a vain attempt to get rid of the bitterness on her tongue. It had been her only moment of reprieve from the fawning.
The Grand Royal apprentice hardly bothered to listen to whatever words were coming from Sparrowfoot, the scrawny tom apparently the leader in this entire ordeal. His insults could hardly count as insults- compared to some of the things the High Ranks said about Berrypaw, the Artisan was quite nice.
Coalpaw had been the first to charge forward, claws shining and glinting in the sunlight as he moved without permission and without warning. The only Artisan apprentice was perhaps the cockiest tom Cherrypaw had ever seen; always picking on the Commoners and stealing their food or dragging their nests out of their scraggly dens just to laugh in their faces. The Commoners, being Commoners, never did anything to fight back because they were scared of the tom.
And even though Berrypaw was a Cripple, undeniably below a Commoner, she wasn't scared of an Artisan.
It was almost comical how smoothly the demoted she-cat took a step to the side, bringing one of her paws up to smack the tom across his face and send him collapsing to the ground. Coalpaw hit the snow with a muffled thud, and the silence that followed in the clearing was broken by his quiet whimper.
Perhaps it was the grace that Berrypaw moved with or the calmness on her face, but suddenly, as if flipping a switch, Silverfeather and Sparrowfoot didn't look so willing to try and hurt her anymore. They were reminded that up until moments ago, just that morning, she had been a Grand Royal apprentice. How they could forget so easily, Cherrypaw didn't know, and the laugh that escaped her chest came out in a scoff.
"You're welcome to try again," Berrypaw had spoken in a nonchalant tone, tired if anything, "but if you're going to attack me with your claws, then next time, I'll do the same."
I may be a Cripple now, her words had said to everyone listening, but I am not weak, and I will fight back.
Try me, cowards; go ahead and try me.
Cherrypaw had finished her meal with a pleased smile on her face after that.
"Honestly," the she-cat blew out a sigh, icy blue eyes meeting Bramblepaw's green with a shake of her head, "did they really expect to scare her? Right now, she's practically only a Cripple by name, not by mindset. If they really are that eager to attack her, they should've let a High Rank do it first."
Except, none of the High Ranks seemed to want to step up first. The Noble apprentices were far too nice (out of all of them, perhaps Hawkpaw would be the most likely to attack Berrypaw) and the two Noble warriors were equally as scared of her skill as anybody else.
Cherrypaw wondered how long it would take before Heatherpaw and Swiftpaw made their move- the former always looked like she was itching to start a problem with the blue-furred she-cat, and the latter would follow her anywhere. The Royal warriors were each egging each other on to do it first (Cherrypaw knew even they were intimidated by the idea).
"I can scare her," Bramblepaw spoke up, a wicked grin appearing on his face, and Cherrypaw couldn't help but roll her eyes at his enthusiasm. Of course, that was always an option, but-
"Keep in mind what it would do to your image as a Grand Royal apprentice," the she-cat pointed out, "wasting your precious time on a Low Rank instead of training."
It was a really thin line they walked on now, really; either the rest of the clan would praise Bramblepaw for putting a Low Rank in their place, or they would admonish him for ever squandering his time with even the thought of a Low Rank. It could go either way and personally, Cherrypaw didn't want to take the chances for it going wrong.
Bramblepaw though?
"I think I'll do it tomorrow."
Out of the two of them, he cared more about his personal desire for revenge (whatever twisted sense of the word it had become now to him) than his image at the moment.
"You do whatever you want, Oak," the she-cat shrugged, and for some reason, that annoyed Bramblepaw.
He shifted onto his side, raising himself up slightly and narrowing his eyes at her incredulously. "You mean, you don't want to join me?"
"It's a waste of my time," Cherrypaw tried to reason; with him and with herself. She didn't want to admit that she didn't want to help him because she didn't want to hurt Berrypaw. At least, not with her own claws.
"So, that's it?" Bramblepaw huffed, sitting up even more until they were eye-level, and she could feel his annoyance towards her radiating off of him in waves. "I thought you wanted her to-"
"I wanted her out of the way," Cherrypaw cut him off, her teeth clenching and ears falling flat for a moment. "Now that she's out of the way, I don't care about her. You want to keep hurting her? Fine, go ahead. I don't care, Bramblepaw, I don't care."
Too much, too much, she scolded herself, because her careful game of pretend, the game she's been playing for as long as she could remember, was slowly falling apart before her eyes and Cherrypaw was scrambling to try and hold it together. There were cracks in the many masks she had made for herself and now the hollow space left behind by the light that was once there was becoming more and more visible.
Darn, she was almost starting to miss the kit inside of her now, and that bitterness on her tongue still hadn't gone away.
"I don't know what's gotten into you," Bramblepaw spoke with narrowed eyes, lips curling distastefully, "but you've gotten more and more hesitant now. Why do I feel like you're bailing on me?"
Because I am, she couldn't say that out loud, I have to leave you behind too.
Because now with Berrypaw gone, you are the only one standing in my way, Bramblepaw.
And I will tear you down just like I tore her down.
"You know I'm always here for you, Oak," Cherrypaw slipped on her mask of a temptress, stepping ever closer to him and brushing her muzzle across his forehead with a purr. "It's you and I against the world. I've just… had a lot on my mind lately. With my parents gone…"
"Robinwing is still here," Bramblepaw pointed out with a grumble, ears drooping as he let out a heavy sigh.
"Oak, he didn't even come up to congratulate me today," she frowned, hiding her face against the crook of his shoulder and letting out a shaky breath. It almost scared her how great of an actress she was. "He's always been that way, you know that."
"Yeah… Yeah," the tom mumbled before pulling her closer as well, pressing his nose into the side of her neck and inhaling gently. She succeeded in hiding the urge to pull away from him then. "I'm sorry. I guess everyone's emotions have been crazy lately."
"Things will go back to normal soon, trust me," Cherrypaw pulled away so their eyes could meet, an alluring smile on her face that made the tom blow out a chuckle, his green eyes searching hers. It almost hurt, seeing the devotion in his eyes and knowing she was going to have to use that against him soon.
"I always trust you, Cherrypaw."
She pouted. "Then why did you question me earlier?"
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it, I'm just…" Bramblepaw sighed, sending her an apologetic smile. "Eager to move on, I guess."
"I can tell," she let out a loose chuckle, quickly darting forward to give his cheek a lick before standing up and sauntering away. As usual, he was quick to scramble to his paws, trailing after her. With him a step behind her, he wasn't able to see the frown on her face, the furrow of her brows, the guilt in her eyes.
This is for the best.
I'll have to think of a way to get rid of him too, but for now, just keep him distracted.
And what better way to distract him than…
"Tell you what, I'll help make the perfect opportunity for you to hurt Berrypaw to your heart's content. Hmm?"
Glancing back at him, the enraptured grin on his face made a chill roll down her spine. The tom was dangerous, but as long as he did what she said, Cherrypaw was safe. For now.
"What do you have in mind?"
And for now, she would have to continue using Berrypaw as a buffer, throwing all of his frustrations on to her. Blinding him with his hate and disgust for the Cripple while she worked in the shadows to lead him to his own demise as well.
She was getting used to the bitterness on her tongue. Good.
It would only get worse from now on.
…
Blazeclan
…
"Umm… remind me again why we're doing this in the middle of the day?"
"Is something wrong?"
"Well, you know… What if someone finds us? We- I mean, you normally go here at night."
Flarepaw paused in her steps to glance back at Sootpaw, who was trailing behind her with a nervousness that he didn't show often. It was quite adorable; as much as she liked his confident smiles and playful attitude, a shy Sootpaw was a rarity she found she enjoyed just as much. Shaking her head, the she-cat sent him a reassuring smile.
"There are many reasons we're doing this now instead of later; one, Redstar said not to wander around at night, and I'm taking his warning seriously. Two, now is the time where most of the High Ranks are preoccupied with combined training, so the likelihood of one of them coming across us at the moment is low. And three…" she hesitated at that, her smile slowly falling before she glanced up ahead on the path, "if I don't do this now, I won't be able to bring myself to do it later."
Sootpaw listened to her quietly before blowing out a short huff, stepping closer to her and brushing his flank against hers.
"Alright then," he said, "continue leading the way."
He gave a playful, dramatic bow in her direction, and Flarepaw returned it with a bow of her head before chuckling and walking along, the tom close to her side this time instead of a step behind. His energy was contagious, and she found herself walking with more surety than before. You make me brave, Sootpaw. She just hoped it would be enough.
"Do you really think we should be that worried though?" Sootpaw suddenly asked after a moment of silence, a curious pull to his lips. "To completely ban walking around at night? I thought the Grand Royal wanted to find these rogues."
"If the rumors are true and they are the same ones that attacked both Stormclan and Forestclan already, then we should be a bit worried at least." Although, in those cases, Flarepaw suspected whoever had been attacked was greatly outnumbered. In a one-on-one fight, if she were to take Frost as a basis for the others' skill level, the apprentice was happy with her chances of winning. (Even if she was outnumbered by them, unless any one of them managed to land a hit on her, Flarepaw was certain she could still win.)
"And he is sending out patrols at night to look for them and draw them out. He just doesn't want anyone else interfering with that."
"Ah well, that makes more sense." Sootpaw glanced at her out of the corner of his eye. "What was it like?"
"Huh?"
"The rogue, you caught one right?" He continued, concern shining in the sunset. "From what I heard, you were in the Prisoner's Den all throughout the night."
"I'd rather forget what I learned," Flarepaw quickly added before he could ask, "and please don't ask me to evaluate on that. I'm technically not allowed to talk about it, but I won't be able to deny that look on your face."
The grin that appeared on his lips was much too self-satisfied and he shot her a playful wink that made her roll her eyes fondly. "I do have an adorable face, don't I."
"You do and it's annoying and entirely unfair."
"Well, now you know what it feels like whenever I look at you."
Sometimes she wonders what exactly she did in a past life to deserve Sootpaw in this one. It was the little moments, really.
And there weren't enough of those.
The sight of the dead willow tree made her immediately freeze up, body reacting on its own as she stumbled to a stop, the breath leaving her lungs as quickly as the peaceful atmosphere dissolved around them. Faintly, she could feel Sootpaw come to a stop as well, turning his head to her with an encouraging smile.
Flarepaw knew the moment she had left camp and met up with Sootpaw that this would be her final time here. That's what she intended it to be, at least; she was here to say goodbye. A goodbye that they deserved and hadn't received yet.
Perhaps it was because of this knowledge, this air of finality that surrounded her head, that made her take longer to simply walk into the clearing. But alas, she did, putting one paw in front of the other, steps no longer silent and now heavy with the weight she pretended she didn't carry all the time.
Sootpaw was a step behind her again, and she didn't know whether she wanted him to stay at her back or move to her side. Either way, his warmth that his presence offered stirred her frozen demeanor, thawing as she took those steps forward, and suddenly, she was there.
The graves sat in the shade of the dead tree, still free from snow from before. Three of them now, after such a long time of there being only two, and the sight of the third only managed to re-ignite the burning pain in her chest. Her tongue felt heavy and it was difficult to breathe, and she wondered why it was so hard to simply be there. (Maybe because it was intended to be the last time.)
Normally, now was the time to speak, and just for old times sake, Flarepaw cleared her throat.
"Hello again," the words jumped off her tongue heavily, her voice breathless, and she didn't know why it was so hard to speak now. Pushing through, Flarepaw swallowed thickly. "I… I brought someone with me this time. It's Sootpaw, I've… I've talked about him before, I think. He's…"
She trailed off again and sent an almost desperate glance to the tom standing behind her. Sootpaw's ears twitched, hesitating only for a moment before he padded up to join her at her side. His shoulder brushed against hers, a reassuring action, and Flarepaw found it a bit easier to breathe.
Never before had she brought someone along with her; never Darkpaw, never Sagepaw. Those who wandered across her here were all accidental and Flarepaw herself never invited them to her side. If anything, if anybody were to wander in, she always took up a defensive stance in front of them, providing a physical barrier between the intruder and the graves. Even if she did bring someone, she never expected them to say anything. This was her way of coping, so all of the imaginary company she dreamed of bringing always remained silent.
But not Sootpaw.
"Hello," Flarepaw blinked as she turned her silver gaze to the tom at her side. He wasn't looking at her, his eyes were only on the graves. "It's… It's very nice to meet you. Before anything else, I just want to say thank you; for helping to raise her to be the best she could be. I know she's still not done growing, and I imagine you'd want to be here, but um… I just- Don't worry… about her. I know I can't replace any of you, and I'm not trying to, but I'm here for her. I won't let her down and I promise to always be by her side. She's not alone, and I won't let her be alone anymore."
Flarepaw was speechless. The world was just as silent, and Sootpaw shuffled his paws a bit uncomfortable before he turned his gaze to her, giving a sheepish smile.
"I'm sorry, I didn't know if I was allowed to talk but, I just… I wanted to say that."
Oh Sootpaw, she was quiet as she pressed closer to him, his body turning so they could embrace properly as she buried her face into his chest, What have I done to deserve you?
"I'm sorry-"
"Don't," she was aware her voice was strained with emotions, but she didn't care at this point, sniffling, "don't apologize. You… You did everything right. Thank you."
"Oh." He paused before nuzzling the top of her head, "you welcome."
In the back of her mind, she thinks she could hear Willowflame and Flamepaw and Darkpaw purring. Out of the corner of her eye, she could trick herself into thinking she could see them sitting there, with smiles on their faces and joy in their eyes. Of course. All they ever wanted was for her to be happy, to find someone who could make her happy and would help her find her own happiness.
Of course. They wouldn't judge either of them; not because she was a Grand Royal apprentice and he was a Commoner. All that mattered was that they loved each other, and the amount of love she had for him damn near scared her.
She had loved Willowflame and Flamepaw, sure, but those had been different. Her love for Sagepaw was similar to there's and though her love for Darkpaw was slightly different, it wasn't anything like what she felt for Sootpaw.
He's the one. If Willowflame were here, she would spend countless hours seeking advice from her mother about this, these unfamiliar desires and emotions. He's the one I want to spend the rest of my life with.
Rank be damned.
"Sootpaw," she pulled back slowly, "I-"
And just like so many times before, no peaceful moment could ever last forever before it was ruined.
"What is he doing here?"
A gasp escaped the she-cat's lips, and she could feel Sootpaw stiffen from where their bodies still touched, and a glance up at the Commoner's face revealed narrowed eyes and a sunset hue that burned with anger. It probably would've scared her if she wasn't confused at seeing it, and soon as she glanced behind her shoulder, her own anger began to kindle as well.
Wildfire stood paces away from the two, fangs bared and eyes livid and she could never remember a time where he looked so angry at her before. Strange.
His tone was accusatory as he snarled, "why did you bring him here?"
Here? Flarepaw took a glance towards the graves, and- oh. Here. To the memorial of her deceased mother and brother.
To the resting place of Wildfire's mate and his son. Perhaps it was foolish of her to think he didn't harbor some feelings for them, didn't miss them at least a little bit.
Only when her father took a few steps forward did she react, letting out an instinctive hiss and turning in Sootpaw's embrace, stepping out of it as well and going on the defensive as usual. In front of the graves, she crouched and her claws itched to unsheathe.
"Now, you've done it," Wildfire paused a few steps away from her, standing tall and somewhere behind him, his tail lashed and his muscles tightened. "I could excuse you wasting your time with this thing, I could excuse you disobeying me, I could excuse everything else. But this?" He shook his head with a snarl, "this is inexcusable."
Her heart raced and for a second, she truly thought he was about to attack. And for a reason unbeknownst to her, that thought no longer scared her.
It excited her.
"You really want to do this here?" Flarepaw spat back, a part of her taunting, and her goading smile was more of a display of her sharp teeth than anything else. "Right in front of them? Now?"
"I will do it anywhere, Flarepaw," he growled back, and there in the snow at his paws, she could just barely see his ivory claws hidden by the white. "Do not tempt me."
Flarepaw opened her mouth again, emotions running high and she felt herself burning from the inside out. It was an addicting heat, and she wondered just how much further she had to push before it began to hurt. A true Blazeclan warrior at its finest.
She knew, in the back of her mind, perhaps pushing at Wildfire's buttons right now wasn't her smartest decision. But she was tired, she was tired and she didn't care about the consequences.
But Sootpaw was there, and just like that, seeing him step forward to be at her side instead of behind her, she began to sober up. And in a strange reversal of roles, he was the one who appeared to be level-headed instead of recklessly emotional.
"Wildfire," the Commoner called out, taking a few steps forward so he was more in the middle of them than at her side and Flarepaw fought the instinctual jerk to try and pull him back. "From what everyone's told me, Willowflame sounded like a kind soul who never wanted to hurt anybody. So, answer me this; would she have liked what you're doing right now? Threatening and hurting your own daughter, her daughter?"
Flarepaw flinched, and maybe it was a trick of the light, but she thought, for a moment, that Wildfire did too.
"For her to fall in love with you," Sootpaw continued, eyes narrowing in determination, "for her to want to start a family with you, there has to be some good in you. Answer me; how would she feel if she knew about what you've done to your own daughter?"
"She would've hated me," Wildfire responded with ease, a bitter curl to his lips as he let out a harsh breath. "She would have skinned me alive with her own claws and shown no mercy. But do not attempt to lecture me using her," the tom took a step closer, and Flarepaw did the same, "she was a fool always looking for the light in others, even when one didn't exist. Perhaps, that's what got her killed in the end."
The Royal paused before taking in a deep breath, perhaps to compose himself, and sent a withering glare to the Commoner.
"She wouldn't agree with my methods or my reasonings… but out of everyone, she was the one who understood the source of my anger when it comes to you, Commoner."
Flarepaw did not like the look Wildfire was giving to Sootpaw, and the tom at her side blinked in confusion before furrowing his brows. She had seen various degrees of her father's anger displayed on his face; from simple narrowed eyes to disdainfully curled lips to fangs bared. But never such a… a murderous look of a chilling calm. It almost seemed like at the very moment, Wildfire knew exactly how, when, and where he would want to kill Sootpaw.
The she-cat finally pulled Sootpaw back a step, standing in the line of fire and cutting off whatever questions he was going to ask. A brewing storm of silver met a raging inferno of dark amber, and despite the anger that was in both of them, there was also exhaustion.
They were both tired and high-strung with their little game, and Flarepaw was done.
"Can't this just… stop?" Her voice was less a snarl and more of a sigh. "It's obvious we're both tired from all of this, Wildfire. You've been fighting a battle for who knows how long, and now you've started a fight with me as well. Can't it just end already?"
"Will you finally obey me?" As she expected, the tom spoke without a moment to think, his answer already at the tip of his tongue.
That was fine. Her answer was too.
"No." It had only recently become easier to say that word to his face. They held each other's gaze in a moment of silence, sparks flying and the air heavy with tension. Alas, Wildfire took in another composing sigh.
"Then, no." Dark amber turned to Sootpaw, eyeing him meticulously, and Flarepaw huffed in annoyance before, once again, standing in the way. Look at me, she wanted to spit, your fight is with me. Not him.
Leave him out of this.
"Your resistance is admirable," Wildfire spoke as if he was giving a lecture to an apprentice, "both of yours, but in the end, you will only have yourselves to blame for your demise."
She could feel Sootpaw move from behind her before she saw him appear out of the corner of her eye, their flanks brushing, and the tom twined their tails together. She turned her head to look at him, momentarily awestruck by the resolve shining in the sunset.
"We're not going to give up," his voice was stern and held the weight of truth. "Even if you or the clan or everyone else doesn't accept us, we'll keep fighting on. I don't… I don't speak for Flarepaw, but for her, there is no demon or monster or force I wouldn't face to keep her safe and happy. And sure, maybe she doesn't need me or wants me to fight these battles with her, but I can't imagine just letting her go through this or anything else alone. She doesn't have to if I'm there."
Sootpaw's soft smile turned sharper, his eyes sparkling with a taunting light. "And you can hurt me a thousand times over to get to her, but the pain I receive from you is nothing compared to the joy I feel when I'm around her. If you want to separate me from her, you're going to have to try a lot harder than what you've done now, because I'm not going anywhere. I love her, and I'll be right by her side until the end."
Wildfire remained silent after his words, and Flarepaw couldn't help but let out a purr as she stepped closer to him, a satisfied smile on her face. And as if just to annoy her father, Sootpaw turned his head so he could nuzzle into the side of her neck, letting his own purr filter through the air, loud and alive.
Wildfire scowled.
"The clans won't stand by this," he grumbled, his gaze pointedly on Flarepaw now, and she felt as though she could breathe easier since it wasn't on Sootpaw. Strangely enough. "Flarepaw, you understand what would happen to you when others find out, do you not? The clan will rip you apart, and even the pieces left won't be spared."
The perfect moment always had a chance to show itself, and in this case, Flarepaw felt as though she had been waiting for those very words to come from his lips.
A taunting grin appeared on her face, confident and brave with Sootpaw purring at her side, his gentle touches urging her to face her greatest demon. With almost a playful purr in her throat, she spoke.
"Then I'll just have to tear down the clans before they can do the same to me."
At her side, Sootpaw froze, the purr coming to a halting stop in his chest, and he pulled away quickly as he blinked at her with wide eyes. Wildfire, too, looked rather comical with his widened gaze, astonished and looking as though it took quite a bit of mental effort to keep his jaw from dropping.
"What?" He spoke breathlessly and she didn't care to know why.
Flarepaw glanced at the tom at her side, watching as something akin to understanding and even the slightest bit of hope began to glimmer in the sunset. There was a question in his eyes, and when she gave him a reassuring smile, he received his answer.
"These unjust ways have been part of our lives for as long as the clans have been created. Sootpaw and others just like him have suffered for far too long in silence. I've suffered in my own ways because of your toxic mindset, no doubt born from the depths of the clan's system. If we allow it to continue, many others even after us will continue to suffer because of it."
For some reason, the she-cat felt compelled to chance a glance towards the graves. There; she thought she could see the fading images of her mother and brother and Darkpaw. Willowflame with a proud nod, Flamepaw with his encouraging grin, and Darkpaw with his grateful smiles.
"No longer," her voice grew softer, and in her ears, this was her goodbye to them. With a single nod, the three images faded with the incoming breeze, and instead of feeling pain- Flarepaw felt free. "My battle is larger than just you, Wildfire."
Her silver eyes turned back to him, her head raising just a little higher. "I have set my sights on dismantling our hierarchy system. It is my true target now, and you are only the pest that keeps getting in the way."
"You've gone mad," Wildfire breathed out before the snarl returned on his face, fangs bared and stance dropping, prepared to leap. "This rat has made you mad!"
"No," she shook her head sharply, "he is the one who opened my eyes to the truth. To what you and everyone else has blinded me to my entire life. So, you can keep targeting us, and I have no doubt in my mind that you will, but just know, you are no longer my top priority. My mother…" she swallowed lightly, and with the breeze that ruffled through her pelt, she thought she could hear her mother's comforting purr.
"Willowflame would want me to use my strength, the skills she taught me, for the greater good. And thanks to you, thanks to the pain you've put me and everyone else through, I have finally found my purpose. So, I'm going to make her proud, and I'm going to do the right thing."
"I won't let you!" Wildfire took a few steps closer, much too close for her liking, and immediately she let out a hiss and unsheathed her claws. By her side, Sootpaw did the same; they were a united force and, for once, they were prepared to fight together. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see the Commoner smiling brighter than ever before. "I will not allow this."
"I wasn't asking for permission," Flarepaw spat, "but you are welcome to try and stop me. Know this, however; even if I fail, even if we fail, there are many others. This system won't last forever, because one day, there will be those brave enough to change it. You can stop me, but you can't stop the inevitable, Wildfire."
Yes; it was unavoidable. As 'perfect' as others thought the clan to be, there were those who saw it for its imperfections. Those who would share their message and their mindsets to others, and maybe it won't happen in her lifetime. Maybe she would die trying to make a difference, maybe it would be generations from now.
Change was inevitable. Life was filled with constant change, everything changed.
And one day, so would the clans.
Flarepaw just wished it would happen in a life where she and Sootpaw could finally be happy. And if it wasn't this life where it happened, then…
Maybe in the next, she could finally be free with him.
…
A/N: Whoo, finished this chapter after spending four hours on homework. College is fun. Speaking of fun, this chapter, huh? Berry gets demoted, Cherry is a manipulative… umm… yeah, and Blazeclan is always full of fun. I am now reaching the part of the outline that needs some editing, so if the next chapter is a bit late, know that I took the time to fix that up. Oh and… finals are coming up (next week alone, for one class, I have like, five assignments; when we normally only had three or two at the most). So yeah. Fun times.
…
Question of the Day
(A bit random)
Do you believe in reincarnation/rebirth?
…
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~Wolfcreations20
