Just Before You Start: Rei of Nishiyama


Si Wong Desert, 97 AG

I'm doing inventory of the herbs in my pack, the dog curled like a big lump at my back, acting as a backrest. Sometimes they'll shift, their attention following a bird as it hops along the ground or a sneeze at the more pungent herbs.

Akane is . . . somewhere. Probably with Samir, teaching each other what they know, like Toph and Nuan. I'm mostly just glad she's not urging me to learn more from Toph. I understand that Toph, more so than any other earthbenders I've met, doesn't focus just on fighting, but it almost hurts to try anything but a dance.

And Zuko is pacing across the fire, his quiet footsteps distracting against the natural sounds I'm used to. And the way he moves-

Fact: "You walk like a noble."

Zuko pauses mid-step, blinking at me like a deer-dog startled by the light of a lantern.

The dog shifts a bit too, their head coming up from between their paws and their cold, wet nose pushing up under my arm until they can peer at Zuko.

They sneeze, and the noise seems to startle Zuko out of his shock, shifting to a position that looks more-

Well, he stands like a noble too, all straight back, chest out, chin up. It's a little different from how the nobles who would sometimes take up the reserved box would stand. In this stance I can see a bit more of the fighter and a bit of a person who'd perform a dance routine when they can't remember a kata in the way he shifts his weight, ready to move in any direction at any moment. But despite that, I recognize it, recognize the energy of it.

"What else did you expect?" he asks quietly, moving forwards and folding himself to sit down in front of me. "I was a prince."

Opinion: "Yeah, but you've been on your own for two years. I'd have thought- well." I pause, rethinking my words. The dog wiggles a bit, scrambling out from under my arm and going to greet Zuko. "I'd have thought that someone would comment, but . . ."

"But?" Zuko repeats, a slight smile on his face as he lets the dog lick one hand, the other digging in to scratch their back.

Opinion: "But you must read as Earth Kingdom nobility." I frown. "And there are certainly enough of them fleeing that you don't stand out too much, despite your eyes."

Zuko's eyes flick off to the side as his hand stills on the dog's back. He does that, constantly.

"Would you mind," he says slowly, "helping me walk normally?" His eyes flick back to me as he starts rubbing the dog again. "And the others too. Your cousin grew up around us, so he was subjected to the same lessons."

The way his eyes move reminds me of Akane, the times a spirit had come through our dreams. I was never able to see them, but it wasn't hard to tell when she'd spotted one in the distance. The past couple weeks, I've caught her at it more and more often.

Fact: "It's not just the way you walk," I tell him, reaching out for the dog as they come barreling towards me again. "You talk like a noble, eat like a noble, have no real concept of the value of money like a noble, though I think that's been beaten down after you spent the last few years buying your own things. But it's in everything you do."

"Still. Would you teach us?"

There's that same movement, his eyes tracing a path back and forth as I dig my fingers into the dog's coarse fur. The dog had been careful not to knock any of my jars over, and they curl up at my back once again, their bulk and warmth reassuring as the cold of a desert night begins to set in.

Statement: "Sure. If you can get the others to cooperate." I'm not quite sure what I can teach, people usually get taught manners, not rudeness. But there is one thing I know I can tell him to do right now. I point my finger at Zuko. "First, you have to slouch more."

()

Fact: I learned Samir's language fairly quickly. I'm perhaps not fluent in it, but I'm probably better at it than I am at Fire. I wanted - needed to be able to talk to him without a translator. It probably helps that I have an amazing memory for learning things like this fairly quickly.

I pull him aside one night to ask him what he's noticed about how the others act weird. He makes a bit of an odd face, and I'm not expecting much because he's tiny - he's maybe eight. Despite that, he manages to give me a very cohesive list if things the others do weird, including a couple of things I hadn't even thought of that must be Fire mannerisms, like the cut of their clothes or the shoes they choose.

(Opinion: Not that any of their clothes are explicitly Fire, but they do tend to be of the Earth styles that are more similar to Fire cuts, and Zuko wears a lot more yellow than is apparently common. Though the colonies have a lot of Earth influence, fashion still stays mainly in line with the current Fire trends, and Toph's clothes had been the ones that seemed oddest to me, even after my year spent wandering the Earth Kingdoms.)

He has to act out some words I don't know, and we pause for me to learn them, repeating them back to him with my brush clenched beneath my teeth as I mimic the motions he makes.

Fact: Later, the dog reminds me, by way of their very deliberately exaggerated sneezing whenever I pull out the Fire spices I managed to buy the last time I was in the Colonies (though I'm going to run out soon at the rate Zuko, Nuan, and Akane keep asking me to make dinner), of just how spicy Fire food is in comparison to Earth food.

(Or at least South-West Earth food? Samir said something about trying spicier while he was on the other side of the Si Wong Desert.)

That's not something I can teach since I never learned how to cook Earth style food, though it does prompt me to keep out a closer eye on what food and spices other people are buying when we go through a town. I make a little money as a doctor, though never more than I'm sure the person I'm treating can afford, and the others make some doing odd jobs around town, and it's enough to get us the things we can't find or make on the road.

Fact: Mostly, my 'learn how to act like normal Earth peasant' lessons happen while we're around the Fire at night, with me making the others walk back and forth and trying to get them to put the wobble back in their step. It doesn't help that all of us are fighters, which leaves even the little ones, who we keep out of the fight and watching with me, very wary of giving someone a little extra foothold to make pushing them over easier.

I tried pointing at someone and yelling at them to slouch. This usually had the opposite effect on all the nobles in the area though, making them reflexively straighten up even further, and the sudden yelling isn't good on people's nerves, so that ends up abandoned quickly.

Fact: One side effect of this whole thing is that I end up paying a lot more attention to everything we all do.

I pick up some things from Toph even when I'm not watching her bend, just in the way she moves and reacts. And from what I can tell, whoever taught her to bend knew what they were doing. Her style is as sharp as every other earthbender's I've seen, but at the same time it's smoother, not as jerky.

And I pick up some things from Nuan. It's nice to see him bending again. In the back of my mind, I can still remember the itch I felt when I knew he wasn't bending, and it sends a chill down my spine. Beyond the terror of someone deciding not to bend, willingly, looking back at that time period, I remember bending so much, so carelessly every time I could and many times I shouldn't have, trying to make up for him, reminding myself that I could still bend.

Now, watching him, I can see the influence of firebending forms in the stances he takes and weirdly in the smoothness of his movements. Nuan's are too smooth by earth standards, though they're just as oddly jerky as firebending is.

And it's in this mindset that I'm watching Zuko and I realize-

Opinion: "That looks nothing like any other firebending form I've seen."

"Huh?" Zuko looks bewildered and . . . guilty? He's mid-motion, having jerked to a stop when I called out. The others are off gathering firewood and scavenging for food while the two of us watch our stuff, and he's taken the opportunity to practice his bending.

"What firebending forms are you using?" I repeat patiently. "I remember what they taught the firebending kids in school, and I can see some of those forms in Nuan's bending. I would have expected to see similarities in your forms, but you don't really have many, even though I've seen you using several common firebending meditation techniques."

He stares at me for another long moment before he shakes his head and lets himself fall into a more natural stance, leaning down to grab his water gourd.

"Sorry," he says, his eyes darting off to the side even as he turns towards me. "You just- you reminded me of my teachers. No one's really asked me anything like that since- sorry."

Fact: "It's fine."

Zuko looks at me, still wary, before his eyes dart back away from me. And it's a little thing, and maybe I would have dismissed it, but . . .

I don't think Zuko really trusts adults - don't think he really trusts me. And -

Reminder: Agni and Kun, this is a kid who ran away when he was ten. Of course he doesn't trust adults. I'd been blinded by Nuan's inclusion in the group, and the ways Zuko gave me to option to join, and how adult he acts-

But then, even though Nuan's an adult, he's not really the leader of the group. And kids don't act like adults unless they have to.

"Uh," Zuko says, interrupting my thoughts. "Anyway, my bending, well . . ." He trails off, looking kind of embarrassed.

I nod encouragingly, but though he nods absently to acknowledge me, his attention isn't really on me.

"Well, I was never really the best at the forms they taught me," he says slowly. "And when I left, they stopped working."

"The firebending forms . . . stopped working?" I repeat.

Zuko looks even more embarrassed.

"Yeah. Uh. I know that I'm doing it wrong-"

"Wrong?" I repeat. Zuko's eyes snap back to me again, and I try to moderate my tone. "Zuko, you're telling me you made up your own bending forms?"

"Not- not really," he says, his attention fully on me. His eyes don't dart away like they usually do. On a whim, I turn to follow his gaze. I can see - . . . see isn't the right word. There's nothing visual about it, there's not even a puff of smoke or the sound of someone's feet on the ground like there had been for the betobeto. Even so, I know they're there.

Fact: It's an unsettling feeling.

I turn back to Zuko anyways, ignoring the prickling on the back of my neck. He's staring at me, a frown creasing his forehead.

"Rei?" he asks hesitantly. "Did you see . . . never mind-"

"Is that the spirit that you've been looking at?" I ask gently.

"You could see him?"

Remember: He doesn't trust adults.

"No." I wince inwardly. That was a bit blunt. "But I know what it looks like when someone else can see a spirit. And you can, can't you?"

"Nuan didn't tell you?"

"He didn't tell me what?" I ask, but Zuko's expression has closed off.

"It's nothing. Never mind." He turns away from me, twisting the strap of his gourd. "I didn't really make up my own forms. Mostly I just try to use what I see other people do."

"Other firebenders?" I ask after a moment, deciding not to press the issue.

"No. Uh, earthbenders. I checked out the rumbles a couple of times, though I didn't learn much from them. Mostly, mostly it was sandbenders, fighting off the Fire Nation, or bending those sand sailors of theirs as they travelled." He pauses. "I guess I must have seen Samir's people sometimes too, with their ostrich camels, but I didn't really know that they were different from the sandbenders. I learned some from them too. They were pretty helpful, I guess because their earthbenders has to figure out how to make their bending look like their airbenders, so there was a lot of dust manipulation, midair."

I stare at him because that wasn't really what I was expecting. I mean, that's how I started out figuring out how to earthbend, but my style changed hugely after the Earth Rumble, when I actually saw other earthbenders. Zuko had a whole style meant for firebending that was taught probably on an individual level with the teacher since he's the prince. And when that didn't work for him, he dropped it and figured out a new style based off of what he could see benders of other elements doing the few times he encountered them.

Zuko must have interpreted my silence as disapproval though, because he turns away. "I know, I did it wrong, but-"

"No, Zuko, you misunderstand." I stand and move around the fire to grab his shoulder. "You managed to make your own forms based off of those of people with an entirely different element. And from what I've seen, your forms are pretty effective. Zuko, that's amazing! I mean, look at me! No- wait, I don't fight. Look at Akane! She had records from the Southern Air Temple, lots of access to firebenders, and connections to waterbenders, and her bending isn't as effective as yours."

"I- what?"

I pause, then try to tone down my enthusiasm as I let got of him and stup back..

Question: "Zuko, you know that you don't need to stick to strict forms, despite what teachers tell you, right?"

"I don't?"

"No," I say gently but emphatically. Then; question: "Zuko, how do you think new bending styles come into existence?"

"Someone makes them?" he says, not at all certain.

Question: "And by the standards of people using another bending style, is their bending style right?"

"No, because it's going to be different."

"And . . ." I wrack my brain, trying to think of something else because he doesn't quite seem to be getting what I'm trying to say.

Question: "You know how to fight. You do pretty well even without your fire, and I can tell that you were trained from the way you move with your dao. Does everyone fight with the same style?"

"No," Zuko says, this time much more confident. "I mean, everyone could, but most of the time there's going to be a better style that benefits the way they move better. I know that they only teach one style to the fighters in the army - Master Piandao always complained about it when I was learning from him, saying that even though he understood that it was for the sake of efficiency, so much potential was wasted."

"Right," I say. "So if different fighting styles benefit different people, then why not different bending styles? I mean, look at Toph's bending versus my bending. Mine is perhaps not as efficient as hers, but it suits me. Does that mean I'm doing it wrong?"

"No." Zuko pauses. "You're saying - that I'm building a new bending style. One that suits me better, because the one I used to use doesn't really suit me."

"Isn't that what you told me?"

"Yeah, but- but are you sure?" Zuko asks.

"I am," I tell him. I look up as I hear someone yelling in the distance, and grin at the sight of Toph running away from Samir, surefooted and laughing, the small bundle of firewood on her back not seeming to make any difference to her balance. "Looks like the others are back. There should be enough time for another round of manners while Nuan makes dinner. What do you want to do this time?"

Zuko glances up at me. "I think . . . can you teach us how to dance? Like you do?"

()

("And one more thing'" Samir says later that night, after he's thrust his bowl at Toph so he can talk. "You," he points at Zuko, "need a different name and backstory. Given that we seem to be picking people up, we need to be safe. You don't want news getting out about the missing Fire prince, right?"

"You think more people are going to join us?" Nuan asks.

Samir, who had grabbed his bowl back, gestures at Akane and me.

"They had an in. They already knew some of us," Nuan protests.

"No, I agree," Akane says. "Some people aren't going to have anything better to do. That's essentially why I joined."

"It's fine," Zuko says. "Better safe than sorry." He points at Nuan. "I'm your younger brother, Lee of Nishiyama."

"You've never been to Nishiyama," I say.

Zuko shrugs. "I don't have to remember it to be from there. Besides, if I'm his brother, I have to be from the same place as Nuan."

"Are you sure?" Nuan asks.

"I think it's a good idea," Toph says. "It gives you guys a better claim to each other, and a reason to be wandering around together." She pauses. "Hey, do you think-"

"None of us look enough like you and Samir to pass as your siblings," Akane says.

"Shame," Toph says. "I could have used a new family. War orphans it is then.")


This chapter title came from Stephen King - "The scariest moment is always just before you start."