Not Too Soft

- "I am torn, sister," Sarevok sighed. He was sitting next to the fireplace of the inn room he shared with Peri. They had made a makeshift bed for Ali on the couch. The child was fast asleep, whimpering and sucking his thumb like an infant.

- "I can see that," Peri nodded and sat next to him. She wrapped her arm around Sarevok's huge shoulders.

- "I care for this child, Peri! I can not follow your advice and let the rest of the world take care of itself, not when it has a... face. While I was not broken like he is, it was certainly not for lack of trying... while the lord manipulated and muddled his brain and Reiltar just tried to beat and humiliate me into submission, we have so much in common. No, I can't leave Ali to his own fate. And yet... Calimport is in a completely wrong direction. It takes gods know how long to travel there, and I would not have a day more than absolutely necessary that Tamoko remains not buried in her own soil."

- "Perhaps there is someone we could trust in this matter?" Peri said. "Someone who would take Ali home in behalf of us."

- "But that is just it!" Sarevok cried, pain behind his eyes. "A worshipper of Ilmater, a man running an orphanage everybody loves for his unselfish good deeds... if a man like that can be a vile child-torturing demon, then whom could we possibly trust with a task like that? I know that I trust you whom I travel with, but there are no others... on this plane anyway."

Peri was quiet, biting her lip. She felt extremely frustrated and anxious that she could not offer Sarevok a solution, to take his pain away. It almost made her feel angry at Sarevok, for making her feel inadequate.

- "And mother..." Sarevok went on, "I don't know what she will do. Her faith in Ilmater always has been such a source of strength for her."

- "I really can't say that I understand how she functions, but she has one thing in common with Gorion," Peri said. "She really can love, and she has peace in her heart. She knows who she is and needs not to hate and rage. I am sure she will come through once she gets that Ilmater is not omnipotent. Good thing that Winski and Imoen are with her."

Sarevok nodded.

- "It is hard to explain the way I love her. It was... the very first moment Winski led me to Reiltar's kitchen and introduced me to her. She looked at me like I was the most wonderful thing in the world, and she would be the soft arms and gentle voice, the scent of a woman I never had... funny how much you can miss those, waking up crying from your nightmares, if you never had them." His voice trailed off.

- "That sort of love is very primal, I suppose. A need to be unconditionally loved, something that a relationship of a baby and a mother typically fulfills. Not that I would know. Just have read some clerical stuff in Candlekeep while looking for the naughty parts," Peri grinned bitterly.

- "Did Gorion not love you that way?" Sarevok asked.

- "Not quite... I mean, he really, really loved. But there was this dark undercurrent I didn't understand. Now I realize, of course, that he was worried of what I would become. He was willing to take a risk that I would become a complete monster. Perhaps I did," Peri shrugged.

- "Don't, Peri. I think I still win the monster competition," Sarevok said, smiling slightly.

- "Well. I think your recent activities cancel the edge out." Peri was smiling a little too.

Sarevok rose and paced for a moment, then walked to the sleeping Ali, his face softening to the extent it almost never did. He touched lightly the child's cheek, a tear rolling down his cheek.

- "Perhaps... if I had listened... I would have my own child by now. If Tamoko had been the mother, the children would be absolutely beautiful," he mused.

Resolve on his face, he looked Peri in the eye.

- "Death to those who are behind this vilest of breach of trust. I think Tamoko would understand... that she will understand. I will pray to the souls of her ancestors to make her wait a pleasant one. I will have to take care that Ali gets home to his parents and that these people are brought down. They must be stopped. And gutted and dismembered, I feel tempted to add."

He walked back to Peri, looking agitated.

- "I would love to take Ali as my own... but... he has a family. He needs to get back to his own mother and father."

- "Yes, bro. And the life we lead isn't exactly the best sort of life for a kid, especially a wounded one like he is," Peri nodded.

Am I getting too soft, too goody-goody to keep us focused? Then Peri took a look at Ali, who shuddered in his sleep, his little face tight in pain. No, not too soft. Just enough, she decided.