I talked to Charles about the food thing and he offered to give you some tips for your next kitchen duty to make things taste better.

That's nice of him. But I got banned from the kitchen.

What did you do this time?

I started a fire

On purpose?

Maybe

Diaz…

More strategic use of punctuation?

What happened?

This guard was pissing me off so I threw some grease on the stove

Oh, dear.

Then some dumb-dumb decided to throw water on it

That's kitchen 101! Never throw water on a grease fire! That will only splash the flaming grease. You need to use baking soda.

No one here knew that. It was funny watching them run around looking for the fire extinguisher

And you just stood there laughing at them, didn't you?

Maybe

Did you get in trouble?

I made it look like an accident

No solitary?

Nope

Did you lose your privileges again?

Yep

I'm sorry.

Stop

Sorry.
I mean not sorry.
I mean how are things?
Aside from that.

Same old same old

Did you beat anyone up this week?

Not yet

Well that's progress, right?

It's boring, that's what it is

You're learning how to survive without taking it out on other people.

Or maybe I just get tired of being the alpha

Uh, no, you'd never get tired of that.

Maybe I'm tired of getting forks thrown at me

I think you're tired of missing visiting days.
Because you don't get to see us.

Maybe

I guess that's as close to an affirmative as I'm ever going to get.

Definitely