Hello everyone! Long time no...write. With so many people under self quarantine I've been seeing some activity on this story and I just wanted to thank you all again for all the love you guys showed over the years it took to write. Hugs! So I decided to whip up another chapter for guys. I also wanted to give a Charity shout out to Direct Relief, a 4-star Charity that is working hard to help provide Healthcare workers with protective equipment and provide humanitarian aid to those affected by the Covid pandemic. If you are looking for a Charity to give to during this crisis they are an excellent one, even just 10$ helps. I'm currently running fund raisers where I'm raffling and auctioning my art on my Instagram page for this cause. I only have two art works up at the moment but I will have many more in the coming weeks and 100% goes to Direct Relief! My IG is PhoenixCryStudio


Reset

"I…uh…I don't think I'm ready for this."

"Just try to relax." Sara suggested. "This was your idea and you told me not to let you back out."

"You know most of my ideas are terrible and that you really shouldn't trust anything I tell you, right?"

"Come on, you can do this." Sara chuckled. "I'm already wet."

"Oh really?" Neal teased with a raised eye brow.

Sara rolled her eyes and splashed some of the pool water at Neal's feet in retaliation. Standing besides the intimate roof top pool Neal did his best to find the courage to join Sara in the heated water. Usually if he invited Sara to a private swim it would be understood that it would be a 'skinny dipping' type adventure, but still self conscious about his branding and scars Neal wore a thin black long sleeved athletic top along with the loose fitting swim trunks. It was almost midnight and the pool glowed a soft blue with the underwater lights. The private roof top garden that held the pool had subdued lighting that felt almost natural as though a super bright moon was providing the light rather than the well hidden electrics. Despite the romantic setting Neal's blood chilled as the light glittering below the surface of the pool sharply reminded Neal of the glow that had encouraged him to dive into the underground lake.

Taking a deep breath Neal worked to focus on something over than the water. With the night sky open above them and the muted noise of the city far below it was as tranquil as it was romantic. Neal had come up here confident that he could conquer his demons but he was faltering now that he was actually facing them. Over the past few weeks with Sara he had come a long way but this was a big step that was never going to be easy to take. With Neal standing motionless a few feet back from the edge Sara smiled warmly and backed further into the pool before motioning for him to join him.

Having been sitting very patiently at Neal's side Tango could no longer contain himself. He had been beyond excited to see the pool and using Sara's beckoning motion as an excuse Tango jumped up and sprang into the pool with an impressive splash. Sara laughed and shielded herself as her unexpected guest swam a few circles around her with his tail whipping water everywhere as he wagged enthusiastically.

Neal allowed Tango a few minutes in the pool before calling him out. Swimming over to the steps Tango walked all the way back over to Neal before he violently shook the water off his thick coat. Neal tried to take a step back but it was too late to avoid being soaked by the spray. With Autum's nip in the air Neal shivered slightly now that Tango had gotten him wet. Shaking once more Tango sat down and looked up at Neal with his tongue lolled out in a happy panting.

"Well, I guess no sense turning back now." Neal said ruefully as he reached down and pet the soggy fur between Tango's ears. "I certainly can't get any wetter."

"Good boy, Tango." Sara chuckled to the dog before turning her attention to Neal. "You'll be warmer if you get in the pool than if you stand around like that."

Nodding in agreement it still took Neal a moment to actually work up the courage to step up to the ledge. Sitting down on the edge of the pool Neal took a deep breath before hopping off into the waist deep water. With his throat instantly closing in on itself Neal audibly struggled for breath as his pulse raced. Seeing his distress Sara went to step closer. Neal jerked his hands up to stop her as he backed up against the edge of the pool. He had intended to just make it know he needed a little space but he knew he looked more aggressively defensive and ready for a fight and yet he couldn't bring himself to lower his hands. Nauseous and dizzy Neal just wanted out of the pool, however his found himself locked in place.

"I'm sorry." Neal apologized between grit teeth. "I just…I don't…"

"Neal," Sara said gently as she held her place "I'll stay back if you want me to, but I think you'll do better if you let me get close."

"I don't want to hurt you."

"I'm not afraid."

Neal had to smile at Sara's bravery and acceptance that there was a chance he'd accidentally lash out at her. Reminded that she was highly skilled in self defense helped him relax slightly. Seeing the change Sara held her hand out to encourage Neal to step closer rather than have her approach him. Forcibly relaxing his hands Neal closed the distance between them as he stepped forward to take her hand. Gently guiding him to put his hands around her waist Sara pulled him in against her chest. Knowing not to let him feel trapped Sara placed her hands on his hips instead of around his back. Appreciating her care Neal rested his forehead against hers and released a content sigh.

"Better?" Sara asked knowingly.

"Much." Neal agreed. "Thank you."

Just as he had found some peace Neal suddenly felt bile rise to the back of his throat. He tried to remind himself that even though a single event had triggered the hydrophobia it wouldn't be erased so easily, but it didn't keep him from being angry at himself. Feeling the increased tension Sara took her hands off his hips letting him know that she understood if he had to get out of the water. Neal hesitated to give up so quickly but with his anxiety mounting he knew he needed to retreat before it got completely out of control. Backing up he hopped back up on the edge of the pool and sat with his feet still dangling in the water. Tango came up and laid down beside him, pressing his wet fur against him. Petting the dog Neal avoided looking at Sara as he took a breath to speak.

"Don't apologize." Sara stopped him before he could start. "I think this went really well…all things considered."

"There are a lot of things to consider." Neal admitted with a rueful smile before shivering slightly.

"We should go, it's too cold out if you're not in the heated water."

"Going home sounds good." Neal agreed as he offered his hand to help Sara up out of the pool.

After toweling off and changing into dry clothes they headed over to the small elevator. Sara didn't even question where Neal had gotten the key card for access to the private roof top pool. She assumed that he simply knew someone who lived in the building, however a tiny voice in the back of her head told her there was a good chance they were trespassing. She hated that she still harbored those kinds of suspicions, but she couldn't deny them as the thoughts were automatic. Sara furrowed her brow when Neal pressed a button for the 33rd floor rather than the lobby but she guessed that they were about to deliver the key card to its original owner.

On high alert Tango took point when the elevator doors opened on the empty hallway. Walking to the end of the hall Neal swipe the key card against the door pad and it clicked as it unlocked. Neal pushed the door open slightly and Tango squeezed through to raced inside. Sara gave Neal an inquisitive look as they waited for Tango to return. Neal didn't say anything but his sapphire eyes sparkled with mischief. A small pit developed in Sara's stomach over the idea that Neal had somehow taught Tango to stealth check that no one was home so that he could return the card even though she knew that was ridiculous. Even if Neal had stolen the card he certainly wouldn't bother using Tango to return it. It didn't take long for Tango to return to the door with his tail wagging violently.

"All clear?" Neal asked.

Tango signaled the all clear by sitting down. His tail swiped back and forth on the shiny hardwood floors, he was always ecstatic to complete a mission. Taking Sara's hand Neal lead her into the vacant apartment. The open design apartment was minimally decorated in what Sara could only describe as a neo-rustic style. With warm wood furniture, brushed metal kitchen, amber lighting, multi plants, and white walls the atmosphere was warm and inviting but also very open and uncluttered. Large windows gave a beautiful view of the city lights which completed the illusion that make the space look a lot bigger than it was.

"Neal, what is this?"

"Home." Neal replied with a bright smile.

"Who's home?"

"Mine."

"Wha…when did this happen?"

"I got the 'keys' a few days ago, but I just finished moving in this morning. I wanted it to be a surprise."

"It's certainly that. It…uh…it's beautiful, Neal." Sara said with more hesitation than she had meant.

"I know what you're thinking." Neal chuckled. "And you're right, it's way above a Federal pay grade."

"That is exactly what I was thinking."

"Full disclosure: I helped the building owner out of a…" Neal paused as he chose his words carefully "out of a situation a few years back and got a break on rent. Nothing illegal is happening now."

"Now?" Sara questioned knowingly.

"I can't change the past. I also can't live in it."

"Neal?" Sara asked concerned at Neal's sudden change to a somber tone.

"As much as I was grateful to June for letting me live in her home all those years as soon as Jake broke in I knew deep down that I was never going to feel safe there again. Before Peter and I were taken I really felt like that apartment was home, and that's not something I've every really had in my life. I tried, I desperately wanted to take that space back as my own, I wanted to find comfort in its familiarity, but in the end that apartment is just one more thing the Labyrinth took from me. I was stubbornly staying there because I wanted things to go back to the way they were, but that's not realistic. Nothing will ever be the same, because I'm not the same. I finally decided that new lives sometimes require new starts."

"I couldn't agree more." Sara said warmly. "I'm sorry about my suspicions."

"It's okay, I have a long track record. Even Peter still catches himself every once in a while treating me like a CI instead of a coworker."

"It's a big change for him."

"He's done a lot better with it than I thought he would."

"That doesn't surprise me at all." Sara said honestly. "Peter always believed in you."

Neal heard the undertone of guilt in Sara's voice for having given up on Neal in the past. Pulling Sara into a warm embrace he silently offered his understanding and forgiveness. Accepting the gesture Sara worked to put the past behind her as well as she asked for a quick tour which Neal was more than happy to accommodate.

"Well?" Neal asked. "What do you think?"

"I can't help but notice that not only does this place have two bedrooms, but that you've actually furnished them both as bedrooms."

"Well I couldn't help but notice that you're still living in a hotel."

"Are you asking me to move in with you?"

"I'm asking you to stay with me." Neal clarified. "I know you aren't really officially back in New York."

"I suppose now is as good a time to tell you as any." Sara said. "I tried to ask about getting transferred back to New York, but not only did they say that was out of the question they gave me an ultimatum: return to London next week, or don't come back at all. Once I burn a bridge with Sterling, I've basically burned them all, insurance investigation is a surprisingly small world."

"Is that…" Neal hesitated "is that because of me? Because of us?"

"They didn't say that out loud, but 'yes'." Sara admitted.

"I'd love to say I don't understand, but I do." Neal sighed with a heavy heart. "I'd still love for you to stay here until next week."

"I might need to crash here longer than that, I don't have your New York realty connections." Sara smiled. "Assuming I'm welcome."

"Wait, you told them you aren't coming back?" Neal asked alarmed. "Sara, I can't ask you give up your career for me."

"You didn't ask me to."

"I'd be lying if I said I wasn't elated by the idea of you staying, but…"

"Neal, it's okay, you said it best: new lives sometimes require new starts. So let's start fresh."

Shocked Neal paused for a moment at everything that was happening before smiling brightly and leaning in for a passionate kiss that Sara enthusiastically returned. Sara gave Neal a puzzled look when he suddenly backed away from her. Relaxing she chuckled when Neal offered his hand for her to shake.

"Hello, I'm Neal Caffrey." Neal teasingly introduced himself. "I work for the FBI."

"Sara Ellis, currently unemployed."