Sorry for late update!
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Gisela hung back from the ongoing brawl, ducking as a chair went flying, crashing into the wall to the left of her.
Laki is going to be mad. Gisela spared a thought for the other girl and her wood make magic. She had to admit though, it was a cost effective way to repair the furniture, even if it was not time effective for the poor sucker with the wood make magic.
Gisela was selfishly glad that wasn't her.
"Gisela?".
"Yeah". It was Wakaba. Mio's father.
Shit.
"Can we talk for a second?".
"Sure". Suddenly the world was falling away. Wakaba wanted to talk to her, that was not a good thing.
What had Gisela done wrong this time?
One funny thing about Fairy Tail was the empty offices, apparently someone had intended for there to be far more assistants at paperwork then there ever were. The fact that Fairy Tail had let a non member help with budgetary plans was probably an example of how desperate members were to avoid paperwork. Gisela-
Focus.
She was distracting herself. She would talk to Wakaba and figure out what she could do better.
It wasn't any better when they slid into one of the unused offices. The dust tickled at Gisela's nose, and Gisela could feel the pressure building, waiting to explode out.
She didn't let it. This was not the time for sneezing.
"I talked to Mio's Mom about you training her, she wanted to make sure that you were doing it correctly", Gisela felt her heart drop at that, "and so even if Mio's isn't talking to me she did. She had some concerns".
"About?". It hurt to get the words out. The lump was back.
"You talked to her about gender".
"I did". She felt cold. Still. Awkward.
Wakaba sighed. "You are from Caelum, right?".
"Yeah".
"Things are different here. From what I've heard Caelum is a lot more tolerant of", he trailed off, Gisela waited as he searched, "people outside the box".
"People outside the box".
"People who don't fit the gender binary, people who don't fit the romance binary. I've heard that Caelum is a lot less tolerant of magic but a lot more tolerant of sexuality".
It felt like the walls were closing in because Gisela was 'outside the box' as Wakaba said.
Because she was not straight, had never been straight. She was a dot, a point. She didn't swing anyway. She was aro and she was ace and that would never change. "Am I a problem?".
"No". It was almost a shout. "You are not a problem, if you are lesbian, pan, bi, aro, thats fine. If we use the wrong pronouns for you then tell us. We are mages, we all know what it's like to not quite fit, we have each other's back when non mages don't get us. I just wanted to make sure you knew that".
"Oh".
"So are we using the right pronouns? It just hit me that you might think we were people you had to stay in the closet around and I don't want to force you out or anything and you can deny or-".
It was almost funny, he was babbling the same way Gisela was. "Are you?".
"I'm bi".
"Cool", Gisela hesitated. "Can I ask you something?".
"Sure".
They were back to sitting in silence. "What even is gender".
"What do you mean?".
"Like, I guess people use she/her pronouns for me because they fit, but what's it like to feel your gender that strongly? Like if I woke up in another body", already happened, "I know I would be a mess, but I don't think that I would be very bothered by a change in parts?". It wasn't the change in bodies that had messed Gisela up, that continued to mess her up. It was the change in worlds. "I'm me, it's everyone else that keeps telling me I need a gender and that I should know and-".
"Breathe. Would you like to talk to someone?".
"Could I?".
"Of course you could". Now Wakaba sounded offended. "Fairy Tail knows a bunch of therapists in the area if that is what you want, or you could talk to other members as well".
"That would be okay? I don't want to offend anyone".
"You won't and if feelings end up hurt then we will deal with it like always. Fairy Tail is a family, if you want to come to the 'we don't fit in the box', yes that is the actual name, it's a long story", Wakaba added, seeing Gisela's confused expression, "hang out, we actually have one tonight".
"You do?".
"It's why I was so glad I could catch you. You want to see if the brawl is still ongoing".
"Is that even a question?".
"That the brawl is on going or if you want to see it?".
"That the brawl is on going".
"Point. Thanks for teaching my daughter".
"You should talk to her?". Gisela hated that it sounded like a question.
"What would I say?".
They didn't talk anymore on the way down, back to the, as Gisela had predicted, still ongoing because they were Fairy Tail and when no one interrupted brawls could go on for hours or until someone escalated past the allowed destruction threshold, braw. Somehow that felt like a failure. Gisela's mind whirled with everything, trying to contextualize the talk they had just had.
Magic is okay in Fiore. She had already known that. Already seen that. I didn't even worry about that this time.
Gisela remembered teaching Aki and Aiko, how every moment she had been petrified that their parents would come out and yell at her for teaching their children magic of all things.
I didn't even worry about that.
Gisela swiped a drink out of an abandoned tankered in an attempt to force the laugh down. She ended up coughing the bitter drink back up.
It still stopped the laughter.
I didn't even think about that.
Gisela couldn't tell if that was a good thing or not, because what if that had been a problem. What if Wakaba had wanted his daughter to be normal and non magical and go to school and not end up a mage.
I didn't think about that.
It was more than that though, Gisela had known that Fiore was a little bit more sexually conservative than Caelum and a heck of a lot more sexist, it hadn't been the hardest thing in the world to notice.
But still, hearing it out loud.
A bottle shattered above her, absentmindedly Gisela created a cloud to catch the glass bits and dump it into the waste bin they had for that purpose. Max could make it into sand later.
None of that got to her main problem either.
Do I want to be out?
The funny thing about Gisela was that her sexuality had always been the one thing that she knew. She knew she could never fail her sexuality because that made no sense, she was aromantic and asexual and that was okay.
She was broken and messed up and couldn't seem to do much right sometimes but she was aroace and that was okay. She was broken and she was aro ace but she was not broken because she was aro ace, they were seperate things.
She was aro ace and that was okay.
It was the way she had always been.
The idea of being out of the closet here through, one day at a time, Gisela promised herself.
Besides, it didn't sound like she was the only one here.
"Hey".
"Mickey! Why aren't you fighting?". It came out before Gisela could stop it.
"Do you think that little of me?".
"Not that. I promise. I just know that you love fighting and I can't remember the last time you turned down a brawl and-", Gisela babbled, waving her arms anxiously.
"Calm down, I just wanted to talk to you", Mickey soothed, Pi-chan chirping his agreement.
"About what? Is there something I need to do?".
"Nothing like that, Wakaba just mentioned that you two tallked and you seemed a bit upset afterwards so I wanted to check in on you".
"I'm fine".
"Fine. So why didn't you join the brawl?".
They both ducked as a table went flying over their heads before being caught by Laki, who then swung it back down, stomped her feet and anchored the combatants to the ground, stopping the chaos and leaving the guild in embarrassed silence.
"Didn't feel like it".
"Why not".
What the hell. "I'm aroace".
"Cool. I'm pan, both ways. Are you gonna hang out with us tonight?".
"Would that be okay?".
"Yeah, everyone is always welcome. Sometimes we go out clubbing, but not too often cause all the fun bars ban us".
Gisela glanced at the chaos that currently filled the guildhall. "That sucks".
"Totally. I mean, it was only a little brawl, teensy-tiny, and what was I supposed to do after Laki challenged me like that and Cana was totally at fault for egging me on and-".
There was something soothing about listening to Mickey explain how it was not her fault that Fairy Tail members were currently banned from Magnolia's best bar, something Gisela wished that she could be suprised about, as she helped the guild pick up the pieces after the brawl.
"So-".
It just slipped out. "Can we just talk about something else right now?". Mickey just blinked like Gisela hadn't cut her off and-
"Sure, when do you think you will be ready to take another job?".
It was okay. It was okay. Mickey wasn't mad at her. Mickey was staring at her. Right, Mickey asked me a question. It took Gisela a few moments to gather her thoughts back together. "Maybe a week, I want to make sure Mio is doing well". Besides, the Mio did seem to have some sort of issue with people being busy and Gisela really did not want to upset her.
"Want to take a look, do you have any preferences?".
"I like escort", well, she didn't because people were terrifying but it was what she was good at so there it was. "No vulcans please".
Mickey laughed. "I think we're done with Vulcans for now".
Looking at the job board was always an exercise in patience, Fairy Tail was the kind of guild that took on all sorts of missions and it showed. Gisela, Mickey, and Pi-chan did combat missions in general, but Fairy Tail also did everything from repair to cooking. "Could we take a cooking mission sometime?".
"You totally should, I'll help you fetch the ingredients if you want".
"Is that okay?".
"Duh".
Gisela looked at the current food related jobs, there was one requesting strawberries, but only some super specific type that grew in this one random place that had vulcans so it was an immediate no, another wanted coffee, does being banned for life still count in your next life? It was an irrelevant thought. She went back to looking at the next job.
"Gisela?".
"Kianna?".
"I saw you looking at the board, this came in for you yesterday and I wanted to make sure you got it".
Who would even be writing me a letter? "Who's it from?".
"Love and Lucky, it's a job request for you. Do you know the processes for getting job requests sent directly to you as a guild mage?".
"No. Is it okay?".
"Yeah, you just have to put it in the logs yourself".
"Myself. Why?".
"Personally", Kianna said in a low voice, "I think that the old Master just wanted to avoid paperwork, open it and see if you want to do it, I'll give you a hand this time".
"Thanks".
Gisela turned back to Mickey, who had pulled away for the paperwork discussion, Gisela noticed, "is that okay?".
"Take a look".
Gisela scanned the paper. It was just a request to take a map from the Fiore Railway to Crocus and drop it off with their offices there.
Not a big deal at all.
"It's an item escort job for a map. If we accepted we would be picking it up the map in", she squinted at the paper, checking one more time to make sure her facts were right, "four days".
"Does it say what kind of map?", Mickey asked.
"It just says map, why?".
"Always check that, sometimes clients, like merchant guilds, they are known for doing this, will try and get a cheaper rate by concealing details like that. When they put in jobs through guilds they can't get away with it because they know that the guild would come down on them like a ton of rocks, sending it to you might be their way of getting around that".
"Jude wouldn't do that?".
"Jude?".
"A guy I know at Love and Lucky".
"He might just have recommended you, a guild is more than one person. I would write back a conditional acceptance with a clause stating that if the map is magical then your fee will match the guilds".
"That won't be rude or anything", Gisela questioned uncertainty, "I don't want to offend anyone".
"That's probably their plan. Use a mage who can't risk offending them and then rely on that if things go wrong".
"But I'm a member of Fairy Tail".
"Yeah, but has that got around yet?".
"Point. Mickey, does this sound like anything good?".
"I mean, we don't have to deal with people or vulcans, what could go wrong? You're filling out the paperwork though".
Gisela had a very bad feeling, she pushed it away through, it was time to do paper work.
Kianna was awesome.
Gisela just wanted to state that again. Kianna was awesome. She knew all the legal loopholes and how to work the communications lacrima kept at the guild and everything.
"We're just lucky that Love and Lucky is big enough to have their own, a lot of small businesses have to depend on mail", Kianna said after they finished the call, the new contract that had an increased rate for magical items, which the map actually was, as well as what looked something like insurance.
"Do all our jobs have contracts like that?".
"Yeah, its guild standard".
"Thanks".
"You do the magic, I do the paperwork".
"Do you want to do magic?". It was out again before she could stop it and there was nothing Gisela could do but talk, "because if you want to learn I am already teaching Mio when I'm around. You could join us after this job, it's just meditation right now but-", what am I doing, what am I doing, what am I doing. "Only if you want", Gisela trailed off, stuttering.
Kianna was quiet.
Gisela didn't know what to do. "Only if you want", she repeated, "but you don't have to and you are a member of Fairy Tail and you don't need me telling you that and I'm going to tell Mickey it's safe to come out now because the paperwork is gone but I just wanted you to have the option if you wanted it".
Kianna was still silent when Gisela left.
It felt like she couldn't breathe. Why did I do that? Why? It was the feeling when everything was subtleing off, like she needed to do something but couldn't and she couldn't stop thinking about everything that she had done wrong and-
"Did the mission fall through?".
"What? No. The job is fine. We got the contract sorted out, Kianna was totally right about the sort of scam that they were trying to pull".
"Then what's wrong?".
"I think I messed up. I offered to teach Kianna magic, it's just she works so hard you know and she runs the bar and takes care of us and I just wanted her to have the option and-".
"I see where this is going. Look, Gisela, I don't know Kianna's story. All I know is the master, The Third, Gramps", Mickey clarified like Gisela had known the man, "came back one day from talking to the Rune Knights with her, said she was going to be a member of our family now, even filled out the paperwork, willinging, for a non magic guild member".
"And?".
"And I think something went bad with magic in Kianna's past and she needed a place where she could be safe from retribution".
"Fairy Tail was that place?".
"Yeah".
"But what does that have to do with a fear of learning magic?".
"I don't know, but Gisela, you know that fears don't always have to make sense".
Inhale.
Exhale.
"Yeah, I do. Do you think Kianna will forgive me".
"I mean, all you did was offer, I'm sure she will. I just wanted to catch you up. Gisela will be okay, right Pi-chan?".
"Okay, okay", the bird chirped, perching awkwardly on Gisela's hair.
"Thanks".
"We're partners, it's my job to look after you".
Something hit Gisela. "Are you okay?".
"Am I okay?".
"You seemed kinda upset last time during the mission". It had just been this sort of tension after the almost with the first vulcan.
"I'm good, now don't worry about me or-".
Gisela was pretty sure this was a joke threat. She played along, "Or what?".
"Or I'll ruffle your hair", Mickey threatened, grinning in a surprisingly good evil grin. Disturbingly good even.
"You wouldn't". Gisela was proud of herself, she put a hand to her chest in mock fear and everything.
"Oh I would, just ask Max".
"Ask me what?".
"If I would ruffle your hair".
"Don't you dare", Max shouted, "if you do I will dump you into a sand coffin and not let you go. Ever. Do you know how long it took for me to get my hair back under control when you were through with it".
"It wasn't just your hair having problems".
"You're impossible. I'm going to get broomy".
I'm not even going to ask. Sometimes, with Fairy Tail, Gisela had learned that discretion was the better part of valor. Or at least that part that needed the least brain bleach, some things, once known, could not be unknown.
Of course the same thing could be said for things said.
Thankfully they headed out before Gisela had to find out who broomy was and the significance to Mickey and Max's debate.
"Are you sure you want to go home?", Mickey asked as they crested a hill, "you could go to tonight's meeting".
"Do you think anyone will be upset if I don't go?".
Mickey rolled her eyes, "Gisela, nobody will care except for you. Coming will be okay, not going will be fine too, you just need to take care of yourself".
"I don't want to go".
"Okay, then you won't go".
"I don't want to be rude or anything, I'm just tired and-". Gisela closed her mouth, Mickey had just said it was okay.
She didn't need to hear Gisela's tirad of anxiety.
Gisela's bed was warm and safe and comfortable. She could lie down and just breathe, there was no one around.
This was the right choice.
Mio the next morning was rough, she just was not convinced of Gisela's sincerity and there was nothing that Gisela could do about it. "You will come back and keep teaching me".
"I already said so. I promise".
"You'd better".
A thought hit Gisela. "Kianna might join us". It wasn't like the bartender had said no.
"You won't stop teaching me?".
"I'd teach you both".
"Okay then".
Safe.
Things were okay. Things were stable. Now, all Gisela had to do was the job that she chosen.
She could do that.
Totally.
