Sorry for the long wait, but I hope this chapter will be worth your time.

This story is a work in progress, some material is prewritten, but it needs editing and changes. I promise that I won't abandon this story, it will just be some time till it's done )

Thank you for understanding.

As usual I don't own the characters, they belong to E.L. James.

And the biggest thanks to my wonderful beta.)

Christian POV

Friday 17 May 2019

Anastasia and I are riding back to Escala from our business dinner with Aleksey Nikolayev whom we met at the gallery earlier this week. The dinner turned out to be a great success. While initially Nikolayev didn't think of partnering GEH to reconstruct their fleet of cargo ships, I was able to convince him otherwise. I'm not completely sure what won him over in the end. It could be my genius negotiation skills, or Anastasia's unassuming charms. I'm leaning more to the latter, but at the end of the day, it doesn't matter. The deal is most likely ours, and I'm elated.

Despite the prying of the persistent press, the last couple of days have been rather calm. No news has been found on the Leila front, and it seems that the Fear of God from Taylor with the combined set down from Ana, has sent Susannah packing. A fortuitous audition in L.A turned up and she's left town. She can move to the fucking moon for all I care, as long it is away from me.

Thank fucking God!

Mia was also uncharacteristically quiet. I know for a fact that dad had the 'Adulting' talk with her, so she's probably pissed with the world. Although I was initially hesitant with Dad's plan regarding Mia, after spending some time with Anastasia, her mature view on life has really opened my eyes to my sisters' behaviour.

Ana is a few years younger than Mia, yet she has more drive and ambition. She has goals she plans to achieve. I still believe that, while in her youth, Mia should be taking this time to have fun and enjoy herself, equally important is the lesson of balance and responsibility. I know for a fact that with Mia's personality ''All work and no play'' is not an option, but doing nothing but partying won't get her far either. She is still floating despite her desired fashion degree, which I have yet to see her put to use. But, I'm no killjoy either. If you work hard then, play hard. Mia is definitely playing hard, but now I see that she needs to start focusing on her goals.

The highlight of my week so far is, surprisingly, Hippo The Devilish Cat. While Anastasia was out shopping for a dress, Hippo found his way to my study and made himself comfortable on my lap. A month ago, if anyone told me I'd be living with a woman, much less buy her a pet, I would've laughed in their face and called for the specialists to admit the person to a nut house. I never saw this coming. I can't believe I'm even saying this, but the thing is cute. It's all furry and cuddly, and the thing hasn't destroyed the apartment nor pissed in my shoes. So, so far, Hippo and I have a good understanding; leave my shit alone, respect the space, and you can live here. Besides Ana would kill me in my sleep if I tossed her precious fur ball over the balcony.

Yesterday, I had a three-hour session with the good doctor Flynn. He had seen the news showcasing Anastasia as my girlfriend and was completely floored when I confessed to him our arrangement. The man was speechless for a good 5 minutes if not more, which would've been hilarious if I wasn't paying him an exorbitant hourly fee. But, when I shared about opening up to my family, and how shocked I was with their acceptance and support, the fucker was practically doing cartwheels in delight.

John simply couldn't help himself inserting Elena into the conversation despite the fact that we agreed to disagree on the subject almost from the beginning. Our perspectives contrast greatly when it comes to her. He sees her as a deceitful villain who fooled my entire family while taking advantage of an impressionable pubescent teen. I was young and impressionable whose attributes make the object of seduction easy prey. I view our secret BDSM affair as a force that saved me from myself, although Elena did use the same phrase recently in reference to Ana and introducing her into the BDSM world. Hearing it from Elena in that way didn't sit right with me, and it's something I need to mull over later.

Flashback ~

''Flynn, what are you doing?"

"I'm trying to find the track for Handel's Alleluia. After that revelation, I feel the need to play it on maximum volume. I've been waiting for five years for this Christian, let me have my indulgence."

"Fine, as long as you don't start telling me 'I told you so'"

"OH. You'll be getting that too, don't you worry. In fact, let me do that now, so we can move on with the next item on your list of things to discuss.

Can you see how your wall of preconceived notions, based on Mrs. Lincoln's advice, detached and isolated you from your family? She manipulated you into thinking you didn't need them and that they would hate you once the truth was out. She had done a lot more harm than good. They are your family, Christian, and this is proof that they love you unconditionally. I just hope that you will continue to rebuild a closer relationship with them moving forward.'' Flynn reclines back in his chair and with a large grin and finishes our session with, "I told you so."

End Flashback

Flynn was also intrigued with my non reaction to Ana's touches. We discussed in great detail the various psychological possibilities this could be possible, all of which are theories, but he believes that there's an energy about Ana that my psyche trusts. He suggests pursuing a friendship with her could help my trust issues around others. I have to admit a friendship with Anastasia would make our coexistence easier. The only friend I've ever known was Elena, and now, I believe I can count certain members of my family as friends as well. Who would've thought Elliot, of all people, as my friend?

I look at Anastasia as we step into the elevator of Escala. She looks lovely in her off the shoulder light blue 1950's vintage style dress.

''Thank you again for this evening, Anastasia.'' And I am very thankful. It's because of her that Nikolayev agreed to meet with me, and looking at Ana, I can see why. She's enchanting.

''Why are you thanking me? I hardly spoke a word all evening. I found it quite educational and fun.'' She smiles at my puzzled look. Educational?

''If I'm interpreting your expression correctly; no, this was not the first business dinner I've ever attended but watching you in your element was very educational. You are fantastic at what you do.'' Her praise is so genuine it's almost uncomfortable. It's a genuineness that I'm not used to.

I decide to change the subject as we walk into the apartment.

''We should celebrate to mark this occasion. To your education and my success in securing Mr. Nikolayev. I know that you don't usually drink, but I think evening deserves a toast.'' I wink at her and go over the wine cooler before she can protest.

''Champagne; Ruinart Brut Rose. You'll like it.'' I turn and show her the bottle and she smiles at my playfulness.

''Ok, but just one glass and that's it.'' She agrees.

I pop open the bottle and pour us each a glass. Anastasia hums in appreciation after the first sip.

''Christian, can I ask you a question?" I look at her, taking my own sip of the champagne, give her a quick nod to continue. "Does it ever get old? You know, the way women fawn over you all the time.'' She asks out of the blue. I must look surprised because she proceeds.

''Oh, come on. You can't tell me you never noticed the little feminine behaviours, or the tell-tale signs of flirting. The way our hostess swayed her hips, or Nikolayev's PA batting her lashes and making eyes at you all evening.'' She laughs sending tingles to my soul. It's such a beautiful sound.

''It's not that I don't notice them, I choose to ignore them. I refuse to exert energy on anything that does not interest me. However, I would like to ask the same of you."

I watch as Ana's eyes go wide and she starts choking on her sip of champagne.

"ME?! Do you mean to suggest that those swaying hips and batting eyelashes was for me? I had no idea. That poor P.A. I was close to passing the woman a Kleenex thinking she got something in her eye."

"The men Anastasia. I'm speaking of the men."

I sit back and scrutinize her facial expressions for a moment to confirm my suspicions. She truly does not know what I'm talking about. She looks like she's confused.

"Let me tell you what I saw from a man's perspective. You, my dear, managed to catch the eye of every man in that restaurant. They were practically breaking their necks to get a better look at you, not to mention Nikolayev's attempts to impress you with his art knowledge.''

I get more comfortable on the couch by shedding my suit jacket and shoes and seat myself beside Ana. Similarly, she's removed her shoes and tucks her delicate feet under a throw blanket and as if on cue Hippo jumps up and snuggles on her lap instantly.

''Aleksey? Me? You're delusional'' she laughs as she fondly pets Hippo.

''He just wanted me to feel comfortable and included in the conversation. Truthfully speaking there was a moment or two when I felt a bit out of place while the three of you discussed business.''

''Don't change the subject Ana. He was definitely more than interested, but wise enough to not to be too obvious. You are, after all, my girlfriend.''

''Uh yah. Although speaking of changing the subject, you didn't answer my initial question; does that kind of attention ever get old for you?''

It takes me a moment to form a truthful answer.

''It's as I said earlier Ana. I adhere to a strong work ethic. When I am at work, or handling business, my focus is solely on the issue or task at hand. Outside of my family, I have no personal relationships that aren't contractual. I understand that many men and women will use the tools which they feel may advance their goals, whether that's swaying hips or batting eyelashes, or charming the ladies. At GEH, I would hope that the environment I've created gives all an equal opportunity. Women's flirtatious behaviour toward me is neither here nor there. It's as superficial as icing on a cake, and personally, I hate icing."

''I'm just really new to this kind of attention and I'm truly baffled by anyone's interest in me. I mean, look at me. Yeah, I finally got out of the awkward teenage stage. But still, I'm just me little ole me. I have more of a relationship with the camera than I do of people. I believe the only reason people are interested in me is because of you. Being with you is my new reality and I'll need to learn how to deal with it. I just didn't realize it'd be this crazy."

''Oh, don't be coy. I find it very hard to believe that you weren't surrounded by copious amounts of male attention. Ana for fucks sake, just look at you. You're gorgeous.''

The words are out of my mouth before I can stop them. But I take delight in seeing her blush as she lowers her eyes to her lap. Her reaction to my compliment is sincere. She's shy.

''Thank you for the compliment, but no. Yes, I got attention, but not the kind the you're implying. I've always been an odd duck. I was the little kid surrounded by adults, so learned to grow up quickly. Folks in the advertising industry don't waste time on entertaining kids. My father spoke to me as he would to anyone else on set. I wasn't coddled, I was loved.

My father taught me the value of hard work and dedication from an early age. To finish my education in the shortest amount of time, I spent most of it either studying or being with my dad. Because of my father's condition I put myself on the clock keeping my focus laser sharp. If guys noticed me, I never knew of it, nor did I give myself the opportunity to explore it. My dad was dying, and he worked too hard for his legacy to be pissed away. I needed to be ready.''

I can relate to that. I didn't have the usual college experiences either. I had very strict orders from Elena and at that time I was so consumed with her, I didn't care.

''Can I ask you a question? You don't have to answer if it is to personal.'' I don't like the sound of this but, I'm having a great time with her, so I nod.

''Why did you choose BDSM in the first place? I'm not saying I'm an expert, but I did do some research after our first meeting, and as far as I understand the way you practice the lifestyle is unusual.'' I study her face for a moment. I don't see any judgment in her eyes, just curiosity so I decide to be honest.

''It helped me find structure when my life was slipping out of control. The rules and strict order of the lifestyle is comforting. I'm a normal male with needs and while I find dating and emotional involvement to be a distraction, BDSM offers me relief without the headache of a demanding girlfriend.'' Anastasia falls silent contemplating my words.

''It's your emotional detachment that I find so confusing. What I learned of the lifestyle is quite the opposite. Yes, some practices are extreme and even a bit scary for an outsider but, I also find some aspects very sexy and exciting'' There is that blush again. Interesting. Sweetheart, you don't know the half of how exciting and stimulating the lifestyle is.

''From what I've gathered, BDSM relationships is about trust and uncontained raw passion between partners. I've read that people form an even deeper level of emotional bond, more so than ordinary couples. Yet, you treat your lovers like a business transactions. You do the deed on scheduled time and when you're done go your separate ways. Don't get me wrong, I'm not judging you, just curious.''

I not sure that I understand what she is talking about. Elena taught me the opposite. BDSM was about total control of your body and mind, as well as your partners. There were no distracting emotions such as love and empathy. That would weaken the control. My interest lies purely in the raw sex, satisfying my darkest desires.

''I don't know what kind of research you did, but from the moment I was introduced to the scene, BDSM was about total control. Fantastic kinky sex and the opportunity to totally separate my day to day world from my weekend activities. Worked fine for the last twelve years.''

I internally cringe once the words come out of my mouth. I know I said too much when Anastasia chokes on her drink and looks at me in astonishment.

''What do you mean 'the last twelve years'?'' she quickly does the math. ''You started when you were fifteen? I had assumed you came to it in college or something, but fifteen. Holy Shit Christian! At fifteen, guys would be lucky if they made it to second base let alone BDSM? How did you even find out about it in the first place?'' she fires questions at me at rapid speed. No one understands that at fifteen, I wasn't normal.

''I was brought to the scene by an older friend, first as a submissive then at twenty-one, I became a dominant. Everything in my life was in order until now.''

''So, you never dated?'' I just shake my head.

''Only contracts from the start?'' I nod not knowing where she is going with this.

''So how you can be sure that BDSM is the best if you have nothing to compare it to?''

''Now you're being judgmental. You read some stuff off the net and now you're an expert."

''I never implied that I was an expert. But I think you're the one who's being judgmental. Don't you find it strange that you labelled close and emotional relationships as boring and distracting while you've never been in one?''

''And you know enough about BDSM to have this discussion?'' I say sarcastically.

''No. Not much, but I find the research fascinating, and who knows. I might just do a little experimenting in the bedroom myself. Besides, spicing up ones bedroom activities is not against the law, it's fun. For your information, couples outside BDSM are not bound to boring missionary sex with lights off. Trust me, most love to experiment and find ways to play. '' She says casually with a shrug.

The mere thought of her having any sort of sex life with another person fills me with jealousy and anger. I knew that she had a boyfriend for quite some time so I know she must have some experience sexually, but still I don't like the thoughts of her with other men.

It is in this moment that I recognize my strong desire for her, more than anything I've ever desired. I could use Elena's idea and seduce Anastasia to become my next submissive. But somehow, I doubt it would work that way. With her strong personality it would be me on my knees asking for commands.

Her and Flynn's words ring in my ears. How can I be sure that a vanilla relationship is not for me if I've never had a taste of it? Besides, Anastasia wisely pointed out that vanilla can have sprinkles on it.

I look at the woman before me and decide here and now that I will make her mine. Maybe she is the one that will show me the error of my ways and lead me to the light. If not, I can always revert back to what I know and never look back.

''It is getting late, Christian. Tomorrow is a big day for us, and we better get some decent amount of sleep.'' She yawns ''I'm sorry if my prying upset you. It was not my intention.''

''Yes, we do need to rest for tomorrow, and there is no need to apologise. I like the way you challenge me. It's very refreshing. You gave me a lot to think about too. Better get to bed. I still have to practice dropping to one knee.'' I say to add some levity and help her off the couch.

''I guess you won't tell me when the big moment will occur?''

''You're right I won't. It won't be a surprise if you know of my plans in advance.''

''You're right, it won't. Pleasant dreams, Christian. Oh, and one more thing. After everything you told me tonight, please, I'm begging you to keep that disgusting excuse of a woman as far away from me as possible. You're bright enough to know that I mean Mrs. Lincoln.'' With that she disappears to her bedroom leaving me bewildered. How did she figure that one out? The intuition of this girl is astonishingly surprising. If I want her to be mine, I need a good game plan in place. Keeping Elena out of Anastasia's eye is the first thing I need to do.

This was somewhat a filler chapter, but a needed one. Next we will see the Ball, so some drama is ahead.

Ilenka