I'm standing in a field of long red grass…. The sky a deep orange, like a sunset above me… theres a beautiful scene of mountains in the distance, peaked with pure white snow…

Where am I….?

Someone calls to me, but it's not English…. I don't understand it. Yet I answer in the same musical language… Turning to see two people standing under a tree with silver leaves… they're on a hill not far off.

I can't see their faces… I just know that they are there. Calling for me... waiting for me to join them.

I try to run to them… but the longer I run the heavier my feet get…. The father away they seem….

The two people turn away…

I cry out.. Try to yell in that same musical language, but my tongue feels heavy and slow…

Then I'm on a ledge with a young child… there's something behind us….Something bad. Horrible. I can't turn….There's something equally terrifying in front of us. A hole. A rift. It's terrifying and awe inspiring.

Something pushes me.

I fall, bringing the child with me…

I try to hold onto their hand, pull them close to me…

but we get torn apart…

Fai…

and then the blackness…

Fait…

Always the blackness…. Everything and nothing—

"Faith!" My eyes flutter open with a start, cheek tingling as someone continues to smack it lightly.

The lights are too bright and there's a familiar stab of pain at my temples. I squeeze my eyes shut again, groaning.

There's a gasp of surprise, and someone yells, "Doctor she's awake!!" It feels like there's cotton in my ears, but whoever they are they're too loud.

This is like a very bad case of Library déjà vu.

"I seriously need to stop waking up like this…" I grumble under my breath. Writhing to curl in on my side, my hands are stiff and throbbing dully as I do so.

The floor is hard, but cold and I gratefully press my hot cheek against it. Stomach aching and head spinning.

Hands are on me again in an instant, pulling me back towards the light and propping me up. I squeeze my eyes tighter shut as the world jumps and spins like a ballerina, my temples pounding.

"Here, drink this" the same urgent trembling voice orders, something cool is pressed against my lips and a second later, liquid is following. Some spilling down my chin as whoever is holding the cup shakes it…. No too minute, trembles? Why are they trembling?

"Oh thank god you're awake." Something drips on my face… Finally I crack my eyes open and look up. Mind too muddled to match the voice to any face.

Rose… it's Rose… on the edge of tears. Rose is leaning over me, my head propped up in her lap,

Finally I start to drink, small sips of—I'm not quite sure what. It's definitely not water, sort of raspberry flavor… stuff.

But it's clear, for whatever that's worth. Not too sweet and not the consistency of juice….

I sip at the not-water until the cup is empty, only then finding the energy to struggle up a little further— sitting on my own, though I sway precariously.

Rose takes one good look at me, and flings her arms around me.

"How…. How am I not dead…?" I ask softly, voice just a rasp.

"The Doctor gave you something. I don't know what. Some type of medicine." Comes Roses muffled reply

Her shoulders are shaking… and I awkwardly pat her back. "Hey, I'm alright…" I almost wince at how dry my throat still feels.

I definitely do not sound alright.

Rose stiffens and then pulls away shaking me slightly, not helping the pounding headache. "you are not!! I thought you were dead when he brought you in here!! What were you thinking?! What would I have told mum when I got back?! huh?? Do you have any idea how worried I've been?!"Rose shouts, my face scrunching up at the assault to my senses.

Putting a hand to my head to ease the pain—only my hands hurt just as much, if not more then my head when I move them, I finally notice the damp cloth pressed to my forehead.

Gingerly I take it in my raw hands. Looking down at it instead of at Rose, "Sorry. It won't happen again." I mumble meekly. Not sure how truthful that statement is.

"It bloody well better not!! Or I'll be bringing ya back just so I can send you off myself!! I nearly had a heart attack!" The near yell has me looking up at the blonde with wide eyes. If I didn't know better, I'd say she's channeling the spirit of her mother right now….

But??

Why would she be so worried??? We haven't really known each other all that long??

And not that well?

Why??

This feels like Donna all over again and that's just a tad bit scary. That woman is intimidating as all get-out. Not to mention Rose's Jackie-esque threatening.

Out of my depth, I glance over to the Doctor for help.

Emotions are all well and good until they're directed and concerning me.

Unfortunately the Doctor is standing over to the side glowering at everything and nothing.

Definitely no help.

Then I take in the rest of the room. Parts smoldering and burnt black, piles of ash here and there, people tending to severe burns…. And the smell…! If I wasn't already feeling sick, I definitely would be with that in the air.

Obviously not everyone chose to wait in the hallways. At least one third of the guests that were here before are now gone.

There were so many more before the attack….

My heart constricts, when I see several groups of people huddled together around different piles of smoldering ash. Mourning different loved ones.

It doesn't take long for that empathic hurt to morph into A ball of hot anger. Filling me until I feel like I'll burst with it.

These people died because that woman wanted money… and because I wasn't fast enough to stop her.

My jaw clenches and I bite down on my lip, fighting down tears at the injustice of it all.

My head pounds in pain.

She deserves justice. To know what she's done and feel the same pain she's caused these people.

"Doctor? Are you alright…?" Rose asks, having seen where I was unconsciously staring.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I'm full of ideas, I'm bristling with them." He says darkly, walking past us, "Idea number one, teleportation through five thousand degrees needs some kind of feed. Idea number two, this feed must be hidden nearby." I watch dully as He smashes open the so-called ostrich egg, picking up whatever was inside, and pacing away, "Idea number three, if you're as clever as me, then a teleportation feed can be reversed."

He fiddles with the small device, and a second later Cassandra's voice can be heard, followed half a second later by a purple light and the rest of her. "Oh, you should have seen their little alien faces—Oh." She stops her gloating, staring around at the room she's back in.

"The last human." The Doctor says, an accusation in his voice, as he faces off against her.

Cassandra agitatedly searches for an escape, eyes darting around before she focuses back on the Doctor, fake smile on her painted lips "So, you, uh, passed my little test. Bravo…. This makes you… eligible to join, um—the, the er, the Human Club." She finishes lamely.

Every word she says just fuels my anger. Somewhere in the back of my head a warning bell starts, telling me to pull back before I do something I'll regret… but it's so hard to hear over the well of emotions… the pounding in my skull.

"People have died, Cassandra. You murdered them." The Doctor states barely concealing his own anger.

"It depends on your definition of people—" Cassandra starts flippantly, in a tone that says she would shrug if she was able.

"how dare you!!" I yell, a dam bursting.

Everyone turns to me. Clearing a space between me and the selfish woman.

Stumbling to my feet— using Rose as support—

I step out on my own. Shaky at first, but quickly finding my balance. "You cruel, selfish monster. You don't deserve to be called human!" I spit,

No that won't reach her cold heart, that dark, angry part of me whispers,

…I listen to it.

"Oh and what do you know?!" Cassandra snaps back acidly, pushing me farther. This is something I care about and she's going to understand.

"I know they had lives and families and friends and loved ones and homes! —and you took all of it away." I snarl, hot tears in my eyes now, "They had more then you have, or ever will have… and you, you killed them!!"

The room rings with my words.

stunned silence follows.

My rage doesn't end though. It doesn't subside with the silence.

The pounding at my temples blocking out my usual common sense and everything else. It's wrong, but I'm getting swept away in the tide.

turning to calculation, I pace in front of her. Losing sight of everything else but her, the pain in my chest and the spinning in my head, and all the hurt around me. "They had more then you. —How long did it take for you to start resenting everyone around you?" My voice is trembling with emotion as I speak through clenched teeth.

They didn't have to lose what I've already lost.

She doesn't feel a thing.

"Was it that first surgery? when nobody even said a word? The next?" I ask, seeing a reaction in the way her eyes widen,

"You have no right to—" Cassandra trues to interject, but it's a feeble attempt and I cut her off. She will listen.

"How about the one where they took your legs? Your arms? All because you wanted it. Was that it? When you gave away your freedom for beauty, and love, but all you got was disgust— that's when people stopped looking at you like you were human, wasn't it?" I'm watching her twitch. Like I'd slapped her. Knowing that I'm getting to her.

But it's not enough. The anger and hate and pain are still there. Are these really my emotions??

Part of me is telling me to stop. I'm causing pain and it's wrong. That part is small. Drowned out by the pounding and the need to make this creature face justice for her wrongs. I tried to show her mercy earlier. Held my tongue, tried to be kind, and she threw that back in my face and burned them.

"Did they remove your soul and heart along with the rest of you?" I ask. Voice calmer then I feel. A tear drips from my eyelashes, but I don't pay it any mind. My tears don't mean I can't bite. "Because it was never enough was it? How many have you killed for your 'beauty'? Was it worth it??" I take in a shuddering breath,

"Faith…" Rose murmurs, I cant tell if it's a warning or a plea.

I can feel it in my gut. I need to stop.

I'm hurting her now.

Yet my voice continues. The rage hasn't burned out yet. "I'm sure you were lovely once. Beautiful, even." I say, voice quivering and quiet,

"But you gave that away. Became ugly and cruel because of your greed, and your need for acceptance. No one would ever want someone like that around. Not really. You can see it in their eyes, can't you??"

And I can see the fear in her's. What am I doing? Telling such wicked truths. No one wants to hear these things about themselves.

"You'll never be beautiful. Not like that. It's just rotting you from the inside…and everyone can see it." I spin, gesturing to the room, even though my focus is solely for her. "Even you, if you ever look in the mirror. But you don't do you? You hate it. Hate what you've become. Hate how everyone looks and judges. Hate how fake it all is. So you keep searching, trying to fill up that large gaping hole in your chest—but nothing works. Your greed and malice just keep rotting everything away. Until There's Nothing Left...!"

"Enough!" Cassandra cries, sounding shaken and desperate,

at the same time Rose shouts, "Stop it!" Sounding just as shaken.

I freeze, muscles going slack, like a puppet with its strings cut.

What have I done?

My mental filter finally snaps back into place, I take a step back. Feeling like I've been slapped. Still feeling all those emotions swirling around my head, but now they aren't mine.

"…. I shouldn't have said that. Any of that." I whisper, shaking my head slowly, an apology on my lips.

What was I thinking? No… I wasn't thinking. That's the whole problem.

It's not my place to judge. It's never my place to judge.

My eyes skitter around, looking for an escape. Away from all the eyes. Away from the silence that speaks volumes.

Blindly I stumble towards the door, bumping into several people as I run. Searching for someplace safe.

Following the golden rope of the Tardis. Home. Safety.

As I leave I hear Cassandra try to right herself. Telling them that she's the true last human, not us.

Definitely not me. Her confidence might have sounded believable if it wasn't for what I just said.

I run, bouncing off walls and only registering it because of the acute pain in my hands.

I keep running.

I only stop when I reach the Tardis, sliding down her wall and burying my face into my knees, breath fast and ragged.

I block out whatever comfort the Tardis tries to give me. I don't deserve it. Not right now. I've never let my anger get the best of me like…like that. I've gotten mad, sure. Plenty of times.

But I always, always hold my tongue… at least partially. Because I know I can hurt people and I don't want to. I've hurt my sister that way before, we always clash. But I still love her.

I've never dug that deep before. One or two harsh stinging words, where I know it will hurt, and then hours of apologies once I've cooled down.

I've never attacked someone like that.

…I've also never faced someone who's killed people I've known face to face before…. And all for the want of money.

Such a stupid reason.

But anger is a stupid reason to lash out too, that voice whispers. I hug myself a little tighter, burying my face even more.

I don't know how long a stay like that. Playing my words over and over and over in my head. Every mean spirited remark. Every truth that should never have been spoken aloud…. Especially not in front of a group like that.

Yes… she killed. But she still didn't deserve that. Especially not before her death… well… first death.

I can't even apologize for it.

I heave a heavy sigh.

I wasn't lying when I told Rose that I scare myself when I get angry.

There's the tap of footsteps across the floor. Too deliberately loud to be anything but purposeful.

I stiffen but don't look up. Tightening my hold on my legs. The footsteps get closer, before slowing to a stop.

There's the familiar creak of wood as they lean against the box, the sound of a heavy sigh… then silence.

I know who it is.

I wait. Expecting some form of confrontation. A reprimand. A demand for an explanation...

A one way ticket home.

I behaved like a child in front of all of those people, and so I should be treated like a child.

He stays silent.

I do too.

—Shuttles four and six docking— Guests are asked to board in a calm and orderly manner— those who are injured are kindly asked to"….. I stop listening to the message after that.

"….where's Rose?" I ask hesitantly. It comes out muffled since I don't bother lifting my face.

"Not sure, saying goodbye to some people I expect. She made some friends."His voice is calm. Not that that says much. He could be about to shout and I wouldn't know. Not without looking up…. Which I stubbornly do not do.

Another long drawn out silence….

Finally I break.

The silence getting to me. I let out a very loud sigh. Showing my frustration in the only way I can without words.

He doesn't say anything.

….But he also doesn't leave.

"Cassandra's dead." He says after another long pause. Almost offhandedly…. But there's a dark edge to it.

I sigh again, feeling the guilt press against my shoulders "I'm horrible. I'm a horrible, cruel, manipulative, heartless, person."

No response.

I lift my head to look at my hands clenching and unclenching them, even though it's painful… the skin red and puckered… before trying in vein to brush stray flyaways out of my face, "Why did I say those things?? I should have stayed silent. She died and one of the last things she heard were horrible accusations. I hurt her. I tore her apart."

The words sting, even as I say them. I let my head fall back down, turning my head so it's my cheek is pressed up against my boney knee,

but soon I drop my head back down, continuing with my knees at my forehead, "Words can hurt just as much as physical wounds… and I stabbed her. I stabbed her over and over…and then twisted the knife for good measure…"

and then it tears me apart because I know for a fact that it will do the same to them, to her.

I sigh, for what feels like the hundredth time. I don't know why I'm explaining all of this to him. I owe him nothing. Let him see me as the cruel person all those others probably think I am… how Rose probably thinks I am.

So much for that friendship…

"…I see people and I try so hard to relate to them. To understand how they feel… how they think…" why am I still talking? Is it because he hasn't stopped me? Hasn't interrupted? Someone always interrupts.

"But… people like her… she doesn't." And the frustration is back. "And that— It just makes me so mad. She didn't see the pain she was creating!"

And that's heartbreaking.

"And I… I knew her. I knew what made her tick... So I knew what would give her pain. An' I didn't just hurt her. I tore her apart… in front of everyone…! I showed a part of her she didn't want to see… something she didn't want anyone to see." I finally look up at the Doctor, feeling lost, and scared of myself.

"Who does that??" He doesn't look at me. Staring out the window. "What kind of person does that make me??" Still he doesn't answer and I let my head drop, hugging myself tightly. Does he understand that I'd take it all back if I could?

"I don't want to hurt people…. I don't want to watch them die." I finally mumble after another minute or so goes by.

"Everything has its time and everything dies." He recites, finally looking at me, no contempt, just an old, deep sadness. "You can't save everyone… and you can't expect everyone to understand…or to be perfect. No one is. All you can do is try. You are none of the things you said you were. All you've proven is that you care too much for your own good…. But we all need someone to care…. just don't let it drive you mad." He pushes off the Tardis, offering me a hand up. I sheepishly wave my burnt red hands up at him.

He frowns down at them, grabbing my wrist and helping me up regardless. "You're going to the med bay after this." He states.

I look up as him in confusion, "after what?"

"Someone's been asking for you." Is all he says as he leads me along,

He takes us back down the hallways and onto the main loading deck, the last of the guests waiting in line to board….

Two familiar figures are standing in the middle of the room. Rose and—

I blink. Taking a hesitant step forward. Not believing my eyes.

Then I'm rushing forward taking the two in with wide eyes, "Raffalo?! I thought you were dead! Weren't you in with the steward when…?" I can't finish that thought, just staring in awe at the shorter woman.

Raffalo. Alive and well, shakes her head, "no miss Faith, the door was already locked by the time I got there. I went to go find someone to help, but there wasn't much I could do. I am so glad I caught you before you left. I never got the chance to thank you."

"Thank me?" I repeat, not really comprehending. I glance at Rose, but she's all smiles, seeming giddy that Raffalo is alive too. "What's there to thank me for?" I ask,

"Why! You saved my life!" Raffalo exclaims, "—Twice over from what everyone's been saying. You, miss Rose and that Doctor fellow, saved everyone on this station. That's what I've been told, and that's what I've got to thank you for." Raffalo says, gently cupping my hands with hers and giving a little shake in gratitude.

"Oh." I say.

Apparently I've run out of words after all my speech making.

"Happy… that we could help..?" I finally add lamely.

"Help! That's an understatement! Really, thank you so so much miss Faith. Miss Rose, you too…" she glances between the two of us, but then her countenance darken with confusion, "I must ask though… who are you, really? Surely you aren't proper guests, with all that you were able to do?

"Nah. Just travelers." The Doctor says, finally strolling up with a smile. Hand clapping my reassuringly on the shoulder.

—shuttles four and six, preparing for take off— all guests and staff— are asked to make final preparations for liftoff—

Raffalo looks back, "oh! That's us! We'd better get on board!"

"Actually," the Doctor jumps in again, a smile on his face, "we've sort of got our own… lift, thanks."

"Oh… of course. Then… thank you again, all of you. I hope we can meet again sometime." Raffalo says, starting to turn away

"Yeah same." Rose pipes up cheerily, bouncing slightly on her feet, all three of us wave the blue woman off, though I still feel numb.

Waving back at us with a smile, Raffalo hurries up a set of stairs, grabs a small piece of luggage and heads through a door with one final wave.

"— Shuttles four and six departing— This unit now closing down for maintenance—"

"She's alive…" I finally murmur, still not believing it.

Rose nods, "yeah, her, Jabe, The Face of Boe and his assistant—friend— whatever… I never got her name. They wanted to say bye to you too, but you disappeared." She says as we start walking back towards the Tardis.

I think she's done, but she continues with a shake of her head "You know, you really showed that Cassandra." I freeze for a second, the Doctor pushing my forward lightly with a hand on my back, "I was a bit scared there, but she did kind of deserve it. And you! I was so surprised! I'd never have thought you could do that. Not in a million years." Rose laughs, "I'm just glad I've never made you mad like that."

I shake my head, a self deprecating smile on my lips, "well, I don't plan to do something like that ever again. I feel horrible for it. I've never lashed out like that before… though I've wanted to a couple times."

Rose opens her mouth to reply, but her eyes find the window instead and she lets out a small gasp, dropping the subject and walking over to look out. "Oh…The end of the Earth an no one saw it... We were too busy saving ourselves. No one saw it go. All those years, all that history, and no one was even looking. It's just…." Rose trails off. Unable to find the words.

I look out too. It's sad, but that word doesn't begin to describe it.

"Come with me." The Doctor says solemnly, turning back around without another word.

Rose follows a second later.

I stay. looking out the window, at the large sun… and at the chunks of meteorite that used to be a beautiful planet. Now beautiful in a desolate lonely sort of way.

I reach down for my phone, still sitting at my waistband when I freeze.

My phone.

Quickly pulling it out, I check the power and controls, pressing everything I can think of….

Nothing.

My phone is dead. The only thing I have left from home… the only thing that has pictures of my family, my memories, my childhood. All gone.

"Faith, I meant you too when I said to come!" The Doctor calls from the doorway of the Tardis,

"Yeah, c'mon!" Rose calls too, voice echoing since she's further inside.

I slip my dead phone back into the elastic of my pants, covering it with my shirt.

Turning, I plaster a smile on my face "alright, alright, I'm coming!"

Now I'm not lying when I say I don't have a phone.

Now it truly is all gone. All I have left is myself, and even that is slipping away, slowly but surely.

————

With a warbling thud, the Tardis lands.

Faith is unusually silent on the ride over, barely speaking to say 'thank you' when the Doctor applies salve to her burns and then wraps her hands. Making sure she's healing properly and is well on her way to rehydration…. She absolutely refused when he said it would be faster to just give her an IV with the necessary fluids she needs.

Rose too, is busy contemplating her own thoughts…

The Doctor doesn't break that silence either. He knows everyone needs time after an adventure like that one to come to terms.

Plus, he's busy worrying about what he's going to tell them when they land.

Surely they'll both leave him after a trip like that. Especially Faith. Between what happened, and how he treated her— there's no way she'll stay.

That thought makes his hearts sink... he tries not to think on it. She's human. Human lives are short. She won't last.

He's had so many companions….

The Doctor steps out the Doors, taking in London, all the sounds, so loud and bustling, the smell of 2005 hitting his senses, the ground spinning its familiar rhythm under his feet, his brain automatically calculating the position of the planet, then he's turning the sense down, always such a cheat. He likes the surprise. Even if he did want to be accurate this once. In case either companion decides they want to go home.

Rose steps out the door, joining him in looking around. Letting the familiar sights, smells and sounds wash over her too, though not nearly as acutely as the Doctor's senses pick them up.

The Doctor waits a second longer… but Faith doesn't come out. "I'll go get Faith. Wait here just a tick." Rose agrees, and he steps back into his blue box.

What he finds makes him pause.

kneeling on the grated floor, eyes closed and lips moving too quietly to hear, her head bowed in prayer, sits Faith. The Tardis's orange golden glow lightning up her brown hair in a halo of copper wisps. Her forehead just barely leaning against the console.

Like she dropped into the position, barely moving from where she'd been sitting at the jump-seat.

Whatever she is praying about, it feels deep and heartfelt. The Doctor can feel her projected feelings. Sincerity, reverence, love, regret, remorse …he can feel it all the way from the door.

It feels personal. Like he is intruding on something he isn't supposed to see... yet it is beautiful too, he doesn't want to take his eyes away.

Feeling more self conscious then he has in years, the Doctor clears his throat, making his presence known.

Faith stirs slightly, but whispers a few more words before giving a just barely audible "amen."

then and only then does she open her eyes and focus in on him.

He clears his throat again, not quite sure what to do with himself. "We were, ehm, waiting for you. Outside. I mean." She blinks, like she isn't expecting that.

Again, taking herself out of the equation. When will she learn that she's more important then that?

She frowns, "Aren't… aren't you mad at me?" Now it's his turn to blink. What does he have to be mad about?

"For what you did?" He clarifies, mind replaying the events. Empathic overload yes, but that room was swamped in emotional turmoil, so the girl can hardly be blamed…. Though he'd like to do some more scans to figure out just how empathic, before he makes her aware of it.

"Yeah…" she nods, one hand absentmindedly ghosting over the console in a way not dissimilar to his own habits.

He thinks for a moment before shaking his head, "Nah. I've seen people do far worse then yell at someone because of a temper. Yours was almost eloquent. Like somethin' from a play." He hesitates, "…Are you still mad at me?"

"I was…even after I forgave you." she admits, "but after everything, it feels kind of petty… to keep holding it against you like that."

He winces, rubbing the back of his neck, "I really am sorry."

Faith gives a crooked grin, "And you really are forgiven," she pauses, face turning serious, "as long as you forgive me. I was really horrible on Platform One." Then something seems to strike her mind, "—Has… has your opinion of me changed?" She starts fiddling with a hair tie again, the Doctor watches her for a second, mulling over his words.

"Hm, You're not as sweet and innocent as I thought you were." He finally admits bluntly, leaning On the stairway railing,

She nods, eyes going distant, "I jump from 8 to 80 and back again….Sweet and innocent is just the face I show to strangers when I don't know if I can trust them yet." Her eyes focus in on him, analyzing his reaction, he realizes. But how much of him does she see? "Some people never get farther then that…Honestly, I'd never let anyone see the side of me you saw today if I could help it."

"So we aren't strangers then?" The Doctor asks, giving it a teasing air, trying to ease the tension in her shoulders. He actually does want to hear her answer though…

And what she's said... 8 to 80. He can relate to that….only more like 9 to 900.

Faith hums noncommittally, "I'm still deciding if we're acquaintances or friends. Your stunt set me back on that."

He winces. Right that. "Fair enough. And you are forgiven….Just promise me something."

Faith pauses for a second before she asks, "…Ok, what?" tilting her head to the side in that way of hers that he hasn't seen in years.

He stares seriously into her eyes, which are searching his just as seriously once she realizes he means business."Promise me that you'll believe in yourself. Trust yourself and stop putting yourself in recklessly dangerous situations.— and I know my life isn't conducive to that— if you can't do that… promise that you'll come to me, let me help you." He puts his hands in his pockets, taking a step forward "You aren't alone. You don't have to handle everything by yourself. I can't help if you won't let me." He pauses, feeling like this is teetering just a little too close to domestic for this body's liking, but continues, because Faith needs to hear it.

"You're my friend, Faith. Even if you don't think of me as yours. And I will do everything I can to keep both you and Rose safe.. but I can't do that if you keep going into dangerous situations like you did today. I need you to promise me that if things get too bad, you'll tell me you can't anymore and pull back. I'll just come up with a different plan." He shrugs with a grin and that makes Faith smile too, because they both know that's what he's good at.

A second later the Doctor is serious again, "You are not invisible Faith. And Rose and I… we care." Then the moment is over, and the Doctor is Back to his usual self… "—So! now it's your choice…" The Doctor holds out his hand, "will you trust me?" he doesn't break eye contact, neither does Faith.

She sucks in a breath… scared, he sees it flash in her eyes for half a second. His heart drops slightly. Of course she doesn't—

Then she gives him a smile, but it isn't her usual porcelain mask.

It's genuine. The one she got when she mentioned her brother and friend. The one where she looks like she might cry….

She puts her hand in his, head bowing, "I'll do my best…" then she looks back up, eyes brimming with sincerity, "I promise I'll take better care of myself.…Thank you." For caring. For seeing me. For listening. For forgiving me. She doesn't know if he realizes how much she means it.

With a smile, the Doctor tugs her towards the door. But Faith is already lost in her own mind.

Can she keep the teetering distance she's tried to keep between herself and the Doctor? Or even the distance she has with Rose…

No… they are too real. Too good. Too caring. She's been trying to ignore that part of their characters… yes, there are the flaws but everyone has those, and they do have good hearts, she's seen it…. And that scares her a bit.

Because it's hard, to form proper deep attachments… but once she's attached, properly attached, Faith knows she will do anything for these people… she won't want to leave because it will hurt them, and that will hurt her even more. It's like staring over the edge of a cliff, and she doesn't know what will come next.

It's going to hurt so much if she leaves, she can see that… if she actually gets to know these people, it's going to hurt.

Will she really be able to do that to them? Hurt them like that? She knows how the Doctor reacts to losing a companion….

She's gone over it, back and forth so many times, not really considering staying seriously.

It will also hurt so much if she stays… abandoning her family back home.

The Doctor notices Faith's far off expression as he holds the door for her, both of them walking out, though she seems to hardly notice the change in scenery… too deep in her own thoughts.

But What if…?

She could make new friends…

adopt family like she's always done while overseas….

Treat this universe like it's a permanent thing, instead of a temporary destination, in a unique set of circumstances…. Rejecting the people, the food, the sky, all of it, because it's temporary and she shouldn't get attached. She shouldn't like it.

Because really, on some subconscious level, that's what she's been doing. She can empathize with the people, but doesn't want to trust them or let them in. She will eat the food, but she isn't going to even try to like it. She won't look up at the sky, because it's foreign and wrong and not hers…. And she hasn't been taking care of herself, because what's the point?

My goodness. She's been such a baby!! Throwing a tantrum and she didn't even realize it!

The future Doctor said she couldn't, or wouldn't be going back. What if she takes that seriously? …instead of one possible timeline, that could potentially be thwarted by a god-like time entity…. A god-like time entity that causes the Doctor to regenerate and nearly kills Rose.

Shoot.

She hadn't thought about that part earlier. She can't just use that to her advantage! That's just wrong!

She could stay… help… save lives, like she's been trying. if she lets this transformation continue…

maybe help forever…

even if the Doctor does eventually see her as a fake Time Lady, she can still help out. She can still learn. She can still grow. There's a whole universe out there.

Faith blinks, coming back into focus, the Doctor leading her by the hand as he weaves around people. She breaths in the now familiar London air, busy and alive. People yelling, laughing, crying.

Going about their daily lives.

She looks up at the sky, just the slightest shade of purple-blue…

purple is her favorite color. When did she forget that?

When did she get so mopey?

The sky is beautiful. The clouds, marvelous. White and puffy, moving quickly across the sky.

It's a really gorgeous day.

They come up to Rose, who's wandered off a little while waiting for them.

Faith smiles at her in greeting, and Rose smiles back,

She really hasn't been fair to any of the people she's met here.

"There you are." Rose says, grabbing Faith's free arm, "was starting to wonder where you two got off to… you feeling alright though? Sure the Doctor fixed you up alright?" She asks, worry momentarily clouding her features as she checks Faiths temperature with the back of her hand, looking for any obvious signs that the other girl is going to collapse,

"Yeah, I'm just fine." Faith says, smiling genuinely at the other girl's worry…. "Hey, Doctor? Are you alrigt?" Faith asks next, noticing him staring off into space with an odd look on his face..

He needs to say this. He has to stop pretending. Stop running away. Just this once. He told Faith what she needed to hear, now to tell Rose, "You think it'll last forever, people and cars and concrete, but it won't. One day it's all gone. Even the sky." He takes a deep breath, squeezing Faiths hand just slightly. "You wanted to know about me… My planet's gone. It's dead. It burned like the Earth. It's just rocks and dust before its time."

"What happened?" Rose asks, hesitantly. Heart going out in sympathy. She just experienced a fraction of how devastating that could be… and she had Faith and the Doctor with her.

Faith stays quiet, a look of understanding on her face… like she already knew. Like she's already worked it out…but the Doctor shakes that thought off.

That would be impossible. There's no way she could know. No way she can understand…. Not completely. She's surrounded by her own kind.

"There was a war and we lost." The Doctor answers Rose, his throat feeling tight.

"A war with who? What about your people?" Rose asks again, knowing she's pressing, but also curious for answers.

The Doctor takes in a breath, "I'm a Time Lord. I'm the last of the Time Lords. They're all gone. I'm the only survivor. I'm left traveling on my own 'cos there's no one else." The words hang in the air, like the three are in a bubble separate from the people around them.

"There's me…." Rose says, grabbing his hand, before rethinking her words, "there's us…right, Faith?"

For Faith's part, she was struggling on how to phrase 'I'm from another dimension, and I'm probably never going to see my family again; so I sort of understand how you're feeling…. I also really enjoy both of your company, so I'm happy to stay here as long as you want me around.' Into a comprehensible sentience— that didn't sound as mind bogglingly unbelievable and simultaneously depressing as it sounds in her head…

she couldn't figure it out.

so instead she just settles for squeezing his other hand—which she just now realizes he's still holding— and says "yeah, we're here for you." In the most earnest tone she can muster.

"You've seen how dangerous it is. Do either of you want to go home?" The Doctor looks both girls of their eyes. He wants them to know exactly what they're getting into. though he knows Faith already knows… he'd just forgotten to confirm with her after her accidental trip to 1963… and it hadn't come up after that either.

"I know how it is around you, and I'm fine with that." Faith says, wiggling her still-bandaged fingers to prove a point, they were almost completely healed now, the burn gel was a fast working substance, and the Doctor'd only used it so she wouldn't have to wait around in the med bay for ages.

There's a grin on her face now, "I'll even stop being so suicidal with my own harebrained schemes, as long as you do the same… how about you, Ros—ah!" The yell comes when Rose whacks Faith on the back of the head. Faith rubs at the spot looking like a kicked puppy, "Ow!"

"Oi! You shouldn't have done any suicidal harebrained schemes to start with!" The vengeful motherer #2 proclaims with hands on her hips, looking a lot like Jackie.

She goes to hit Faith again, but the other girl quickly retreats around the meat shield—er, Doctor, squealing, "ok ok!! Don't hit me!! What is it you want?! are you staying or going??" She may or may not have mumbled 'you crazy lady' after that, but Rose, —thankfully for Faith's health— didn't hear…

The question itself stops Rose in her tracks.

"What I want? I don't know…. I want…. Oh, can you smell chips?" Rose asks, mind immediately switching to her empty stomach. she hasn't had anything to eat for ages. That plastic version of Mickey ruined lunch, and it had been all running since then.

The Doctor snorts, eying the girls fondly. Humans.

Faith sniffs the air, confused, "is that what I'm smelling?"

"Yeah, it's definitely chips right?" Rose prompts,

"Yeah. Yeah." The Doctor agrees, laughing, a smile on his face.

Rose nods decidedly, "I want chips."

"Me too." He nods, still smiling. relieved to have the discussion over.

They both turn, "Faith?" The Doctor asks.

She thinks for a second, "Mmm…" then nods, much to the Doctor's surprise "I'll have some."

It was always a struggle to get Faith to eat just about anything, and she always complained about it, saying a cup of tea would be just fine, or that she isn't hungry.

Rose nudges the other girl in the shoulder "You'd better! You're way thinner then I last saw ya! What's the Doctor been feeding you? Rocks?"

"Oi! It's not my fault Faith won't eat anything! She's worse then a picky toddler!" The Doctor says indignantly,

"Hey hey, I'm not that bad!" Faith protests, but it's plain to see she's trying not to laugh.

Both her companions give her a look. ""Yes, you are"" they say in unison, then they look at each other with a grin.

"Right then, before you get me back in that box, chips it is, and you can pay, Doctor." Rose declares,

He shrugs, showing her his jacket "No money."

"Me neither," Faith adds when Rose turns to eye her, "unless you count American coins— oh wait. Those were in my hoodie… Doctor, I'm gonna need a new jacket." She informs him, more declaring to the world that she needs one, then actually making any moves to get one.

He ruffles Faith's hair fondly, much to her audible annoyance, "You can pick one out of the wardrobe later"

Rose laughs as Faith bats his hand away and jokingly uses her as a shield "Ok, so Faith gets a free pass this time, but what sort of date are you?" Rose asks the Doctor as she starts walking off, turning with a cheeky tongue between teeth smile, "Come on then, tightwads, chips are on me. We've only got five billion years till the shops close."

Smiling, Faith runs to catch up with the other girl, saying something that makes both of them laugh,

The Doctor watches the two fondly for a moment. Yes, this is a good thing he's found.

As he watches them, Faith turns and yells back at him, "hey!! Hurry up you slow-poke! we're gonna eat all the food before you even get there!" She sticks her tongue out much like Rose did before when she smiles back at him, not paying any attention to the looks she gets from passers by as she runs back to Rose with a laugh.

He easily catches up to his two companions, joining them as they laugh and jostle each other.

Faith trying to pull Rose along, only to almost go the wrong way.. twice.

Rose pointing out familiar places and sharing stories about the trouble she, Shareen and Mickey got up to around town.

The Doctor listing off facts about the future and past of the area, but mostly just listening and laughing along.

Both the Doctor and Rose notice Faith's change in behavior, it's obvious…

she's more… alive. Less distant.

But they don't say anything, not just yet. Though they both wonder what brought on her change of attitude…

It isn't until they're sitting down in a window booth, at what Rose proclaims is 'the best chippy', and said girl is off at the counter ordering, that Faith starts fidgeting.

"Um… Doctor..?" He turns to face her from where he'd been people watching across the table from her.

She bites her lip, taking a deep breath, and after a moment, takes something from behind her back, holding it out for him.

The Doctor raises his eyebrows taking the rectangular object from her. Brain stalling when he can't immediately place the device in 2005, though he does recognize what it is.

"This is…" he tries the power button, but that doesn't work, so he gets out his sonic instead, reading off a scan, then his eyes widen and he redoubles his efforts, suddenly very intent.

"I…..I lied… when I said I didn't have a phone." Faith says solemnly, shoulders hunched and only looking at him for short bursts,"I'm Sorry."

"This phone is 100% human." The Doctor states in astonishment, still examining it. Not really listening. The screen is cracked, and the case battered, like it's been dropped a lot, but he barely notices that.

"What?" Faith asks, leaning over the table to see what he's doing.

"It's 100% human, but that's not right. Those phone companies have been salvaging alien technologies and using them to create their own— albeit poorly made— copies for ages. But your phone is 100% human made. That's not right." He explains, carefully taking off the case and then separating the back to reveal the tech inside in a way that Faith didn't know was possible… probably isn't possible without a sonic screwdriver.

"..Oh." Faith mumbles lamely. Watching him work.

until Rose comes over with the French fries.

"What's that you've got?" Rose asks, setting down the food and snagging a few chips for herself.

"Phone." Is all the Doctor says, not looking up.

"My phone." Faith adds, giving a small smile of thanks as Rose hands her a basket filled with deep fried goodness.

"…That's a phone?" Rose questions Skeptically leaning over into the booth to look over the Doctor's shoulder,

"Ahead of your time by about 14 years." The Doctor mutters, now scanning the individual parts, "heat blew out most of the systems... It's impressive though. All human." He murmurs the last bit with a shake of his head. Like it hasn't quite sunk in yet.

"Do you think you can fix it, Doctor?" Faith asks anxiously, biting at her lip "it was on me earlier and won't work now… it's the only thing I have with pictures of my family." Rose glances over at her when she mentions her family. Surprised at the unexpected insight.

"Probably…. Might need the Tardis for it. Would have to have her rewind it's personal history a little…. See what I can do till then."

Rose blinks, trying to wrap her mind around all the new information, "Wait, but why does Faith have a phone like that...? from….?"she flounders, trying to quickly do the mental math,

"2019," the Doctors finishes for her, "and that is a very good question. Why do you have this, Faith?" Finally, the Doctor looks up from the phone. Both of them staring expectantly at Faith, who shrinks just slightly under their combined attention.

"Because…. I'm actually… from… 2019…?" Faith says awkwardly, nit meeting their eyes, Then she freezes, "No wait. It was 2018? 2020? 22?" Suddenly she winces, hand going to press at the bridge of her nose,

"Faith! Are you alright??" In a second Rose is by her side, hovering in concern,

Instead of answering Rose, Faith lets out a hiss of frustration tapping at her temples with her palms, eyes squeezed tight "why can't I remember?"

The Doctor eyes her speculatively, before making a decision, "Noticed that earlier. Just didn't say anything... Your timeline's a complete mess. It's no wonder you can't remember. I'd say it's a temporal displacement gone bad."

Rose gives him a blank stare, though Faith looks like she half understands what he's talking about. Just waiting for him to explain the rest so she has all the missing pieces.

"Ok... I got taken out of my time. I know that. How is that effecting my memories?" Faith asks, simplifying what he's just said so Rose can follow along.

…Though Rose does eye the other girl like she's only just seeing her for the first time. It makes Faith uncomfortable. Like she's just started a bolder rolling downhill and can't tell where it's going to go now. Will it stop with no harm done? Or will it cause an avalanche…?

Meanwhile the Doctor is in full lecture mode, "That's where the 'badly done' part comes in. Whoever did it didn't just take you from one time. It's like they scooped a section of your timeline instead of just one specific point. The version of you in front of us," he gestures vaguely to Faith's body, "is actually an amalgamation of different time plot points all tied up and compressed into one—" he scans her with the sonic, taking the readings, "20 year old body."

"Pff, that's not fair." Faith scoffs indignantly "That means I've gained a year I didn't want to begin with! I liked being 19!" She whines, blowing some fly-aways out of her face,

"But that's just it; you are 19. But you're also 18, 20, 21… all the way up to 23." You've got memories from all of those different years all at once. I'm surprised you haven't gone mad with all the conflicting information."

Faith shrugs self-consciously "Honestly… I've just been ignoring it for the most part… I was busy figuring out how to solve my situation without getting others involved."

"Wait wait." Rose says, holding up her hand for them to stop, "but how does that work??"

Faith props her head in her hand, thinking over what she's just been told, "it's like a reel of film. Instead of just taking out one frame, someone took out a whole section. Then they cut out all the individual pictures and overlapped them. Is that right, Doctor?" She looks up for conformation,

He nods, surprised that she could keep up and understand, "it's a lot more complicated then that, but that's the gist of it."

Rose shakes her head still looking confused, "Ok, that sort of makes sense, I guess, I get your timeline or whatever being messed up— and sort of you being from the future—but you said you've been trying to figure this out on your own? How long've you been trying that?"

"Ummm," Faith bites her lip, bringing a hand up to rub at her neck, looking chagrined, "I think… a couple months now…?"

There's a moment of silence, as the other two take that in. The only sound being the noise of other customers in the small shop, and the music playing over the radio. The smell of salt, vinegar, and frying food heavy in humid air of the shop. It's enough to make Faith's mouth water…

"Months!!" Rose exclaims, "And you never told anyone?!"

Faith winces at the tone, hand halfway to grabbing a chip, "No…."

Rose throws up her hands, "Why didn't you just ask the Doctor? He's got a time machine! He could've sent you back anytime!"

Tilting her head to the side and not meeting Rose's eyes, Faith mutters meekly "But that would've been rude…" Not that asking him was really much of a choice since there was that whole different universe problem too.

"Rude?!—" Rose starts,

"I couldn't have anyway." The Doctor cuts in, "Might have been able to if my people were still around—probably wouldn't have happened if they still were— but as I said, she's not from just one point, so I can't just bring her back to one point. —But I've got a question, how'd you get sent back in the first place?"

Faith blows out a weary breath, "which time do you mean? The first one? Second?"

The Doctor and Rose look at each other, eyebrows raised before focusing back on Faith. "How about both. Any strange events? Odd people? Lights in the sky?"

Faith laughs at that, relaxing slightly, "Well first off, before all of this started I hadn't seen anything strange or unusual…. except for certain supernatural events that didn't have anything to do with this or aliens…."

"Like what?" The Doctor asks, looking more intrigued,

"…angelsanddemons…" Faith mutters under her breath almost too quickly to be heard before changing the subject back. "Ok, so the first time… I sort of just passed out I think? Which is really weird because I'd never passed out before that. But then when I woke up, I was in England, and that was weird too, because I definitely wasn't in England before. We moved away when I was 15."

"Wait, sorry again," Rose interjects, getting an annoyed look from the Doctor, "but where are you from? I never worked that out. You've got an American accent but sometimes you say something and it sounds English, I can never figure that part out."

Faith smiles ruefully, "That's actually kind of a trick question… I'm American, but I was born in England— hey these chips are really really good!"

Faith had absentmindedly picked up a fry while talking, and stuffed it in her mouth without really thinking. It didn't exactly taste like home, but it definitely wasn't bad. Especially after eating barely anything for ages.

"—I spent like 10 or 12 years living there—here—whatever, lived in Arizona for a bit when I was like 3 or 4? Colorado for a year when I was 8, then moved to Florida at 15, and I'd been living in Italy for school… I actually feel more at home in England and Europe in general, so I honestly don't know how to answer you. I kinda just fall between the lines…" she shrugs, taking another handful of chips. And starts piping them in her mouth one at a time.

Like an elf in a jar shop, the Doctor breaks up the girl's tangent before they can get too off track, "Alright, that's lovely— what about the passing out? Where did you end up? What time period?"

"Umm. England… I think 2006..? But right after that, a w—" Faith catches herself before she says a name she's not supposed to know "—a stone angel-thing appeared and I ended up back in like 1980-something."

""What??"" Come two disbelieving voices,

Oh shoot. She probably shouldn't have mentioned Alex.

"A stone angel?? Wait, there are other aliens that can time travel??How on earth did you get to 2005 if you were sent back that far?!" Chief inquisitor Rose asks,

Faith bites her lip "….someone else brought me forward again… but to the wrong place… which is why I was kinda lost in your neighborhood." Does that count as future spoilers? She doesn't think so…

Rose facepalms, "and you didn't think to ask the police or someone to help?"

"Uh….yes? No? Maybe? I thought about it, I just… didn't. I didn't want to bother anyone… plus it's not exactly my time… so I don't exactly exist…." Faith says awkwardly, taking a couple more fries.

"You were half dead on a bench when mum found you. You could have faked amnesia and they would've helped you." Rose states bluntly.

"Ah." Faith winces, chewing on her food while wagging her finger, she swallows, "Ok Yeah what I did sounds really really stupid when you put it like that."

"Let's head back to the Tardis." The Doctor suddenly says, getting up, food untouched.

the biggest mystery to him right now is how Faith's phone could be 100% human. Time displacements weren't that unusual… especially if a Lonely Assassin— a Weeping Angel is in on it. The question is, could the time displacement have caused an alternate reality, and she got stuck on the wrong side of the track?

….Something is missing about the whole situation, but he can't place his finger on what it is.

Rose gets up after him, her own food forgotten, "What? Already?"

Faith takes a second longer, taking the wax paper lining and folding up all of the Doctor's abandoned food, along with what's left of her's and Rose's. 'Waist not want not' and all that jazz.

With a ring of the shop bell, the three are back on the street, Rose asking questions and Faith nibbling on French fries.

They are almost to the Tardis, when Faith pauses, realizing something.

If the Doctor does get her phone working… he'll get nosey.

…And she hadn't thought to change her contact name.

something in her core says that he can't know her name…. The very thought sends a thrill of fear up her spine, a desperate need to get the device back and away from him.

But when they enter the blue box, Rose immediately drags Faith off to go help her find her room… the Doctor absentmindedly waving them both off…

Worriedly, Faith glances back over before she reaches the infinite hallways.

Watching the Doctor wire up her phone to the Tardis, moving the terminal screen so he can read the Gallifreyan spiraling on it.

Shoot.

She could've just asked the Tardis to fix it up and left the Doctor out of the mix entirely… not that it wasn't a weight off her shoulders to have relieved herself of some of her secrets…

It just would have been so much simpler…

then again Faith tended to find the most round-about way of doing things if she didn't watch herself.

Quickly, she tunes herself into the Tardis and her song, something that was getting easier and easier for her to do as time goes on, pleading with the motherly ship to keep him away from the information. To lock it, or hide it, or put a perception filter over it. Whatever it takes so that he won't find her true name.

…though Faith really doesn't want all the data wiped.

If she's staying here forever, she at least wants photos and videos of her family and life before all of this.

The Tardis gives Faith a warm nudge, easing all her worries, and calming that horrible knotting sensation. A firm reassuring feeling that everything will be fine.

The ship accomplishes her goal, and, although swearing to herself that she'll erase any trace of her real name from the device once she's got it back, Faith follows Rose back down the corridor with a lighter heart and mind.

She'll just have to trust that the Tardis will keep her word, and that God will continue to watch over her, as he always has.

——————

A/n sorry about that last cliffhanger, it wasn't planned, the chapter just got too long and I needed a good place to pause... hahaha. I need to stop being so mean to Faith. :p I did laugh at the review that said "RIP Faith" because I was thinking the same thing lol! Love all the reviews btw, you guys are great! Hopefully the rage rant isn't too bad... I debated back and forth over softening it a bit. It's kind of a mix of Enders Game and Pride and Prejudice. At least that's the mindset I was in when writing it. That and my mom mentioning that I can be 'ruthless when playing strategy games' and it made me think, even the nicest empathizing people have moments of ruthlessness. Ie Lizzy in Pride and Prejudice, and Ender in Enders game. Both show empathy, but both can be equally ruthless when driven to it. Hopefully I wrote it ok.