In the summer before fifth grade, Marvin Finster, concerned that Charles' (female) friends may make him more feminine than desired, takes Charles, Stu, and Drew out on a manliness camping trip. Ironically, though, Charles is able to make use of the skills Melinda, Didi, Betty, and Charlotte have taught him all through his fourth-grade year.

Inspired by the "Hey Arnold" episode "Roughin' It" and the "Loud House" episode of the same name

All through his fourth-grade year, young Chas loved hanging out with his friends, most of whom were female. Yes, as well as three boys (Stu, Drew, and Howard), Chas had four girls for friends—Melinda, Didi, Betty, and Charlotte.

Even during the summer vacation of 1967, Charlotte would invite Melinda, Didi, Betty, and even Chas to her house for a sleepover. They would watch soap operas and listen to opera music. While they were at the McSell residence, Charlotte's big sister, fifteen-year-old Miriam McSell, would offer Chas and the girls some smoothies, but they would all politely decline.

And once Miriam was out of listening range, Charlotte would say to her friends, "It's all right, we can make our own smoothies."

"Yeah," said Betty. "I hear Miriam uses green berries in her smoothies anyway, and as my pop always says, 'Red and sweet are good to eat, but I swear by this sonnet, green will make you vomit.'"

Chas heard Betty loud and clear.


On another occasion, Chas and the girls were watching a soap opera. In it, a man was saying to the woman he loved, "Karen, let me be your North Star. No matter where this journey takes you, I'll always be there to guide you home."

"Oh, Brian," said the woman as she and the man of her dreams kissed each other, much to Chas, Melinda, and Betty's disgust.

"Oh, please!" said Didi in criticizing the soap opera. "North Star? My Girl Scout leader always tells me that moss always grows on the north side of trees, so moss is a more reliable means of navigation than stars."

Again, Chas heard Didi.


At a later sleepover, Charlotte was giving both Chas and Melinda a makeover, with cucumber slices and mud masks to boot.

Melinda said to Chas, "Take it from someone who's been playing in the mud all her life; this mud is both cleansing and invigorating."

Chas smiled as he said, "Ooh, my pores are tingling already!"


And during a fashion sleepover, Charlotte and Melinda taught Chas how to sew, which served him well as he tailored the two girls' dresses.

"Excellent job with the fringes, Charles," said Melinda.

"I never thought I'd say this, but you would make a great tailor," said Charlotte. "I mean, you might as well be one of us girls."

Little did Chas know that his own father, Marvin, was overhearing him, Melinda, and Charlotte, and Marvin was concerned for his son.

"Yikes!" he thought. "Is my son's spending all his time with girls turning him into a girl? The boy's just lucky he has me to make him a man…"


So, the next day, Marvin decided to bring it upon himself to speak to Chas: "You know, Charles, I've been thinkin'; since your friends are making you… unmanly…"

"What do you mean, dad?" asked Chas.

"Lou Pickles and I have decided to bring it upon ourselves to take you and the Pickles brothers out camping, just like we do every year, but this time, we're spending a week in the extreme wilderness."

"What?"

"That's right. We'll be sleeping under the stars, cooking wienies and beans over an open campfire, hiking up the mountains…"

"And you and Mr. Pickles are talking Stu and Drew into joining me?" asked Chas with an uneasy look on his face.

"Of course," Marvin replied. "Two men, three boys, what could possibly go wrong?"


But as Marvin drove Lou, Stu, Drew, and Chas to the great outdoors, Chas found himself caught in the middle of an argument between Stu and Drew.

"I can't believe you destroyed my sand castle back at the beach!" cried Stu.

"Well, you stomped all over mine!" snapped Drew.

"Well, you poured sand down my shorts!"

"Well, you dropped a crab on my stomach!"

"Well, you…"

Thankfully for Chas, Lou interrupted the brothers' feud by shouting, "Boys! Boys! Stop arguing with each other!"

"Come on, Louis," said Marvin. "A little fighting never hurt anyone!"

"A little fighting?!" cried Lou. "Now see here, Marvin! If you think that was 'a little fighting,' you should have seen what my cousin Miriam did to me when we were Stu and Drew's age! She stole my glasses so I couldn't see!"

"Oh, now, Lou…"

"She did!"

"Whoops, here we are!"

And Marvin parked in a secluded area in the woods. Boy, were Chas, Stu, and Drew excited!

"Come on, you guys!" shouted Chas. "Let's go jump in the lake!"

"No, let's hike up the mountain like your pop said we would!" cried Stu.

"Not so fast, slugger!" said Marvin to Chas. "Real men must make camp first."

"Make camp?" asked Chas.

"Sure! You, Stu, and Drew will pitch the tent, gather firewood, haul water… there's a lot of work to do before the fun begins."

Chas, Stu, and Drew all groaned in disappointment.


In time, Marvin, Lou, Chas, Stu, and Drew had finished setting up camp.

But by this point, Chas asked his father, "Which way to the bathroom, dad?"

Marvin replied, "Real men do their business in front of a tree like a great animal."

This response left Chas stunned and confused as Drew laughed at him and whispered to Stu, "Boy, I'd be pretty embarrassed if I were him!"

But then, Lou asked his two sons, "Stu, Drew, do you two need to go as well?"

Drew stopped laughing, and after he and Stu looked at each other, they immediately followed Chas to the trees to do their own business.


That night, there were two tents. Lou and his two sons slept in one tent, while Marvin and Chas slept in the other.

Stu and Drew were having a relatively easy time, their father having brought the bug spray so the mosquitoes wouldn't bother anyone.

However, this didn't stop Stu and Drew from fighting over the former's red blanket, which they both were using for a bedspread. Because Stu was taking up his whole blanket, Drew found himself shivering. So, he tried to take up some of the blanket for himself, but Stu snagged it away in his sleep. This got Drew to scream into Stu's ear, which woke him up.

"I'm up! I'm up! What's for breakfast?!" cried Stu.

But soon, Stu found that Drew had stolen his blanket, so he took it back. And it was the same thing over and over again.

But as for Chas, his father's snoring kept him awake. And he said to himself, "I can't believe it: beans, going to the bathroom in the woods, Dad's snoring… How am I supposed to sleep in the not-so-great outdoors?"


The next morning, Stu and Drew were about to enjoy a nice swim in the lake when they noticed that Chas was just moping while sitting on a log. And when the two brothers approached Chas, he said to them, "You know what, guys? I don't know why my dad took me out here in the wilderness. I'm cold and dirty and hungry."

"If you don't like nature so much, why don't you just tell your pop you want out?" asked Stu.

Chas replied, "Are you kidding? I tried it last year, and my dad thought I was a wimp, so I have to stay with him."

Presently, Marvin shouted, "Boys! Time for breakfast!"

And when Chas, Stu, and Drew raced to the campfire, Lou said to the boys, "It's flapjacks, grilled over the open flame."

And Chas, Stu, and Drew sat down to eat the flapjacks, which were brown from fire-grilling.

"Say, Dad, do we really have to eat everything grilled over a fire?" asked Chas.

"Are you kidding?" Marvin replied. "Real men eat everything fire-grilled, which will pay off whenever we go hunting or fishing!"

"Okay. If you say so…"

And as Chas ate his flapjacks, Marvin exclaimed to Chas, Lou, Stu, and Drew, "Listen up, boys! After breakfast, we're gonna go on a nature hike, to hunt for deer and quail! Everybody who wants to join me, say 'Aye!'"

"Aye!" shouted Stu, Drew, and Lou together.

"Aye," said Chas very reluctantly.


And so, Marvin and Lou led the three boys along the hiking trail.

"Ah, smell that air!" said Marvin as he took a whiff of the redwood-scented air.

Lou added, "I got the bug spray to keep those blasted mosquitoes away."

"I got my rifle and my hunting license, and Charles has his own!"

(Poor Chas could barely carry his own rifle.)

"I got my compass!" said Drew.

"And I packed a bag of trail mix!" said Stu.

"Great!" exclaimed Marvin. "Then we're all set and ready to go hunting!"

The men and boys hiked and hiked until Marvin led them to a ledge, where Marvin said, "Magnificent view!"

And Lou snapped some shots of the view, much to Marvin's annoyance.

"Lou!" groaned Marvin. "We're supposed to be on a deer hunt, not a camera camping trip."

Lou blushed as he put away his camera, and the two men led Chas, Stu, and Drew down the hiking trail to find a young buck…


But by noon, the camping party had no luck so far.

"Not a single deer in sight so far," said Lou. "How will we cope?"

Marvin, ever hopeful, replied, "How about some lunch?"

"Great!" cried Stu. "I knew this trail mix would come in handy!"

But Stu opened the bags of trail mix as he ran towards the others, so when he tripped over a rock, he ended up spilling the trail mix.

"Oh, no!" he cried. "I spilled it all!"

"Ah, it was probably cheap anyway," snorted Drew.

"Was not!"

"Was too!"

"Was not!"

And as Stu and Drew were arguing, a passing crow flew by Drew and swiped his compass. When Drew noticed this, he shouted to Stu, "Hey, you stole my compass!"

Stu was bewildered. "What?! No, I didn't!"

"You did too!"

"Did not!"

"Did too!"

"Did not!"

"Did too!"

"Did not!"

"Boys!" shouted Lou. "Quit bickering! Be thankful we have bug spray!"

But as Lou reached into his pocket, he noticed a hole in it, and soon, he saw that his glass bottle of bug spray was rolling down the hill and smashed into a rock. The bottle was broken, and therefore the bug spray was wasted.

Poor Lou was so mad he stomped his feet in a fit of rage.

"Wow!" said Chas to Stu. "I've never seen your dad so angry before."

Stu replied, "Still, that puts us in a bit of a predicament regarding lunch."

"That's where my hunting skills come in!" exclaimed Marvin. "Come on! Let's go find a stag to shoot down and eat!"

And Marvin led the others down the trail in search of deer…


It wasn't long, however, before Marvin, Lou, Stu, Drew, and Chas all began to feel the ill effects of no trail mix, no compass, and no bug spray.

"Wish I still had that compass," said Drew to himself. "Then, we'd find the deer easy-peasy."

But Marvin said to the others, "Don't panic. Charles and I still have our rifles, right?"

Chas wearily nodded in reply.

"Good. Why not test 'em out?"

Marvin so eagerly wanted to put his sharp-shooting skills to the test. And when he noticed a quail pecking at the ground, he made some gestures to Chas, and together, they aimed their rifles at the quail. Unfortunately for both father and son, not only did the quail run off, but after they fired, their rifles exploded and fell to pieces!

Marvin was furious, and he stamped the ground in a rage! Chas was shocked because his father had hardly ever lost his temper before!

"Dad, what's wrong?" asked Chas.

"What's wrong?!" growled Marvin. "I'll tell you what's wrong! The food's gone, the rifles are broken, the mosquitoes are pickin' on us, and to top it all off, we're lost!"

"Lost?!" cried Drew. "We're all gonna die!"

Stu tried to comfort his older brother by saying, "Hey, Drew. I just want you to know that, well, if we don't make it, then I'm glad you're my big brother."

And Marvin shouted, "Yeah, but who's playing that infernal racket?!"

The "infernal racket" Marvin was referring to was coming from Lou's transistor radio, from which Franco Corelli was singing "Vesti la giubba" from Pagliacci. As he turned off the radio, Lou replied, "Sorry, but opera music calms my nerves."

He then turned to the boys and asked, "Can anyone think of something to get us out alive?"

"Actually, I can lead you to the hunting grounds," said Chas. "My friends taught me some basic survival skills."

"Well, if I don't eat something in a minute, I'm gonna keel over!" moaned Marvin.

Just then, Chas noticed a bush with some delicious red raspberries, and he picked some of them for his father, as well as Stu and Drew and their father.

"You must be crazy," said Marvin, not angrily. "Who gave you the idea that we should eat wild berries?"

Chas thought back to the time when Betty said to him, "As my pop always says, 'Red and sweet are good to eat, but I swear by this sonnet, green will make you vomit.'"

And he replied, "It's something I learned from my friend Betty."

And Chas, Stu, Drew, Lou, and even Marvin ate the raspberries.

After they had eaten, however, Drew asked, "But how do we get to the hunting grounds?"

Chas looked around and saw a tree with moss pointing to the north. He said, "Didi's a Girl Scout, so she would know that moss always grows on the north side of the trees."

Stu then looked at the moss-covered tree and said, "You know, Chas, I admire Didi's survival skills."

Then, Lou added, "Does your Girl Scout friend know anything about how we can keep the bugs away?"

Chas replied, "No, but Melinda does." And he thought back to the time when Charlotte gave him and Melinda a makeover with mud masks, and Melinda said, "Take it from someone who's been playing in the mud all her life; this mud is both cleansing and invigorating. And when I was feeding the pigs, I noticed that the mud they had been rolling in relieved them of sunburn and kept the bugs away."

And so, to the confusion of Marvin, Stu, Drew, and Lou, Chas jumped into a mud pit and rubbed some mud all over himself. "There, this should help keep the bugs away."

"Neat!" said Stu with amazement as he and Drew jumped in the mud as well.

Lou and Marvin then looked at each other and decided to rub some mud all over themselves in turn.

Once they got out, the mud-covered camping party, now led by Chas, were on their way to hunt for a deer.

"Be on the lookout for deer tracks, slugger," whispered Marvin.

"Okay, dad," Chas whispered in reply.

As so, Chas looked at the trail and spotted some deer tracks. He then said to the others, "The deer should be right about… there!"

And sure enough, Chas, Marvin, Stu, Drew, and Lou saw a herd of deer grazing in the meadow.

"Awesome!" exclaimed Drew.

"I gotta hand it to your friends," said Marvin to Chas, "this mud is also good for camouflage."

Then, Marvin's face fell as he sighed, "Too bad we don't have our guns, though."

Chas replied, "Maybe we don't need guns…"

And he thought back to the time when Charlotte taught him how to sew, and she complimented him: "I never thought I'd say this, but you would make a great tailor."

And so, tying a thin vine to his sewing needle, Chas said to his father and Lou, "You may have to dig a pit for this."

Lou and Marvin again shrugged their shoulders.


After having dug the pit with two shovels, Lou and Marvin stepped aside as Chas placed his handmade net over the pit and Stu and Drew covered it with some leaves.

It was then when Chas gave the plan: "Now, we'll split up. Dad and Mr. Pickles will chase a strong and healthy-looking stag into the pit, while Stu, Drew, and I stand by the pit."

"I like your thinking, slugger," said Marvin. "You really are becoming a man. We might as well be in the Stone Age."

And so, like Neanderthal hunters of old, Marvin and Lou both snuck up on the herd and saw a particularly healthy stag. Despite his age, Lou was not above a bit of mischief himself, so he grabbed a hollowed-out branch, chewed up a piece of paper into a spitball, and used the branch to shoot the spitball at the stag. While the rest of the deer scattered at the sight, the stag was furious, and he started to chase both Lou and Marvin, who ran for the pit.

"Step back, kids!" cried Marvin. "This is gonna be rough!"

And as soon as Chas, Stu, and Drew stepped back, Marvin and Lou leapt over the pit to taunt the stag into running to the leaves and falling into the pit, whereupon Marvin jumped in to wrestle the stag and finish him off.

That night, after they had gone back to the campsite, Chas, Stu, Drew, Marvin, and Lou all enjoyed a fine meal of fire-grilled venison steaks.


At the end of the week, the five campers returned home. And the first person to greet Chas was none other than Melinda. Even before Chas got out of the car, she was so overjoyed, she cried out, "CHARLES! It's me, Melinda! I'm looking at you through your car window! Right here! This is my voice! I'm talking to you from outside!"

Chas then made a "calm down" gesture and got out of the car, and Melinda asked, "Did you have a good camping trip, Charles?"

Chas replied, "Yeah, once we got rid of my dad's uber-manly rifles. We managed to catch a stag and cook some venison because of everything you and the other girls taught me."

"Is that so?" Then, Melinda perked up and said, "Tell me more!"

And so, he did.

Chas' father, Marvin Finster, thought spending so much time around girls would be a problem for his son, when actually it was just the opposite. If it wasn't for them, Chas and his father would almost certainly have met an untimely end during their camping trip. And as time went on, Chas would learn that what's "boyish" and what's "girly" would only be relative, for whereas both Betty and Melinda were more "boyish" than "girly," Chas in turn was more "girly" than "boyish."