How Could It Be Your Own Fault?
Jelena found the boy in a bedroom, sitting miserably on luxurious pillows, wearing nothing. If he was amazed to see a strange woman instead of his master, he didn't show it much. He just stared, cupping his crotch in his hands.
- "Ali? Put your clothes back on," Jelena said, very gently. She sat next to the boy.
- "I was told to... prepare," the child whispered.
Jelena felt a shudder of repulsion, but willed it not to show on her face as to not to scare the boy.
- "That man has gone away. He will not hurt you any more," Jelena said.
Ali stared ever more intently, suspicious.
- "Really. You will never have to see him again. Dear, what happened to your parents?"
- "They are in Calimport... I was taken away when I was playing out on the street." He started to sob.
Jelena mentally sighed. Calimport. However were they going to get the boy back there? And what kind of wounds had the abuse already inflicted on his very soul, his sense of personal limits, his budding manhood?
She tried to hug the child, but he flinched away from her, his face scarlet, hidden in his palms.
- "Ali, I want to help you." She was frustrated, understanding that he had heard all the friendly phrases before. From the lord and perhaps others who had then abused him in a way he didn't fully understand, but which nevertheless caused great shame and pain. She concentrated on a prayer. My Lord Ilmater, I know you do not see all, that you can not change all. Yet, give me strength to help this child. Let your light flow through me...
She didn't know how long it took or how exactly Ilmater's power flowed through her, but she found herself embracing the boy, holding the head, feeling the little chest breathing easier and easier. She knew that she had the power to erase his memories of the abuse. Would it be the right thing to do? She decided it was not. A life was a finely woven tapestry, every little thread connected to each other, and cutting pieces off here and there would make the whole tapestry fall apart, more or less.
- "It is my own fault..."
- "How could it be your own fault, Ali? He sent his men to snatch you away from your parents, your home country. You were held prisoner, and you are just a child."
- "I... told him I like it... when he asked..." The voice was barely audible, an ashamed, desperate whisper.
- "He was an evil man," Jelena said with feeling. "He knew you were scared and alone and knew just how to make you feel this way. Adults should protect and help children, and it is evil to do the opposite."
- "But he says that it is natural to..." he couldn't continue. "That it is... that children also want to... and I didn't run away! I could have, perhaps. If he is right?"
- "It is not natural, and you have nothing to be ashamed of. You are the victim here, the one who was hurt. And where could you have gone, not knowing whom he would send to find you?"
- "Once he had me whipped... when I told him I didn't want to sleep with him. He said I had hurt his feelings..." The voice was flat, the eyes emotionless. Jelena could not tell what the boy thought about what he had just revealed. Jelena was happy that Sarevok had skewered the man. Yes, mercy and forgiveness were important. But she had none in her heart for the man who had hurt this child and countless others. Perhaps, in other life there could be a chance for a man like that. In this one she was glad to have that predator gone, one less to do such a monstrous thing, using their cunning and position to hurt the helpless and innocent.
She carried the stunned child in her lap, strengthening him with soothing energy. The boy was falling asleep, and Jelena went to meet the others.
- "How is he?" Winski asked, his face grim.
- "Not good," Jelena sighed. "The bastard has managed to manipulate him only too well, making him feel guilty for his own abuse. He would need help from a very good cleric who understands this sort of thing. And his family is in Calimport. He has been kidnapped from there."
- "Obviously we can't leave him alone," Sarevok said. "Don't we know anyone we can trust, who could take him home?"
- "Speaking of trust, I have recognized a handful of... interesting names in this list," Winski said. "Important people from Cormyr and Sembia."
Jelena took the list to her other hand and skimmed through it, nodding, when suddenly she gasped and almost dropped Ali. She sat down, put the child on the couch and buried her face to her hands. Her shoulders shook.
- "What is it?" Peri looked worried.
- "I know who... Jelbeth Lamar is. I know. But it can't... can it?" Jelena's face was a mixture of despair and disbelief.
