Chapter 22
A/N: I'm still alive. Yes. Lol. Sorry for the looooooooong wait, I guess endgame has taken its toll. I was really down and had second thoughts of continuing this story… but heeeey… I will continue to write coz ROMANOGERS rule!
"Talia…" he called.
She looked yup and met his gaze.
"... I still love you."
"... and I'm sorry for that."
"James… I…"
"No. You don't need to say anything." he assured her, cupping her face. "I know who your heart belongs to now, and I respect that. It may take a while but I'll get over it… I'll get over you." he said with a sad smile.
Natasha couldn't help it, her heart was tearing apart.
"I'm so sorry, James."
"It's okay, nat. It's not your fault. And besides, you're with a really good man."
Natasha just smiled, she sat on the couch and James followed.
"you will always have a special place in my heart, James."
He smiled. "I know."
"Steve… he was like a storm that came into my life and took me by surprise, you know? He made me feel again. I haven't loved anyone since they took you, I thought I couldn't, but he came along. I tried to fight it, I really did, I was afraid that I'd get my heart broken all over again. But I took the risk and it was worth it. Now, I've ruined it.
Tears rolled down her cheeks.
James wrapped his arms around her.
"He'll come arround, Nat. He's just shocked."
"He hates me."
"No, that's ridiculous."
"You should've seen the way he looked at me when he found out."
"He loves you so much and he's hurting, but he doesn't hate you. Trust me, I know Steve. Give him some time, he'll come home. He'll come home to you."
"Thank you, James." she smiled. "I missed you."
"I missed you too, Talia."
They both smiled.
Comfortable silence settled between them. Eventually, Bucky felt Nat against his shoulder. She had fallen asleep.
He just stayed still and admired her. God knows how much he missed her and it breaks his heart knowing that she's in love with Steve of all people.
He kissed her forehead. "Goodnight, Talia."
They both fell asleep on the couch.
Clint found them sleeping peacefully the next morning.
James felt someone else's presence first. He opened his eyes and saw Clint, about to make coffee.
"Morning." he greeted.
"Morning."
Natasha stirred.
"Clint, make me a French toast." she said with a hoarse voice, eyes still closed.
James felt his heart throb. He found her really adorable. He smiled to himself.
"What's a French toast?" he asked.
Natasha snorted and opened her eyes.
"Now you have to make two." she said to Clint.
They got up and joined Clint at the kitchen.
"Feeling better?" James asked.
"Yeah… thanks." she smiled.
"Nat, help me prepare this." Clint said.
"Geez. I'll take a shower. I stink." she said and practically ran away.
"Damn, she still hates cooking, huh?" James chuckled.
"She would prefer to fight a dozen people, hand to hand than to cook." Clint replied.
"She hasn't changed much." James smiled, nostalgic about the old times.
"Hey, Bucky. Can I call you Bucky?"
"Yeah. Of course."
"You still love her."
"I'm not denying that."
"But she's with Steve now."
"I know. I'm not acting on my feelings, Clint. I'll get over it, sooner or later. I love both of them, I won't do anything stupid to hurt them. You don't have to worry."
Clint smiled.
They spent their days sparring, watching movies and catching up. Bruce were with them for two days, but he went to France to help a friend for a research. Thor was still in Asgard, but Jane had come over to see how Nat was doing. Sam had arrived on the tower with Jane. When Jane left, he stayed and talked to Nat.
"Have you heard from him?" She asked.
"Nope. He won't pick up my calls, he wasn't in his apartment in Brooklyn."
A tear rolled down her cheek.
It hurt him to see the toughest woman he has ever known broken and crying. It breaks his heart for they have gotten closer, too.
"I hurt him, Sam. It's my fault."
"You were just afraid to lose him, Nat. Just give him time to let things sink in."
Natasha nodded and smiled at him.
"Come here." he pulled her into his arms and he listened to her silent cries while she buried her face in his chest.
Clint, Bucky and Sam did everything they can to cheer Nat up. They would spar, see movies, play games and even go shopping with her. It's been a week since Steve left. And they all know their friend is just playing it tough, but she's a broken mess. And they were all worried for how long this could go on. Sam had called him, several times. Clint had asked Fury for help, but Fury refused to help and said " Give Rogers time, Clint. He's clearly hurt. He would come back once he had thought things through, he'll come back to Nat."
Clint just nodded.
"How is she?" he asked.
"It's bad, Nick. I've never seen Nat like this."
"I'll come with you."
Fury watched Natasha fire furiously in the firing range. And eventually stop when she was out of ammo.
"I'm glad I'm not on the receiving end of that gun." he said.
She turned to look at him.
"What are you doing here?" she asked coldly.
" how are you holding up?
"I'm okay."
"Bullshit."
Natasha looked at him, brows furrowed.
"He hasn't returned my calls, Nick."
"You want a beer?" he offered.
They talked at the living room, facing the sunset and the city.
"Did you know about James and I?"
"I've had my speculations, yes. But I didn't know for sure until last week."
"Since when?"
"After the fall of SHIELD, when Wilson and Rogers were looking for him but you didn't come with them."
Natasha pressed her lips together.
"Then after they returned, it was so obvious that you were avoiding Steve. So, there's that, I put two and two together."
"For a spy, you suck at hiding you feelings." he teased.
Natasha snorted.
"Didn't know I still have those until Steve." she became teary eyed.
"You can cry, Natasha. Don't hold back those tears."
She drank down her beer while tears were streaming down her face.
"Couples fight, Natasha. This is just one of those, you and I both know Steve, he's not the type to just disappear, he'll be back.. to you."
Natasha stared at the city, it's already getting dark.
"I never thought that there would be a day that you'll give me relationship advice."
They both laughed.
It's been nine days since Steve left and still, she hasn't heard from him.
Once again, she tried calling him, but he's not picking up. It always went to voicemail. She decided to call him one last time. And just as she had expected, it just kept ringing and went to voicemail. She decided to leave a message.
"Hey, I know you're mad and you have every reason to be. If you hate me, Steve, I understand." she laughed bitterly. "I lied to you and I don't deserve you. If you want this to be over, I'll understand. Goodbye, Steve. I love you."
She ended the call and cried until she fell asleep.
The bearded man in New Mexico was standing in the balcony of his hotel room, he heard his phone ring, he answered.
"Boss, everything's all set." the voice from the other end said.
He smiled. "Good. I'll see you tomorrow."
He ended the call and checked out of his hotel room.
A/N: keep safe everyone! and let's pray this pandemic will end soon. lovelots- S, xxx
