Ya'll dirty, I swear! It's a number, sssh!
Honestly... :P
To RandomFanAuthor- Leoisa who? I've never heard of them. And I found a list of French swears, that was one of my favourites ^_^
To zantarak- Nooooo
To . - Also nooooo
Parc Monceau hit Calypso's Top Five list of places she had been. The sun shone, but the day was cool. The flowers and wildlife were beautiful, and the scents were sweet in a way that almost made her homesick for Ogygia, if she could have truly called that place home. It was relatively quiet at the moment- Leo and Louisa accredited this to her Disney-Princessing and early rising. Calypso had to remind them they woke her up for a change
"Does that mean we're Disney Princesses?" Leo gasped excitedly.
"You're Dopey." Louisa chided, slugging his arm.
"Well, you're the dude that killed Bambi's mom! Ha! Can't sink lower than that!"
"Will you two veeeery kindly ssssshhhhh?"
They snacked on the last of their baked goods, a little stale on the outside, but still delicious. Louisa got her three eclairs, much to Leo's chagrin.
The park would have stayed in Calypso's Top Five if things didn't tune to their usual luck.
She had stopped to examine and smell some roses, blooming with such a richness of colour, she could not help herself. When she stood and turned back to the others, they were gone.
In their place, a woman, ethereal in a white gown that billowed in soft winds unfelt. Calypso could not focus on the woman's appearance, so shifting that it was, yet she knew she was undeniably gorgeous.
"Hello, my dear."
"Aphrodite?"
"It's been so long!" She held her arms out, beaming. Calypso hunched her shoulders, unsure if the goddess was going for a hug and definitely not accepting it if she was.
"Where's Leo and Lou?"
"Oh, don't worry. I've occupied them for the time being, they're safe. I even gave them a little more cake. I just thought it was high time we had a chat and here you are, in my city! How do you like Paris so far?"
"Leo tried to kill us on the Eiffel Tower. And Lou fought some pigeons." Calypso said, regarding her warily. Aphrodite tittered, summoning a fan to waft in her face.
"You can relax, sweetheart, I'm not often one to give out tasks. I do, however, have some delectable cakes and biscuits, would you care for some? This way, my darling!"
"Uh, Leo?"
"I see it, Lou."
"If this is another pest control scenario, I'm fallin' on my sword."
"Uh, what did we talk about?"
"Oh, right. Sorry." She laughed nervously. Leo shook his head. They weren't sure how, but they were in some sort of maze. Hedges taller than them both combined boxed them in, although they could still see the sky ahead. "Where's Callie?" She asked, inspecting their surroundings closely. "Callie!" She called. "Callie, you OK?" Leo felt something warm in his pocket.
"Lou." He said. It had been a note, rose pink paper and impossibly neat handwriting. She peered over his shoulder to read.
"No-one panic," she read, "I am takin' good care of Calypso. We have much ta catch up on. Check Leo's tool belt for some goodies. Enjoy the maze. Lots of love, Aphrodite. Ugh, we're gonna be stuck here forever." She eyed the hedges again, moving forward on light feet. Leo watched her raise her hand, as if she was going to high-five it. She quickly batted it with her palm, like a cat. When nothing attached to her or sprang out and ripped her face off, she did it again, lingering with the contact this time. "I'm gonna climb up." She said. "You see what Aphrodite's given us." Leo nodded, searching his tool belt. She wriggled her hands into the hedges, grasping onto branches, finding footholds and gradually working her way up. "Anythin' good?" She called down.
"More cakes!"
"That is good! Don't eat them all!"
"Says you!"
It was going well; she was planning to see over the top of the hedge. Two thirds up, she hit an invisible barrier. "Ow, fuck!" She swore, ducking and nursing the bump on her head.
"You OK?" She looked down, Leo just below her and to the left. "What is it?" He asked, a bit of jam on his cheek from a doughnut. Louisa huffed and dropped back down.
"Can't go up." She huffed, swiping his doughnut and scoffing it. Leo hardly blinked, retrieving another in a paper bag from his belt. "Shame someone left Festus in the hotel. Could've burned this all down."
"Um, I could burn this all down."
"Go on then."
"No, it's Aphrodite. She's scary."
"Right. Come on then, ya big chicken. Let's see if we can get outta here."
Aphrodite had set up a little tea party, on a large pink-and-white checked blanket on the grass. She sat, tidily folding her skirts beneath her. "Sit, sit!" She chimed, patting a space next to her. "How many sugars, my dear?" She asked, reaching for the teapot.
"Um… two please."
"You're not in trouble, sweet girl, you can relax. Have a scone." Calypso took it, but did not eat. Instead, she toyed with it, watching Aphrodite pour the tea. "Now," Aphrodite said, once settled with her cup and saucer, "tell me about Leo. Happy? I think I matched you both rather well there!"
"And I am grateful." Calypso nodded. "Thank you, my lady. It has been… indescribable, my time off that island."
"But?"
"But what?"
"There's always a 'but'. Love always brings a 'but'." She nodded sagely. Calypso bowed her head, picking at her scone.
"No. There is no 'but'. We talked about it. Things are sorted. Leo and I are happy and Lou's happy for us too. We're all good."
"Oh, you are a clever girl! However… you still have so much to learn."
"Learn? Like what?"
"Now, that'll spoil the surprise. Drink your tea, everything's better with a good tea."
"Left."
"No, we keep goin' left 'n' we keep hittin' dead ends."
"I've a good feeling about this one."
"Ugh, ya said that on the last three."
"Please?"
"Fine." Louisa huffed. They went left. And it was a dead end or a path to the right. Louisa grabbed Leo's hand, sighing, and dragged him right. "I hate mazes." She grumbled.
"Agreed. Pasiphae has ruined them for me. Why are we in a maze anyway?" Louisa shrugged. "Excellent." Leo said with false enthusiasm. "Cupcake?" Louisa let him go, holding her hand out behind her. Leo treated her with a cookie instead, but she hardly noticed. She bit into it, examining the fork ahead of them. Leo opened his mouth. She threw out her hand behind him, shushing him instantly. "Let's go right."
"If you insist." Leo shrugged. They went right, met with another right turn three steps in. It was a dead end. Leo couldn't resist, smiling slyly and leaning to talk in her ear. "Should've gone left." Louisa had closed her eyes, taking a silent count to ten. Leo spun on his heel, about to head back. His smile faded. "Uh, Lou? The left is gone."
"What?"
"Actually, the whole bit we came through is gone."
"Nope. That's it. Arson."
"Is that your new solution to everything?"
"Yes."
"I like it."
"Thought ya might."
Calypso sipped her tea. Aphrodite had not demanded anything of her, offering her more scones and teacakes and creams and jams, biscuits and cupcakes and tea. They chatted about Calypso's freedom, her experiences after leaving Ogygia. She exasperated about Leo and Louisa's antics, but Aphrodite found them more of a delight than a cause for sympathy. "We met someone just as mad as them in England." She said with a shake of her head. Aphrodite brightened.
"Oh, you mean Joel?" She laughed, delicately covering her mouth with the grace of her fingers, melodic and airy. Calypso felt a little woozy, smiling with the urge to join this woman in her humour, but unsure why. "I love Joel, he's a funny little mortal! Ah, I wish he was one of mine, he does an excellent job of match-making and thoroughly cherishes that Neville of his." She lay a hand on her chest, content and simpering. "Lovely boy."
"Bad influence." Calypso nodded. "And a little strange."
"Bless his cottons, he didn't want to let Leo go!"
"Second-in-command."
"Quite the promotion from virgin sacrifice though." Aphrodite pointed out with her little finger, tasting her beverage. "I am sorry it took so long for you to be free from your island. Us gods, we sent along heroes, but… I did not believe they were quite right for you. They seemed too obvious, too picturesque. Leo spent his life feeling like a mismatch. Louisa is just a mismatch, I… she is definitely a little strange."
"She is a lot strange." Calypso corrected. Aphrodite hummed, nodding seriously. "May I ask you something?"
"Mm, of course!"
"Did you… input with Leo and Lou?"
"I did. Only a little." Aphrodite set her teacup down. "My plans can sometimes change for love. Leo was fated to come to your island and be your key to freedom. But, as you know, your destinies are all tied together."
"We need to help Lou."
"Yes. My darling, you can put it from your mind. You told me you had all talked about it."
"I'm just being silly. I trust them, we all agreed. Sometimes… I just feel like- like all of this," she motioned at everything around her, "it all seems too good to be true. Some days, I still expect to wake up on Ogygia."
"I understand." Aphrodite inclined her head. "Let me tell you this though, my dear. I stand for so much more than romantic love. People often forget that, but love is an ever-changing, multi-formed entity all on its own. I just help guide it."
"Bit modest, ma'am."
"Well, I am." Aphrodite nodded, laughing. "Don't give me that look, I am remarkably modest."
"Sorry." Calypso smiled.
"FUCK!"
"Ah, Louisa is getting closer." Aphrodite pointed behind them. Calypso turned, finally seeing what had kept her friends occupied. Flames rippled through a series of hedges, although the foliage didn't even smoulder. "I'll leave them in the maze a little longer. Give you five minutes peace."
"I'm sure they'd love that." Calypso said tightly, trying not to laugh when they heard Louisa swear again.
"Don't yell at me!" Leo's voice came. "I should be yelling! You stole my doughnut!"
"I'M YELLIN'! I HATE MAZES! LET ME YELL!"
"You always yell!"
"I'M BUILT FOR YELLIN'!"
"I thought it was violence?"
"FUCK YOU!"
"Fuck you!"
"LET ME OUT! LEO CAN STAY, LET ME OUT!"
"Hey! I gave you my doughnut! Not that I had much choice, but still!"
"Should I put them in another dead end and send them backwards?" Aphrodite smiled sweetly, eyes of indiscernible colour gleaming with mischief.
"Yes." Calypso decided. The goddess snapped her fingers.
"OH, YOU BASTARD MOTHERSHITTER!"
"That's not the word!"
"IT'S MY WORD! LET ME OUT!" Their voices grew distant, still bickering, as they doubled back on themselves. Calypso picked up another scone.
"Oh, I wonder what's keeping them…"
"So do I." Aphrodite nodded solemnly. "So do I."
