PSA: have you sanitised recently?


Chapter 176

They found a hairdresser on the way to Crasis' house. He lived way out on the outskirts and they had to get Fletcher to take them over that way and then get a taxi, but that far out they were able to find someone decent with room, at least. It only took half an hour, but it did look a lot better. It was just very… boyish. She'd always had such feminine hair, always mid-shoulder blade or longer. And very suddenly it was short. She was encouraged, between Tanith and the hairdresser, to get an undercut. There was no other hope for her anyway, the burning had gone up the hair to almost the skin, so if it wasn't cut out it would fall out likely the next time she showered anyway. So she was left with an undercut. The bits on top were long enough to sort of flop - her hair was very straight and flat like Gordon's so it really was just a sort of flop, there was no other way to describe it - but not long enough to tie back. However, since the damage was mostly at the back, the top still had enough hair to be left down with a side parting to give her a very androgynous bob-like cut, or be tied back in a man-bun. Neither looked right on her, she hated the whole thing, and she wanted to cry, but at least it looked intentional. That was what she told to herself as she pretended to love it for the stressed-out hairdresser's wellbeing, who believed she'd accidentally set herself on fire with a sparkler.

The one thing that had make it better was the hairdresser had called over the barber from the other side of the shop and he'd put some mousse in it and now it was sort of messy and that did look good. The only issue there was that any time she got into a fight it was going to get ruined, and she actually had to upkeep it, and honestly, she still kind of hated it, but it was better than it was. She still hadn't told Nadia.

Dexter had to ask around a lot and pull more than one personal favour to get the address of Crasis, who they found out had married a mortal and wasn't using magic anymore. That had shocked Valkyrie, but in the last half hour of their taxi ride, she supposed she understood. If Nadia suddenly lost her magic and was going to age and die a mortal death… she'd probably give up her magic to be with her. She'd rather live and die with the woman she loved than live on hundreds of years without her. That just made her heart ache for Skulduggery. To lose a wife, a person so loved, would kill her. To lose a future baby she could have with Nadia – she took a deep breath and shook that thought away. She wouldn't think of that. She had to focus on Ryan and then go crying to Nadia tomorrow morning when the mess of New Years was officially over.

"I should warn you," Dexter said as they watched the taxi drive off where it had dropped them off right outside Crasis' house. "The Dead Men didn't really get on with Crasis in the war."

"What does that mean?" Tanith asked.

"It means Skulduggery and Crasis butted heads a lot," Dexter told them. "Crasis wanted to be involved in tactics more since we used a lot of his time and effort in our plans, but Skulduggery never liked his ideas and since Skulduggery was making plans on behalf of the Dead Men in those instances and it didn't involve anyone other than us, he always got his way. And Crasis never really liked us a whole lot for it."

"Ah, no one likes Skulduggery," Valkyrie said with a shrug. "We only want to know what he did. I doubt he doesn't want help if Mercy forced him into anything anyway."

"What's the Dead Men?" Ryan asked her when Dexter went and knocked on Crasis' door.

"It's a group of people that did very difficult missions in a war you don't know about," she said and pushed him towards the door.

When Robert Crasis opened the door, he looked at Dexter and his jaw clenched. His eyes flicked over Valkyrie and Tanith while Ryan stayed out of the way. "Can I help you?" He asked them.

"Hello Robert," Dexter said in his kind voice. She'd only heard him pull that one out on very, very special occasions. "We'd just like to have a word, if that's alright?"

Robert considered him for a moment and then opened the door. They were let into a hallway but he opened another door to his immediate right and ushered them into the large double garage that he'd turned into a workshop of sorts. There was sawdust everywhere, and some flecks of resin and plastic. It smelt strongly of varnish, and a drying six door wardrobe stood by the garage door.

"This reminds me of your place in Venice," Dexter tried with a smile, putting his hands into his pockets to look extra sweet.

"Before it burnt down," Crasis responded. "Vex, I don't mean to be rude, but I was really hoping never to see you again."

"You know why we're here," Valkyrie stepped in.

Crasis shook his head, the muscles in his jaw tightening. "All I want is to be left alone. I'm out of the game but people… people keep pulling me back in. After years of not being involved in any craziness, it's suddenly one after the other and I just want to be left alone to grow old."

"We appreciate that," Valkyrie said politely. "We're not asking you to do any magic. We just want to ask about the people that did."

"Well, that's Vincent Foe and his idiots. Deacon Maybury, the twat, had mentioned what I did for the Sanctuary, and they remembered. Of course they remembered. So they came in, threatened me, threatened my wife, my kids… What could I do?"

"We're not blaming you," Dexter said softly.

"So I did it. I turned the woman, Charient, into a frumpy little woman. It wasn't my best work but it would have held for a few hours I expect. I'm sorry if anyone got hurt, but I have to protect my family first and I knew you Dead Men lot were in the area anyway. I figured you'd not be that bad off."

"We weren't," Valkyrie said. "But you should know, Deacon's idiocy caught up with him and he was killed not long ago."

Crasis looked at her for a moment, saying nothing, and then swallowed and looked at the floor. "That's a shame," he said, eyes drifting down. "He was… I'd like to say a good man but I'm not so sure. He was the one to introduce me to Sarah, my wife. He had asked her out and she laughed so hard she fell over. And when we met it was like love at first sight. So I owed him. It's a… it's a pity I won't be able to repay him."

Ryan chose to open his bottle of coke and it fizzed out over the floor, making them all look at him. He looked up from the mess he made and blushed. "Sorry."

"Perhaps you can repay him still," Tanith said, leaning against a table. "Maybe one of Foe's gang said something when they were here we could use? They have the Doomsday Machine hidden somewhere nearby–"

"They have the Doomsday Machine?!" He said, a little panic in his voice. He took a deep breath and put his hands out. "Deacon was working with them and knew about this?"

"As far as we can tell. He found the key and tried selling it instead of handing it to them, and got himself killed. We've found it but they know and now it's something of a race," Valkyrie said darkly.

Crasis looked between all four of them before glaring at the floor. "Then it's a good job Deacon's dead or else I'd kill him myself. I did hear something, actually. I heard Obloquy complaining that there were always people around when they were checking on 'it'. They didn't say what it was but I assume now it's the Machine. Mercy was meant to stay quiet while I worked but she kept moving and joining in on the conversation and joked that if their car broke down they'd have to take the monorail to the end of the world. I told her to be quiet so I could work, but I should have let her keep talking."

"You wouldn't happen to have a map of the city would you?" Valkyrie asked. "Or know where the monorail stops at?"

Crasis grunted and left them alone for a few moments before coming back with a large picture frame which he set on the table Tanith had lent on. Valkyrie saw a white marking pen and took it over to the frame. "Can I use this?"

He took it from her and drew where the monorail stopped, which was in seven places.

"The Machine will be in a public place," Dexter said.

"These are all heavily populated places," Crasis said. "Especially on New Years."

"Where are these stops?" Tanith asked.

"The M.G.M Grand Hotel and Casino, the Paris tourist trap, Caesars Palace resort which is next to that Flamingo park, Harrah's casino and the Linq Hotel, The Convention Center, Westgate, and finally the Sahara," Crasis listed, pointing to all the spots. "It's a tourist area though, there are hundreds of places they could fit the Machine between any one of those spots."

"It is a lot," Ryan said from besides Crasis, putting his bottle down and looking at the map with a fake serious expression.

"Could you take your bottle off the map please," Valkyrie asked, getting a little ticked off at him.

"Oh, sorry."

"The heaviest populated areas would be here and here if they were going to do this today. They'll have the most stuff going on. It won't be in either of these places because they'd never get to the Machine, and they'd never of had a moment to stash it there let alone get in to set it off. They're full of security," Dexter said.

Crasis circled them. "This area in between those could work."

"But the Convention Centre could be more ideal," Valkyrie said, pointing to the little circle Ryan had made on the map.

Of course, Ryan chose then to choke on his drink and spray his spit all over Valkyrie.

There was silence as Valkyrie stood up straight, wipe her face of spit and then gave Ryan the meanest look she could muster.

"Sorry," he squeaked, putting the lid on his coke and continuing to cough and splitter.

"Maybe you should get some air," Dexter told him.

"Okay," he wheezed, almost running for the door.

"There's a bathroom under the stairs," Crasis told her, and Valkyrie stalked off without a word.

She had a long chat with herself in her head about how she should not murder little boys before going to the toilet and scrubbing her face a second time with water, glaring at her hair each time she remembered its new problem. She took a long deep breath.

She exited the bathroom and decided to go see Ryan outside. Not because she wanted to kill him, but rather because she was actually concerned someone else might turn up and kill him. Also, she kind of wanted to kill him…

"How're you doing, Ryan?" She asked. Her voice was softer, less angry than she expected it to be.

He looked over at her and looked away quickly. "Oh. I'm okay. I'm really sorry I spit on you."

"I'm clean now," she said, sitting on the short, brick front garden wall in front of the house. "Hmm, why do you do that?"

"Do what?"

"You keep looking away from me. Is there something you want to say?"

"What? No, no, sorry," he said, glancing at her and away. She smiled. "I just don't want to stare, you know. I don't know how long to look before it's weird so I try not to look at anyone for too long."

She chuckled. "I guess. You're an oddball."

He looked deeper into the ground.

"But that's okay. We're all oddballs really. You're coping pretty well you know." He looked up as she got a text and he was quiet as she answered it. It was Nadia, sending her cute messages and asking how the day was going. She gave her a text back and put it away. "Have you had any calls from your family? I thought you'd be asking to go home."

He coloured up and looked away. "Why would I? You're not that much older than me."

She snorted a laugh. "So?"

"I'm fifteen. You're, like, seventeen, right?"

"Yeah?"

"That's only two years difference," he said hotly, kicking at the ground and glancing at her every so often. "We're practically the same age and you're treating me like I'm a child. Fine, okay? You have no interest in me. I'm used to that. But don't stand there and talk down to me like you're so much better than I am."

She gave him a long look, eyebrows raised. She folded her arms and leaned back enough to regard him better. He just spat on her and now she was apparently talking down to him? She was trying to be nice through all of this. "I'm not talking down to you or treating you like a child. I promise you that."

"But you expected me to want to go home like a kid."

"Yes, because you suffered a shock. You learnt about a lot of crap and you ran away from home to America to get away from this group of terrorist who specifically want to kill you. Why would you not be scared and afraid and want to go home? Tanith and Dexter are my adoptive siblings. I hug them. I've slept in their arms before when I've been that upset. I know strong, war-hardened men who hold each other at night to keep nightmares away. It's got nothing to do with age, it's just that times are shit and you deserve to have someone help you. Usually, people turn to their family at times like that. That's all I meant by what I said. What does that have to do with any interest of any type?"

Ryan was actually looking at her now and he looked more upset and embarrassed. "Oh."

"And the only time you have acted like a child is right now," she told him. "I don't particularly like petulance, Ryan. I don't respond well to it from anyone older than five."

"Right."

"So what does this have anything to do with some interest? I've been trying to keep you alive since I met you, haven't I?"

"Err, nothing," he said, looking away again.

"Don't make me ask you again."

He winced. "I don't know, I was just – I thought you saw me as a, you know, kid and… I was just saying that while, obviously, you'd never, like, go out with someone like me, that's still no reason to talk down to me. Which you weren't doing, and I apologise again for thinking you were."

She looked at him a moment and her mouth turning into a grin – he fancied her. That's why he was all embarrassed. "Ryan, that is very sweet. But I'm afraid you're not really my type."

"Sure. Yeah. I get that."

"It's not that I'd never date someone like you, it's just that I couldn't."

"Sure. Yeah, absolutely."

"Because I'm a lesbian."

He stilled for a minute. "Oh. Right. I guess, the jokes in the car…"

"I was being serious. In fact, I'm actually engaged."

"Oh. I – I'm sorry, I didn't know."

"Don't apologise, it's fine," she said, smiling at him. "I don't want this to be weird, alright? It's okay to have crushes on anyone you like. Just don't take out your unrequited feelings on me by getting angry at little things like me worrying for you."

"I won't. Again, I mean. I'm sorry."

"It's fine."

Dexter and Tanith came out of the house, both with big grins. "We've solved the mystery!" Dexter announced.

"Am I out of the job?" Valkyrie smirked.

"So far you may as well pack up and go home right now," Tanith grinned.

"Oh really?"

"Yep. You were right about it being at the Convention Centre, but we know exactly where it is because we are amazing detectives," Dexter smirked. "We'd better go back to the pickup spot so Fletcher can take us there."


Ooh, the speed of me getting this chapter out! I bet it almost gave you nostalgia of back when I posted every day ;)

This was a super fun one to write, by the way. Very filler energy, but good fun still.

Also, sanitise again, to be sure.