It felt good to hold her, despite the circumstances and the pool of tears wetting his shirt.
He shouldn't have pushed her so hard. He was the one who asked her to let go and show him how she could use the dark side. It had clearly scared her and he had underestimated that.
You idiot, Ben.
He sighed and pulled her away from him, examining her face between his hands. He smiled down at her reassuringly as he used his thumbs to wipe away the wetness on her cheeks. Her nose was adorably red, eyes glistening a vibrant hazel illuminated from the sunny day.
Ben cocked his head to the side, motioning to the nearby cliff that overlooked the ocean.
"Come here," He guided her over to sit on the grassy hillside. The energy between them fizzled, still radiating off each other from their sparring. His muscles still burned from the effort and sweat pooled behind his neck. The wind that blew against his tear-soaked shirt pleasantly cooled his warm skin underneath.
They melted to the ground, resting on the cool grass and looking out onto the ocean, glowing silver from the high suns. Ben spotted a few fingerlip garpon jumping out of the water below, their scales sparkling in the light.
Rey crossed her legs and began playing with a few strands of grass in front of her. Ben splayed out next to her, arms propped up behind him and legs extended. The cool breeze was refreshing after their violent dance.
Ben shivered as he ran a hand across the side of his neck, still wet from her kiss.
He was first to speak, "So out of all the blows you landed just now, that one bothered you the most?"
Rey frowned, shaking her head, "No. I know you can handle it." She smiled up at him, ruefully. "It's me. None of what I just did was me."
Well, that's unfortunate because I certainly enjoyed that last bit up until you knocked the breath out of me.
He nodded slowly, "Ok...it scared you." It wasn't a question. As Kylo Ren, his approach would have been much different. He would have told her to be strong, embrace it, don't be afraid.
But he was not that man anymore.
She nodded. "I...had no control. I couldn't control my own power. I was seeing red, my thoughts narrowed on one objective: hurt you, kill you. And up 'till the end-" she blushed "-I manipulated you to get out of your hold."
"It worked." Ben mumbled under his breath.
Rey sighed and looked back up at him, eyes helpless, "How do you do it? How do you not lose control?"
He smiled down at her, "I spent years letting the dark side control me, years consumed by it. Eventually, I wanted it to control everything and everyone I knew - including you." He frowned and looked off to the ocean.
"After I felt my mother...die," he paused and swallowed the quickly forming lump in his throat, "something in me changed. I mean, yes, the cloud of the darkside lifted, but not just that. For the first time in 30 years, I was in control. I made the decision then that I was going to decide for myself how I wanted my life to go."
He looked down at Rey who was silent, her eyes sparkling and curious. He inhaled and continued, "I didn't choose the light or the dark, I chose the force. I chose control. I chose my mother and father's legacy. I chose you."
Rey blushed, smiling and looking down into the grass at her fingertips. "I'm...so happy you did."
Ben slowly raised a finger, touching the side of her cheek where a wild strand of dark brown hair danced across her face. He tucked it behind her ear and felt her shiver slightly. Her eyes closed and she inhaled, smiling. He sensed through their bond her refined focus on his touch, as if it was all she could feel at that moment.
"I want choice and control for you too, Rey." Ben said, leaning in slightly. "I'll help you."
Suddenly, he sensed a disturbance approach behind them, following by the familiar sound of mechanical, rhythmic footfalls in the grass.
Ben whipped his head around, his hand still raised to her cheek. C-3PO was shuffling his way towards them, a glowing, golden humanoid figure among the green of the ground.
"Oh dear, goodness, if I had lungs I would be absolutely out of breath right now! So many hills..." The droid exclaimed.
Ben dropped his hand, rolled his eyes and sighed, turning his gaze back in front of him and placing his arms on bent knees.
Moment ruined by a droid...you're lucky Rey likes you.
Rey turned to face the droid, expectantly.
"Miss Rey, terribly sorry, please forgive the intrusion. But Master Finn is requesting your audience through the holographic comms link, on the Falcon." C-3PO reported.
Master Finn? Ah, yes, FN-2187.
"Thank you, 3PO. Be right there." Her eyes flitted to Ben, apologetically.
They rose, walking towards where the droid was standing. The golden unit shuffled back slightly as Ben passed. He eyed the droid and shook his head, following close behind Rey.
Rey and Ben walked into the Falcon, which was empty save for R2 nobly tucked away in a corner to guard the ship.
Everytime Ben walked into the Falcon, memories uncontrollably flooded back into his head. At one time, they would have stirred the boiling conflict in him, but now they comforted him.
He spotted the old, burned hole in the wall from the time he was playing with his dad's spare blaster, now strapped to Rey's thy, and it fired off into the side of the wall. His dad had come bursting in the main quarters, and had scolded the 8 year old Ben. Now, the memory made him smile.
The Dejarik hologram table was another one of his favorites as a child. He could never figure out the game, but he enjoyed watching the characters move across the board and knock each other out. He had spent hours there laughing at the figures, while his father had tried - but failed - to explain the object of the game.
Most of all, Ben loved the cockpit. That's where he had spent the most time, ogling over his father's abilities in the captain's seat. His passion for flying came from these moments with his father. Ben learned everything he knew about being a pilot from Han. He had always swore to himself and anyone that would listen that one day he would be as good a pilot as his father.
Rey approached the holographic comms link in the center of the main quarters. Ben, wanting to give her some space, rested against the opposite wall, arms crossed. She punched the connection to bring up her friend, and a small, blue, holographic FN-2187 in civilian clothes appeared before her.
The way Rey's eyes lit up at seeing his figure warmed Ben's heart and made him smile to himself.
So this is what she's like with her friends.
"Rey!" Finn's voice was crackly, but clear enough to hear from across the room.
A big, toothy smile grew across Rey's face. "Finn. It's so good to see you. Is everything alright?"
"Does something have to be wrong in order for me to contact you?" Finn said.
She laughed and shook her head, "No, you're right. But you know, stuck in war-mode."
Finn laughed, "Ha! Seriously."
Rey looked at the glowing figure, expectantly.
Should I leave? This is awkward, why did I follow her in here...
"Reason I'm contacting you, I-I just wanted to make sure you're OK...that you're safe, and you returned to Ahch-To in one piece." Finn's voice grew serious.
Rey smiled, shrugging, "Here I am. All in one piece." Her smile faded, "I'm sorry I had to leave so suddenly. I promise everything will make sense...eventually."
"So...you're ok? Are you with...him?" Finn hesitated.
Ben tensed. He knew Finn was talking about him. Through his crossed arms, he squeezed his fists together, threatening to break the bones in his hands.
Yep, shouldn't have come in here. Full of mistakes today, Solo.
"Yes, I'm with Ben." Rey emphasized his name, pointedly. Her eyes flashed up to him across the room and she gave him an apologetic smile.
He smiled up at her through lowered eyes.
The crackling blue figure shifted his stance on his feet. Ben could sense that Finn knew he was in the room.
Good.
"R-right. Ok, well uh, just want to make sure you're ok. If you need me, you know how to find me." Finn paused, then added a little louder. "And we know exactly where to find you."
Really?
Rey smiled, shaking her head. "I know, I know. I'm more than ok, really." Her eyes flicked back up to Ben.
Finn continued, "Ok, just wanted to check in."
More like, just wanted to make sure she was still alive.
"We'll be in touch." Finn continued. "Lot's going on here, but we can talk later about that."
"Ok. Thanks, Finn. Miss you." Rey said, eyes glistening softly as her head cocked slightly to the side.
"We miss you too, Rey." The connection snapped off and the figure was gone.
