Second Chances

- "Perhaps I shall," Winski said. "It is true that I was Sarevok's mentor, and yes - more than that. I was his father, as that bastard Reiltar and his divine sire hardly were even as suitable for the task as I was."

- "Unlike the other two, you loved him, and that is most important," Peri answered. "Gorion was my father, not the one who impregnated that bitch who gave birth to me."

Jelena looked sadly at the young woman. She didn't say anything, however.

- "We wanted to live like a family - I wanted to learn to be a better man, to take care of Sarevok... and then Jelena was murdered. Then nothing mattered but making most of Sarevok's potential. I hardened my heart, guiding my son completely the wrong way... to hell in mortal life, and in afterlife no doubt as well..." Winski's voice trailed off as he fought to get his self-control back.

- "It wasn't your fault, Winski. It was mine, and perhaps Bhaal's," Sarevok said, reaching hesitantly for Winski's hand.

Winski shook his head.

- "I should have... I was the adult. No matter how big and formidable you were, inside of that... how did she put it, 'porcupine-armor', of yours," he chuckled a bit at that, "you were but a frightened and suffering child."

Sarevok was about to protest more, but Peri indicated to him to let Winski talk.

- "In the end, I suppose, I started to realise it had all gone wrong. You were not happy and glorious, but frankly quite insane and in torment. The impending victory tasted like ashes in my mouth, but I still didn't see. I suppose that clinging on that one agenda, my only reason to live, had been the one thing forming my reality - and I just couldn't give it up until it was too late. I finally realized it when I lay dying, but such a moment is far too late for regrets, is it not."

Winski recalled quietly for a moment, something very dark behind his eyes.

- "Weren't you angry? How ungrateful can anyone be... you were the one person, you and Tamoko, who cared about me, and how did I thank you?" Sarevok asked in a pained voice.

- "I wasn't. Hadn't I taught you myself that only those matter who have the power and the iron will to wield it? That it is only right of you to crush anyone you find expendable? And what did I matter, anyway? A shell of a useless man?"

- "Winski." Jelena's voice was soft, but he still stopped for a moment.

- "Anyway... when you came along, Peri, after him, I didn't want to share these musings with you. I said what I would have said before, so that the play would go on undisturbed until the final curtain. And you gave me swift death, which is when the really interesting things started." Winski smiled a bit now, some of it even reaching his eyes.

- "The first thing I encountered in my afterlife wasn't some horned and hooved entity ready to skewer me with a pitchfork, but someone whom I hadn't expected to see ever again. Jelena waited for me."

- "Just for the record, where you would have ended up, as you know, there are none of those. Just hopelessness and grayness sapping all strength and hope," Jelena said. "The afterlife is pretty diverse, reflecting the way we spent our mortal life."

- "It turned out that Jelena was Ilmater's servant now, and she had pleaded my case to him. So that we could be together in the afterlife." Winski struggled against tears again. "She had followed my life, all the casual murders and callous plans, and she... loved me. She wanted to rescue me and be with me forever."

- "That's love for you," Peri just said, and Jelena smiled at her.

- "And Ilmater gave me the chance. He said he would rescue me, but first I would have to be punished. I had to give up my magic, and travel to a prison in Hades... and Jelena... she came with me..."

Now he could not keep the tears in bay any more. Jelena took him into her arms, stroking his hair.

- "It all had a purpose, of course. The trek was a long one, through many planes. We met many people thinking differently, yet all of them had something valuable to teach to him. And to me as well, I suppose," Jelena explained. "Naturally my Lord had this in his mind when he deemed us to make the trek - after all he could have easily teleported us straight to the prison if he had wanted to. But he knew Winski would learn much by seeing many different ways of leading a worthwhile life. And it was necessary to give up the magic, even though it caused him pain. I saw that my Lord was not pleased about that part of the punishment, but he said that otherwise Winski would just be absorbed in that, his true intellectual passion, and be unaffected by what he had to learn."

- "How long did you have to be in the prison?" Sarevok asked, his eyes large.

- "It was not a set time. I had to make Winski see the consequences of his choices as if he was the one experiencing them. How it is to wait for your loved one to come home and instead get a messenger telling he is murdered... that sort of thing," Jelena said quietly.

- "Of everything?" Peri's eyes were large.

- "Yes. It was a very harsh punishment," Jelena replied. "Winski did fine. He never complained, and he had learned plenty already on the trek."

- "Huh. I really wouldn't like that done to me," Peri said, shivering.

- "But when it was over," Winski had got his control back again, "it felt like something that had always strangled my soul had gone away. I felt unguarded, and purified, and forgiven. The guilt had gnawed me inside so that I thought I would go mad... but now there was a feeling of relief. We were back in Jelena's new home, with Ilmater... and he gave me my magic back, and said that I am free. Funny thing... I thought the retribution in afterlife is just that you get tossed into a fiery pit and are tortured forever without any obvious point. Not that it could be an experience making you learn something important, making you better for it in the end. It hurt a lot, but now... I am not a shell of a man, I think."

He was quiet for a while.

- "Sarevok, son," he said, looking into the golden eyes. "Can you forgive your father that he didn't give you better guidance? Can you give me another chance to be an influence in your life?"

Sarevok didn't answer, but walked to him, taking him into his arms.

- "Nothing would please me more. And if you have already forgiven me as well, then let me welcome you to travel with me. Father."