The Courage To Love Him
Chapter 7-Edited version
A/N: Did Fitz stay or did Fitz go? I know this is what everyone is waiting to find out. So let's get it!
Happy Reading!
Liv was still pissed off even more now that she had to go to Sunday dinner and since her mother didn't extend an invitation it also meant Fitz wasn't invited. Harrison leaves without another word. Fitz returns shortly after seeing Harrison leave. "Is everything alright Liv?"
"No my family is making me miserable. My job is making me miserable, and everybody is getting on my last nerve." Fitz just stands next to the sofa looking down at her "Should I take off and give you some alone time?" "Do whatever you want Fitz I'm going to lay down." Liv gets up and storms into her bedroom slamming her door behind her leaving a confused Fitz still standing in the same spot. He thinks for a minute not sure what to do so instead he does nothing. He sits on the sofa that way Liv can have some alone time and not get angry because he left. He would quietly sit and wait for her to calm down. After about 30 minutes and no Liv he decided to prepare dinner quietly as possible.
As he's preparing dinner he feels his phone vibrate in his pocket and steps out back to take the call. "Hey pops."
"Well hello there son, I just wanted to tell you I've retrieved your mother's ring as you asked. I just hope I get to meet this young lady before you pop the question."
"Don't worry pop you will I promise. I just need to get it resize Liv's much smaller than mom was and I still have to spend time with her. I really appreciate this pop. I will let you know when I'm bringing Liv by to meet you."
"I'm looking forward to it son. She sounds like a pretty special woman."
"She is pop. She really is." Fitz ends the call and goes back inside and returns to cooking for his Livvie. About an hour later Liv wakes and comes out to find Fitz sitting on the sofa working on his computer. "Something smells good." He watches her as she goes to the kitchen and begins lifting the tops to the cookware on the stove. "Mmm, you made spaghetti." Fitz stands and enters the kitchen "Yes I thought you may get hungry here taste." He grabs the large plastic spoon and scoops up some sauce bringing it to Liv's lips giving her a taste. "Mmm that's so good." She says slowly licking her lips "Damn Livvie do that again." He gives her more sauce and she does the whole tasting lip licking thing again "Ms. Pope that was the sexiest thing I've even seen." This makes Liv blush. "Can we eat now?" Liv ask so Fitz steps back and allows Liv to prepare her food and he goes back to the living area and continues what he was doing.
Liv notices "Babe you're not going to eat?"
"Maybe later I just wanted to be sure if you got hungry I fed you."
"Well now I feel bad, you cooked just for me but you don't want any."
"Don't worry Livvie I will eat later I kind of tastes tested while I was cooking."
Liv is satisfied with his answer and brings her food and sits next to him. Fitz still doesn't say anything he just continues tapping away on his computer. "What are you working on?"
"Just going over my contracts."
"Oh. This is really good babe. This sauce is to die for. Is this garlic bread homemade or did you go out to buy it?"
"It's homemade you had all the ingredients here ready for use." He says watching her eat "So are you in a better mood?"
"Yeah, sorry about that."
"It's okay as long as you weren't angry at me I was fine… confused but fine."
"Thanks for allowing me a moment I just feel like my family forget sometimes that I'm an adult, and continue to try and treat me like a child. It gets so frustrating.
"Well you have to find a way to change that. You sometimes have to teach people how to treat you and sometimes that means family. Things that frustrate you…you have the power stop it."
Liv quietly eats thinking about Fitz words when he speaks again. "Livvie we're in this together…over a cliff if that's what it takes for you to find your happiness, your peace. I know this is not an easy road for you being with me but I'm willing to go over that cliff with you and I will do whatever it takes to make you happy. I plan to make you my wife one day, so I need you to do whatever you have to do to find your happiness baby."
"Humph, that's just it Fitz you are my happiness. You make me happy, happier than I've ever been in my entire adult life and I'm scared of what that totally looks like. Will my family be a part of that happiness? Will my friends, or will I sabotage my own happiness by letting those same family or friends dictate my life and ruin that happiness? While you were out my brother tried to chastise me for dating you because he feels his mentor Edison with the ugly flower is a better suitor and my mother whole heartedly agrees with him. She wants me to come to Sunday dinner this weekend and I get the feeling it's just for that reason. To talk about my transgressions of dating the gardener they so disrespectfully like to refer to you as."
Fitz raises a brow to this before speaking "So what are you going to do about it?"
"I'm going to face it head on and let the chip fall where they may. I'm going to face my fears because I have you to lean on." Liv says placing her finished plate on the table.
Fitz turns to her using his fore finger to swipe a loose strand of hair from her face. "How about we get together with Abby and Stephen and go out for drinks tomorrow and have some much needed fun with people we both care about and have a nice time."
"Can we include Lisa and Mark?"
"Sure if that's what you want."
"That's what I want."
"Then consider it handled." He answers kissing her softly on the lips before going into the kitchen to prepare himself a plate.
"I could have done that for you babe." Liv says standing from the sofa when Boom rise up and follows Liv. "I think Boom may want some of daddy's cooking." Liv tells Fitz as she places her empty plate in the dishwasher after rinsing it off. "He's been kind of clingy towards you as of late. He actually slept at your door while you were resting until I came called for him. I didn't want him to surprise you as when you came out."
Liv looks down at Boom then bends down to his level and playfully rubs his head and ears "Boom you love you're new mommy don't you, don't you boy?" Boom responds by the wag of his tail and a bark. "See he's agrees babe." Fitz smiles and begins eating as Liv watches. "You know I love a man who can cook."
"So does that mean you love me Livvie?" Liv eyes becomes big as saucers and her voice gets stuck in her throat so Fitz let's her off the hook. "I know what you meant Livvie, don't panic baby I love cooking and I love that you love my cooking and many other talents I have."
"You are a man of many talents that I must say Mr. Grant." Liv says while sashaying to the frig as Fitz watch with a smirk of satisfaction. Yeah she's in love with me. Hot dam she's in love with me. "How about we put this food away and test out some of my many talents. I have a new talent I haven't shown you yet."
"Is that right?" Fitz smiles grabbing her around her waist "Yes my sweet baby that's right now let clean up so I can get started." It was an all-night session for the two. Liv couldn't get enough of Fitz and Fitz couldn't get enough of his Livvie. They were addicted to one another. True to his word Fitz showed Liv a new talent her favorite one being how to make her squirt over and over again and the fact he had the stamina of a twenty year old on a track field.
After work the following day Liv, Fitz, Abby, Stephen, Lisa and Mark all meet up for drinks. The patrons were mostly black and Liv immediately started feeling uneasy walking in with Fitz holding her hand causing her to release him and clasp her hands together. Fitz notices this but says nothing instead he places his hand on the small of her back leading her to their table as the waiter request that they follow her. Once seated they all begin conversation as they wait for their drinks. Abby notices Liv demeanor and leans and tells her to relax. She realizes her she not doing a very good job at hiding her anxiety.
Fitz whispers in her ear "Are you okay?" She gives him a strained smile and nods before he leans in and kisses her on the lips and she hesitantly reciprocates but he is not deterred. The drinks finally arrive and Liv quickly takes a large gulp of her red wine in hopes it will help her relax when she feels Fitz hand on her thigh running circles with his thumb and it instantly relaxes her. She don't know how or when his touch became her saving grace but she was glad it did. Fitz kisses her cheek and quietly says to her "I got you Livvie no one is looking at us you can relax sweet baby." She looks up at him and smiles before placing her head on his shoulder.
"Oh look at you Liv you look so happy, admit it girl you're having fun and you're happy." Abby voices with glee causing Liv and Fitz both to smiles hard
"Yeah you guys look really good together." Lisa genuinely adds with a smile of her own as she picks up her glass of wine allowing her finger to be seen.
"Oh my god Lisa is that…?" Liv says with a muffled scream
Everyone turns to Lisa and looks at her hand. "You're engaged?!"Liv questions with surprise "Way to go Mark." Abby says looking at Lisa's ring
All the men congratulates Mark with a hand shake and Lisa with a hug. "Tell us when and how girl we want all the tea." Abby says knowing everyone wants to know
"Well I woke up like this while Mark was in the shower the morning after the housewarming. I screamed when I seen it." Lisa shares
"I was in the shower when she screamed Yes as loud as she could and that's all I'm sharing." Mark comments
"Have you guys set a date?" Abby inquires
"No not yet but it's up to my baby here whenever she's ready…I'm ready." Mark expresses while smiling at Lisa with stars in his eyes as Lisa does the same
"I'm so happy for you guys." Liv states and everyone follows
The couples continue enjoying one another's company while celebrating Lisa and Mark's new engagement.
After leaving their friends Liv and Fitz decides to stop at the store and pick up some groceries. Fitz notices Liv is quiet and distracted but so is he. Her constant uncertainty about them is starting to weight heavy on him even now Liv is not too keen on walking next to him in the store and PDA is a definite no no. So Fitz stops trying and robotically walks around two steps behind her if not in front of her as she begins to complain again about what else the black and white things in her head. So Fitz tries to change the subject. "Stephen gave me the secret to his famous grilled salmon, want to try it?" "Mmm whatever is fine." Fitz can't help it he asks her "You aright?" "Yeah I'm fine…just thinking about everything but mainly work and how I'm going to have to fight with the white boys on the plantation tomorrow." Fitz sighs "Could we put the white vs black talk on hold for now, the white folks the sisters all of them." He walks past her in frustration and she slowly follows "What are you saying?"
He stops at the canned food isle "Just…not tonight babe, it's been a rough week and I'd like to get home and relax." Liv squints her eyes at him as he walks towards the checkout after grabbing a few items from the shelf with her on his heels. "You're asking me not to talk about race?" Her attitude starting to show "No I didn't say that…" "So you expect for me to be in this relationship with you and never bring it up?" Her voice is slightly raised "What? Wait…we talk about it all the time. I just said not right now." "When? When is it appropriate? When we're at home behind closed door when we're just joking about it?" "I never joke about it, but I'm just saying not all the time alright it's starting to make me feel uncomfortable and I'm sorry I wasn't brought up that way."
Liv steps around him so that she's facing him directly "First of all you don't have to talk about being white because no one reminds you every day that you are white. The only time you know you're white is when you're in a room full of black people. I'm in a room full of…" She pauses as someone passes between them in line causing her to lower her voice. "I'm in a world full of white people and every day they remind me that I'm black. If I can't talk to you about my frustrations, if I'm just supposed to keep that to myself…" Fitz interrupts her rant "Hey hey Olivia…woe you're a senior manager in one of the whitest firms in the country…alright? You graduated top of your class from Stanton and Warton for Christ sakes. You own a home, you earn more money than what…98% of the country…black or white and as you say way more than me so yeah tell me about your frustration cause I'm listening like I always do." Fitz turns and moves forward in the line because he noticed they were holding it up and people were more invested in their conversation than paying for their groceries.
Liv moves up behind him not ready to lose the disagreement "No no you don't want to hear it…you don't want to hear about how when I show up at an account meeting they always have to regroup and reschedule meetings when they find out I'm the one who's responsible for their multi-million dollar acquisition. They'd rather trust it to a file clerk the one who gets the got dam coffee because he's white." Liv finishes with a stomp of her foot and the crossing of her arms like a pouty child. "Do you know how insulting that is?"
Fitz is frustrated beyond belief right now. Liv is so stuck inside of her head that she's reading everything he is saying wrong but he pushes hard to encourage her. "They're jerks, forget them baby they're jerks and have nothing to do with us." Fitz again turns from her and starts throwing random things in the basket he's holding from the shelves in front of him wanting to end this conversation in front of all the people in the store who main focus is them. Liv continues talking to his back because he keeps turning each time she tries to step in front of him "Fitz if I can't talk to you about the black shit that drives me crazy or the white shit that drives me crazy, if I'm just supposed to keep that to myself…Fitz...Fitz" She calls turning him to face her forcing him to look at her. "And deny who I am…"
Fitz stops her mid-sentence "I've never asked you to deny anything. All I wanted…all I wanted was a night off." "That's what being black is about Fitz…you don't get a night off." Fitz mind is spinning. He can't seem to win with Liv when she's like this. "Look Liv if feel like I'm never going to be on the right side of the war going on inside of your head because I'm not black…alright! I'm never going to be black so maybe this…" Pointing to himself "Is not what you want, maybe it just isn't going to work." Liv gives him a look of disbelief and speaks before she thinks "Maybe it's not…you're right this was a mistake." Fitz heart drops into his stomach. He feels like his world has just collapsed. It was a rhetorical question not a statement. Did she just dump him after completely embarrassing him in from of a store filled with people? Did she just Mellie him. He looks around in with total embarrassment and notices everyone has stop whatever they were doing to give them all of their attention. "You promised." He states with tear glossed eyes as he sits the basket of items on the conveyor belt at the checkout counter handing the keys to her car to her then turning and walking out of the market. Liv finally looks around and see everyone watching them as she holds her keys in her hand knowing Fitz won't be outside when she's done.
A/N: Comment and review. Until next time….Keke
