Chapter 16
Tuesday, 13 October, 1998
1015 PDT
University Heights
San Diego, CA
Breakfast had not gone well. Aware of the important talk which would be taking place this morning, Trish and Frank gave Harm and Mac plenty of space. Trish left early for the art gallery, while Frank chose to have breakfast at the club before playing golf.
The space wasn't necessary. As they sat across from each other at the kitchen table, Harm and Mac appeared to be a thousand miles apart.
The drive from La Jolla into San Diego was silent. Harm had attempted to point out some of the city's major sights, but Mac made it clear that she wasn't interested.
Harm made the transition from I-805 onto El Cajon Blvd and soon began crossing familiar streets. After traveling a few blocks, he turned south onto Oregon Street, where a massive water tower was visible from over a mile away. Harm continued driving through residential streets until he pulled up to a neighborhood park which was adjacent to the huge green-painted steel tank laced with iron rivets.
"The park is where we'll have our talk, but this tower is important to me. I've never taken anyone here to see it," Harm explained.
Mac perked up knowing that no one had been here with Harm. "It's quite a landmark," she observed, and they exited the car for a closer look.
University Heights was inland from San Diego Bay, so the weather was comfortably warm. Harm was in Chinos and a sports shirt, while Mac was dressed in jeans and a tight sweater, and she was wearing mid-calf high brown leather boots.
The men working in the nearby utility yard took notice of the beautiful brunette and work slowed to a crawl.
"The North Water Tower has been a part of East San Diego for as long as I can remember," Harm began. "I could see the tower from our old house, and as a little boy I imagined what it would be like to climb to the top and be standing above everyone and everything. I'd be King of San Diego."
"Pardon me, Your Majesty, but did you ever climb it?"
"I mentioned it to Tom Boone, and one night we stopped here on our way back from Miramar. Back then there wasn't a lock on the gate, so we walked into the utility yard and started climbing the tower. It was a clear night, and when we reached the top we could see Mission Bay, NAS San Diego, and all the way down to National City."
"It sounds nice."
"It was, until someone spotted us. The police were waiting when we climbed down."
"Busted! What happened?"
"We caught a break. One of the officers had been Master at Arms on the USS Constellation, so Tom managed to talk his way out of trouble. My dad being MIA didn't hurt our cause."
"Thank god for professional courtesy. It saved Tom from paying a fine."
"Tom didn't care about a fine. He was afraid that the police would impound his '69 Chevy Chevelle and get the premium vinyl seats dirty. Worse still, without a car he'd have to call my mother to pick us up, and then explain to her what we'd been up to."
"Was there ever a time when Captain Boone wasn't getting into trouble?"
"He and Bill Ross were always up to something. My old elementary school isn't far from here, and when Tom and Bill were stationed at Miramar they'd sometimes fly over the school during my morning recess."
"That's well out of policy."
"They got away with it until one morning they flew too low, and Principal Morton was able to read their MODEX numbers. Those are visual identification tail codes used to identify the aircraft's organization, and the specific aviators. Principal Morton made the SecNav seem like Bud Roberts, so Tom and Bill got into all kinds of trouble, not only with Base Operations, but with the San Diego Unified School District. Tom claimed the SDUSD wanted to give him ten years of detention."
Once again, Mac found it hard to picture the USS Seahawk's two most senior officers as being mischievous young aviators. "It sounds as though you spent a lot of time with Captain Boone."
"My being with Tom was as close as I could get to being with my dad. I think it cut both ways. Sometimes Tom would say things to me like 'Harm, do you remember when we went shopping in Hong Kong?' Then he would realize that he wasn't talking to my dad."
"Did you feel the same way about Josh Pendry?"
Harm tried to duck the question. "I don't follow you."
"Like hell you don't." Mac asked point blank, "Did you love Annie? or were you using her son as a substitute for your friend Luke?"
Harm was unwilling to admit to either. "When Josh grows up he wants to become an aviator. It's the same dream that I had at his age, and I achieved half of it: I became an aviator, I didn't necessarily grow up."
Mac was in no mood for humor. "You had Tom Boone supporting you, so you felt obligated to do the same for Josh."
"Yes, but by supporting Josh, I was supporting everything that Annie adamantly opposes. She doesn't want Josh to fly. That's one of the reasons our relationship ended."
It wasn't the perfect answer, but because it confirmed to Mac that Annie Pendry was out of the way, she could live with it.
Annie may be a neurotic mess, but keeping Josh away from airplanes shows that she at least has common sense.
"And Captain Boone's relationship with your mother?" Mac asked.
"I can't speak for them."
"Then speak for yourself."
"I liked having Tom visit the house. My mom would serve dinner, and then Tom and I would sit at the kitchen table and talk about flying. Tom would tell me stories about my dad, and what a great pilot he was. Honestly, most of what I know about my dad came from Tom, and from my grandmother."
"Your mother didn't talk about your father?"
"Not often. After the POWs returned from Vietnam, hardly at all. By then she had steeled herself to the idea that he'd never be coming home." Harm spoke softly. "She was right about that."
"Then you wouldn't have objected to your mother and Tom Boone having a serious relationship?"
"I didn't want my mother involved with anyone. I expected my dad to come home."
"Your grandmother never remarried, so you expected the same from your mom?"
"Sarah Harmon Rabb makes her own way in life. No one in their right mind is going to second guess Grams. As for my mother and Tom, after my mom became engaged to Frank, I didn't see Tom again until I graduated from flight school."
"So, you automatically resented Frank for pushing Tom Boone out of your life."
"My mother would have never married another aviator. As long as Tom kept flying, their relationship could have never been more than platonic. If Tom had imagined it could be more, he was mistaken. It had nothing to do with Frank."
"But you still resented your new stepfather."
"In my heart I knew that my father wasn't dead, so yes, I felt that my mother had abandoned my father."
"So, you took it out on Frank."
"Yes, and I'm ashamed of myself. I behaved like a selfish little boy who had his mother's undivided attention, and who didn't want to share it with anyone else."
"But Frank put up with you."
"He did. My punishment was throwing away a lot of good years with the man who my mother loves, and who has always stood by me ready to help in any way that he could. Now I'm doing my best to mend fences between the two of us."
"And?"
"It's working. Frank and I are now like-"
"Like father and son?" Mac interjected.
"I suppose you could say that," but Harm couldn't bring himself to say it.
"Don't you feel better for getting this off your chest?" Mac asked.
"No. Discussing it with you makes me uncomfortable, which seems to provide you with a strange sense of satisfaction."
"If this conversation made you uncomfortable, you had better suck it up, because we're just getting started."
As the pair moved through the park, Harm pointed out the playground where his mother would take him as a small boy, and then the ball field where he began playing Little League baseball.
"My mother came to watch every one of my games," Harm said proudly.
There were numerous large trees scattered around the grounds, and Harm found a spot which had a bench and offered a bit of privacy.
Before sitting down, Harm asked Mac if she'd like to go for coffee?
"You're dreaming if you think you'll weasel away now. Sit your ass down."
The silence was deafening.
Mac couldn't stand another minute and spoke up. "Since you've conveniently lost the power of speech, I'll cut to the chase. I'm not the kind of woman who does casual dating. We start with a committed relationship, which must be monogamous."
Mister, I'm going to have you on a short leash.
"I'm not interested in seeing anyone else." Harm had to admit that Mac was being logical and pragmatic; coming from a place of strength and reason, as opposed to a crumbling emotional mess- like Annie.
"Our relationship must be out in the open, and without skulking around and trying to snatch a night or two alone," Mac stated plainly. She had gone through that with Col. John Farrow and she would not do it again.
"I fully respect your feelings."
"Save the respect for the next time we square off in the courtroom. Your father proposed to Trish on their second date, and they were married five days later. That won't work for me. I want a formal engagement, with announcements."
Harm was caught off guard by Mac already planning an engagement. "We're getting ahead of ourselves. (My being restored to active flight status could change everything). I have a few reservations."
Mac's tone was clipped. "List them."
"Your jealousy for a start. It's out of hand, and completely unfounded."
"Unfounded my ass. Everywhere we go I see women hitting on you. Stewardesses, girls working at rental car agencies, waitresses, shop assistants. The list is endless."
"I don't do anything to encourage them. The most I do is smile."
"The smile is what encourages them, and you damned well know it." As far as Sarah MacKenzie was concerned, once they were in a relationship, Harmon Rabb's smile, and all of his other physical attributes, would belong to her.
"I'll make it a point to frown more often," Harm joked.
"Don't be a smartass. Let's not forget female officers. While we were in Arizona, Commander Coulter was coming on to you like a bitch in heat."
"There's nothing going on between Teresa Coulter and myself. Our relationship is strictly professional," although Harm remembered that the Commander stated that she found him attractive.
"Don't think that I haven't noticed the way that Carolyn Imes looks at you."
"Carolyn's justifiable homicide defense was going to land me in prison for twenty years. She's not on my social calendar."
"There was also Lieutenant Schiparelli."
Harm groaned. "For the last time, when you saw us in the car, Tina and I had just hustled a couple of Marines in a pool game. It's not like you haven't done the same thing at the shooting range in Tysons Corners. You've won so many side bets that Admiral Chegwidden is the only person at the office who'll go shooting with you."
"That insubordinate little tramp had her tongue down your throat, Harm. I'm not French kissing the Admiral at the range."
"What I'm trying to say is that you should be impulsive every now and then."
"Like firing an MP5 in the courtroom? That stunt is going to do wonders for your career."
"Never mind me. It wouldn't hurt you to go out and have some fun."
"I like to have fun," Mac fired back.
"Your idea of having fun is a morning run followed by a workout at the gym. On the way home you'll pound down a double Beltway Burger and then pick up your Beretta at the apartment. After an afternoon spent at the shooting range, you come home, clean your M9, take a bath, and then curl up with a book- something on the Commandant's recommended reading list, or the newest issue of Leatherneck Magazine."
Mac glared at Harm. "Is that what you really think? that I'm just some Marine automaton."
"Of course not." Harm reached for Mac's hand, but she slapped it away.
"Don't touch me," she snarled. "It makes it worse when you touch me, because I know it's meaningless to you."
"Nothing couldn't be further from the truth."
"Then prove it."
"What do you expect me to do? Rip off your clothes and take you here on the bench?"
Mac stood up and unbuckled her belt.
Harm looked nervously from side to side. "Sit back down. I can't talk to you when you're like this."
"You mean when I'm expressing my feelings? We can't all be the always unflappable Harmon Rabb. Some of us show emotion, but as an Academy man, you wouldn't want to be anything other than an officer and a gentleman."
Go ahead, Harm. Yell at me, scream at me. Tell me that I'm a horrible demanding bitch and that you can't stand to be around me. For god sake, just tell me something.
"Does is bother you that I went to the Academy? I don't care that you were ROTC. Lot's of fine officers were commissioned from college. Tom Boone-"
"Stop talking about Tom Boone. You know damned well it's because you were at the Academy with Diane, and because you brought her home."
"I've told you before that I brought lots of friends home."
"Don't play games with me, Harm. When you look at me, do you still see Diane?"
"Of course not. You and Diane look a lot alike, but that's where it ends. The two of you have totally different personalities."
"So, that's why you're telling me to become more impulsive? Your plan is to turn me into her!"
"That is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard you say."
"But you didn't deny it!"
"No, Mac, I don't plan to turn you into Diane. Why do you always have to make a big production out of everything?"
"Because sooner or later, everything to do with you becomes a big production."
"Then don't forget that you are the one who insists on involving yourself in my personal life."
"I wanted to meet your family and make an effort to get to know them and make a good impression. I wanted to know all about your passions and hobbies and try to connect to those areas of your life as much as possible. Even going flying with you in Sarah, and you know I don't like to fly. I'm interested in your thoughts, ambitions, opinions, and the things you say."
"You've gone far beyond that. You had to come along to Norfolk when I confronted Commander Hobarth about Diane's murder, you insisted on accompanying me to Russia, and you invited yourself here to San Diego."
It was true, but Mac didn't want to hear it. Harm's no-nonsense approach might be useful in the workplace, but it was hurtful when he didn't empathize, or became impatient by Mac being upset over something.
Marines don't defend, they attack.
"My coming here was a mistake. I'm flying home tomorrow. Once I'm gone you can drag another woman home for mommy to inspect...Darling. Do you know how twisted it sounds for a mother to call her grown son darling? It's no wonder that none of your girlfriends were good enough for Trish. She'll never share her little boy with another woman."
Harm scowled. "You are way out of line. Say whatever you want to about me, but don't take it out on my mother because your own mother walked out on you."
Mac shook her head slowly back and forth. "I deserved that."
"Mac, every relationship faces its share of obstacles, but I didn't expect my mother to be one of them. It's true that she has a strong maternal drive, but not only towards me. My mother is protective towards anyone who she feels needs parental guidance."
Mac nodded in agreement. "That certainly includes me. You may not believe it, but this is the first time in my life that I've been treated like a daughter."
"I think I understand." Harm knew that Mac's home life had been miserable, while is own had been safe and secure.
"At first I enjoyed being the focus of Trish's attention. But now I feel uncomfortable around her. Besides that, my every waking moment is being spent with her or with Frank," Mac admitted.
"They're pressuring you about our relationship."
"Frank isn't bad, but Trish is over the top. When we were leaving the spa I had to tell her to back off. I didn't want to, but she left me no choice."
"Unfortunately, my mom can come on a bit strong, but she likes you, Mac. My mom sees all of the wonderful things in you that I see every day when we're together," and Harm gave her his flyboy smile.
Mac rolled her eyes. Fight it off, MacKenzie. Score some points before your inevitable surrender.
"I thought that my making this trip would clear the logjam we call our relationship. But now I wonder if it is even possible? Other than our visit to the gliderport, we've hardly had any time alone," Mac said.
"I may have the remedy. I've booked us into an ocean front suite at the Hotel Del Coronado for tomorrow and Thursday nights."
"You booked the room ahead of our talk? You're quite confident, Commander."
"More like guardedly optimistic, Major."
Mac gave Harm a quizzical look. "How many bedrooms are in that suite?"
"One bedroom," Harm deadpanned.
"I know you too well. How many beds are there in that one bedroom?"
"One king size bed...with a sofa bed in the living room. Just in case I've misread your intentions."
Mac moved close Harm. "You read me loud and clear, Sailor."
Harm put his arm around Mac's shoulder and pulled her tight. "In that case, we'll tackle that logjam while alone in our room tomorrow night."
"Remember, Counselor, an innocent statement can result in a legal obligation. I consider that a binding contract."
"Then let's seal our contract with a kiss."
When Harm kissed Mac firmly on the lips, two homeless men who were seated across the park applauded. One of them shouted, "It's about damned time!"
