Butterflies were abundant in my stomach as I did my makeup in the mirror of the dressing room me, Tyson, and the kids were in. My nerves were still on edge because I kept dropping my mascara whenever I would try to put some on my eyebrows so I ended up letting out a loud sigh due to frustration that was building inside of me. I had practiced my dance routines, studied the notes that I jotted down in my journal, the poems I wrote late at night were somehow slipping away from my memory which was fighting against me, and I was about to walk out altogether.
"What's wrong?" Tyson asked me.
I could see him staring at me in the mirror's reflection but my brown eyes didn't want to look at my husband's sea blue eyes at the moment because I was on the verge of crying. I simply shook my head as I grabbed my mascara once again and tried to put it on but my slightly shaking uncooperative hands made me drop it again in front of me.
"Everything is fucking wrong," I muttered to myself.
"Tia, talk to me." Tyson pulled up a chair next to me so he could find out what was bothering me. "T.J. is watching cartoons on my phone and Tyra is asleep in the bassinet so we have time to talk to each other and you need to tell me what's wrong. I need to know because you've been quiet ever since we left the house so I need to know what's going on?"
"I don't think I can do this," I said. "I can't remember anything at all and I feel bad for even dragging you here."
Tyson got up quickly then sat back down when he had my journal in his hand and held it out for me to look at closely.
"You have been writing and writing and writing and writing and writing profusely in this journal, marking up every single inch of paper that was made for this journal, and you've been practicing your dances so much you can dance in your own damn sleep. Tia, don't you dare try to give up on yourself. Don't even let me try to talk you out of this because I am supporting you."
"I don't know if I can do this…"
My face was touched by my husband's soft hands that I grabbed without thinking too much of it as I looked him in his eyes and barely blinked when he spoke to me.
"You can do this, Tia. You basically got the roll that you were born for, you're loved by the people here, and me plus the kids are all rooting for you. Even Sleeping Beauty."
I chuckled at that remark as Tyson kissed me on my lips and got me something to drink as I continued to put on my makeup for rehearsal that was going to happen very soon. Just deep breaths, deep breaths, deep breaths…
I needed to take in deep breaths to let them help calm me down because my nerves were way too damn bad but maybe it was simply stage fright that I was scared of. I remember my first dance performance I had where I was so scared to go on stage to perform that Tyson had to talk to me for almost twenty minutes to get me to relax. He had stood off to the side of the stage to watch me perform my dance routine that I happened to nail as soon as the music started and I had the entire auditorium on their feet in a standing ovation. Just relax, take it easy, and everything will fall into place.
I rehearsed in front of the director that wanted to see the other ideas in my dance routine that had spoken to them about. The director told me that I could do whatever I wanted as she wrote the performance to be a one woman show and to not hold back anything because she wanted to see everything I had to offer. I did my dance routine in front of the director then finished with a poem that I had wrote in my journal that I happened to memorize right on the spot…the very poem that had made me cry when I wrote it the first time and I never looked back to study it in my notes because it's one that I kept memorized in my mind. Tears almost flowed back down my cheeks but I kept my composure in front of my director who wouldn't stop clapping at my performance and my husband, who had been standing in the corner of the room watching me as I rehearse, slowly approached me while clapping and tears were rolling down his face. Tyson never tried to hide his emotions but seeing him cry at this very moment in time baffled me just a bit but I knew he was really moved by my performance because when he hugged me, he didn't let me go for a long while. I waved goodbye to the director who left me and my husband alone for a bit so we could have our moment together.
"You alright, Tyson?"
"I am." Tyson smiled at me with a big smile that was lighting up the entire room despite the sun shining through the windows. "I'm so proud of you and that poem was amazing."
"Thank you," I said while I wiped tears from Tyson's face. "I wrote it with you and the children in mind."
"Beautiful. Oh, speaking of the kids I need to go check on them to see if they're okay."
"They are. One of the receptionists here loves looking after the kids to they're in good hands whenever I'm here with them."
"That's good to know…I was just a little worried about them."
"Well, worry no more." I pushed a strand of his curly hair out of his face and smirked. "Time for us to go home for a little R and R before you head out again."
"That I can take care of with you."
My body must've longed for Tyson's because there seemed to be no way for us to keep our hands to ourselves tonight as we fucked the daylights out of each other. I wrapped myself around Tyson's body as he made love to me nice and slow, his breathing unsteady like mine as he laid his head in the crook of my neck, his hands breaking my hold on him so he could pin my arms over my head, and was gentle but a little rough just like I liked it. He nibbled on my ear then kissed me on my lips each we reached our climaxes, our bodies relaxing after our intimate moment with each other, and I was content once Tyson was snuggled behind me underneath the covers.
"I love you," he whispered into my ear.
"I love you more," I whispered back.
