Bernadetta was adamant in declining to have Byleth stay with her for the second night in a row. Once they left the Abyss there was no conversation at all, each of them seemingly lost in their own thoughts, although they hadn't gone very far before Jeritza's hand softly grazed against Byleth's, then curled around her fingers, meshing hers with his own and giving them a gentle squeeze.

'I will be okay, Professor.' Bernie assured once they reached her door. 'Bernie-bear will hibernate and get some thinking done.' The girl's glance took in her companions joined hands, and it brought a tiny smile to her lips.

'I'll pick you up for breakfast tomorrow then?' Byleth suggested.

Bernadetta nodded and dived into her room. They both heard the distinct sound of several locks being drawn.

'Tea?' Byleth glanced up at Jeritza, who simply nodded and set off again back towards Byleth's room, although their progress was hindered when they were intercepted by Colin who came bounding up - gambolling around their feet and loudly demanding attention.

Jeritza remained in contemplative silence once they entered Byleth's room, following Colin to the bed and fussing him soundly while Byleth pottered around making the tea and searching out some cakes that she had left over.

'You are right, you know...' Byleth eventually broke the lull as she sat down on the other side of the ecstatic kitten to join in the fluffing. 'I do think that Colin likes you better than me!'

Jeritza grunted noncommittally.

'Is something wrong, Jeritza?' Byleth queried. He hadn't even taken his mask off. She reached out to the straps that tied it in place. 'You are awfully quiet this evening...'

He grabbed hold of her wrist before she could untie the fastening.

'I don't intend to stay.' He said tersely.

'Nonetheless, you should at least remove that thing whilst you take refreshment.' Byleth insisted. Jeritza's grip loosened, and he focused his gaze on Colin, his face set in a frown as the mask came away. Byleth put it carefully down on the bedside table.

'That's better.' She murmured, picking up her tea and raising it to her lips. 'So, do you want to talk about it?'

'No.'

'Jeritza...'

'Don't be annoying.' Jeritza sat back with a genuine pout marring his features.

'Fine.' Byleth drained her cup and scrambled up to go over to her desk to start flicking through the pile of reports she needed to grade.

'It is not just me who appears off today, you know.' Jeritza noted flatly after a bit of time had passed. 'I do not think I have ever seen you so distant with your students when you have trained with them. You also displayed none of your normal patience with that idiot from the Abyss either... not that I blame you on that account.'

'Yuri?' Byleth put down her quill and turned to face him. 'He has quite an overwhelming personality.' She admitted.

'It took an exceeding amount of self-control not to punch him for his ill manners.' Jeritza's voice was tight, his shoulders tense.

Byleth's eyes widened. 'He annoyed you that much?' She asked in surprise.

'Byleth... he was looking at you in much the same way that I would look at a bowl of ice cream. Like he wanted to take you and eat you. It was both predatory and lascivious!' His words burst forth angrily.

'Ohhhh... Yuri could eat me any time he pleased...' Sothis simpered.

'That's not helpful!' Byleth snapped.

'Not only that...' Jeritza's shoulders had begun to shake, his voice growing louder. '... He was continually suggestive and irreverent, whilst calling you his friend... and he kissed you... not once but twice!'

'Jeritza...' Byleth had climbed back onto the bed and taken his hand, although he barely noticed in his ire. 'You need to calm down. Now!'

'Don't tell me to...' Jeritza shuddered and shouldered her out of the way, bolting over to the window and gripping hard on the frame. 'A... a ...are you armed?' He managed to grind out from behind gritted teeth.

'Always...' Byleth had stood and her sword was already held in her firm grip.

There was deathly silence for a few taut minutes during which neither of them moved even a hair's breadth – all that was forthcoming was deep, ragged breathing as Jeritza struggled for control. Eventually, he raised a shaking hand to his head and groaned.

'Alright?' Byleth asked quietly.

'Bloody hurts.'

'Look at me, please.'

Jeritza raised his face up, pain evident in his movement and his eyes dull and sad.

Byleth hummed and nodded, allowing herself to relax a little from her own rigid stance. She sheathed her sword. 'Honestly Jeritza... Yuri is hardly worth anything like that kind of reaction.' She noted blandly.

'I had it well under control until you kept on asking about it.' He said tightly in reply and then winced and held his head again.

'Do you need to see a healer?' Byleth queried, moving towards him carefully.

Jeritza waved her away. 'I have suffered from headaches since I was a child.' He said dismissively. 'Focusing such a level of control was bound to bring one on. It will pass eventually.'

'We could call on Mercedes... her magic fingers are perfect for the relief of tension...' Byleth suggested quietly.

'I am not going to allow Mercedes to see me like this.' Jeritza barked shortly then caught himself and managed a quick apologetic look in her direction. 'Sorry... I didn't mean to... ahh...' He sagged against the wall defeatedly.

'You can't just remain like this!' Byleth insisted. 'Mercedes will understand, particularly if you already have a history with this ailment!'

'Mercedes still sees me as Emile...' Jeritza tried to explain. '... and that boy is someone who no longer exists - yet it brings her happiness to believe that he might have survived against the odds. I don't want to hurt her yet again by allowing her to see what and who I really am.'

'Wouldn't that be better than effectively lying to her?' Byleth's question was gentle rather than an accusation.

'Perhaps...' He paused for a second and turned back to the window – looking out as if seeking some kind of inspiration. When he spoke again, his tone was reflective. 'I believe that I might have managed myself far better, no matter how angry Yuri made me... if it were not for a totally unrelated shock that I also received, down in the Abyss.'

'What happened?' Byleth's voice was full of compassion. It brought his eyes back round to hers.

'Constance.' He replied quietly.

'Constance?' Byleth looked puzzled. 'You... know her?'

'She was a very close friend to Mercedes when we were children.' Jeritza nodded, closing his eyes against a new stab of pain from his headache. 'Her Father was a colleague of my Father.'

'So, you are worried she might recognise you then?' Byleth frowned.

'She might, but just like reconnecting with Mercedes, in the instance that I saw her and recognised her... my past once again engulfed me. Emotions that I thought were long dead and gone.'

'Was she your friend too then? As well as Mercedes's?'

Jeritza shook his head. 'It... was the plan of our father's that we be married when we came of age. She was frequently at our home, although I had very little time for her personally.'

'I see.' Byleth edged a little closer to him.

'I am an idiot Byleth.' Jeritza winced again in pain. 'I should have just left here when Mercedes arrived. I was selfish in wanted to know her again, and I was stupid to believe that I could deal with any sort of human emotions and still maintain my control.'

'You really are hurting, aren't you...' Byleth ignored his fraught words and focused instead on his very evident physical discomfort. She turned and sat back down on her bed, grabbing a pillow. 'While I am probably the last person equipt to offer comfort or advise concerning emotions... I can try to help with the actual pain you are in.' She offered. 'I only have a very basic knowledge of healing, but Mercedes has used her soothing magic on me before, and I can't make it any worse, at least!' She added when he looked at her doubtfully.

'What is it that you want to do?' He asked. 'I haven't taken any healing in years... not since I was under the care of the mages who brought me back when I was lost.'

'Lay down here, put your head on the pillow.' Byleth indicated the cushion on her lap.

He approached her warily and with the same kind of care one might use when approaching a rabid dog.

She sighed impatiently at him. 'Oh for goodness sake you donkey, man up! I'm not going to bite.'

His eyebrows raised. 'Shame...'

'Jeritza!'

He finally relaxed a little, and the smallest of smiles graced his lips. 'You are so easy to fluster.' He observed.

'Just... lay down.' Byleth grouched. When he'd done as she bade, his head resting in her lap, she slipped off the ribbon holding back his hair then put the fingers of one hand lightly to his brow. 'Close your eyes.' She instructed.

'I think I'd rather keep an eye on you...'

'Shall I just not bother then?'

'Oh... fine.' He closed his eyes, 'Be gentle with me...'

'I'm gonna kick your arse if you keep that up!' She threatened.

'This is already making me feel so much better...' He snorted.

'I suppose if I strangled you, a headache would be the least of your worries.' She agreed meanly.

He cracked an eye open. 'I'd like to see you try...' He challenged.

'Shush...' Byleth closed her own eyes, trying to recall precisely what Manuela had taught her.

'You could just ask me, you know.' Sothis spoke up. 'I am the Goddess in the room after all...'

'The Goddess with memory loss...' Byleth pointed out.

'I'll ignore that.' Sothis said loftily. 'You are literally swimming in faith magic Byleth... just concentrate on what you want to happen... No! Get those dirty thoughts out of your head right now!'

'What? I wasn't thinking any dirty...'

Sothis began to chuckle.

'Funny...' Byleth groaned.

'I meant it, though. Just decide what your goal is and then imagine it so... use your fingers as a channel to direct it.' Sothis lectured.

'That's not what Manuela told me to do...'

'Your choice...' Sothis's voice floated away in her mind.

'Oh..! That is so much better...' Jeritza groaned. Byleth hadn't even realised that she was doing exactly what Sothis had suggested, her fingers running over Jeritza brow and into his hair, leaving a trail of heat as they moved.

'It is?' Byleth asked breathily.

'It's nice that you are so confident!' Jeritza's eye was open again and looking at her in amusement.

'You certainly sound better...' Byleth observed.

Jeritza paused for a long moment. 'Actually... it hasn't merely been today that I have found difficulty in maintaining peace.' He was frowning again. 'Sleep has been poor for a while nowand I was deathly serious about the effect that reigniting the emotions that I knew as a boy has been having on me. I have been restless... wandering far more and much further at night... It has been disconcerting.'

'My own problem is not all that dissimilar.' Byleth admitted, her hand still absently playing with his hair. 'When I was on the road, I never had any feelings. It was one day after another of bland greyness. Killing and walking.'

'Time passing by in the blink of an eye, and the world moving around you as if you are merely a leaf caught in its stream...' Jeritza nodded.

'That is how it was for you too?'

'Very much so.' He agreed. 'Although the remembrance of blood and vengeance never fails to brings life and colour to an otherwise barren existence, and the other part of me literally revels in it. Even before I committed the act that changed me though, even while Mercedes and our Mother were still with me, I dreamed obsessively of spilling the blood of those that tormented them so cruelly.'

'Your bloodthirst came from love and the desire to protect then.' Byleth sighed. 'I can understand the motivation, but my unbeating heart has never experienced such a feeling of deep devotion.'

'Remembering and re-experiencing the emotions again is proving challenging.' He said morosely. 'But you do not seem unfeeling in the slightest, Byleth. Quite the opposite in fact.'

'Only since I have come to the Monastery. I am quite literally drowning in feeling here.' Byleth nodded. 'It appears I have a sensitivity to faith, and the faith generated in this place, especially at the moment with the Rite of Rebirth approaching is smothering me in new emotions that I really don't understand and that are playing with my control.'

'What do you mean?'

'My thoughts are scattered, my ability to concentrate often off... Proximity to others is distracting and overwhelming. I never knew physical contact before coming here...' Byleth smiled slightly. 'I'll admit I enjoy it... but at the moment - possibly - just a little too much and I am ill equip to handle it...'

'Well, finally, about time you admitted it!' Sothis crowed.

'Is our current proximity uncomfortable for you then?' Jeritza moved as if to sit up.

'A little.' She pushed him back down firmly. 'You are my friend, however, and so I'll deal with it. At least I can be honest with you. With others, it isn't quite so easy...'

'Huh, do you you mean that others are distracting you l better than I?' His lips quirked. 'I am obviously not trying hard enough in that case!'

'Don't start...'

'You are the one laying down a challenge!' He grabbed at her hand and brought it to his lips. 'I'd wager I can distract you far more than anyone else if I put my mind to it.'

'You are so competitive!' Byleth accused. 'The challenge is to help me keep my cool, not make matters even worse...' She tried to snatch her hand away, but he held it firmly, turning it over so he could kiss her palm.

'Oh yes...' He murmured. 'You have gone quite red...'

Sothis's cackling was becoming annoying.

'Jeritza...!' She moaned.

'You are uncommonly fond of using my name... perhaps I should change it again to get some peace...' He'd kissed right up to her wrist now.

'This really isn't helping...'

'Don't worry, I will take you and dump you in the lake before you reach any kind of breaking point.' He smirked nibbling at her pulse point.

'Arsehole...' Byleth was breathless and shaking, her eyes wide and heat coursing through her. 'Alright, You win... I yield...'

'I'm sorry I didn't quite hear that...' He teased, then sat fully up and pulled her tight to his chest. 'Here's what I want you to do Byleth. You need to breath and breath deep. Focus your thoughts only on pushing the unwanted feelings away.' He instruction was gentle. 'You simply have to fight it... expel the desire. Meld yourself back into the grey regardless of the distraction. Push me away... not physically but mentally. The only thing on your mind should be you. Calm and controlled.'

'Push me away too...' Sothis added thoughtfully. 'Blondie is right... I can feel the energy lessening a little. Seems he does know something about control after all!'

'There now, that isn't so hard, is it?' Jeritza praised her after a short while had passed and her shaking had finally abated. 'Does the effort give you a headache too?' He asked curiously.

'No.' Byleth nestled into his chest gratefully. 'Did you wind me up on purpose?' She asked.

'Well, how else was I going to help you take your first steps towards learning control?' He chuckled. 'If it had all gone awry I really would have thrown you in the lake though.' He added.

'Might still have to.'

'Is that so? I really do win then? Heh, I never doubted it for a second...' He said smugly.

'Actually, I win.' Byleth glanced up at him slyly. 'You are definitely looking at me just exactly how you look at ice cream right now...'

'Foolish woman.' Jeritza smiled and kissed the top of her head noisily. 'I like you far more than I have ever liked any foodstuff.' He laughed when she turned crimson. 'Game, set and match.' He declared.