Even demons like BTS. Really, my dear.

Baepsae [little birds]
Lyrics and translation: YouTube 5efWmDqX3KQ
Dance: YouTube PM7uIuB2Gs

Fire: YouTube 2cTZTqBU1Rc

We Are Bulletproof
YouTube gqhWHy0rrtM


Tadfield, late evening. The ballroom of Tadfield Manor. Adam is seated behind a long table at the center of a dais, Pepper, Brian, Wensley, DeeDee, and the twin Tadfield Erics to his right, Crowley, Aziraphale, Uriel, Ammun to the left. Adam turns and nods to Crowley. Everyone is dressed casually, Crowley and Aziraphale in their kilts. Adam turns and nods to Crowley.

Young Master. Meet your Baepsae Platoon.

London Eric, Hekla, and London DeeDee enter. Behind them seven rows of seven Disposable Demons dance march.

They call me baepsae
Yokbwatji i sedae
Ppalli chase 'em
Hwangsae deoge nae garangin taengtaeng

So call me baepsae
Yokbwatji i sedae
Ppalli chase 'em
Geumsujeoro taeeonan nae seonsaengnim

Ah noryeok taryeong jom geumandwo
Ah ogeuradeureo nae du sonbaldo
Ah noryeok noryeok ah noryeok noryeok
Ah noraguna ssaksuga

Ah Noryeok taryeong jom geumandwo
Ah ogeuradeureo nae du sonbaldo
Ah noryeok noryeok ah noryeok noryeok
Ah noraguna ssaksuga

(urin baepsaeya) silmang an sikyeo
(urin baepsaeya) ireumgabthane
(urin baepsaeya) gachi saljago
(urin baepsaeya) baepsaeya

They call me baepsae
Yokbwatji i sedae
Ppalli chase 'em
Hwangsae deoge nae garangin taengtaeng

So call me baepsae
Yokbwatji i sedae
Ppalli chase 'em
Geumsujeoro taeeonan nae seonsaengnim

When all have entered the hall, the chant ends. Eric, Hekla, and DeeDee bow low, hands outstretched. Behind them the ranks kowtow to Adam, foreheads on the floor. Adam regards them in silence. Then, having discussed the protocol with Crowley beforehand, merely says:

Attention.

The trio at front stands upright. The ranks behind them sit erect on their heels, hands on their thighs, gazes focused upon Adam. While appearing to be an average of 18, their resemblance to the popular music group from whom they've adapted their chant and dance moves ends abruptly as their subtle savagery registers. There are the usual goth eyes and ragged dark clothing adorned with skulls, daggers, serpents, goat horns, Luciferian sigils. But it's the unblinking feral intensity of their gaze that alarms the angels and humans. They radiate heat. The odor of spent gunpowder permeates the room. The appearance of the almost luminous angel Hekla at the head of such a troop is especially disconcerting to Uriel and Ammun, whose faces are grave and hostile. Adam is unconcerned.

Crowley, introduce them.

As you command, Young Master. Witch Pepper, Councilor Brian, Councilor Wensleydale, may I present to you the Angel Hekla and the Baepsae Platoon of Disposable Demons.

The demons extend their arms and bow from their seated position until Adam says

At ease.

The platoon sits upright again, this time in more relaxed postures.

Crowley, explain your plans for them.

Crowley addresses Adam.

My head of security is teaching them how to drive. They will also do advanced driver training at our Tadfield track. Basic security techniques of krav maga and weaponry. They're already good at surveillance and tracking.

Guns?

Yes. Not to carry. Defend against. Being aware of a sniper's range, for example. How to unload a confiscated weapon. Knowing how to jam mechanisms with precision magic.

No messing about, Crowley.

Absolutely not, Young Master. There will be no tempting humans. We are here to serve you.

I don't think there's room in Tadfield for so many.

Indeed, Young Master. Tonight they will prowl the streets of the village and surrounding lanes so they understand the local map. Tomorrow they will return to London, to work as Ola taxis once they have mastered driving. As a training assignment to learn how to navigate better in human society.

Wesley pipes up.

You'll only need four driver's licenses?

Very perceptive, Councilor.

Isn't DeeDee too young?

They're all much older than they look, Councilor.

Are they all named Eric and DeeDee?

There's a rustle among the platoon. Crowley turns and regards them.

One of the Asian-appearing demons raises her hand and bows.

Lord. We choose the name Jin.

A cocoa-skinned demon with dark curly hair likewise raises his hand and bows.

Lord. And we are Manny.

Aziraphale whispers to Crowley.

My name is Legion, for we are many?

Crowley nods.

DeeDee, Eric, Jin, and Manny, Councilor Wensleydale.

Adam stands. The demons stiffen to attention.

Welcome, Angel Hekla. Welcome, Baepsae Platoon.

He gestures to tables set up along a far wall.

Crowley has provided stuff for a party for you. Tadfield DeeDee and Erics can stay. The rest of us will leave now. You are dismissed.

The Them, Uriel, Ammun, and Aziraphale rise and head toward the entry doors. Crowley is the last to leave. Turns as he exits, and purrs:

불타오르네Bultaoreune.

The platoon leaps to their feet, pumps fists.

Fire! Fire! 싹 다 불태워라Ssak da bultaewora, bow wow wow.

Crowley smiles a snaky smile.

용서해줄게Yongseohaejulge.


The four kids roll their bikes over to the where the Bentley and Uriel's freight van are parked and stay awhile chatting with the supernatural beings. Brian looks worried.

They're a pretty scary gang, Crowley. Not like DeeDee and your two Erics.

Yep. But you don't have to worry about them. They're here to afflict me. Beelzebub's exact order to them was, "Lead them to Demon Crowley." Make of that what you will.

Ammun growls,

They won't touch you kids. You're Adam's crew. And Crowley could torch the lot of them if he felt like it.

Angel Hekla could do a fair amount of torching all by herself. I asked to see her flaming sword. Leysa tells me it's a Viking machete.

Angels don't use machetes.

This one does now. You should see it. She tried it out by clearing a couple of small trees.

Fookin' hell. She didn't get that from Quartermaster.

Nope. And it flames blue. Like Aziraphale's.

Pepper makes a face.

Hekla and the London Eric are fucking, aren't they.

Aziraphale regards her with kindly amusement, as one might a feisty kitten.

Anyone can fuck, Pepper. It would be more correct to say they are lovers. A quite different situation.

Wensleydale looks uneasy. Brian notices, and speaks for him:

She . . . she doesn't . . . um . . . do the entire group, does she?

No, Brian. They're all individuals, even though they resemble one another and go by the same names.

Do demons and angels often become lovers?

Crowley grins at Uriel and Ammun's obvious discomfort.

Nope. Pretty sure Angel and I were the first. You were just now introduced to the second.

Whoa.

Silence as this is digested.

Loud singing can be heard coming from the ballroom.

The Them look at one another.

Crowley, is that "Fire"? By BTS?

Yep. It's one of their favorites. They put it on repeat.

Crowley laughs.

They don't perform for humans. But if you think they were alarming tonight, you should see them dance to "We Are Bulletproof."

Wensley mimics shoving in a magazine and firing a pistol.

Click click bang bang, we just sing it like.

Everyone turns to look at him.

DeeDee's been teaching me to dance. "We Are Bulletproof" is really hard.

I rather enjoy listening to "Magic Shop." Crowley plays it when we drive in the Bentley.

Crowley rolls his eyes and sings,

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh OH oh.